My Regrets

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Author's Note-Let's make this author's note quick so you can read on XD I think it would be appropriate to say that this is going to be in Ayame's POV (Unless said otherwise, plus the flashbacks aren't in 1st person). Well, I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer- I do not own Fruits Basket. Natsuki Takaya does. Plus, I only own Volumes 1-10 (I feel so empty, considering in Japan and other countries, there are going to be 17 Volumes.) I have to wait a year or so before I see those (starts crying hysterically)

"Miine! Could you go in the back and get this gentleman's maid uniform he ordered, please? There should be only one back there," I said to my assistant as she rushed, happily, to the back room. I sighed and looked around my shop. It was full of costumers today; more then I was use to, that is.

Miine came back with a traditional maid's uniform, much like the one Shigure got from me for poor young Tohru-kun, wrapped up in a plastic bag to keep any dust and dirt off.

"Here you go, sir!" she said, handing it to him. "I hope your wife or girlfriend enjoys it!"

"Yeah," the guy said, looking at the uniform. "I'll…I-I mean...She'll…love it, I'm sure. Er, thank you." He quickly rushed out of the shop, leaving Miine with a puzzled look.

'Ah, look at all these wonderful fantasies!' I thought, smiling. I then heard the phone ring from the backroom, and went to go get it. With caution, I moved across the room, which was littered with wrapping paper and fabric. I should probably clean up a little bit before I leave. The phone entered my line of vision and I quickly picked it up.

"Hello," I said in my joy-filled voice. "This is Ayame! Would you like me to tell you about the sales we are having? It's only this weeken-"

"Aaya," the voice on the other line said before I could finish. I instantly knew who it was, however his voice did sound unusually serious today. Hopefully everything was alright…

"Gure-san! Hello!" I said, trying to keep my voice cheerful, though something deep inside told me I was about to receive terrible news. "What is the occasion of which you have called me about?"

"I just got a call," he said, his voice a bit shaky. "There was an accident."

"What happened?" I asked, though it was barely audible. "What kind of accident? Who'd it happen to?" So many questions were now swimming inside my head, drowning all my rational thoughts and suffocating me as I started to slowly sink to the depth of my imaginary ocean. However, now it started to feel as if it was going to burst from frustration.

"A car accident," Shigure said, still in a shaky voice. I never heard him speak like this before, it was almost unnerving. "Yuki…he was walking home from school after his school counsel meeting …and in the rain, considering this amount of it…the driver of the car…he couldn't see clearly." My mind started to spin. Or was it the room…? Everything was flooding me, and I felt so trapped.

"I'll be right there," I said in a whisper, though loud enough for Shigure to hear. I grabbed my coat and ran out to the front, the phone hanging insignificantly from its cord.

"Miine, I have to go," I said clearly, though my voice was about to disappear completely soon. I could tell that Miine caught a glimpse of my face, which now had a single tear running down my cheek. She didn't question my sudden need to leave the shop, and I was very grateful; she knew it was important for me not to explain in full detail, as I would usually have in any other event. I quickly pulled on my coat and pushed open the door, only barely hearing the bell above it ring.

Shigure was right; it was pouring rain out. It didn't matter now, though; I needed to get to my brother. I ran to the train station, which was luckily only a few blocks away from my shop.

After paying for a ticket, I reached the earliest train to Tokyo, where my family usually went if our injuries were too serious for Tori-san to take care of. I took a seat in the back as the train started moving, and looked at my watch.

'It's been 10 minutes already,' I thought, my heart beating slightly faster then before. 'I have to get there soon.'

All I could do now was wait for the train to get in the closest station, then I could rush a few more blocks to the hospital.

"Thirty minutes," I said to myself, and leaned back in the seat. All I could think about was Yuki's condition. I forgot to ask Shigure how he was; if he was awake; if he was even alive…

I shook my head at the thought. 'What kind of thing is that to think of? He has to be alive, I'd feel something if he wasn't…right?'

"No, no, Shigure would have told me right away if he had died, I know he would," I said aloud, trying to comfort and relax myself as I rubbed my temple with my index finger. Finally, I was able to breathe right, and think clearly.

I started to think back on the last time I saw Yuki. It was only yesterday, and of course, like always, we didn't exactly 'bond'.

"Why, Aaya! What a pleasant surprise," Shigure said cheerfully as he opened the door of his home. Ayame came in with a wide smile and laughed.

"Hello 'Gure-san! I haven't seen you in such a long while, I decided it was time for a nice little visit!" he said as he followed Shigure into the living room. "I hope you haven't cheated on me; I'd be so devastated!"

"Of course I haven't, my darling Aaya!" Shigure said with a little gleam in his eyes. They turned to each other, gave a thumb up, and said their usual 'Alright!'

