Good Enough
By MsBigBad
Chapter 4: The City Of Angel
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or any of the characters from the show. They belong to UPN, FOX, Mutant Enemy, and the wonderfully talented Joss Wheedon whom I love and adore! I'm just using them for some entertainment cause I'm an obsessed freak! Any original characters belong to me and may not be used w/o my permission. (I'd be happy to let you borrow but please no stealing!) Series title belongs to Sarah Mc Glaghlan, and is used w/o permission." Amazing" is by Aerosmith and is used w/o permission. Any quotes and/or poems will be disclaimed in the text. Flashbacks are in italics.
Ships: Spike/Buffy, Xander/Anya, Willow/Tara, Wesley/Cordelia, Gunn/Fred, Clem/Lorne, and Connor/Dawn.
Spoilers: Through "Seeing Red" on Buffy and " " on Angel.
Summary: After overhearing a prophecy concerning the chosen one, Spike decides to return to Sunnydale leaving Africa and the 15 years he's spent there behind.
Note: From the time of "Seeing Red" and " " this story is A/U. Which means there was no death of Tara, No nicely boxed Angel at the bottom of the ocean, no vainy Willow, and absolutely no flaying of Warren! If you want to know what has replaced that part I suggest you read my timeline.
Feedback: Please! I'd love to know what you think! You can reach me at .
Thanks: I want to thank my best friend Lauren for always believing in me and for giving me this little obsession! You are what keeps me alive! I've never had such a good friend that I could laugh and cry with till it hurt! And of course have long LOTR discussions and kinky fantasies of parts (he, he, he!) of the fellowship. You know what I mean I need to stop now cause then they'll be reading this for too long to even think about reading the story! I want to also thank my other friend Heather for wanting to read my stuff and for making me laugh enough to forget some of the angst in my stories! To everyone who archives/reviews my fics! I'm soo grateful for all you've done! Of course I need to thank Joss and his crew of talented writers, producers, directors, actors, and special behind the scenes guys! Thank you guys so much for the 2 best TV shows ever in existence! Really wanna thank James Marsters for being my snowman! (Don't worry if you don't get that! It's a seriously disturbing inside joke!) I love James! Good luck in everything that you do. And I really wanna thank you for reading my fic! Especially if you read through all this nonsense and bonus points if you actually pondered the snowman thing! (Seriously just let it go! It'll drive you insane and your head will explode! Yuck!) Lot's of luvs! Enjoy! Mwahhh!
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for all the desperate hearts tonight
"What do you want Spike?" Angel says, venom flowing through every word.
He holds Spike a few feet above the ground, hand grasped tightly around a throat that needs no air.
He might have a soul now, but that doesn't mean he's a slave to it. Angel is still the most hated thing in his world after himself.
"Don't get cute with me Angelus! I'm looking for Buffy. Blonde hair about yay tall! I figured as you are her great love and all you'd know where I could find her."
"Haven't heard from her in years. And even if I had I wouldn't tell you."
A tall green demon with red pan-like horns steps through the main entrance of the Hyperion. He looks exhausted.
"Oh, Angel cakes! There you are! Could you be a doll and fix me a sea breeze? With the day I've had I'll need it!" He says, collapsing on the round chair in the middle of the lobby.
He finally notices Spike right in the middle of rubbing his temples.
He stand and looks at him, giving him a top to bottom stare down.
"Well hello! Aren't you handsome!" He says appreciating the ripped muscles that Spike's skin tight black tee give away.
What is it with me? Spike wondered. Do I give off some kind of vibe?
"Honey ! You give off many vibes! You and Angel-muffin here have got that appeals to all sexes thing going down pretty good!"
"Hey! I would never go down on Angel!!… Well except for that once an that was a long ti…Wait a… How did you?"
"He's an impath demon, he can see people's future's when they sing or hum like you were that Sex Pistols song. And by the way are you ever gonna get out of this whole punk Billy Idol wannabe phase?" Angel informs him.
"Hey! It's not a phase and for the millionth time Billy sodding Idol stole my look!."
"Ehh whatever. Here you go." He says, handing Lorne his drink and slamming Spike up against the wall again. " Now where were we?"
"Uh, thanks but no thanks this is horrible ! Who taught you how to make a sea breeze?" Lorne gags, holding the offending liquor in front of him for Angel to refix.
"I'm kinda in the middle of something here!" Angel gripes.
Lorne pouts at Angel and he almost gives in to his tired friends plea that is until he sees the look of utter amusement on Spike's face.
"What?" He asks innocently.
Spike flashes his now scarcely revealed smirk. "I knew it! Said it all along! I knew you were a poofter!"
"What! No! I'm not, not…" Angel fumbles. "Not a.. a um poofter!"
Spike laughs at Angel's uncertainty and is soon dropped to his feet like a dirty towel.
"This is Lorne. He works with me." Angel explains with one hand on Lorne's shoulder then quickly taking it away so it doesn't seem like a caress.
