Tuesday:
Maxima has hired me a personal trainer! I tell her that I don't need one, she playfully wobbles my tummy and reminds me that I do.
So as of today I am on a diet, and have to do two hours of aerobics.
No bread, no alcohol, more fruit and vegetables and plenty of fish. I remind Maxima that there are no fish on Apokolips, but she tells me that they have been boom tubed in from the Atlantic.
That's all I need Aquaman on my case…
The female furies join me for aerobics, and I detect amusement from Lashina at my clumsy attempts to move to the music. I would discipline her, but I'm too tired.
Naturally, we exercise to Ice Cube.
Later that day whilst fiddling with my mother box I manage to intercept a consignment of 180,000 Robo sapien toys that are due to be delivered to Toys R Us to meet the incredible demand that this toy has generated in the run up to Christmas.
I keep one for myself and the rest are sent to stoke the fiery pits. I take great pleasure in knowing that Christmas is ruined for 180,000 children.
Well I just didn't want any of you to get the idea that I was getting soft what with the aerobics and the diet and all...