Road Rage

Chapter fifteen

Hospital

Billie and Deaq spent the next four hours in agony waiting for any news on Van who had been taken to the operating room in order to relieve the pressure on his brain and in an attempt to save his leg. Billie spend the time staring out of the small window not really seeing anything, while Deaq spent his time pacing back and forth in the small room eventually going out into the hall to pace there. They hardly spoke to each other, each wrapped up in their own thoughts. Occasionally one of them would go to the coffee machine and bring back coffee for both of them, which was then drunk in silence. Both of them wished the doctor would come out and give them some news on Van's condition but each secretly dreaded what that news might be.

Finally the doctor entered the waiting room.

"I really can't tell you too much but we're trying to be as optimistic as possible. I'll give you a rundown of his injuries …" The doctor opened his chart. "He has two cracked ribs, which he was very lucky didn't snap and puncture his lung. He had a small tear on his stomach which we have stitched, and a hairline fracture of his hip. As I told you our main concern are his head and leg injuries. We cleaned and treated his leg the best we could but…there's still the possibility it might have to be amputated. It's just a matter of wait and see how he responds to treatment. The head injury…well…that also is a matter of wait and see. Head injuries are always unpredictable. There didn't appear to be any major damage as far as we could tell from the x-rays and other tests we took. He also had a strong hallucinogenic drug in his system. It appears to be a form of PCP. We're washing that out of his system and that shouldn't cause any long lasting problems" He looked back and forth between them. "Are there any questions?"

"No, not at the moment." Billie said then looked over at Deaq.

"No…" He said softly as he tried to take in everything the doctor had said.

"We'll be moving him up to recovery, then to the ICU for a few days. Once he's in ICU I'll leave word with the nurse that you both be allowed in to see him. Maybe if he hears a familiar voice it might bring him around, the sooner he wakes up the better."

"Thanks doc." Billie and Deaq both said in unison.

After the doctor left Billie pulled Deaq into a hug.

"He's going to be fine Deaq. I just know it. He's young, strong…He's going to pull through this, you'll see."

"I pray that you're right Billie… I can't lose him Billie."

"I know Deaq, neither can I."

Four hours later

Van was eventually taken out of recovery and placed in the Intensive Care Unit. A respirator pumped air into his lungs, IVs and drainage tubes ran in and out of his body. His damaged leg hung from a sling attached to the ceiling. Both Billie and Deaq took turns sitting by his side, talking to him, trying to pull him out of unconsciousness. They knew that the longer Van remained unconscious the easier it would be for him to slip into a coma. Billie glanced at Deaq, she was worried about him. They both loved Van, but Van was Deaq's partner, and partners were closer then friends. You relied on your partner, he became a part of you. And she knew either one of them would take a bullet to protect the other. If Van didn't make it, it would break her heart, but it would kill Deaq. He had lost a brother and to lose his partner so soon after his brother was killed would destroy him. Looking back and forth between them she gave a small smile remembering their first few weeks together. Neither one allowing themselves to get close to the other but slowly they had. And now she couldn't think of two closer partners. Oh they still fought, and sometimes fists flew, but they were partners in the truest sense of the word. She swallowed hard as she watched Deaq as he stood by his partner's bed, his hand gripping Van's, talking to him, begging him to wake up. She could see the exhaustion on Deaq's face as she put her hand on his shoulder.

"Deaq, you need to go home, get some rest."

"I can't Billie." His eyes welled up with tears. "I'm scared Billie…I'm scared that if I leave he won't be here when I get back."

Billie blinked back tears, her heart breaking for both of them.

"I'll stay with him Deaq. He won't be alone." She said gently.

"Thanks Billie but…I really need to be here with him…"

She knew there was no use trying to talk him into leaving. There was no way Deaq was going to leave his partner.

Three days later

The days past slowly and Van's condition remained the same. The doctor didn't say much as he examined him daily. He just shook his head when asked if there were any signs of improvement. Finally Billie had to return to work, as much as she wanted to stay with Deaq she knew she had a department to run. She cleared it with the department that Deaq be allowed to take time off to stay with his partner; she knew he would have stayed anyway with or without their permission, even if it meant getting fired. She had other officers who could fill in for them temporarily. She told him to contact her immediately if there were any changes in Van's condition. After Billie left Deaq pulled a chair next to Van's bed and sat down. He stuck his hand through the bars on the bed and picked up Van's hand.

