DTRH Chapter 2
General O'Neill and Colonel Carter looked at the two visitors sitting across the desk from them. General O'Neill held his head on his hand as his elbow rested on the desk. "Well, good news is, you've been cleared to leave the infirmary, and can stay in the VIP rooms for visiting dignitaries."
Fever grinned at him mischievously "Oh, we're dignitaries now? Hear that Rhade, I'm a dignitary. I guess that means you have to treat me with respect. Ha!"
"Respect goes both ways. I'll respect you as much as you respect me."
She gave a disgusted pout at that logic. Glaring, she asked, "Well General, what is the bad news?"
"Bad news?"
"You said quote, 'the good news is'. Which implies that there is bad news. So what is the bad news?"
"Oh that. … Well, you're still not cleared to leave the base. So no outside trips for you."
"You do realize that it's kind of boring here, right?"
"We invaded their base Fever. We aren't here to entertained." Rhade admonished.
"Speak for yourself Uber."
Colonel Carter broke in hurriedly, "We've prepared separate rooms for you."
Fever crossed her arms, and stared at Colonel Carter through narrowed eyes. "Separate rooms? What for?"
"I have no objections to separate rooms." Rhade said superiorly. 'In fact, I might enjoy a room of my own." He said looking at Fever smugly. "Is there some reason that we shouldn't have separate rooms? It's not like we shared rooms on the Andromeda."
Looking shifty, Fever replied, "No of course not. ... Are you going to be nearby? You know, just in case?"
"Just in case of what Fever?" Rhade asked in amusement.
"I don't know, an emergency or something." She shrugged seemingly nonchalantly.
"Well, now that's settled, I'll show you to your quarters for the time being." Colonel Carter said decisively in relief.
"Behind the Generals and Colonels' backs Fever stuck her tongue out a Rhade and made a face at him. Rhade merely raised an eyebrow at her and gestured for her to proceed.
Looking at their separate doors, Fever asked, "Can we leave the doors open?"
"Why should we leave the doors open?" Rhade asked acerbated.
"I don't know, maybe we'll be attacked!"
"We're on a military base, underground in the middle of a mountain. Who is going to attack us?"
She raised her own eyebrow and said just as superiorly, "You place entirely to much faith in the military Rhade." and marched head held high into her room, pointedly leaving her door open.
Rhade gazed after silently, shaking his head in amazement before continuing to his room. In concession though, he did leave his door cracked.
The first night that SG-1 had the two separated, it only lasted 2 hours. Then she started screaming for him, and he came running.
He came running in bare chested and demanded, "What! What is it?"
"Oh you came. I Just had a nightmare." she said innocently.
"Nightmare? You haven't been to sleep yet!" He snarled.
"How do you know?" She countered.
"You have no, as you say, bed hair. Also humans secrete a hormone when they go into REM." He answered impatiently.
"Oh... So you won't stay until I go to sleep?"
Grinding his teeth, he turned and began to beat his head against the wall until the security detail came to escort him back to his room. They had come in response to Fever's screams also.
About two hours later, she came to his door and whispered, "Rhade." Quiet for a moment, then a little a little louder, "Rhade, are you awake?" Still louder, "Rhade?"
"What?" his voice positively dripped ice.
"Oh good, you're still awake." She came over and sat on his bed in the semi-darkness. "Will you tell me a story?"
"Gahh!"
"Okay, if you don't know any stories, can we talk about your sense of smell? I've heard Ubers, sorry, I mean Nietzcheans have really sensitive noses." She reclined back on her elbows and looked at him. He just glared at her silently.
"What is the worst thing that you've ever smelled? Hum, no answer. What about when someone lets out a really rank fart in a closed room? Or smelly feet? Oh, oh, oh. What about when Harper forgets to take a bath for a few days. Does that really bother you? 'Cause it does me. Can you tell if someone hasn't changed their underwear in a few days? 'Cause I've heard that males do that. Wear the same underwear for days on end."
Rhade groaned and turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
She rolled on her back also, with arms behind her head and continued, "So, what else can you smell really well? Better yet, what smells good to a Nietzchean? Fresh baked chocolate chip cookies? Coffee? Flowers? Tangerines? Does fresh cut grass smell like watermelons to you?"
"If I answer any of these questions, will you please go to bed?"
"Sure." She replied. "….Eventually."
"Okay, yes, I can tell when Rommie hasn't been able to get Harper to take a bath, and it is offensive. I can tell how healthy a human is by their body odor…"
"Oh really? …Am I healthy?"
"Besides the medicine giving you a metallic smell, you smell very healthy. In spite of all the sugar and caffeine you consume. Other smells, since Nietzcheans don't consume sugar or caffeine, cookies, and coffee fresh or not, don't appeal. What we find extremely appealing is the smell of an aroused woman, or an ovulating woman."
"Eww. T.M.I."
"T.M.I?"
"Too much information! …You can really smell when a woman is ovulating? … That is just wrong in so many ways."
"You can ask me if I can tell when a person has clean underwear on, but the fact that I can smell an aroused female is too much information?"
"Duh! That's like finding out your parents have sex. …Not that I have any, but you get the gist."
"So why won't you sleep in your room?"
"Because of the rules, and the Boogeyman."
"What rules and who is this Boogeyman?"
"The rules for surviving a scary movie. And the Boogeyman is some psycho who hides in your closet wearing a Halloween mask. He likes to stab you, then chop you up and eat you after he makes clothes out of your skin. Apparently Chianti and fava beans go well with that meal."
