Revenge, two sugars, no milk.

By Estellio

Rating: Pg-13

Pairing: McWeir, Sheyla.

Warnings: Vengeful pranks (Tee hee)

Summary: Pay back time, Sheppard style. Sequel to Truth Or Dare.

A/n: Don't hurt me, I know it's taken abso-fracking-loutly AGES for me to upload this but I've had a severe bout of writers block that looks like it's not going to lift for a while. I'm totally lost in all my fics except my new Star Wars one and that's because my friend is helping me with it. My exams start Monday so I better go off and start studying (It's Sunday) Well, hope you enjoy this one and sorry it's so short. The NEXT one will be longer and probably the second last. Yeah, I know. We're nearly there! And this'll probably be my last Atlantis fic for a while too, I don't have any others in the works except for another Chapter of sitting comfortably and a possible sequal to The Scientist. But they're not going to get published anytime soon. My friend Dana is also badgering m eto write a shweir one...so you never know! Anyway, I give you...rtsnm, enjoy!

IOIOIO

When Rodney woke the first thing that came to mind was that his head hurt.

The second was that he was on the floor.

The third was that the floor was cold.

Oh no! That thing about me and Elizabeth, it was all just a dream! I hit my head on the counter! It was all just a really, really, dirty dream!

He got to his feet slowly, wanting to return to his happy place where he was tangled up in sheets with a beautiful woman who, despite what she may have told people, snored.

"Is your head feeling any better?" Rodney turned to face the snoring lady as two thing suddenly occurred to him. Firstly that he was bare arse naked, second was that she was wearing a towel.

I will not start dancing, I will not start dancing, I will not…

"It wasn't just a really racy dream then?" Oh god, that had to be the worst possible thing he could have said. He really wished he was still unconscious.

"No Rodney." Weir laughed, sauntering forward and bending down to kiss his cheek "It wasn't." Hell, if he thought she looked good last night, this morning was a definite improvement.

"Anyway…I better get showered and dressed," He grinned slyly up at her and kissed her again. "Care to join me?"

"Rodney!" She said scandalously. "We have shift in an hour. Go get washed and dressed." She hounded Rodney into the bathroom with a shake of her head.

"Men," she sighed, "If their libidos were weapons the Wraith would be screwed…Oh god that came out so very, very wrong."

IOIOIO

Major Sheppard hopped from foot to foot irritably.
"Take it out!" He begged Beckett. "Take it out! It hurts!"

"Oh, quit yer bellyaching!" Carson snapped. "Ya'd think a man like you would be able to take a wee needle now." Beckett yanked it out of his arm causing the Major to yelp. "There, that should get rid of the colouring. It'll take a few hours but ya should

be regular coloured again in no time." Sheppard sighed with relief, scrubbing a hand through his mop of dark hair.

"Thanks doc…say…you don't have any blue dye…do you?" Beckett shot him a dark look.

"I'm jus' after getting rid of the green and purple, what do you want the blue for?" Sheppard smiled putting on his 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' look combined with 'I'm a hungry puppy feed me'.

Carson briefly wondered why most of his thoughts were about food but shoved it aside. Why did Major Sheppard want blue dye?

"It's for a project. Please?"

"What project, Major?" I'm a puppy and butter wouldn't melt in my mouth look was turned on full blast. "I have some blue dye yes but that's not for use on clothes and stuff, it's for use on humans." Sheppard grinned evilly.

"It'll do." With a sigh Beckett moved off to get it.

"ZERE YOU ARE!" Shepard spun to face Zelenka who stormed in looking like he had just been electrocuted. His hair stuck out every which way and his eyes were ringed with dark circles from lack of sleep.

"Yes, here I am." Dr. Kavanaugh and two other techies came out from behind Zelenka forming something quite close to flight pattern Omega, the kind used for a kamikaze bomber run…hold on. HE was the target! Not good.

"Beckett?" He cried worriedly. If anyone could defend him it would be the Scott, after all, the Scottish were fierce warriors…right?

"Oh no!" The blonde one McKay was convinced was trying to kill them all said, walking forward. "You're coming with us." John Sheppard the first was a man who was not afraid of many things…but this was one of them.

"BECKETT!" When Beckett returned all he found was fingernail scrawls on the wood of the bed table.

"Hmm. That wasn't there a minute ago."

IOIOIO

Ford made his way down the corridor with his P-90 in hand. Due to his friend Mitchell's rather nasty hangnail, he couldn't go on the mission and Ford figured he was far more in danger of pants trapping Major's here than on the other planet, Wraith be damned.

"NO! NO! LET ME GO! SOMEONE HELP ME!" He heard the Major's voice carry down the hallway and ran to see what was happening. No matter how odd he was with his CO at the moment, no one deserved what he was undergoing. He was being carried towards the labs by four scientist.

"Geeks will rule the Earth." He mumbled before raising his gun. "Alright, nobody move. Put the Major down." Zelenka turned, the look of pure, caffeine deprived insanity in his eyes.

"Not until he unlocks the chair! We're sick of putting our asses on the electrical line for him, it's time he just unlocked it." Ford lowered his gun.