"Come on partner you got to wake up, you slept long enough." He squeezed Van's hand hoping for a response, but there wasn't any. "Hey, you and me we got things to do partner, Billie's counting on us. She needs us Van. We got us a case lined up as soon as you're well enough. I know you Van, I know you don't want to miss all the action. You live for this job Van and if you don't get your ass out of bed soon… Billie's going to have to reassign our cases to someone else. Now I know you don't want that. She told me she's going to have to assign a new partner to me if you don't wake up soon, she has no other choice. I don't want that…You're my partner Van, no one else."

/ Van felt like he was standing in a closed closet full of cob webs. Beyond the door he could hear Billie and Deaq talking to him but he couldn't answer them. But it comforted him to know they were there with him. He could feel himself being pulled in two directions. One wanted to go to Billie and Deaq and the other wanted to stay where he was. At least here there wasn't any pain. /

Two days later

Deaq was sleeping on the chair in Van's room when the doctor walked in. He opened his eyes and watched as the doctor looked in Van's eyes then examined his leg and wrote something in his chart.

"Any changes Doc?" Deaq asked pulling himself up.

"His leg isn't healing the way we would like it to. I'm worried that we might have to amputate if things don't turn around."

Deaq had noticed that the color in Van's foot hadn't been returning to normal but had a gray appearance to it. He had prayed that it didn't mean anything, but now hearing the doctor, he shut his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. He then looked over at the doctor.

"Why isn't he coming around?"

"I really don't know. The blood clot appears to have completely disappeared and as far as we can tell there isn't any noticeable brain damage but we won't know for certain until he wakes up."

"It's been five days already … Isn't there something you can do?"

The doctor shook his head.

"No, it's all up to him. We've done everything we can. Some people just take longer to come back from a traumatic experience. He's been through a lot and his mind could be protecting his body from the pain."

Deaq swallowed the lump in his throat before asking the question he dreaded.

"What if he doesn't wake up?"

"Well…then he'll be turned over to a nursing home. There's nothing more we can do for him here…I'm sorry but we need the room."

"What about his leg?"

"His leg might have to come off to save his life, but you have to ask yourself what kind of life would we be saving? He might remain in a coma for the rest of his life... we just don't know. We'll give it a few days, then we're going to have to make a decision." The doctor patted Deaq on the back as he was leaving.

Deaq knew what the decision would be. If Van wasn't going to wake up why bother amputating his leg. Wouldn't it be kinder to just let the infection do its job and end his life? He knew his partner wouldn't want to live like this, and who would have to make the decision if they couldn't get in touch with his family? If it was up to him he didn't know if he could. He stood up and looked down at Van angry now that he or Billie might be the one who would have to decide.

"Damn it Van! Don't make me be the one to decide!" The thought that he might be the one to tell them to let his partner die or take his leg was ripping him apart inside. He couldn't even imagine having to make that decision, but he knew it wouldn't be fair to Billie to make her do it alone. "Damn you partner, don't do this to me!" He wiped angrily at the tears that started to run down his face.

/ Van could hear the worry and anger in Deaq's voice. Why's he mad at me? What did I do? He couldn't imagine why Deaq's voice had such an angry tone to it. What had he done to get him so angry? He had to know. He had to find out why Deaq was mad. He tried with every ounce of strength he had to say something to Deaq. He pushed aside the cobwebs and fought his way back. /

Deaq's eyes widened as Van's fingers moved and he moaned.

"That's it partner. Fight your way back." He grabbed Van's hand.

"Ohhhhhhhhh." Van moaned as his eye lids fluttered as he tried to open them.

"Come on Van! You can do it partner! Let me see them green eyes of yours."

"D…Deaq?"

"Yeah buddy! I'm here!"

Van's eyes slowly opened and it took a while before his partner's face came into focus. When it did, he gave him a weak smile.

"What…what's going on?...What …what are you so mad about?...What did I do?..." It was hard for him to speak but he managed to croak out the words. His mouth was so dry it felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

Deaq burst out laughing. He felt like the world had just been lifted from his shoulder.

"Nothing partner, you didn't do nothing wrong." Deaq said as he reached for a button on the bed and pressed it to summon a nurse.

A nurse quickly appeared.

"He's awake. Get the doctor."

She smiled at him knowing the agony he had gone through day after day as he sat beside his partner's bed talking to him, hoping to bring him around. She hoped now finally the wait was over. She quickly turned and hurried off to find the doctor.

Van slowly raised his hand to his head and winced in pain.

"What happened?"

