Rhade looked at Fever suspiciously. "What are you planning?"
She started out of her thoughts looking slightly guilty. "Nothing"
"You're up to something."
"No I'm not!"
"Yes you are. You have that look."
"What look?" She asked attempting to look innocent.
"That look that both you and Harper had before creating the wormhole. So answer the question, What-are-you-up-to?"
Tugging on an ear, Fever tried to look pitiful as she asked, "Do you think that they'd let me use one of their labs to play in?"
Giving her an uncompromising look, "No. And even if they did, I wouldn't allow it."
Crossing her arms, she sulked. "You're no fun!"
"If you are bored, you can always work out with me."
"That's not how I envision getting hot and sweaty." She answered mulishly.
Rhade looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow right back at him.
"You're not allowed top get hot and sweaty in the way you implied."
"Says you!"
"Says your commanding officer while we are on this mission."
"What mission? And you're not my boss." She shot back.
"While we are on this planet, I am responsible for your safety, and our interaction diplomatically with these people. So therefore I am in charge and you will do as I say."
For once she kept her mouth shut as she glared up at him, and didn't tell him where he could stick his orders.
Later with Daniel Jackson in one of the research areas, she said desperately "I have to get out of here! I'm suffocating. All my intelligence is oozing out of me! I'll never be smarter than Harper if I stay here. The military autocracy is sucking it all out at night when I sleep aren't they? They need fresh brains don't they?"
Daniel looked at her in alarm as she sat on a stool hyperventilating, holding a priceless thousands of years old piece of history. He carefully took the artifact out of her shaking hands and asked matter of factly, "Coburn let you watch 'Puppet masters' aka 'The Pod People' didn't he? I thought you understood the concept of fiction? And how Hollywood doesn't know how to tell the truth."
"Just because you have not seen these things widely, doesn't make it not so! I think that this Hollywood is brilliant far getting these ideas out and not get eliminated in the process." Fever continued dramatically.
Daniel looked at her puzzled for a moment. "You do realize that Hollywood is a place, not a person don't you?"
"I thought it was a person the way that everyone talks about him." She said distractedly as she looked at an air vent in the wall. "But that is unimportant right now. I'm concerned about me right now. I have to go for a walk, I need to measure the hallways."
"You need to measure the hallways?" Daniel repeated, thrown by her leaps in logic.
"Yes, to make sure that the walls aren't moving in. They seem to be smaller to me. It's making me claustrophobic that they move."
"Fever, you live on a space ship. How can you be claustrophobic? Agoraphobic I can believe. Claustrophobic, no."
Looking at him as if he was a child, she continued, "I'm still going to measure the hallways, just to be sure. Do you want to help?"
"No. No I don't, I've work to do." Daniel answered, irritated by her look.
At that moment Coburn came in tossing a small statue from hand to hand. "Hey Doc, we found this near the gate on EG89A. Looked old to us, so we thought that you might like to examine it."
Daniel started toward him in alarm. "Please don't do that with the artifacts!"
Coburn smirked at him as he began to toss the statue in the air, and asked innocently, "Do what?"
"THAT! Tossing and throwing around! Most of these pieces are irreplaceable! Now please get out of my workroom before you break something!" Daniel said pompously as he grabbed the statue out of the air in front of Coburn. "In fact, why don't you go help Fever measure the hallways?" He continued, cradling the statue to his chest.
"Measure the hallways? Why is she doing that?"
"She's convinced that they are moving and getting smaller."
Coburn looked at her, and rubbed the five-day shadow on his chin. "You know, I sometimes think they do that too."
"Well, there you are. You can both satisfy your intellects that they are not getting smaller. Now GO! I have work to do."
Hooking an arm on her shoulders, Coburn steered her out of the workroom. "Come on kiddo, I know what will make you feel better. Let's go find Rhade so you can torment him."
Sighing, she leaned into him, placing her arms around his waist as they walked. "Nah. He keeps scraping his bone blades on the wall. That sound can get really grating."
"Hum, it does sounds irksome. How about video games? Movies?"
"Nah." She answered dispiritedly.
"What do you do when you're bored back on the Andromeda?"
"Play in the labs or machine shops. But they won't let me do that here. Rhade doesn't even want me to either. In fact he says when we get back that he's going to ban me from the Andromeda's also."
Coburn looked around, trying to think of something encouraging to say, even though he agreed with the SGC's and Rhade's ban. "I'm sure that you'll think of someway around that….Or something else will catch your attention." He stuttered to a stop thinking how equally bad both ideas were.
"You know, you're right. I'm smarter than Rhade, I can find away around this." Smiling up at Coburn brightly, she asked sweetly. "So, how about giving me a tour of the base?"
"I thought you had one already?"
"I did. But now I want you to give me one."
"Awfully demanding aren't you? I just got back from a mission. I haven't shit, showered or shaved yet. And I still have to write a report for the general."
"Oh come on." She said tugging on his arm. "You don't smell that bad. And just tell the general that you're showing me around and he won't be bothered. I'll even help you write you're report." She added generously.
