"We make war that we may live in peace."
-- Aristotle (384-322 BC), Greek philosopher
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Chapter 39
Before The Storm
The four Thurin Tirith had returned to where the others waited and told them the situation had been handled and the 15 soldiers would no longer pose a threat – to anyone or for any reason. Aragorn had then sent volunteers to destroy the tunnels near the entrances so that if anybody were to find the outside entrances, they would not be able to enter the tunnels. While this fact meant that the slaves coming to help prepare for the revolt had to travel a bit further to enter by the one remaining entrance, they knew it was worth the trouble. The bodies of the 13 soldiers had all been put in the pit with the two soldiers already there then loads of rocks had been put in after them.
The Wainrider soldiers had been casualties of war and though all 15 men had lost their lives while trying to find an elusive, phantom enemy at the orders of another, it was inevitably an event that had to happen. Respect was given to the dead, a moment of silence was observed, then the volunteer workers had turned and walked away.
Anayah was resting as comfortably as was possible under the circumstances and while nobody was hovering, everyone was keeping a watchful eye on her. She had understood the consequences of her actions when she had gone to challenge Ostara - she would not be fit for a prolonged open-field battle and this thought lay heavy on her heart. The only thing that made that knowledge bearable was that she and everybody else knew that the cohesive force behind the Wainrider military had been weakened substantially which had given them a chance - slim though it might be - to have a positive outcome when "Freedom Day" finally came.
Aragorn was still troubled by his bruised hip though he tried to hide it from everybody. Unfortunately, on the few occasions when it pained him to the point where he caught himself limping, he always caught his sister looking at him. The two of them knew that it was important for him to maintain a strong leadership presence with the slaves for they were relying on him for guidance and encouragement. Where Ostara had been the cohesive force for the Wainriders, so Aragorn was for the slaves. Anayah knew this and so, held her peace.
Legolas remained faithfully by his side, ever supportive and always ready with thoughts and ideas when Aragorn was too tired to think of his own. As Mirkwood's Prince, Legolas had well developed leadership skills and often acted as liaison between Aragorn and the others. He was the perfect "Second-in-Command."
Every one of them knew that the time for the revolt to begin was fast approaching. Though there was no doubt in anyone's mind that there would be losses, they also knew that even in death they would have attained the freedom they would never have had if they had done nothing at all. There was not one slave in the entire city of Hoth that was not more than willing to pay the ultimate price.
Fear ... yes there was that, but nobody dwelled on it overmuch for they knew that fear could eat away at the spirit if it was fed too well.
And so, another day found them working hard, making their weapons and learning how to use and maintain them. Aragorn was resting - sitting on a barrel and drinking a cup of tea – when Legolas came to stand at his side. They both enjoyed the companionable silence that only came with a comfortable friendship. Neither felt the need to fill the gap with idle words for each other's company was quite enough.
"We're just about ready." Legolas said at last.
Aragorn nodded his head as he took another sip of his tea.
"I think so."
Legolas glanced at Aragorn, for he had sensed that his friend's mind was unsettled about something.
"You are troubled?"
Aragorn did not look at his friend and remained silent for a time. Legolas did not push the issue for he knew that Aragorn would tell him what was in his heart when he felt the need. Finally, after some moments of silence, he sighed then turned to the Prince.
"I just don't know if I am doing the right thing, Legolas. Many of these people here right now, so eager and full of hope for a future, won't have a future - they will be dead at the end of all this - and the responsibility for their deaths will be mine."
He looked at the elf standing beside him.
"Am I doing the right thing?"
Legolas thought about what his friend had just said to him and searched his heart for the right words for his reply.
"I think all leaders have had the same doubts and have asked the same questions that you are having and are asking right now, Estel. Whether it is as Chieftain of the Dúnedain or whatever other role that will come to you one day, you will lead your people into battle and some of them will die. Yes, there will be deaths for these people as well but these people already know this and have accepted that fact and are willing to go forward nonetheless. I cannot tell you what you should feel or how you should feel, for that is something you will learn with time and through personal experience. All I can tell you is that with each experience, you will learn and grow - as an individual and as a leader."