"It's only morning and you're already here?" Kyo said as he walked into the room with a yawn. "You better not be staying the night."

"No, no, not tonight. But please, do not cry over it, little Kyonkichi!" Ayame said dramatically. Before Kyo could yell out a threat, Yuki lazily come in with a yawn. He saw Ayame in the middle of the room, blinked, and turned around to head back towards his room. However, Ayame quickly floated over to his younger brother and dragged him back.

"Why, my darling little brother! You've gotten so much taller since I last saw you!" Ayame said, getting Yuki locked in a tight hug.

"That was only a week ago; it wasn't that long. And get off me!" Yuki squeezed out of Ayame's grasp. "Why are you here anyways? Haven't we gotten enough of you already?" Ayame looked a little hurt at the comment, but quickly disguised it with a heartfelt laugh. After all, Yuki wasn't a morning person, anyways.

"Of course not! Is it so wrong to see my little brother?" he pretended to sniff and ball his eyes out. Yuki rolled his own eyes and got up for the kitchen.

"I'm going to help Honda-san with the breakfast," he muttered.

"Cranky little kid in the morning, isn't he?" Shigure said with a smile as Yuki disappeared into the kitchen. He excused himself and went to his room to quickly finish up his novel for his editor…for once. Ayame also excused himself to go and help Yuki and Tohru with breakfast, hoping to get in some brother bonding time. However, he stopped outside of the kitchen when he heard his name.

"So Ayame-san's here?" one voice said cheerfully; it was definitely Tohru's. "I'm glad! He hasn't been around lately." Yuki grumbled.

"I'm not looking forward to today," he said with a sigh. "I just wish he was more like this years ago, not now. It's a little annoying how he tries to be the 'perfect brother'."

"He cares about you, though," Tohru said. "He wants to help you out, and make sure you're alright."

"Yeah, well, I needed more of that 10 years ago then I do now," Yuki muttered. Ayame quietly stepped away from the door and back into the living room. Kyo watched him come in with a pale, almost devastated look.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Ayame sat silently for a few seconds before looking at Kyo with a small, forced smile.

"Nothing's wrong, Kyonkichi! You don't need to worry about me, even if you cannot help it!" he replied. However, soon after, he fell silent again and stared at the floor.

'I didn't think he hated me that much,' Ayame thought sadly. 'I guess I don't blame him…I really never was there for him when he was younger; When he needed me the most. Well, I'm glad he's better now, even though he doesn't need me anymore."

I shook my head at the events that happened the previous day. More then anything, Yuki needed me now, and I was definitely going to be there. The train stopped at a station to let people off, and let others on. I looked at my watch for the umpteenth time, hoping that my stop would be coming up. However, I found that I still had twenty more minutes to spend on the cold train.

'Suspense is never fun,' I thought bitterly as I watched the buildings go by when the train started up again.

3rd person

-

"As I've told you before, Mr. Sohma, you cannot see your cousin yet. He is still in surgery, and I'm not sure when he'll be out!" the nurse said with annoyance. Shigure sighed loudly and went back to take a seat with his other cousins and Tohru, who was staring off into space, almost heartbreakingly. Hatori, Haru, Momiji, Kisa, Kagura, and even Kyo and Hiro, were all there, as well, waiting for an update on Yuki's condition. They looked at him, hoping that Yuki was alright and that they could see him, but Shigure shook his head sadly.

"Calm down, Shigure," Hatori, who was sitting next to him, said. He was oddly calm himself, but though he didn't show it, he was definitely concerned for his younger cousin. "He's only been in surgery for almost an hour. It could take two, even four, more hours before it's over."

"You're a doctor, Ha'ri, do you think he'll be alright?" Momiji asked sadly. He had never been at a hospital before, and the stale smell was now starting bugging him. Momiji just couldn't bare the thought of someone staying here, especially Yuki.

"Well, I'm not quite sure what condition he's in, so I can't give you even a guess," Hatori said with a small sigh. He looked at the rabbit and saw his eyes sadden. "Don't worry, though. For all we know, it could be just a...broken arm, or something less critical like that." Momiji slowly nodded.

"Where's Ayame?" Hatori turned to ask Shigure.

"I'm not sure. I called him not more than thirty minutes ago," he replied. "I hope he was able to catch the train."

"If he doesn't get here in another thirty minutes, we should try calling him again. He really might have missed the train, and he doesn't have any other transportation; especially in this weather," Hatori said, and he crossed his arms.

"I wonder how he's doing," Shigure asked silently. Hatori wondered the same thing himself as he watched the rain fall rapidly to the ground.

