Saturday:
Our holiday was cut short; Weather Wizard has now added typhoons to the forecast, Maxie and I boom tubed our way back to Apokolips, but at her insistence we stopped off for breakfast at a bar she knows on the outer western rim of the galaxy.
I ordered the House special, which turned out to be, Gordanian Lava Eggs over easy, with the crispy spleen of Nebulan Toad. Maxima opted for bagels and we both had coffee.
Things were going well until some Czarnian Biker woke up from a drunken stupour and decided to pick a fight with me! Apparently he knows Maxima and called her "babe!"
"I thought the Czarnians were extinct!" I told him.
"I'm the last of my kind!" He bellowed, "the one and only!"
I told him that unless he went back to his table this would soon change. After all extinguishing races is something I have often done over breakfast.
He then called me a "Rock faced Bastich!" And asked me to step outside.
Just as we got to the door he threw the first punch…. It tickled, so I gave him one of mine, which didn't.
We wrestled, punched, kicked, destroyed loads of furniture, and took out a couple of walls. Best fun I've had in ages.
At one point the Czarnian who appeared to be called "Lobo" motioned for me to stop I was aware that his alcohol intake had been repeating on him throughout our tussle but now he needed to take a "sick break" as he promptly vomited all over his boots and passed out in the mess.
By now the rest of the bar had joined in and Maxima was holding her own against several other dregs which I helped her finish off, before we boom tubed the rest of the way home.
Desaad was exceptionally subservient upon my return; clearly he had been up to something. I was about to sound him out when the air was filled with the roaring sound of an engine.
It was the Czarnian biker on his space hog.
"WE'RE NOT DONE TILL I SAY WE'RE DONE!" He bellowed as Desaad cowered behind me.
I motioned to the attending Para-demons to keep back whilst Lobo and I went into round two.
Then disaster struck… Lobo destroyed one of my newly redecorated walls, burying me under the rubble. If this keeps up I will have to give serious consideration to taking out house insurance.
I readied myself to burst dramatically through the rubble but then something odd happened. Lobo turned to Desaad and demanded payment.
"Ok I fragged him just as you asked, so hand it over!"
I burst through the rubble, I'm sure it must've looked cool.
"Don't bother Desaad!" I declared, "I've got your reward right here!"
I did exactly what I should've done in the first place and destroyed the Czarnian with my Omega Beams. Then it was Desaad's turn needless to say he went out with a whimper.
"Well that was the best holiday I ever had!" I declared, "anyone want to see our pictures?"