You are not one of the mighty Valar to these people, Estel. You are their leader, another human just like them who can bleed just like them. Lead them righteously and everything else will fall into place."
Aragorn nodded then smiled at his friend, thankful once again that he had the privilege of having a friend such as the Mirkwood Prince.
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"Halgar?"
Halgar jumped when the old man spoke for he had been concentrating on taking inventory of the medical supplies and had not heard him approach. He spun around with a hand over his madly beating heart then Tathrin laid an apologetic and comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder.
"My apologies, Halgar. I did not mean to startle you."
"The fault is mine, Tathrin, for as many years as I have spent being alert to my surroundings for my own safety's sake, you would think the skill would not have waned - especially in light of our present circumstances."
As he relaxed and his frantic heartbeat slowed, he once more stood upright and faced the man.
"How may I assist you, Tathrin?"
The old man shifted his feet back and forth, suddenly uneasy. Halgar frowned yet remained silent.
"I have always considered myself a realist, Halgar. I know that if I work hard and apply myself diligently then I will live another day and will always have bread and meat on my table – that is realistic thinking. However, something has happened to me since Aglarion and I came here that I cannot explain by the realistic means by which I have always lived my life."
Tathrin paused as he looked down at the cloth wrapped parcel in his hands then glanced at Halgar nervously.
"I hope you don't think me a fool for what I am about to tell you, for it is not my intention to try and convince you that I have lost my mind."
Halgar pulled up an empty crate and helped Tathrin sit.
"Please continue, Tathrin."
Tathrin nodded as if he had finally decided that it was right to share his thoughts with the young man.
"I've been having dreams."
"What kind of dreams?"
The older man looked around the two of them to make sure nobody was within earshot before he continued.
"It's a simple dream, really. I see this thing - a tree - and I feel compelled to recreate it. I have been having this dream every time I go to sleep and the intensity has frightened me but when I started to carve what I had been compelled to by my dream, a feeling of peace came over me and the intensity of the dreams lessened."
He looked at Halgar.
"I am a carpenter by trade and have made my living carving furniture and other things that people use in their homes. I have always been comfortable with my job, if you want to call it that, but this last project has given me the greatest sense of fulfillment that I have ever had - it is almost like I have lived my whole life for this one moment."
He handled the parcel to Halgar.
"This parcel is for you. I don't know how I know it should be, just that it is."
Halgar unwrapped the cloth from around the object Tathrin had given him then tears sprang to his eyes when he saw what the simple package contained. Lovingly and almost tenderly, he ran his hand over the simple yet elegant carving, admiring the fine details and workmanship. When he tried to thank Tathrin, he found that his emotions had stolen his voice and so taking Tathrin by his arm, he walked the man into the sleeping cavern and to his sleeping pallet where his few possessions lay. Almost tenderly he took another cloth-wrapped article and unwrapped it, revealing the Elendilmir in all its stunning beauty. He handed the great jewel to Tathrin while he opened the lid of the beautifully carved box.
"I want you to have the honor of putting this inside its new home for you have earned that right through hard and honest labor."
After the jewel was put inside the box and Halgar had once more closed the lid, he finally explained.
"When the Elendilmir was taken, its home, if you will, the ornately carved box it had been kept in for millennia, was taken and lost somewhere. The carving on the lid of the box was of a tree." He paused as he ran his hand over the tree on the top of the box he held in his hands. "The tree on the box, Tathrin, was a duplicate of the one you saw in your dream and which you have so painstakingly duplicated."
"What is this tree that has dominated my dreams for so long?"
"It is the white tree of Gondor and is the symbol of the royal house. How or why you were given the task to carve this box is unknown to me but I am sure that he who wore the crown last is grateful for what you have done."
Halgar considered his next words carefully.
"Tathrin, if you and I still live when this is all over, I would very much like to offer you the hospitality of my small village and would consider it a great honor if you would make it your home."