(Ayame's POV)

My eyes hadn't left the view from outside as the train whizzed by trees and buildings. I let out a sigh and finally tore my eyes away from the scenery and onto my watch. Although it seemed like I would reach the station at any second, the fact remains that I still had another ten more minutes before I could get off. My stomach was so uneasy that it felt as if I would just throw up right then and there on the train at any second. I looked at my watch again, hoping that the time would have magically sped up, though I knew it wouldn't, no matter how much I wanted it to.

'I wonder how everyone else is doing with…' I was unable to continue my thoughts of the main subject. The whole situation was extremely nerve-racking, that it almost seemed to have made my brain get off the subject by force. Not that I would protest; it was hard to think that something so horrible had happened to my younger brother. I didn't even know what kind of condition he was in, and that made the whole thing even worse.

However, what I did know was that I wasn't the only one with this intense amount of fear within me. Tohru-kun would surely be just as worried as I was, considering she was so close to Yuki. In fact, they're going out, at least for a month by now. It took a while to get my dearest brother to admit it to me. Of course, words or not, it was obvious that they were together.

-

Ayame sat at the table with Shigure and gave a wide smile. He was on one of his many visits to Shigure's house that day, considering he hadn't been there for a while.

"Gure-san, have you ever considered getting yourself a girlfriend?" Ayame asked, rather randomly, complete seriousness invading his normal deportment. Shigure had even splattered out some of the tea that he was about to swallow.

"What are you going on about?" the dog asked, wiping himself clean of the warm drink on his kimono. "How is that relevant to anything?"

"I was just thinking, that's all," Ayame said, still smiling. "It actually would be a bit interesting for you to have one." Shigure raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Alright, alright, I want to know something…is Yuki and the Princess together?" To some degree, he felt uncertain about asking, even considering that he loved to pry in to other's lives (most being Yuki's). He had a sense of forbidding overcome him after he asked.

"The Princess…? Oh, you mean Tohru-kun," Shigure said, then gave an indifferent shrug. "I wouldn't know. They somehow got the idea that telling me anything of that subject would cause me to say something perverted. I haven't a clue where they got that idea from."

Ayame gave a nod and started to take a sip of his tea when he saw two figures in the corner of his eye. He turned his head and slightly leaned back to clearly see who the figures were, and what they were doing. Through the opened sliding door, he saw Yuki and Tohru with bags in their hands, obviously filled with groceries, talking and even laughing. Ayame found himself smile when he saw this, as he had never seen Yuki so happy before.

"Aaya?" Shigure voice brought Ayame back to face the dog. "What is so interesting that it got you to smile like that?" He got up and followed Ayame's gaze right outside. The dog snickered to himself and sat next to Ayame, obviously enjoying the scene. Sometimes even Ayame wondered why Shigure hadn't been locked up yet.

Just as Ayame was about to return to a normal seating position, being that he felt like he shouldn't be watching the scene, he saw Yuki lean forward and kiss Tohru on the lips. He could tell that both were blushing at the action, but what really got him was what he thought he heard Yuki say, even though he couldn't hear anything but mumbles, being that they were whispering. Shigure, too, noticed, and smiled mischievously.

"Finally," he said with a small laugh. "It took long enough for Yuki-kun to tell Tohru-kun that he loved her." Ayame gave a heartfelt laugh, knowing very well that this would help Yuki become happy. His laugh subsided when the two finally came inside to put the bags away. Ayame, after giving a wink to Shigure, got up and pretended to loll around to where Yuki and Tohru were. He instead found only his brother, and Ayame guessed that Tohru had slipped by his keen eye sight and went into another room.

"Hello little brother!" Ayame almost yelled in a joyful voice. Yuki slightly jumped at the sudden presence of his older brother, and then gave an aggravated sigh. The rat decided it was best to just ignore Ayame and continue putting away what he and Tohru got from the store. "Now, now, there's no compelling need to pretend I'm not here. Though, if you still see it fit to not speak to me, I could tell you about the time I was almost late for class one sunny morning--"

"No!" Yuki said loudly, turning around so fast that he almost knocked over a can of food. The last thing he needed on this already-stressful day was for his brother to jabber on about something that was, more than likely, inappropriate and stupid. However, Ayame smiled at the sudden outburst of his younger brother.

"I see, I see!" he said with a gleam in his eye. "Maybe another time, then. Actually, I'd rather talk about something else. You're growing up now, and there will be some changes…" Before Ayame could continue, Yuki quickly shook his head.

"Whatever you're about to say, I'd keep it to yourself," he said as his eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm well educated about these health-related issues, thank you."

"Ah, well then, you won't mind me asking how you and the Princess are getting along, hm?" Ayame asked, as if this kind of conversation was a daily part of life with Yuki and him. There was a stale silence as Yuki's left eye started to faintly twitch at the question. However, it couldn't helped but to be noticed that a sort of 'relief' spread throughout Yuki's face, as though he had expected Ayame to be talking about something other than relationships.