"I thought that you didn't write or read English?"
"I don't. But I have been working on a Common program to translate for me. Or I could write it in Ancient or Japanese. Daniel has been teaching me those, and they are easy."
"Only you would call Ancient and Japanese easy." Coburn grimaced "And this would help me how? The general doesn't read Ancient or Japanese." He continued.
"Well, he could get Daniel to translate for him. That is his job isn't it?" She asked laughing infectiously.
Coburn couldn't help laughing with her. Still, he also couldn't help thinking she had ulterior motives.
She did have ulterior motives. She had just thought of a way to get off base possibly.
All she needed to do now was back track through the base and recheck security measures. i.e. camera angles, patrols, how many, how long etc.etc. But like she said, she was smarter than Rhade and also smaller. Which would come in handy if her plan worked.
Looking down at Fever, Coburn said, "Too bad you can't leave the base. You have the perfect Halloween costume already."
"Halloween? What is that?"
"Oh, it's a holiday for kids around here."
"A holiday like that Christmas day, where a fat man in red gets stuck in the chimney trying to deliver expensive toy products, and ugly gremlin creatures attack everyone?"
Smirking, Coburn said, "Kind of. Except that it's the children who dress in scary costumes and go door to door saying 'Trick or Treat'. If the person doesn't have candy to hand out, the kids pull tricks on them some what along the lines of criminal mischief."
She looked up at him with dreams of sugar highs dancing in her head. "Oh, people give you candy? Scary costumes? Criminal mischief? Sounds like my kind of holiday."
Coburn just laughed at her and gave her a hug.
Suddenly a sound like nails on a chalkboard sounded. Both Coburn and Fever gritted their teeth. She shivered her body against Coburn as the sound went on.
Coburn pressed a hand against his ear and popped his jaw. "I see what you mean about a grating noise."
"Am I interrupting something?" Rhade asked disapprovingly.
Coburn quickly stepped away, suddenly becoming aware of the inappropriateness of their closeness by Teal'q's raised eyebrows. He hastily said, "I'm glad that you enjoyed your tour. I'll leave you because I have to write a report for the general now."
"Are you ready to go to dinner Fever?" Rhade asked sternly.
"Spoilsport!" She huffed as she fell into step with them.
"Do you remember what I told you earlier?" Rhade asked sharply.
She shrugged, "Rhade I don't listen to half of what you say most of the time." She looked sideways at them, then stopped and snickered.
"What?" He asked exasperated.
"Did you know that you and Teal'q are almost identical?"
"Excuse me?" He asked scandalized.
"Is it a guy thing? Or a military thing? I'm kind of curious."
Teal'q and Rhade stared at her and then each other incomprehensively.
Teal'q said slowly as if to a simple child, "Are you hallucinating? Rhade and I do not resemble each other."
"You may look different, but you have the same movements and same expression boys." She walked past them, still snickering.
They watched her pass, hands clasped behind their backs, eyebrows raised.
Pushing her food around her plate, she looked at in disgust. Grimacing, she pushed away from the table. "I think I'll go to bed now."
Everyone stopped and looked at her. Sam finally asked, "Are you feeling well Fever?"
"Uh yeah, just not very hungry."
Cutting his food precisely, Rhade said, "You need more nutrition than you take in Fever. Contrary to your beliefs, sugar, caffeine, fat and energy bars don't make a balanced diet. And even though the food is barely palatable, it does provide all of your nutritional needs."
Now everyone looked at Rhade.
"Barely palatable?" Jack asked incredulously.
"I've got to admit from the viewpoint of someone who actually cooks some meals instead of using the microwave like you sir. The food is kind of unpalatable sir." Sam said as she looked at Jack. "Even if it does provide for all the nutritional needs." She continued.
"Everything does taste like chicken sir. Rubber chicken that is." Daniel added.
Jack looked at Teal'q and asked acidly, "Do you care to add anything while we're on the subject?"
"No. I believe that everything has already been said." Teal'q said with a small smile.
Rhade looked at the others as he swallowed, and then said, "Fever can't cook. When she isn't eating energy bars or inhaling caffeine, she makes sandwiches or eats from the auto chef. She has a simple palate."
"Hey I resent that!" She said indignantly. "I've eaten at nice restaurants!"
"And you chose your meals by something called eeny, meeny, miny, moe." Rhade said smugly. "And you still don't know how to cook."
"What does cooking have to do with palate?" She asked loftily.
"It helps to appreciate what you're eating."
"You don't know how to cook?" Daniel asked teasingly. "Maybe that's what I'll teach you next. We'll start with boiling water." He laughed at the dirty expression she threw him.
"Who needs to cook? There's usually an auto chef around somewhere." She snapped grumpily.
Sam leaned over and patted her hand. "It's okay, lots of people don't know how to cook. Look at the general. He's gotten through most of his life without learning how to cook. If Murphy's didn't serve take out, he'd have starved to death long ago."
"Hey, I resent that!" Jack said indignantly.