Tathrin had tears in his eyes and his breath hitched.
"I would like that very much, Halgar."
"And of course young Aglarion is welcome as well."
The old man's heart was full and he felt hope blossoming in it once more.
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Greyfell had been sitting on his sleeping pallet, fletching arrows and watching over Anayah as she slept. When she would stir restlessly he would reach over and brush his fingers lightly down the side of her face until she quieted and slipped back into a deeper sleep.
He had had a chance to do a lot of thinking since he had been staying in the cavern and was once more doubting whether he had made the right choice in deciding to try to live among the elves. He frowned at his thoughts, knowing that they were not honest thoughts for the truth was that he was uncomfortable around everybody and didn't understand the reason why this was so.
He had been studying the different relationships he saw around him to better understand the dynamics of how and why things worked. Estel and Legolas - he could tell that there was a deep and abiding friendship between the two and that they thought of each other as brothers in both adversity as well as in better times.
The twins he understood to a point for even though they often acted like elflings, their enthusiasm for life was something that couldn't be ignored by anyone in their vicinity. Aside from that, he sensed their noble natures which could only come from great hearts. He sensed their sadness as well but knew better than to pry.
He understood The Thurin Tirith the least out of all the beings he had met. The sense of power that emanated from each of them was a true indication of just how lethal they could be. He also sensed that they were capable of gentleness, a trait he had often seen them display, especially when they were near Anayah. Greyfell knew, for a fact, that their relationship with their Charge ran deeper than duty, that the term brother and sister, when it was used, truly applied. He also knew that any one of the four would defend her to the death and not just out of duty but because they cared for her as an individual, just as she cared for them.
He understood all of these things and what they implied – to a point. What he didn't understand was where he fit in and was beginning to wonder if it had once more been a mistake to even try. But he couldn't leave - something kept him here – he just didn't know what that something was.
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From where he was working fletching his own arrows, Rahan could well read the confusion on the elf's face and the Captain could make a pretty accurate guess as to the source of the elf's confusion. He made a mental note to talk to Anayah about it when she felt a little better.
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It was late in the afternoon before Anayah woke. She blinked several times to clear the blurriness from her eyes then looked at the elf sitting next to her sleeping pallet fletching arrows.
"You're not Greyfell." She said quietly.
Rahan chuckled then laid his work down for a moment then felt her forehead with the back of his fingers.
"No, I am not and for that I heartily apologize. How are you feeling?"
She moved her shoulders then bit back a moan.
"I'll be up and running by this evening."
Rahan just shook his head and after handing Anayah's water flask to her so she could drink, sat back so he could consider his next words carefully.
"Your friend, Greyfell, seems to be a little uncomfortable."
Anayah frowned.
"What has happened? Has he said something?"
"No - and I think that is part of the problem. I have not seen him talking to anybody except for an occasional word with Tathrin and Aglarion, nor have I seen him doing much else other than sitting on this pallet fletching arrows and grooming the donkeys and Elias."
Anayah nodded then sighed.
"Damn, Rahan. I wish I felt better, for I should have kept a closer eye on him."
"How so?"
"This is the first time in millennia – probably the first time ever in his life – that he has had anything close to what might be considered a positive experience with elves or even halfway normal human beings – if you can call my crazy family normal. I just don't think he knows how to interact although I believe in my heart that if we can just get him started, he will be intelligent enough to take it from there. Until I have a chance to talk to him, Rahan, I want you to make sure he is included in life around here - will you do that for me?"
"Aye, I can do that and I do agree with your assessment of the situation as well. Greyfell seems to be a decent enough elf and you are probably right about him not knowing how to act around us for until this time all he has had a chance to be - to experiece - is life as a slave, a mercenary and a soldier for Sauron's twin sister."
"Rahan!" Anayah said as she laughed.
Rahan chuckled then inclined his head. "I apologize – even though I know I'm right. I will see that he is included in our preparations as well as in more mundane happenings. I also want to mention that you should probably speak to your brother about his health for even though he might be loathe to talk about it, I believe that his hip is still bothering him."
