Deception:
A/N: Hi everyone! Thought I'd finally finish the T/J fic I started about over a year ago! Well, it's actually complete, but I'm posting it up in chapters so I can get feedback and suggestions in between. Hope you enjoy, even if Tess left Mt Thomas ages ago, and you can give me some useful constructive criticism if you like! Thanks for reading!
Setting: Mt Thomas of course! Early season 10, Josh and Tess are married and at the beginning of this story, Josh is packing for Melbourne where he'll be working from now on. Nobody knows Josh is gay yet.
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Tess stared absent-mindedly out the window. It was 6pm and the sun was just starting to set. It was absolutely beautiful with bright reds and oranges been thrown off in every direction. She had barely noticed though.
"I'll be back soon" said Josh whilst packing his socks into a large suitcase. He had just landed a new job in Melbourne and was extremely anxious to leave. Briefly checking he had packed everything, he crossed the bedroom and planted a soppy kiss on Tess' cheek. "Seeya Tess," he said, and walked from the room.
Tess smiled briefly and yawned. It was way too early to go to bed, but she was extremely tired. She dropped her dressing gown back on to the bed and slipped in between the covers. With one more yawn, her head fell against the pillow and she was fast asleep.
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BOOM! The thunder and lightning kept rolling outside. Tess shivered as she slipped out of bed and drew the curtains tightly shut. It didn't help much though; flashes of light kept creeping through the cracks. After a minute or so struggling with the curtains, Tess retired back to her bed and curled herself up in the huge doona.
It wasn't the raging storm outside that had woken or up. Nor was it the constant tick tick ticking of the clock hanging over her bed. She couldn't think of what might have caused her to drift out of sleep.
It was silly really. She knew exactly why she had been losing a lot of sleep lately. He was the centre of all her troubles, yet she'd never admit it to anyone. Her feelings for Evan were consuming her.
BOOM! There was another sudden crash of thunder outside, so intense that the whole room had trembled. Shuddering, she rolled over and stared at her dark, bleak curtains. They glistened eerily as the lightening continued to flash outside.
She closed her eyes gently. She hated feeling so alone and vulnerable. She and Josh had only been married a month (AN: sorry, I don't actually know the timeframe, so live with it) and things couldn't be worse. He always came home late and left for work early so they had practically no time for each other, but she still dreaded seeing him.
Lately Evan had been the only thing on her mind. For weeks it was he whom she was dreaming about, not Josh. She hated herself for having these unfaithful thoughts, but there was nothing she could do to stop them...
Frustrated with herself, she rolled over again. There was no harm in dreaming anyway... was there?
(A/N: this is her dream btw... this part is from AYNIL, season 9 finale, and is not mine...)
She picked up her jacket and headed to the locker room, sighing deeply as she entered. Evan could really aggravate her sometimes! Before she had the chance to compose herself again though, he walked in. Silently, he closed the door and faced her...
"Okay, you want realistic. What's real is that I'm crazy about you and if I thought you didn't care, we wouldn't be having this conversation," he said determinedly.
"Evan," she replied cautiously; this was the conversation she had tried to avoid for so long now...
"But you do care, don't you? Tess...I love you,"
Her heart was drumming away, hundreds of beats per second. She tried to shout that he was wrong, but the words were choking her...
"I know..." she eventually found herself muttering...
"Good," he replied softly, causing her heart to cease drumming and skip a few beats instead. She was frozen on the spot. She couldn't move, speak, nor breathe. Time had frozen between them. There was a look in his eyes that frightened her... an emotion expressing something so deep and strong...
In a moment of panic, she pulled away from his gaze and started to make an escape to the door. She was less than a metre away when she felt his grasp on her wrist. Their eyes locked on each other, and this time she was not able to pull away...
BOOM! Another crash of thunder sounded, interrupting her thoughts. That memory was had been so wonderful as it had been the only time she'd shown Evan what her love for him actually was. To lose herself completely to someone though was also incredibly frightening.
She had always prided herself with being strong and independent, a soul who could not be influenced by anything or anyone. All her life she had built up walls and barricades around herself, so as to protect herself from all the pain the world would throw at her. Yet now one man, Evan, her colleague, had found her one weakness.
She had fallen so hopelessly in love with him, and he now had the ability to make or break her. This was what she was scared to death of and had tried to avoid for so long now. She'd rejected all his advances, married a man she did not love, and yet he still held the key to her heart. She'd given her whole heart to a man once before, and he had thrown it all away, crushing her spirit and almost breaking her. She had just made it through and had vowed never to make that same mistake again.
What frightened her so much more was that her entire being knew that if she took the risk and gave her heart to Evan, she would be totally shattered and would most likely never recover from the immense pain and heartache that would follow if he rejected her. Love, no matter how strong, was not worth the heartache that always resulted at the end. Her marriage with Josh mightn't have the fire, passion and love she wished for, but at least she was safe.