"We're getting along just fine," Yuki finally replied in a calm manner, turning his attention back to the last remaining items on the counter.

"Ah, young love blossoms," Ayame said quietly, more so to himself. However, Yuki did, in fact, hear exactly what was said, and threw a dish towel straight at Ayame, who had expected this and ducked out of the way in time. "Then I am not wrong? Good, good! You know, I'm very good at giving advice, so there's no need to hesitate about asking me a question your young mind might not know the answer to."

"No. Thanks," Yuki muttered, and Ayame could see that his cheeks were bright red.

"Well, there's one thing I'd like to say, actually," Ayame said and put a hand over Yuki's mouth, just as he was about to protest on Ayame saying anything at all. "It's not much, but it's the best advice I can give right now. Don't let him find out." Yuki stopped trying to pry Ayame's hand from his mouth and became deathly still at the mention of the Head of the Sohma family. The snake removed his hand, now assured that his younger brother wouldn't shout for him to shut up.

The seriousness that was now on Yuki's face made even Ayame a little worried about him and Tohru's relationship. It all reminded him of Hatori and Kana; he was close to Akito, and Kana was an 'outsider'. He knew how Hatori was after he had to erase her memories of him, and Ayame just didn't want the same thing to happen to Yuki as it did with his best friend.

"Of course I won't let him find out," Yuki finally said, staring right up at Ayame. "I won't let him do anything to her, no matter what. But… thanks…for the warning." Ayame's eyes slightly widened at the tone of Yuki's voice. It wasn't filled with usual annoyance, but instead it was filled with gratitude. It was something he wasn't used to hearing, especially from Yuki.

The younger boy had now turned back to the counter to finish putting away the rest of the groceries, presumably ignoring his older brother's presence once more. Taking the opportunity, Ayame dropped the serious look on his face and gave a gleeful smile.

"So you are going out with little Tohru-kun! How sweet!" Yuki turned around, his face full of anger, and even slight embarrassment, as he picked up a pot and threw it right at his older brother, who wasn't expected something to come flying at him this time. The pot collided with Ayame's forehead, knocking him to the floor, but the smile on his face only grew bigger, as did the mark the pot left on him. "I see! I see! You threw this pot at me to show how much you love your older brother! But you know, Yuki, that's not a very healthy way to show someone you care about them."

"Shut up!"

-

Before I could contain it, I let out a laugh at the memory. The pot gave me a good sized bump on the head for weeks. It actually was still there, but not as big and painful as before. However, what I liked about that memory was the fact that Yuki was happy. I've never seen him that happy before. It even made me became delighted for him. There was, in any case, the fact that if they weren't careful, Akito would find out about them, and that would surely end horribly. All I wanted was for my brother to be happy, and Tohru makes him just that. She cured him of all the emptiness and loneliness he felt before he met her, and if they weren't meant for each other, then I would know that the world had gone completely insane.

Letting out a sigh, I looked at my watch, almost hopefully. When I saw that only three minutes had gone by, I had a strong urge to chuck the timer out the window.

'If I had a car I would have been at the hospital by now,' I thought irritably. I was starting to grow more impatient by the second now that I tried to get my mind on other things. Like my hands; they was shaking slightly, I noticed, as were my legs; even my breath was uneven. I took a look out the window, but the rain on the glass made it almost impossible to see anything clearly, thus making it harder for me to think of something a bit more cheerful.

But who was I kidding? How could I get my mind off of knowing my brother was in the hospital, and I was on a slow train, unable to see or help him?

I watched as the rain clattered on the window, some of the drops slowly rolling down the glass at an angle by the wind. A single drop of liquid joined the others, though not outside of the train, but on my paling face. I felt the tear slide down my cheek and onto my hand, which was shaking more than ever. All I could think about was Yuki in a hospital bed, hurting on both the outside and inside. I thought about the solemn looks on all my cousin's faces, also waiting for Yuki's condition.

And I thought about how there was nothing I could do.

-

Author's Note: I have come to the conclusion that the spell check on my computer is utter crap. It says I spelled something wrong when I know for a fact that I didn't, and it says I used a sentence fragment when I surely didn't. So sorry if anything's off, I reread this and tried to get anything.

There will be one more chapter in this story. However, there could be a 3rd, if the 2nd gets too long. And I'm sorry if going to Tokyo seems… weird… but what if the Sohma injuries were so bad that they needed more help? And Tokyo was the only Japanese city I know by heart XD;;. Oh, and I want to point out… everyone (mainly Haru) keeps telling Yuki to call Tohru by her name, and not Honda-san. But in Volume 1, at the bottom of page 80,he called her Tohru… huumm.. well, I hoped you liked this chapter! I'll try to have the 2nd one up soon (around a week)!