It was Anayah's turn to frown.
"I wish I was a bit healthier, Rahan, for it seems that many important things have been neglected around here."
Both elves looked up as Aragorn approached them with fresh bandages and a cup of tea in his hands. Anayah groaned for she disliked the fact that her brother seemed to be doing his best to get her to sleep her life away. Aragorn smiled at the two of them then as he sat himself down beside Anayah, Rahan got up and prepared to leave, saying that he had to go check on his elves.
Aragorn started to change Anayah's bandages, noting as he did that the wound across the back of her shoulders was healing nicely. He also noticed that his sister was unusually quiet which was usually an indication that she had something on her mind.
"Your thoughts, sister?"
Anayah looked back over her shoulder at her brother as he finished rebandaging her back then turned so she could face him.
"Aragorn, I have been doing some thinking about Greyfell."
"And?" He smiled at her, encouraging her to continue.
"Just some random thoughts here, brother – I was wondering if you think Greyfell might make a good Ranger? After all, his mother was one of the Dúnedain and although the skills he does have were not always put to a "good" use, they are still good Ranger skills and he does have a good heart as well. What do you think?"
Aragorn sighed.
"I have been thinking about the same thing although I do believe that we might propose that he consider spending some time at Imladris first, for there are things in his life that he might want to come to terms with before he considers what he wants to do next. Ada would be just the one he needs to counsel him in these matters. Greyfell is a wounded being, Anayah, wounded by life, but wounded none-the-less and a period of healing and peace would be good for him. I think he has to learn to be an elf again and Imladris is just where that can happen. After this is over and if we all still grace this life then I will have a talk with him."
He picked up the teacup and handed it to Anayah who took it and drank it without complaint, smiling at the vanilla flavoring she tasted in it. Her brother winked at her.
"There is another matter I needed to discuss with you."
"Go ahead, brother, for you have a captive listener!"
"I need your counsel in this." He paused a moment to gather his thoughts. "I don't believe Greyfell is fit enough to fight when the battle begins and I also believe it would be emotionally difficult for him to fight against those he has worked with for so long." He looked up at Anayah.
"No! Aragorn, I don't need a babysitter! No way! Please - don't humiliate me like this. It's bad enough that I won't be able to fight at your side but it will be even worse to know that I have to have someone babysitting me. No. Absolutely not."
She stopped when she noticed her brother looking at her with a twinkle in his eye.
"Are you finished?"
She blushed.
"Sorry. Go ahead and finish. I promise I won't interrupt you again."
Aragorn shook his head.
"As I was saying before you got so excited – I want to give Greyfell an "out" if you will, so he doesn't have to fight against those he has worked with. I know he is an able soldier and I don't want him feeling insulted or demeaned, I just think that if he sat this one out that it might be easier on him. What is your counsel on this?"
"I guess I did react a little quickly on this one - sorry."
Aragorn nodded his head in acceptance of her apology.
"I think you are correct in your thinking as well as your motivation for having him sit this one out, Estel, and he might even feel relieved although there is one favor I would ask of you."
"And that is?"
"I ask that you let me propose this to him because I think he trusts me enough to listen to me without feeling offended."
"Then if that is so, I will leave this task up to you."
He saw that her eyes were trying to close and gathered his healing supplies as well as the empty tea cup then stood to leave.
"I want you to get some rest, Anayah. I will check on you later."
"When are you going to quit making me sleep all the time, Estel?" She asked tiredly.
Aragorn smiled at her.
"When you start sleeping with your eyes open."
A growl was the only response he got as her eyes slipped shut and she fell asleep.
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Anayah found herself standing at the edge of the forest looking toward Hoth - or where Hoth should have been. Nothing lay before her - no homes, Palace, tents, slave barracks - nothing. The landscape was barren. She frowned, thinking that she was perhaps looking in the wrong direction but as she turned in a complete circle, she saw everything else as it was supposed to be. Hoth had just disappeared. She began to walk forward, noticing as she did so that nothing got any closer, she seemed to be standing at the edge of the forest even though her feet were in motion. Then just when she realized that she was dreaming she heard someone call her name from afar.
