Chapter 2

A Lost Friend

"You can't blame yourself, Harry dear." Mrs.Weasley caressed his shoulder with sympathy and embraced him warmly. Harry reviled. He was in no mood for hugs and kisses. It was two days after Hameli Norton had dropped in for a visit and the Weasley family, save for Fred and George, Lupin, Tonks, and Mundungus had come to see how he was. Harry didn't want to see their sullen faces and be constantly reminded of Hermione.

What he really wanted in the midst of this crowd next to his bed was to talk to Ron. Harry knew he was avoiding him. Did he blame Harry for her death as he feared? He was standing behind Bill's towering figure, making conversation with the old man Rhinecourd. Something began to swell strangely in his neck as if it was attempting to come out. He gulped and put on a fake smile for his visitors. There wasn't much chatter in the room, only saddened looks.

"Hiya Harry." Ginny broke out and approached him, "How are you doing? Still hurt? Physically, I mean."

"I'm fine." Sure I am, he thought.

"Look…just try not to think about it. It's not your fault. Me, I'd rather blame Cruscha for not being able to ward off the Imperius Curse. Damn it. If she hadn't given away our position, then…" Ginny sighed, "Never mind. I'll start crying again if I keep on dwelling in the past. I hope you do get better soon Harry. We miss you."

"What about Ron?"

"Oh he misses you too, but he's acting awfully strange. I swear, sometimes I hear him muttering to himself. He's still in shock. He really cared about her, you know, probably more than any of us. Imagine how her parents must feel too."

Harry couldn't visualize the terror and pain on their faces when they found out that their only daughter was dead.

"I think we're ready to leave. I'll see you really soon Harry. Keep your head up." Ginny gave him a peck on the cheek and disappeared out of his sight. The others headed out of the room as well, and as Ron was the last one to reach the door, Harry whistled at him. He stopped brusquely and faced Harry, though not exactly looking at him.

"Why haven't you said anything to me?" Harry inquired, sitting up in the bed, his lower muscles aching from no activity all these days.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Just talk to me. How are you?"

"How do you think I am?"

"Is it really necessary for you to answer my questions with a question?"

"I think so, don't you? I don't feel like answering you."

"Thanks. I know what's going on. You blame me for Hermione's death."

"Don't say her name." Ron said dangerously as he folded his arms.

"And why not?"

"You don't deserve to."

"That's right. If I hadn't led you guys to that place, then she would be alive today. I'm sorry. I wish more than anything to go back in time and change all of it, but it's impossible. I'm going to have to live with this hanging over me for my whole life, or at least whatever is left of it."

"You're right. It is your fault." For the first time, Ron made eye contact with Harry. There was hatred leaking around the corner of his eyes.

"If I could ever change time, I would go back seven years ago and change that we ever met on the train. That was where it all started, the danger, the deaths. You're nothing but a merciless and worthless spoiled prick. I wish I'd never met you-"

"Get out." Harry forced his finger at the door, "Now."

Harry was glaring at Ron with a fierce hatred to match his. Ron left immediately without another word. A tear left Harry's eye. Had Ron really declared that he didn't want Harry to be his friend? If there was anything that he valued in the world, it was friendship, and now that had withered away like the hailing wind of a storm. Harry felt even weaker than before, inside and out. He didn't know what or who he was living for. He had no friends, parents, relatives, principle or purpose. All the world and God had made out of him was the Boy Who Lived. Who cared about defeating Voldemort? What would he get out of it if he was dead? Surely his Mum and Dad, Sirius, Dumbledore, and Hermione wouldn't come back to life. The other day, he had encountered a horrible nightmare of all the dead bodies of his loved ones chasing and trying to kill him. He had felt trapped, not being able to hurt them even though they were dead. He prayed that something like that would never happen.

Suddenly, the door swished open again. Thinking it was Ron, Harry yelled, "Get out of my sight!"

"Well," spoke a dreamy voice, "I always thought you were cracked, and this proves it. Do you really want me to leave?"

Luna looked different, or perhaps it was because he hadn't seen her for a long time. Artificial celery earrings dangled on her ears that lighted up in different intervals, matched with a round celery necklace that rounded off nicely with her light green cloak. Her hair was straight white blond now, reaching to her shoulders.

"No. Sorry. I thought you were somebody else. Come in. Are you here alone?"

"Yep. Daddy's at work trying to figure out who choked twenty of the Chupercobbers."

Carefully avoiding asking her what Chupercobbers were, Harry said, "So how are you? Do you still go to Hogwarts?"

"Of course, but it's not the same with you. The school's almost empty. Almost no one's in Slytherin now."

"That's expected."

"How are you darling?"

Darling? Harry shook his head, "I'm doing well."

"No you're not. How could you be with Hermione Granger gone? Despite our differences, I was very down when I heard of it. Goes to show you that intelligence doesn't count for anything in the real world, doesn't it?"

"Yes it does. She couldn't do anything…There were too many Death Eaters…" It felt peculiar to be talking about Hermione and Death Eaters to Luna, but he felt comfortable nonetheless.

"I suppose. If I had been there, I would have zapped them with my electricity caliber."

"What?" Harry exclaimed, completely thrown off by this new piece of information.

"That's what I did back in the Department of Mysteries. How do you think I was able to stand alive for that long? An electricity caliber zaps anyone in ten feet range. It's almost like a Muggle electrocuter."

"That's er-nice. How are the teachers?"

"We're missing some. Professors Vector, Sinistra, and Snape are gone, obviously because of Voldie-"

Harry coughed.

"-so no one's teaching those subjects right now. It's mayhem in the castle, I tell you. Peeves is more valiant than ever. He says he misses the students and then throws Dungbombs on their heads in speeds of bullets. I would join him if he wasn't so violent."