All Rhade could do was groan and vow to kill whoever was filling her head with more nonsense.
This went on the entire night. At the 8 am roll call, Rhade had bloodshot eyes, a bruised forehead and an angry look. Fever had her head on her arms trying to sleep.
Colonel Carter looked at them and asked, "Was something wrong with your rooms?"
Jack and Daniel looked around innocently because they had already received the story of the night's escapades from security.
"Rhade kept me up all night." Fever mumbled.
This time it was Colonel Carter who raised her eyebrows in disbelief as Rhade ground his teeth.
"There was nothing wrong with our rooms Colonel Carter, simply with the information that Fever is being exposed to. I would like the name of the person who is introducing Fever to 'horror' movies and books, and request that she sleep with them." Rhade ground out irritated.
"Excuse me?" Sam questioned in surprise.
Jack broke in amusement, "Major Coburn, care to answer Mr. Rhade? No. How about you Daniel?"
"Sir, she comes from a galaxy far, far away. Who would've thought that she was so susceptible to horror."
"Not funny Daniel."
"Damnit Fever, I've seen you face down Magog and Kalderns without flinching. Why are you so scared of things that don't exist?" Rhade demanded impatiently.
"Because they do to exist!" Fever declared. "He waits in your closet to see if you follow the rules, and if you don't, he stabs you, makes clothes out of your skin, and then chops you up and eats you."
"Coburn, what the hell have you been letting her watch?"
"But she is so cute when she watches things through her fingers. She's already got the rules down on how to survive a scary movie."
"What exactly are these rules you're telling Fever about?" Rhade asked impatiently.
"Well, the first one is you can never have sex. The second is…" Fever started.
"The second is never drink or do drugs." Daniel continued for her amused.
"And the third is to never say 'I'll be right back'." Coburn said with a smirk.
"A variation of the last rule is to never separate." Teal'q supplied tranquilly.
General O'Neill looked at her and said calmly, "Those are all very good rules for you to follow Fever. We wouldn't want anything else to happen to you."
"See Rhade, everyone knows the rules except for you." Fever mumbled sleepily. Suddenly Fever raised her head with a curious look in her eyes. "Hey Coburn, I've got a question. If two people have sex, but don't separate from the group, does that cancel out the death factor? Or do they all die even though it was only two of the group having sex?"
Jack looked at her and then Coburn, as everyone except for Rhade and Teal'q, started snickering. "How 'bout I get this one?" Looking at Fever, O'Neill answered. "Nope they still die, but everyone else escapes while they're being killed."
Sam had her head on her arms laughing as Rhade began to beat his head on the table in frustration. "Please don't encourage her!"
"Well, she has achieved her third or is it her fifth goal again." Daniel commented.
Coburn looked at the General and said, "So I guess letting her watch 'Dog Soldiers' and 'Amityville Horror' is out of the question?"
"I don't know Coburn, why don't you ask Mr. Rhade?"
Glaring at him, Rhade snarled, "Do you even have to ask?"
Teal'q looked at General O'Neill and said with a small smile, "I feel that her thinking patterns are unique. She doesn't seem to be burdened with many preconceived notions. Although, I'm not sure that it is a good thing or not."
"Oh really, I was just going to call her plum crazy." Jack said idly.
"Oh, I wouldn't say that." Sam disagreed. "She just seems young to me."
"Sam, she just said that she believes in the Boogeyman."
"No she didn't. She doesn't know what the Boogeyman is. She simple took a bunch of serial killers and incorporated them into one being. What?" Sam asked as Jack raised eyebrows at her.
Daniel defended Colonel Carter by saying, "She's right Jack. I don't think that Fever nor Telemachus have ever heard of the Boogeyman until they arrived here. She is simply giving a name and characteristics to an unknown entity. Like the parable of five blind men describing an elephant."
"Good God Daniel, can you not for once give a simple explanation? Just say she's insane and forget about it."
"But she's not. She's a sweet, intelligent girl." Daniel was quiet a moment as everyone just looked at him. "Okay, she's sweet to me." He hastily added.
"Of course she's sweet to you. All the psychos are." The general was quiet a moment before asking, "What is she doing?"
Teal'q answered, "She is giving extremely graphic and lurid descriptions of the Boogeyman's murders to Rhade. She sounds like she is in awe of his abilities."
Rhade looked over at the SG-1 unit, and demanded, "Will someone please tell her that these people don't exist."
Sam said sweetly, "Can't do it. Most of the stories are based on actual events. Take The Texas Chainsaw Murderer. He was actually a man named Ed Guin. He killed strangers and kept their skins. He used their bodies as hamburger meat as his roadside store. He was also called Leatherface because he liked to wear their skins."
"Eeww…. Know any more stories?"
"No, don't tell her anymore horror stories! I'll never be able to get any sleep. She's bad enough as it is."
"Am not!"
"Excuse me, who kept me up all night asking for stories?"
"Well, Rommie either plays music or tells me stories until I go to sleep."
"She's a warship! She doesn't do those sort of things."
"She does for me. And she knows lots of cool stories. A lot better than the ones you know I bet."
"Should we tell them that we can give her a radio?" Coburn asked.
"Nah. I'm having to much fun watching them argue." Jack answered. "Maybe later. If she decides to switch to driving us crazy instead of him."