Her eyes came open and she saw Greyfell sitting beside her, looking at her worriedly. She sighed.
"I was dreaming."
He nodded his head.
"Yes you were. I don't know what your dream was about but you seemed to be disturbed by it."
Though she was in pain, she schooled her expression carefully lest her friend see it, realize she was in pain and call her brother which would mean another tea and more sleep. She didn't want to sleep - and she didn't want to dream because there was something about her dream that made her extremely sad.
"Anayah?"
She looked up at Greyfell who was looking at her with a concerned expression on his face then reached out and patted his hands.
"I'm fine. I'm just having a bit of a difficult time waking up."
Greyfell sensed that it would not have been appropriate to ask Anayah about her dream so he thought of another question.
"Tell me about Imladris - tell me about your home."
He knew he had picked a good topic when he saw her smile at the mere mention of the place.
"Imladris – what can I say? It is a safe harbor, a place of peace, and a place where beings can go to rest and heal. There are beautiful gardens where the scents of flowers act as a restful balm that soothes the spirit and the waterfalls of the Bruinen invigorates the senses. There is a beauty in that place that cannot be duplicated. You will love it there, Greyfell.
"I think I should very much like to visit your home."
Anayah reached out and touched his hand.
"You would love it there, Greyfell, just as I know that you will love my father."
"Your father?"
"My foster-father actually, although I think of him as my father. He is peredhel just like you and I, was born before the first age and is the wisest being that I have ever known. There is much wisdom and sound counsel that he can share with you and can take a lot of the mystery and confusion out of your self-discovery."
"Will you be there?"
"When my duties allow it, yes."
She could see that the elf was troubled.
"What is it that troubles you, Greyfell?"
"Is it that obvious?"
"I'm afraid so. Now tell me what it is that is eating at your spirit."
The elf looked down at his hands for a time before finally meeting Anayah's gaze.
"Anayah, I just don't think I'm fitting in here."
"And why would you think that?"
"That's just it - I don't know. And it is the not knowing that is confusing me."
"Lack of previous experience."
"I'm sorry?"
"Lack of previous experience. You have nothing on which to base the experiences you are having now. I do not mean to offend, but you are like an elfling that is meeting other elflings for the first time. You don't know what to expect, you don't know how to handle yourself and don't know what others expect of you. I can assure you that you are doing fine although I do have a favor to ask of you."
"Anything, Anayah. You have but to ask."
"Estel and I were talking earlier and he mentioned that he doesn't feel you should have to fight those you worked with for so long – whether you liked them or not. I tend to agree with him on this one and believe it could be very distracting for you and could endanger your life. Now, while Estel suggested that we blame it on your own healing injuries, I propose that we lay it all right out there so we can both see it for what it is. Will you stay with me on the day of battle to keep me company and protect me in case there is need?"
When he continued to stare at his hands, Anayah became concerned and more so when he finally looked at her with misty eyes.
"Greyfell, I'm sorry, for it was not my intention, nor Estel's, to offend you. The two of us were just trying to consider your feelings - we did not mean to insult or demean you.
"No. No. You didn't offend me, Anayah. I am acting like an elfling because ..." He looked around to make sure nobody was listening. "I am this way because this is actually the first time that someone has actually taken the pains to consider my feelings."
Anayah looked at the elf for a moment then burst out laughing, wincing as that act made her pull on her healing back muscles. After a time, when she had settled herself down, she reached out, threw her arms around Greyfell's neck, and hugged him fiercely.
"Welcome to the world, my friend."
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"Captain Rahan?"
Rahan turned to face the young human. Quickly dismissing the other three Guards, he gave him his full attention.
"How may I assist you, Estel?"
"Captain, I don't profess to know everything or even much about the Thurin Tirith and the vow you have taken to serve your Charge. However, if I understand things even a little bit, you may serve your Charge and no others, whether others will it or not. Am I correct?"