"Right!" Spike snickers.
"I am not gay!" Angel insists.
"Yeah yeah. I', sure all your friends call you by pastry pet names! What was it again Angel muffin? Listen, I don't want to know your sexual preferences. Could really care less. Like I said I need to find Buffy. So could you tell me where the damned Slayer is already?" Spike gripes.
"Fuck off Spike."
That one last shot's a permanent vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell what tomorrow brings
"I have to find her. It's important. The address I got was wrong. Some old woman with like 50 cats lives there now."
"Why's it so important? You gonna try to rape her again?"
Spike is visibly tense. "She told you?"
'No. Dawn told … she told Conner."
"Who the hell's that?"
Spike is again up against the wall.
"He was my son!" Angel supplies in anger before storming up the stairs. "If you know what's good for you you'll leave." He says, not turning around.
"Oh, don't mind him! He's just been a little different since… well since…" Lorne starts.
"Angel has a son? How is that even possible?" Spike asks, confused now more than ever.
"The powers work in strange ways."
"So, any good places to eat around here?" Clem asks setting down more suitcases than a man should ever pack.
Lorne looks at the obviously not gay demon and chooses to disregard the excessive packing as any sign of homosexuality. They were probably full of beer. He is dressed too much like a fisherman/plumber to be gay. Damn the luck! Ahh Kurumba He needs that sea breeze and Angel cakes is too busy brooding to get it for him. See if he ever listens to him sing "Mandy" again. You'd think he'd pick a different song every once in a while. Maybe he'll go up to his room and play some Judy. He makes his way to the mini bar and mixes his poison. Then he takes the bottle in hand and gestures to Spike to sit down.
"You guys can stay here. Angel won't mind. Well, he will, but he'll get over it eventually. Uh, you need anything just sing… I mean ring."
"Thanks!" Clem answers to Spike, who seems to be in deep thought.
Lorne nods and carries his tired body up the stairs and collapses onto his bed.
Spike makes his way behind the front desk and into Angel's office. He rummages through drawers and bookshelves looking for something.
"What are you doing?" Clem asks Spike with an undertone of annoyance rather than confusion.
"What does it look like?" Spike smarts.
"It looks like you're gonna get us killed. That Angel guy almost ripped your head off!"
"Only cause I let 'em. An' if you were so worried about my welfare why didn't you do something instead of hanging back in the doorway like that?"
""Right like I could take him or you for that matter." Clem reasons.
"Seriously! I could kick his ass any day!"
"Angel?" A female voice calls from the lobby.
Cordelia soon appears at the doorway of Angel's office and is horrified to find Spike sitting on the edge of the desk, a fleshy demon munching snack foods behind him.
"Hey! Those are mine!" She says grabbing the low fat chocolate mocha crunch cookies out of Clem's hands.
"Sorry!" Clem promptly apologizes, afraid of the brunette's wrath.
"Spike, what are you doing here? I thought you'd left the California and hopefully this planet!" Cordelia goes on with her rant.
"Nice to see you too! I'm shackin' up here with your beloved leader for a few nights….. In separate rooms not you know together. The point is I have to find Buffy."
"Boy did you come to the wrong place!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Spike wonders out loud.
"It means that Buffy and Angel and their forbidden love affair… Totally Over!
They're both kinda blaming each other for their losses. And let me tell you their losses are worth a hell of a lot more than a couple million dollars and some mulit-billion dollar company. They've lost almost everything."
"I know."
"Was that somberness? From you? For Angel? Okay what the hell are you up to?" Cordelia accuses, amazed at the change in him.
"Nothing, I was talking about Dawn." He assures her of his motives.
"You're sad about Dawn. Well she sure wasn't sad about you! Talk about someone hating you! She had Angel beat!"
"Had good reason to I guess."
"You hurt her a lot. She wouldn't ever tell us, but I'm sure she told Conner."
"Listen pet. I've got to go. I'll be back later if anyone asks or cares. Clem you stay here and get all your junk sorted out." Spike says pretty grumpily pushing past the brunette and grabbing his cigarettes from the minibar along with a few bottles of jack.
You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
Bit I just couldn't listen to all that righteous talk
She hated him.
Living with that guilt was gonna be hell.
He hurt her.
He'd really hurt her.
She'd died hating him.
There's something about him that draws him to cemeteries. The air is cool and the moon is high. He's never seen her grave. Never seen her name scratched out on cold stone. His fingers trace the epitaph.
"And thou art dead, as young and fair
As aught of mortal birth;
And form so soft, and charms so rare,
Too soon returned to earth."
Beloved Sister, Lover, and Friend
1987-2005
The liquor is starting to effect him. He no longer lets his demon out. He's very much human, and his feelings of humanity and everything that comes with are starting to consume him.
He remembers a time when she called him her best friend. Her brother even.
Not anymore.
She would never call him any of those things again.
She'd never hold his hand or give him a hug.
She'd never cry on his shoulder.
She couldn't do any of these things.
