After dinner they walked along the beach. It was a typical California night, clear and warm. She smiled as the breeze danced around her shoulders. They sat down near some trees and he presented her with a small box wrapped elegantly with a single gold bow. She smiled at him and took it.
She grinned at him as she tore off the wrapping paper, she had never been one to shake it or try to preserve the paper. Inside was a charm bracelet. Michelle smiled, it was lovely but not something she would ever pick out for herself. But Bill had gone to all this effort so she grinned at him as she put it on.
"What's this in aid of?" She asked staring at the bracelet on her arm. It looked garish next to the rest of her simple jewellery.
"You forgot." He said quietly, his voice reflected his disappointment but not he did not sound surprised. She looked up at him, wracking her brains for possibilities.
"Our three month." She almost whispered. Yes, it had completely slipped her mind. Guilt overcame her as she looked from the bracelet on her arm back up at his face.
"I'm so sorry," she gushed, "I guess I've been so distracted by work I just…"
"Forgot." He finished for her. She looked him dead in the eye.
"Didn't remember." She offered instead. His face softened at that.
"Do you like it?" he asked her.
"It's perfect." She lied, another pang of guilt forming in her chest. "I'm so sorry"
"Its fine." He said slipping his arm around her, "Really, it doesn't matter."
"No it does Bill, I just…"
"Michelle" he interrupted her, "I don't mind. Honestly." He smiled at her though his eyes did not reflect the smile.
"Maybe you should." She said before she could stop herself. He looked at her sharply.
"What do you mean?" he asked, confusion spreading across his features.
"Maybe you should mind." She repeated and before she could prevent it month's worth of frustration started to pour out of her. "I forgot Bill, I completely forgot. And you did all this for me, you planned it all and I couldn't even remember one stupid little anniversary! Aren't you even a little bit angry? Do you ever get angry? Do you ever get anything except calm?"
Her outburst hung there for what seemed like an eternity. She couldn't take it back. She hadn't really meant what she said, if she was honest she liked that Bill was calm and collected, it made a difference from her relationship with Tony. That was fire and passion and pain. If she was very honest, it wasn't Bill she should be directing this anger at, at all. Rather she should have been shouting at her alcoholic, newly ex husband. Bill was staring out into the ocean, he looked hurt. She sighed.
"I'm sorry Bill, I didn't mean that."
He turned to her and smiled a sad smile. "I'm never going to be who you want me to be, am I?" It was a statement more than a question. Michelle felt her heart sink. She started to say something but he cut her off.
"I'm never going to be him Michelle. It's not in my nature. I'm not irrational, I don't go against protocol to help out a rogue agent or risk the country's safety for…" He stopped at that. "If you want me to be him… I can't do that for you."
She felt tears streaming down her face. Half of her wanted to hit him and the other half felt guilty.
"I don't," she almost whispered, "It's just hard for me sometimes."
He smiled at that. "Michelle, I think the world of you. You know that. More than anything, I want you to be happy," he turned to her, "I want to make you happy. And I know this isn't easy, it's not for me either, but I want to make it work."
"I do too," She agreed quietly.
"And I know that it may take time, but I'm willing to give you as long as you need. Until whenever you're ready to give me your heart." He said genuinely.
It was something in those last words that hit Michelle like a ten ton truck. All of a sudden everything became clear to her. She'd been running, running from the truth, running from her feelings, running from him. At that minute she realised that it was time to stop running. She turned to face Bill, the tears still falling, and smiled.
"It's not mine to give." She said simply. She had given her heart away along time ago. It belonged to the man with the eyes as deep as the ocean, with the smile that made her melt and the touch that made her shiver. Bill nodded at that.
"It's still enough for me." He said after a moment, although his voice suggested otherwise.
"It's not for me." She replied.
"I know." He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "I've always known."
He stood up then and smoothed down his trousers.
"Would you like a lift?" he asked and she shook her head.
"No. Thank you" She said sincerely. He simply nodded and leaned down to kiss the top of her head before walking back up the beach towards his car.
Michelle sat for a few moments more before getting up and walking out to the road. She hailed a taxi that took her to North Hollywood. That took her to him. The man with the eyes as deep as the ocean, with the smile that made her melt and the touch that made her shiver.