Victim of a Foolish Heart
Chapter 6
It was several hours later when Brooke finally found the courage to go home. She'd known for awhile what she was going to tell Ryan, but she knew actually doing it was going to be difficult. Brooke Davis learned from her mistakes and she'd be damned if another blonde hair boy was going to play her for a fool.
"Ryan." She called his name before she'd even shut the door. There was no point in drawing this out. She'd lick her wounds later. She had to get this done before she lost her nerve. Brooke saw him through the window. He was still sitting on the patio. She had to stop herself from worrying about him and whether or not he'd been there the whole time she'd been gone or if he'd eaten. After unsuccessfully trying to convince Brooke to give Ryan another chance, Summer offered her a place to stay until she could get her own place. She'd come back for her stuff when Ryan was at work tomorrow. She had everything planned. She just needed to tell Ryan. Her feet wouldn't move. Her heart was still trying to talk her out of what her head had talked her into. "You can't give up on love." That's what Summer had told her. Brooke told Summer she hadn't. Love had given up on her. With that thought in her mind, she went to Ryan.
"Hey," he said sitting up straighter when she walked through the door.
"We need to talk."
He nodded. "I..."
"Me first," she said as she twirled the plantinum promise ring around her finger in nervousness. "I know you didn't kiss her on purpose and that you didn't do it to hurt me. You love me and I know that. I've never doubted that you meant it every time you told me and if you said it now, I know you'd mean it. You're not a man of many words Ryan Atwood, but you don't have to be. I've always known where I stood with you. You've always been honest with me and I appreciate it and so I'm going to be honest with you." Ryan's eyes followed the tears that fell silently from her eyes as they trickled down her cheek and landed on her lips. She even cried with grace. "Even though I know you love me, I also know you kissed her. The fact that it was an 'in the moment' thing is irrelevant. It happened. Lucas said it was an 'innocent, in the moment' kiss with Peyton too and he loved me, but that didn't stop him."
Ryan interrupted. "I'm not Lucas, Brooke. What happened with him and Peyton is not..."
"What's going to happen with you and Marissa? Yeah. I told myself that and as much as my heart tells me to believe it, my head tells me not to. I just can't go through all of that again."
"B, it's not like that," he said standing up and walking to her. "Marissa's gone."
"She is?"
"Yeah, she is. Seth just took her to the airport."
"Well, it doesn't change anything. I have to leave, Ryan."
"No, you don't."
"I do. You know, I told you I couldn't do this again. That I wouldn't. I don't want to be that girl."
"And you're not."
"If I stay, I will be."
"No, because I'm not that guy. I'm not going to leave you, B. I'm not going to lie to you."
"But what you and Marissa have is..."
"In the past. I loved her, just like you loved Lucas but I don't anymore. I thought maybe I did. She completely took me by surprise and it did bring up old emotions, but that's all they were. Old emotions. They aren't left over feelings. There's no desire in me to see her again. There's no part of me that wants her or needs her."
"Maybe you don't think so now, but tomorrow or a week from now or even a year from now, you could."
"But I won't. I'm not going to let you just walk away from me and from this just because some stupid boy broke your heart. He let you walk away and I'm grateful because you walked into my life in the process, but I'm not him. I don't wonder about what's out there anymore."
"Ryan."
"Look, you're scared and I understand that, I do. But you can't let your fear control the way you live your life because if you do you're always going to be running. There's always going to be a reason to leave, Brooke. But if you love me and I know you do, you have to stay. I'm going to love you day in and day out for the rest of my life and I don't want to give you that love and you not be here to feel it. You deserve to be loved, Brooke, and I want to give you that."
"I know you do, but..."
"Just stop. Nothing you say is going to change what you feel, Brooke. You can talk all you want, but you don't really want to leave. Stay with me." Several minutes passed with their eyes locked firmly on the other's. Her tear stained face dried in those silent moments. He brushed his thumb gently against her cheek and a soft "okay" escaped from her lips as a single star shot through the sky.
The End.