"Sir, did you lock the chair."

"Maybe? I don't know. I could have!" With a sigh he began to walk away.

"Ford! FORD! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THEM! FORD THAT'S AN ORDER!"

"I've already got orders from Doctor Weir to go off world. Just do what they say and don't mention Star Wars or Star Trek. You'll be fine."

"FORD!" His Lieutenant disappeared around the corner leaving him in the hands of madmen who carried him into the Chair room and threw him onto it.

"Alright, now. What's the password?"

"The what?"

"The Password, to the chair. You locked the chair. Six of our scientists had to go down to get analgesic on their behinds because they were electrocuted so many times by that infernal machine now, what's the password?" Sheppard was shocked.

"I don't know! I didn't lock it on purpose!"
"Well…what were you thinking of when you were sitting on the chair." Sheppard closed his eyes and thought back.

"That's easy. Food. I was thinking how much a I miss Macaroni and cheese and beer and most of all…sausages." There was a little beep and everyone looked to the monitor. The chair had been unlocked.

"…That password…was…sausages?" Kavanaugh said, distressed, idly rubbing his backside to get the feeling back in it.

"Seems so." Zelenka said in awe. "I don't know whether he's a genius or the biggest idiot to walk the earth." There was a moment of pause before everyone intoned.

"Idiot." No one noticed that the idiot in question was slinking out and back towards the infirmary. He had blue dye to get and a prank to put in motion. Speaking of pranks he thought he might go and pay Doctor Weir a visit and see how she was doing.

"Morning Major." The woman in question just rounded the corner, sipping a coffee.

"Morning Doctor Weir." He said, somewhat dismayed at the lack of pink in her hair. "I saw Ford leaving, where's he going?"

"Off world with AT-8."

"The Spanners?" Weirs head shot up.

"Who?"

"Oh…nothing…"

"You just called them the Spanners…why?" Sheppard began to look distinctly uncomfortable.

"Well…you see…Remember how I wouldn't allow Ford name things…well…that was the reason."

"…" She gave him the 'I'm going to get so mad at you if you don't' finish your story now´ look and he continued on.

"…He gave everyone the bright idea of naming the teams. At-8 are the spanners because…I don't know why, maybe they're all mechanics or something." He shrugged. Elizabeth tried not to laugh as she asked the question that immediately popped to mind.

"What's your team called, Major?" He began to look uncomfortable.

"Well…I didn't name it…"

"Major?"

"The Flock."

"What?"

"Well...my name is Sheppard and I'm the leader of the team and someone thought it'd be funny to call them my flock. You know. Sheppard, flock…sheep?" Elizabeth stared at him for several moment.

"I'll be going now…."

"Right…okay then. See you around." He hadn't even turned the corner when he heard her laughing. However, once he had rounded the corner it was his turn to laugh as McKay walked past in a blue wooly cap.

"Don't say a word. Not a word!"

Was it just him or was today going to be a very strange day?

IOIOIO

That evening:

Teyla Emmagen of the Athosians was, for lack of a better word, knackered! She could just keel right on over and sleep forever. After the ceremony John had had to be brought back to Atlantis after a second allergic reaction, she had yet to see him but Ford assured her he looked like Barney the Dinosaur. Now Teyla didn't know who Barney was, nor what was a Dinosaur but when she had asked one of the Atlantians on the main land he had asked

"The big purple and green guy from out imaginations?"

She had refused to ask any more after that. Now she was on a Jumper back to Atlantis and half asleep.

"We're arriving now, Ma'm." The young Lieutenant in the front reported snapping her from her 'I'm almost asleep, so close. Just another second and I'll be asleep' frame of mind and she felt the bump of the Jumper landing.

"Thank you Lieu…" She trailed off with a large yawn and the Lieutenant just smiled, helping her out of the Jumper. "I am fine." She insisted when it became apparent he was planning on escorting her all the way back to her quarters.

"You sure?" He asked, his accent rising and falling with the words.

"I am, I want nothing more now than to shower off the oils and go to sleep." She said, indicating the brown henna-like substance that made floral patterns up her arms and legs. The lieutenant left her alone and she stumbled into her room with fatigue. Quickly she undressed out of the ceremonial robes and all but fell into the bathroom. She found a large blue bottle sitting on the shelf in her shower with a white ribbon tied around it.

"Ah, a present from Major Sheppard, he is so thoughtful." She opened it an took a whiff, I smelt a little strange but she poured some onto he hand and looked a the dark blue liquid with interest. It appeared to be a body wash of some sort. "If it is a gift I must use it at least once." Switching on the shower she slipped in and took a cloth and the bottle.

An hour later Teyla's screams could be heard on the mainland and Sheppard laughed till he cried.

IOIOIO

Don't forget to review. I'm NEARLY at a hundred. Only 11 or so away. So come on, help me join that 100 elite! I'd threaten you that I woudn't write anymore or something but ye all know I'd be lying. Anyway, hope you enjoy and dno't forget some R&R never goes amiss. (hint hint, nudge nudge)