The Beast Within

"This isn't easy for me to say, any more so than it is for you to hear. You told me about a psychic woman, Jezelle, correct?"

Darry nodded in response, but didn't speak. Antares continued heavily:

"Was she, by any chance, a boisterous, heavy black woman?"

Darry nodded again.

"I dreamed of her. I dreamt I was with her at night in the police station in Poho. I ran after her as she tried to walk away from me, and I was yelling, 'Are they ever wrong, are your dreams ever wrong? Answer me!' Finally she stopped and turned, and I nearly ran into her. 'Yes,' she said sadly. 'Yes, all right? They are.'(A/N: I actually had this dream, no joke) Then the dream dissipated, replaced by a new one. But first I should tell you of the nightmare, the one I had when we were both sleeping. I saw us together in the factory basement again, but this time it was I who had brought you there. I paralyzed you with some sort of serum. I laughed at you, enjoying your fear. And I…I ate one of your fingers."

Darry's eyes had been growing wider and wider as she told him this, and his mouth had been slowly dropping open. "The right index finger," he whispered, in a voice no stronger than the whistle of a teakettle. Antares looked at him.

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"I…I had the same dream," croaked Darry. Antares's eyes widened.

"Oh," was all she could say. Darry just nodded. "Darry, I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you this because I know it will hurt you, and the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you. I care too much about you, and you've been through too much pain already. But you must hear what I have to say." Darry nodded.

"I understand," he said, steeling himself. "I'm ready. I'm listening. Whatever you have to tell me, tell me without fear." Antares nodded, but her expression remained dark.

"I had another dream after the one with Jezelle," she said quietly. "In it, I saw myself standing on the beach. The sand…it was all red, saturated with blood. My friends, my family, your family – they were all dead, slaughtered, butchered like animals. I stood among them all, blood all over my face, arms, and clothing. They were all missing body parts, organs, et cetera. I had slain them all. Realizing this, I began to scream, screaming nonstop. The skies were rent with lightning and thunder, black clouds filled the air, and a blood-red rain began to fall. I heard laughter and looked. The Creeper stood on the cliff, laughing at me. I was half mad with fear, rage, and bloodlust, and I lunged at him, somehow clearing the distance from the ground to the top of the cliff. Creeper didn't seem surprised, but satisfied. He nodded as he looked at me appraisingly, sizing me up. Suddenly there was nothing left, no sky, no sea, no bloody massacre, nothing but us in endless white nothingness. I was trembling, terrified. I rounded on him and demanded to know what he had done to me. He only patted my head in an unbearably patronizing manner and told me that I would never destroy him. I would seek him out. He told me that one day I would go searching for him to seek his aid. I lunged at him again, but I missed this time and began to fall. I fell and fell and fell into the void, until my six-winged angel caught and held me. Then I awoke and saw you looking at those pictures. I'm sorry I reacted so irrationally, but I couldn't think straight. I didn't want you to see them, especially not the one of your death." She broke off for a moment and sighed, avoiding Darry's eyes. "So now you know. He's done something to me, Darry. And I think it has something to do with this-" she pointed to the red scar on her arm. "He put something into me, and it's making me…like him. I'm turning into a monster like him, one that feeds on fear and pain and death."

"Jesus Christ," breathed Darry in horror. "You poor thing." He took her into his arms and held her close. Antares had not been expected that. She had expected fear, disbelief, maybe even anger or hatred. She hadn't expected sympathy and compassion. Then again, she never did. Startled but relieved, she put her arms around him. Without realizing it, she began to cry. Darry put his hand on the back of her head, gently pressing her face against him, holding her tight.

"That abhorrent creature has caused me so much pain," Antares whispered. "He kidnapped me in front of my family and closest friends, all the people who matter most to me, tormented me, drained me of my life essence, locked me in a hole with those bodies. You want to know something?" she looked up at him. "About that church? My grandparents got married there. I never met that grandfather – my mother's father – but my grandma meant more to me than anything, and I was devastated when she died. And that sick son of a bitch made his nest there, defiled that sacred place with his murders and tortures. He knew my grandma was married there – he knew! He did it only to torment me further. And now this! I don't know how much more I can take, Darry!" She burst into uncontrollable tears. Darry held her close again, swiveling from side to side slowly, making soothing little sounds and stroking her hair. It seemed she had been crying forever when Antares finally stopped, hiccoughing and breathless, wiping her eyes and face. Darry very gently took her face in his hands and tilted it up so their eyes met. It seemed to Darry that the lifetime of tears he had first seen in Antares's eyes when they first met was beginning to wane, to wash away. He smiled lovingly at her.

"I love you," he said, slowly and gently. "I care about you. And I know that you're stronger than this thing. You made him stop whipping me. You blatantly insulted him and didn't rise to his bait. You slashed him open with his own knife! Whatever's going on, I know it's different, but you can make it through. You've got to. I'm always with you, no matter what. Whatever's going on with you, we'll fix it together. OK?" Antares smiled and hugged him again.

"Thank you, Darry," she said softly. "I couldn't make it through all this without you." Still smiling, she traced the rose tattoo on his stomach. Darry gave a snort and sucked in his stomach quickly.

"Heh, that tickles," he said.

"Oh really?" asked Antares, her eyes widening and taking on a mischievous sparkle.

"No," he said, backing away slowly. Antares grinned.

"I think it does," she said, advancing on him. "I think you're ticklish."

"No, not really, no," said Darry, still moving back. Antares jumped at him suddenly, tickling his bare abdomen mercilessly. Darry laughed helplessly, trying to get away. Antares caught his arms and pulled him back, tickling his underarms and back. Tears were streaming down Darry's face. "Stahahahahap, I c-c-can't breheeheeheeathe!" he wheezed, still laughing. Antares quickly stopped, noticing how red Darry's face was becoming.