She was dead.
And even through death he was sure she hated him.
He'd let her down.
He'd promised to stay.
He lied.
He lost her.
"This is starting to become a pattern with you." Clem muses.
"I told you to unpack. You're supposed to be at the hotel."
"Last time I checked we were friends, not man and bitch, but if you wanna change that!"
No smile graces his face and his eyes never leave the marble slab of his lost friend.
"I let them down Clem. The both of them. I was supposed to protect them. Always be there. I was supposed to be different. I failed."
"No, you didn't." Clem assures him, shaking his head.
"How do you figure?"
"You loved the. You tried that's what matters. I know why you went to Africa. I could smell it on you since you walked into my door. You got your soul… for her. So, why didn't you come back?"
"Thought about it. But… when it came right down to it? I don't think it would have changed her mind. I'm not Angel. When I came back she wouldn't have welcome me back with open arms, but she wouldn't of staked me either. Knew if I came back. If I was that close to 'er. I wouldn't have been able to bear it. Buffy, you can't just be her friend. Every person she meets falls in love with 'er and I'm just a face in the crowd. Victim number one million and one."
"Well come on, Angel's out. He left to patrol so I guess you have a few hours to rummage around in his office,"
"What about Cordelia and Angel's demon friend?"
"She went to some fancy restaurant with her boyfriend and I think Lorne's asleep. He was pretty slammed when he went back upstairs."
"Shall we then?" Spike grins evilly.
I was out on the street
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay
Alive
"Spike? Here?"
"Uh-huh." She said, applying her lipstick for the millionth time that hour.
"Well what does he want?"
She looked skeptically at him.
"Oh, right, stupid of me. He wants Buffy." Wes realized.
"Big duh! He says he needs to find her. He made it sound urgent, but we all know urgent for Spike is whenever he gets an erection. So I couldn't really tell what he meant. Is the food ever gonna get here?" She complains.
"They are being a bit delayed aren't they?"
She laughs at him. "You've been away from the motherland for how long now? You still sound like a new arrival!"
"Sorry!" He blushes. "Does it bother you?"
"No, quite the contrary. I'm actually rather turned on by your sophistication!" Cordelia replies putting her acting abilities to work, sporting a perfect british accent.
"Really?" He teases grabbing at her leg under the table.
"Wesley!" She scolds (or at least tries to) as he moves his hand to her inner thigh and his mouth nibbles her ear.
The pimply teenager places two mega burgers in front of the middle aged lovers and quickly walks away saying something to his co-worker about shielding his eyes from the old people having sex in booth 9.
"Huh! Old! Who are you calling old!" Cordy yells back at him.
No address book anywhere. Nothing. He'd been looking for a straight hour.
Wait a minute... Something was wrong with this panel, it's hollow. He takes out his trusty pocket knife and pries the floor up. Inside a metal tin shines back at him. This has to have something worth while in it. He pulls it out of the hole and dusts it off. His eyes linger on the pad lock. Wouldn't be too much of a problem, well except for the fact that footsteps were coming from outside of the building moving closer and closer to the door. There is no way he can go back into the lobby without someone seeing him. He searches for any escape route possible.
"Stealing from my dad?" Conner asks coolly.
"No." Spike replies quickly.
"It's okay. That's what I was gonna do." Conner assures him stuffing a few pens into his bag.
"You're Conner right?" Spike asks curiously.
"Yeah, or at least that's what he called me."
"There's a lot of past tense there. You guys don't talk anymore?"
"Nope." Conner says non- chalantly spinning the dial to the safe and grabbing a few hundred dollars.
"He talks about you like you're dead."
"Listen I've gotta…" He gestures to the door. "You should too. He'll be home soon. See you later?"
"Felloe Angel hater? You bet." Spike grins.
"Oh, and the key to that box you're holding, it's here." He says touching two fingers to a book on the mantle before making his exit.
Spike pulls the small green book from it's place and read s the title on the thick spine.
"The Poets of Ireland Whata ya know the poof can read!"
He flips the book open and takes out a silver key that looks like it should fit. He quickly places everything back as it'd been and carries the bed to what he's made his room for the time being. He can hear Angel coming in downstairs. He's talking to someone or maybe it's just himself He wouldn't put it past Peaches to go all skitzo. No that voice… it was defiantly female. It was defiantly…
"Buffy?"
They're shouting at each other. The love that used to radiate off them in waves is gone. Hatred has replaced every positive thing about them.
"We're not going through this again Angel! You haven't cared for the last 3 years. Why start now!" She wails slamming the patio door so hard that the glass shatters.
Spike hears Angel climb the stairs and slam the door to his room.
"Time to go." He whispers, jumping down from the balcony to the filthy Los Angeles street.
It's amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for all the desperate hearts tonight
Continued in Chapter 5 "Fine"
A/N: Sorry it took so long guys! Hope you like the story so far! Thanks to everyone who is supporting this fic and to everyone who has reviewed it!