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Tess had honestly thought that by marrying Josh, all her feelings for Evan would subside... alas, that hadn't been the case. Her feelings for Evan had instead become even more powerful and overwhelming. Now Josh had left for Melbourne it was going to be even harder for her to stay faithful...
Taking a deep breath, she strode into the police station with a plastered smile across her face. Thankfully, the station was empty. She took of her coat and settled down at her desk to start some paperwork. She had a huge pile of papers to get through, so hopefully that would keep her mind focused on the job (and not on erotic thoughts about a certain colleague) for the day.
At that moment, the door opened and Ben, Jo and PJ entered. "Morning Tess," said PJ brightly as he passed her. "Morning," she replied wearily, exhausted from her lack of sleep.
"Jonesy's off today," stated Ben as he read the roster. At this news, she sighed with relief. Although her heart was yearning to see him, her head knew it was best she didn't.
"Look's like I'm on patrol with you then Serge," Ben said, chucking the keys to her. "Right then," she replied, lighting up a bit. A bit of time on the road was sure to clear her head.
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"Here you go," called Chris as she brought over the drinks to the Heelers' designated table. "Thanks Chrissy," they shouted in unison as they fought to grab the first beer.
As soon as everyone had one hand full, Chris sat down and started off the usual banter. "We had this one pig-headed fellow in today..," she began, just as the door swung open.
"...It wasn't that big," floated a husky, female voice in Tess' direction. "Biggest Bass I've seen in that river Jackie," followed a more familiar voice...
"Jonesy? What you doing here mate! It's your day off," yelled PJ in Jonesy's direction. He grinned and pulled up two chairs for his 'friend' and himself. "Guys, this is Jackie. Jackie, guys," he said briefly, introducing Jackie to them all.
The whole day Tess had been able to bury those forbidden feelings she'd been developing for her fellow colleague. With him not around, it was easy for her to forget about him and concentrate on her work. Now he was here though, and with another girl. Not just any girl either. She was Asian (possibly Japanese), and was extremely good looking. She had a slender frame, creamy complexion and beautiful locks of sleek black hair.
She was no competition for Tess. She knew she shouldn't feel anything for Evan, she was forbidden to feel anything for anyone but Josh. She just couldn't help feeling so overwhelmingly jealous though to see Jonesy with another woman... it tore her up inside.
"What were you guys up to today then?" asked Ben mischievously. "We just went down to the river, tried to catch some fish" replied Jonesy grinning, "Jackie's pretty good. You should have seen the size of this Bass she caught, it was huge! Pity it got away...".
"How'd you let it get away..." teased PJ, nudging Jackie. It seemed everyone was taking a shine to Jackie.
"Sorry guys, I'm really tired so I think I might just head home..." Tess said, as she edged out of her chair. She knew it was rude, but she couldn't bear staying any longer than she had to. "I'll see you all at work tomorrow. Nice meeting you Jackie".
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Every word you never said
Echoes down your empty hallway
And everything that was your world
Just came down
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"Love? Above all things I believe in love! Love is like oxygen. Love is a many splendid thing, love lifts us up where we belong, all you need is love!"
If only love could be as wonderful and simple as Ewan Mcgregor made it sound, thought Tess. She had just opened a two litre tub of chocolate ice cream and was gouging it down miserably whilst watching her favourite 'chick flick', "Moulin Rouge".
She knew she'd blown her chance of happiness with Evan a long time ago, but to see him with another woman was the final blow. He'd finally given up on her and had moved on with his life. She'd never get another chance again.
Closing her eyes, she let the tears fall onto her ice cream. Why did it have to hurt so much? She felt like a gaping hole had been dug in her heart, and nothing, no-one, could ever fill it. The pain she was feeling was so overwhelming and she could do nothing except cry out her heart's contents. Was this how Evan had felt when she had betrayed him by marrying Josh? Had he felt as though his whole life had been shattered in just one moment and that it would take longer than an eternity to piece back together? Now she knew how he had felt.
All those months ago, a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she had finally given into Evan's advances and shown him how deep her love for him was. Never had she felt so wanted, loved, and desperately needed by someone before in her life. It had felt so good to finally be in his arms, engaging in his kisses as though nothing in the world was as important as those few precious moments they had shared in the locker room. They had shared something so special, and she had betrayed in the deepest sense by running away and marrying another man.
How could she still have hoped he still might have feeling for her after all the pain she had caused him? He would have forgotten about her, and tonight proved that as he had a new girlfriend.
It was silly really, she thought. They had had something so beautiful, yet they had never been an actual couple. Yet here she was pining over a man who no longer loved her, while her husband was away in Melbourne.
Just as she had wiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeve, somebody approached the door. DING… DONG! Swearing under her breath, Tess moved the now wet, melted tub of ice cream to the table and made a grab for the dressing gown lying on the end of the sofa. "Coming," she called to the visitor, as she quickly wrapped the pink dressing tightly around her body, hiding her pyjamas.
She took a quick breath before opening the door, hoping with all her will that it was anybody but Evan standing there on her doorstep...
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A/N: That is all! For now… please review guys!