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you OK?" she asked while Darry caught his breath.

"Yeah, fine," he said. "But that's not the important question here."

"Really?" asked Antares, frowning. "Then what is?"

"Are you ticklish, Ana?" With a wicked grin, Darry tackled Antares, making sure that she'd land safely on a rather damp beanbag chair, and started tickling her bare stomach and sides. Antares tried to hold in her laughter, but couldn't. She burst out laughing, trying to fight Darry off. However, Darry was stronger and heavier than she was, and simply laughed. His laughter redoubled when Antares started tickling him again. They rolled over and over each other across the beanbags, until they stopped, both breathless and panting, with Darry pinning Antares down. Both were sweaty and wet from rolling over the moisture that built up on the beanbags from being in an underwater cavern. Antares smiled shyly up at Darry. He grinned his wide affable grin back at her. She reached up and brushed a few sweaty strands of hair out of his eyes, lightly running her fingers down his cheek as she lowered her hand. Their eyes met. There was absolute silence, save for their breathing which had become rather heavy. Darry moved his hands off Antares's shoulders and to either side of her so he wasn't pinning her anymore. Antares didn't move now that she could. She just smiled at him. She wanted Darry to kiss her, and at the same time she hoped he wouldn't, not knowing that Darry fought much the same battle with himself. Most college girls he knew he'd be making out with by now, but Antares was different. She was special. What if she didn't want to? Then again, what if she did? He finally made a decision. Slowly he leaned down and lovingly kissed her cheek. Actually, he mostly kissed her ear, but he was aiming for her cheek. She made smiling sort of sound through her lips and gazed up at him with love in her eyes when he straightened over her again. She leaned up and kissed him squarely on the cheek (though, in all fairness, it's easier to kiss someone when you're leaning up rather than down). Darry grinned a little foolishly and leaned back. Antares sat up completely, still smiling. Neither spoke for a time. What was there to say? They just sat gazing at each other, enjoying being with each other. Finally Antares broke the silence with these soft, hesitating words:

"Maybe we should head back?"

Darry's face fell a bit, though he tried to hide it. He obviously didn't hide it well enough, because Antares said quickly, "Oh no, don't take it that way! I just meant that I don't want the others getting worried and thinking we've drowned or something."

"Oh," said Darry, much relieved. "Yeah, you're right. We should go back." They rose as one and just stood staring at each other. Finally Antares leaned forward and gave Darry a small kiss on the cheek.

"The exit's behind you," she said softly.

"Oh right!" said Darry, his face reddening. Antares gave a light little laugh and they both plunged into the clear dark water. Darry followed Antares out and up to the surface. Their families were still playing volleyball, so they swam back to shore and rested on their beach towels, trying to recover from being waterlogged.

"So, is this real?" Darry asked Antares, tracing the rose on her stomach. She giggled and pulled away.

"Yes, it is, and it's ticklish," she said.

"Oh, it is?" asked Darry with an evil grin. Antares's eyes widened as she realized what she had said.

"Now, when I said 'ticklish', what I meant was-" she began, but Darry didn't give her the chance to finish. He pounced on her, tickling her ruthlessly. She shrieked with laughter, trying to free her arms, which Darry had managed to pin underneath her, to retaliate. She managed to free one arm and attacked. Soon the two were rolling around in the sand just as they had in the cave, both shrieking and laughing uncontrollably.

"Get his neck; his neck's really ticklish!" Trish shouted.

"Trish!" howled Darry as Antares took her advice. "Whose side are you on!"

"Well I don't know her ticklish spots," Trish replied with a grin.

"Her ears are really ticklish!" Rigel shouted.

"Really?" Darry asked Antares as they both froze in surprise.

"No," said Antares, too quickly. Darry grinned and tickled her ears.

"I'm gonna kill you, Hair Gel!" Antares shrieked at her brother. Rigel only laughed. Finally the two were exhausted and lay side-by-side on the sand together, panting and grinning at each other (not panting like that, you sick people!). Darry kissed Antares's cheek again, this time not missing. Antares kissed him back, then kissed his ear playfully. She paused for a moment, then kissed it again. Darry gave a yelp as she bit his ear, drawing blood. Not much, but it was still there. Both shot up, staring at each other. Antares put her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide with horror.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's OK," said Darry, holding his ear. "I was more surprised than anything. Jeez, though, that hurt."

"I'm sorry," Antares whispered, whispering it over and over again, more to herself than to Darry. "I couldn't control it," she said, almost inaudibly. "I couldn't contain it. It's hungry; it wants human flesh, and I don't know if I have the strength to fight it."

"Oh Jesus," said Darry, realizing. "Whatever's happening to you, that's what made you bite me, isn't it. It took control of you for a second, there."

"He's making me do this," croaked Antares. "He wants me to hurt you because I care about you. He wants to make me kill the ones I love most. I can't let that happen, Darry. I can feel it growing stronger in me. I can feel this human body dying all around me!" Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes.

"No, don't cry," said Darry gently, crawling over to her and hugging her. "Shh, don't cry. I'm here. I'm gonna take care of you. We're gonna find out what he did to you, and we're gonna fix it. He can't have you. I won't let him." Antares looked up at him curiously. "I won't let him," Darry repeated tenderly. He smiled at her and brushed away the tears that had trickled down her cheeks.

"What's going on?" asked Mira, who had run over with the rest of the group. "Are you two OK?"

"No," said Antares, very calmly and clearly. "There's something wrong with me, Momma." She looked up at her mother, infinite sadness in her eyes. "There's something so wrong."