It was the most Harry had heard Luna say in one go. Usually, she had a glazed look upon her face as she walked around dressed in noticeable accessories. She didn't stop to say anything.

"Why would you do that?" Harry asked.

"Everyone is so down these days. I even volunteered to restart the DA but they said 'Not without Harry' and I ended up agreeing with them.

"You shouldn't have." Harry tried to be as modest as possible but felt the color rising in his cheeks.

"With nothing else to look forward to, everyone is fretting over the N.E.W.T's."

Harry wondered how Hermione must have felt not taking one of the most important tests. Still, she had chosen to side with him…if only she hadn't…

"You're thinking of Hermione aren't you?" Luna said, sitting down on the bed next to him.

Harry nodded. He didn't mind telling her this, knowing that she had lost her mother when she was nine.

"Me too…I was thinking back to the first day when we all met. She said the Quibbler was rubbish and I was furious. Then that smarmy gargoyle came in-"

"Crabbe?" Harry suggested.

"Yeah, and Ron said something hilarious…"

Harry's stomach churned. Ron…

"But I don't remember what. Is there anything else on your mind?"

Trying his best to be vague, Harry said, "Some…some people blame me for her death, and I guess they have every reason for it, but of all the people, I would have never guessed this particular person would…"

"Ah, I see. Well, I know you know it's not your fault. Hermione was smart and she chose to join your side. It was on her free will. You didn't force her to follow you."

"But if she hadn't been there that day-"

"If if if. Don't drive yourself crazy with these if's. It's all in the past now. You can't change it Harry."

He breathed heavily, "You're right."

Luna checked her watch and exclaimed with surprise, "Oh! It's three. I have to go!"

Harry didn't want her to leave. She was the first person he had talked to for a very long time. There were still so many things he wanted to say…

"Oh, I almost forgot. I got you something." She summoned a blue gift box in her hands and passed it on to Harry. He looked at it curiously.

"Open it." Luna said.

Harry lifted the cover and found a flip book of photos. He gazed at each one. They consisted of almost all the students in the seventh year, including himself, Ron, and Hermione. There was Dead and Ginny kissing (he guessed it was from their sixth year), Harry and Ron playing Quidditch, Neville and Parvati doing homework, Hermione sewing those wooly hats…

He was overwhelmed. It felt like the whole school was beside him. Harry looked up at Luna, who was grinning at the expression on his face.

"I got most of the photographs from Colin. There's even some from your second year, believe it or not. The others I got from some Gryffindors. I hope you like them. It's something for you to remember us by."

Harry couldn't think back to a nicer gift than this. "I love it Luna. Thank you so much, and thank Colin for me too?"

"Welcome." She patted his hand and then headed out the door. Harry went back to the photo he was on and saw Ron and himself hugging each other in the common room when Harry had found out they'd won the Quidditch Cup. Harry needed his friend back.

…

"Er-what? What did you say?" Harry stood there, stunningly dumbfounded at Fleur's words. She giggled and poked at his face.

"You need ze dance partner, Harry. There will be zhee dance. Alright?"

"No way! I'm not dancing!" Harry forced his foot down and stomped off to the twins' room. It was like being at Hogwarts during the Triwizard Tournaments all over again. He did not know how to dance and didn't want to make a fool out of himself in front of everyone. He had come back to the Burrow just the previous day and already he was regretting coming back. At least people didn't force him to do things at St.Mungo's. Sure, he got heaps of flowers and candy, but it was all affection.

The only person that came to his mind was Ginny, so he decided that he would ask her as soon as she came back from gardening outside. He had never imagined her to be the girly type who would clean all day, but he guessed that ever since Mrs.Weasley's age caught the best of her, the only girl of the family had to assist her.

"What's up?" Fred asked him as soon as he caught the look on Harry's face.

"Fleur. Said we need dance partners."

"Ahhh….good thing I've got Angelina. Ever fancy going with Ron?"

Harry gave him a crossed stare. Fred laughed.

"I was just messing with you Harry. Ask Ginny."

"That's not the point. I just don't dance. Sure, if you ask me to duel, I'll be ready for it. Hermione always said-"

He stopped short. Fred looked around uncomfortably as well and suddenly said, "Hey, look at this. It's a new item we've been testing out for weeks now and we're still not sure if we should use it in the shop. See?"

Harry nodded and shared his 'yeah', but his attention was not on the funny looking silver object in Fred's hands.

…

"Ginny."

"Hmmm?"

"Be my partner?"

Ginny looked up from the pudding in her hand. Sympathy was written all over his face.

"Oh I'm sorry Harry. Apparently I already asked Dean."

For some reason, Harry found it hard to talk. He opened his mouth but nothing came out. Ginny sensed this as she said, "We got back together a few weeks ago. I just never told you because I thought you would be upset. I'm sorry."

"It's fine Ginny, really." No it wasn't. He never imagined Ginny would be back together with Dean. Didn't she care about his feelings at all?

"It's just that when you broke up with me, I admit I became a bit lonely-"

Harry held up his hand in protest, "Stop. You don't have to explain yourself to me. I get it."

With that, Harry left the dinner table and made his way to the living room. His forehead burned with pain again. Suddenly he felt as if he did not belong at the Burrow. Ginny had found someone else, Ron was not speaking to him, and all Mrs.Weasley wanted to do was pamper him like a little prince. It seemed as if everyone had gone their separate ways. Is this what he deserved after his best friend died?

Then a thought came to him. There was someone in this world who could understand what he was going through to a certain extent. Immediately, he jumped up the stairs to the twins' room and let Hedwig out of her cage.

He hoped this would work.