"You were in an accident. Don't you remember?"

"An accident? I…I don't remember…" He grimaced in pain as he tried to push himself up on the bed.

"Do you know me? Do you know who I am?" Deaq hoped Van's earlier confusion had finally cleared up.

Van looked at Deaq like he was crazy.

"Yeah of course I know you…Why are you asking?"

Deaq smiled down at his partner.

"It's a long story partner. When you're feeling better I'll tell you the whole thing."

Van once more tried to push himself up and cried out in pain when he moved his injured leg.

"Oh God does that hurt." He moaned as he reached over and touched his leg which still hung in the sling.

"You have a pretty nasty cut… plus a bullet wound."

"Bullet wound?"

"Yeah, like I said it's a long story." Deaq stepped away from the bed as the doctor came in.

The doctor quickly examined Van. When he was done he smiled down at him.

"Glad to see you decided to join us."

"Thanks… Can I have some water?" Van had never felt this thirsty before.

"Sure. But just take small sips." The doctor took a glass of water off the table next to Van's bed and held it for him.

"Thanks." As he leaned back he once more put his hand on the top of his leg. "Can you…can you give me something for the pain? My leg is killing me."

Deaq looked at the doctor, his face etched with worry. The look wasn't missed by Van.

"What's the matter?" Van looked back and forth between both Deaq and the doctor.

"Your leg…well it was pretty badly damaged."

"Yeah…so…"

Deaq grabbed the doctor's arm and shook his head slightly, hoping to stop him from saying anything more to Van.

"What's going on?" Van asked, once more trying to push himself up on the bed but only succeeded in causing himself more pain. Deaq gently put his hands on Van's shoulders and held him down.

"We can talk when you're feeling better." The doctor said.

"If there is something you need to tell me I want to know now."

"You've been in a coma for the last five days. I really think you need to concentrate on getting better, then we'll discuss your leg."

"I want to know now. What's wrong with my leg?" He knew it was going to be bad news but he needed to know.

"You came in with a very bad infection in your leg. We're doing everything in our power to treat it but…"

Deaq shut his eyes and turned his head. He couldn't bear to see the look on Van's face when he found out his leg might have to be amputated.

When Van saw Deaq turn away his heart started pounding, he knew something was seriously wrong.

"But what?"

"If we can't control the infection we might have to … amputate."

Van's eyes widened and his mouth dropped slightly open.

"Amputate!" His head sunk back into the pillow. "You can't cut off my leg! How am I suppose to work? … What … what if I refuse?"

"If it comes down to the need for amputation and you refuse…you could die." The doctor decided it was best to come right out and tell him. "I'm sorry, but I'm very busy right now and have another patient I need to see. If there is anything I can do please let me know." He put his hand on Deaq's shoulder before leaving the room.

Deaq gripped the side rail of the bed as he looked down at Van who was staring at the wall in disbelief.

"I'm sorry partner. I didn't want him to tell you. Not like this, not till you were feeling better."

"What am I going to do Deaq? I can't be a cop if I can't walk."

"It hasn't come down to that yet. Maybe it won't. You got to think positive Van. You got to think that everything will be okay and you won't lose your leg."

Van reached out between the bars and grabbed Deaq's arm.

"You got to promise me something partner. You got to promise me you won't let them take my leg. Please… don't let them take my leg." Van's voice cracked with emotion.

"Van if it's between losing your leg or your life…"

"Deaq, my job is my life. I lose my leg…my life is over."

No one saw that Billie had entered the room a few seconds earlier.

"No it's not Van. We'll pray it doesn't come to that but if it does…then hell with your leg. We're not going to sit back and watch you die Van."

"Billie…" Van blinked back tears.

"Van you can still be a cop without your leg." She interrupted him.

"How Billie?...Oh you mean sitting behind some desk…I can't do that Billie, you know I can't do that."

"There are other things you can do Van. Your life is more important then your leg."

"Billie there's nothing else I want to do… I'm a cop Billie… with the work I do I have to be fast on my feet. How the hell am I going to do that with one leg!" Van's eyes welled up with tears as he looked over at Deaq. "You're my partner Deaq…I'm begging you, don't let them take my leg."

"Van…" Deaq shook his head sadly. He knew it was a promise he couldn't make. If it came down to losing Van because of his leg he knew he would let them take the leg.

"Deaq please!" Van tried to push himself up again but only succeeded in causing himself more pain. He pressed his head back into the pillow and cried out in agony.

TBC