Rahan nodded.
"You are correct."
Aragorn was silent for a moment as if considering his next words.
"Captain, we have need of the skills of you and your elves on the day of battle. If you would consent to take part in what we have planned, then I will approach my sister with my request."
"Your diplomatic skills are admirable, my Lord. However, I will approach your sister on your behalf. While I do not feel she would not allow us to participate, I do believe there will be other issues of a personal nature, which will have to be addressed at the time the request is made. I will relay your request and will get back to you with an answer as soon as possible."
"Thank you, Captain."
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As Rahan entered the sleeping chamber, he saw that Anayah was awake. As he approached her, he could tell that she was deep in thought and that whatever occupied her thoughts was hurtful to her. She looked up at him and after inviting him to sit, once more lowered her gaze to her hands. Rahan just sat patiently waiting for her to speak.
"I know why you are here, Rahan."
"You have foreseen this moment?"
"No, I have not. However, it is only logical that this moment should come."
She looked at her Captain.
"You know that I would never forbid you to participate in this battle. I pledged to support my brother in this cause and since it seems that I now cannot fulfill my pledge myself, you and the other three will be called upon to fulfill it in my name."
She suddenly covered her eyes and began to quietly cry. Rahan shifted his position until he was sitting beside her then put his arms around her and held her tightly to him.
"I know this is the right thing to do, Rahan. It's just … I don't know what I would do if I lost one of you!"
Rahan rocked her soothingly as he held her.
"Young one, it fills my heart with joy to know that you care about the four of us this much. However, I must remind you that any one of us, you included, could die whenever we participate in any battle, whether it is together or not. You must try and come to terms with this for it will make times like this one much easier to bear when they happen."
Anayah sat up and after wiping the tears off her cheek, looked at the big elf sitting beside her.
"You know, Rahan, I feel really small when I sit next to you."
The Captain looked at his Charge for a moment then when he understood the humor of what Anayah had just said, he started laughing. Anayah joined in and soon the two of them were both laughing so hard that tears were running down their cheeks. Finally, after a time they quieted then Anayah took one of her Captain's big hands in hers and held it to her heart while she spoke.
"Rahan, you and your children are a big part of my heart. We have accomplished many things since we have been together and while I have not foreseen your death in this battle, I will still worry about you and those other over-sized elflings as well. Of course you have my blessing to participate in the coming conflict however you are needed. I just want you to promise me one thing."
"And what is that, Anayah?"
"Do your best to take care of yourselves so you can come back to me."
Rahan once more put his arms around Anayah and hugged her fiercely.
"Aye, young one. We will do our best."
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And so it was that those who had together pledged to go to war in the name of freedom spent some of the final hours before the battle drawing strength from those they loved. They made peace with their minds and hearts and came to terms with the thought that any one of them could make the ultimate sacrifice and lose their lives. This ritual survived those times and became an honored tradition and through all the ages of the world it was held close to the minds and hearts of not only the warriors who went to war but also those loved ones that were left behind.
It was once asked, then answered, of war: What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. This statement, timeless and honest, is true, for war should never have to be waged to insure the rights and dignities of others. But when every other course of action has been exhausted to insure that others can live as free beings, then to take up the sword in the name of those who cannot, becomes a righteous act.
TBC
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Ithil-valon: Thank you for your review. May it continue to entertain you.
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CapriceAnn Hedican-Kocur: Thank you, my friend. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
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Karone Evertree: What sounded Yoda-ish? Not my Freddie Kruger quote! Oh no! Yes, Anayah is half-elven but she is still immortal. Ground her? Probably for about a bazillion years.
Was someone following the Guards … uhm … perhaps. You may or may not find out in a couple of chapters if someone was or was not following someone. Did that confuse you? (heeheehee)
Yeppers … I turned the Guards loose in Chapter 38. Glad you enjoyed the chapter, 8-)
As always … thanks for the review.
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nanahalfelven: As always girl … you are my heart. Little Britches says hello and says to relay to you the fact that he promises to at least try and behave himself!