Prologue : Death
Trigger warning : mentions of death, please read at your own discretion.
Death is final, I don't believe in the afterlife, be it heaven, hell or reincarnation. When u die your whole being just... disappears , or at least that's what I used to think.
Considering my situation right now, as an infant depending on another in all things but breathing, my opinion about death has changed quite a bit.
Considering the traumatic experience of dying, then being reborn while retaining all of my memories from my past life, it's easy to see that I'm not too happy about my situation.
Granted, I wasn't the happiest person on Earth, but I had a life, a family, a future and it was all taken away from me that day.
It was a cold September night and I had gone to get my little sister medicine for her cough.
It wasn't even 8 pm, not late enough for a lone 20 year old woman to fear getting mugged in a familiar neighborhood and certainty not late enough to be kidnapped, killed and thrown in a dumpster.
Yes, the way I died was not pleasant. At all.
Then again life was not kind, so why should death be ?
What's done is done, my existence with the living came to an end and I was left in an endless void, mind blank, no senses, just... emptiness.
I thought I would stay in that dark for all eternity, and if I had, I wouldn't have minded it much, sure I couldn't feel anything, I was numb, but being numb meant that I couldn't feel alone or lonely nor could I feel sad or happy.
I was merely a memory of something that was, I didn't know if I existed in the void or I was simply a part of it, I didn't know if I existed at all. After all how can you know you exist when you couldn't breath, see, touch, feel ?
The answer is : You can't.
And I found comfort in that, no matter how messed up it sounds.
But that non existence unexpectedly came to an end one day. It was the day I was reborn.