A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! I know this was kind of dead and after reading the beginning to one I thought it would be... interesting to write lol.

Jenna - Yes, this is after Chosen because it takes place while Buffy is in Rome after the Final Battle... I know it's a little weird and confusing because I made all these changes but this fic was originally written for a Draco/OC pairing and I decided to twist it up, so the first chapter is a little weird. Sorry for the confusion!

Paladin3030 - Ah! Gracias! I think you've given me an ideabut who knows what happened to the trio? I mean, maybe someone from Harry's world hasn't survived long enough to laugh at this. And I'm not saying it's one of the trio, heh.

Javana - Will Buffy be a Slayer? You'll find out in this chapter. It'll all make much more sense... I hope.

C'est Magnifique - Lol, no Angel. not YET at least.

Goddessa39 - Yes, this is pretty much AU. I am basically changing Buffy's entire first 15 years of life lol into the way that works for me! Everything from there on is about the same.. Besides the virgin thing and a few minor details.

Another thanks to inuyasha-lover92, onlimain, RedsLover03, Renna, Charlie, Darklight, Jennifer, and Just Me.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Note - I know the first chapter was funny and I hope to keep this a funny fic, but this chapter is a LITTLE angsty... Sorry! I promise the next one will be funnier!

Short, I know... but I'm trying to make them longer!

Chapter 2: Why Aren't We Laughing?

Buffy hung up the phone for the hundreth time. Where was everyone! Draco had just exited the hotel bathroom with steam following his still damp body toward Buffy. He had a white towel wrapped loosely around his waist and was attempting to semi-dry his flaxen locks.

Buffy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, setting the phone down on the table beside the bed. "Go get dressed."

"I plan to. But first, I wanna know why you're in Rome?"

She shrugged. "I could be asking you the exact same thing."

"It's been what now? Ten years?"

"Or longer."

"So, Summers, what've you been up to these days?"

Buffy put her head in her hands. "Can you at least think seriously, rationally for just like, one minute! Draco! We're married! I can't get a hold of my friends and I don't even know how I ended up in this situation!"

"Changing the subject are we, love? Was life that bad?"

"Yes." She said dejectedly and lowered her eyes to the wooded floor.

"Then tell me about it. Can't have been worse than mine."

She smiled slightly and looked up with a quirked eyebrow. "The highlights? Killed my first boyfriend, Ran out my second boyfriendliterally. He left the country. Used my third boyfriend, saved the world from vampires and demons a coupla' times, Got a sister, who just happened the be the Key that this weirdo Hell God wanted." She made a thinking face. "Oh! And I died twice. You?"

By now his eyes were at his hairline. "G-Good in school?"

"I got kicked out of my first school. After Hogwarts that is."

"For what!"

"Burning down the gym. Wasn't my fault though, I swear! I got kicked out of my other school too but they let me back in. Then I went to college for about a year but dropped out after my mom died." She said with pained eyes.

"I'm sorry. But, you definatley top me, I must say."

"Spill."

Draco ruffled his hair once more, still damp, and Buffy couldn't help but watch the small droplets of water trickle down his pale, firm, rock hard chest that - NO! No Buffy! BAD!

"After you left I got prefect 5th year, Head Boy 7th, still enemies with Potter and his gang. My father was sent to Azkaban and I fought with the Death Eaters against The Order and I-I killed someone." He stuttered it like venom, afraid to even say it.

"When?" She asked in a whisper.

"Just aa few weeks ago. During a battle. I didn't mean to but something took over me, it seemed, and I, I killed her."

"Who, Draco? Tell me, please?" Buffy was shocked at her own sincerity and softness as she listened to his story. Not even she had been able to kill a human being. Almost.

Almost.

"Ginny Weasley. I swear I didn't mean to Buffy, you have to believe me!"

There was a look in his steel grey eyes that Buffy had never known to be a Malfoy look. It was sorrowful, regretful, guilty and pained. It hurt her and she knew that he was telling the truth. All from his eyes. His eyes allowed her to see in his soul, the soul he hid behind those very same eyes.

"Draco, Draco calm down! I believe you, I do." She sat down on the bed where he was now sitting and placed her cool hand against his hot, bare flesh and rubbed small circles on his back.

"That's why I'm here." He choked out softly. So soft Buffy almost didn't catch it. "To get away from them, from the Death Eaters, if I can."

Buffy sighed but continued to try and sooth him. "Don't worry about it. I'll help you. I even have an apartment here in Rome."

Draco took several deep breaths and nodded. "You know why I'm here, in Rome that is. Why are you?"

A small laugh escaped her lips. "You really wanna know? Cause it's a long, boring, and heart-wrenching story."

He leaned back against the bed and stretched out fully, patting a spot next to him for Buffy. She moved to lay next to him, both of them on their sides facing eachother.

"Okay, well, there's this thing called The First. And that's just what it is, the first evil. It has these hooded guys and oober vamps. They don't die easily and believe me when I say that half the scars on my body are from that year." She began fiddling her fingers with the soft sheets. "I'm the Slayer, MalDraco. Well, A Slayer actually. See, my best friend, she's a Wiccan witch, she did this spell that made all the potential Slayers, slayers. We went down into the Hellmouth and killed them." She lifted her wrinkled shirt just a bit to reveal a long, deep scar on the right side of her midriff. "That's where I picked up this souvenir. One of my many favorites."

Draco ran his cool fingers over the dark, obscured skin that made such a contrast to her peachy complection. Goosebumps rose over her flesh at his touch and they both pulled away a bit.

"So that's why you left isn't it, Vixen?"

Buffy nodded, not in the mood to argue with him about that stupid name. "Yeah. I didn't choose to, I was pretty much forced. They put me in a new country, with a new school- a non-magic school, with this new responsibilty. A responsibility that required me to save the world or die."

Draco felt sorry for this girlno, woman. That scrawny little blonde he once knew as an immature child had grown into a beautiful young woman with more hidden pain than she obviously cared to show.

"... And I ended up here, in Rome. Dawn and I live together in an apartment. I mean, it's small and stuff but Andrew's room is empty now that he left so if you"

"Who's Dawn? And Andrew?"

"Dawn's my seventeen year old sister and Andrew was this dorky guy that helped with the battle... kind of. No, actually he didn't really. But he was there."

"So he was one of these boyfriends?"

Buffy burst out laughing hysterically. "NO!" She laughed some more and then did her best attempt to compose herself. "Oh if only saw him. No, Malfoy, I never dated him and never planned to."

"Draco."

"What?" She asked perplexed.

"My name? It's Draco. Not Malfoy."

Buffy frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just try and refer from calling me Malfoy."

"In exchange for what? What do I get?" She asked snarkily, but with a grin.

"I won't call you Vixen."

"No! I mean... I kind of like it. Reminds me of when I was little and didn't have all this... stuff to worry about. Grown up stuff."

"Like money? Working? Marriage?"

"Marriage. Funny thing, isn't it?"

"Hilarious."

"Then why aren't we laughing?"