Marriage of Sorrow

Peach was in a daze. Her midsection hurt and her head throbbed. She felt as if she were floating. She could vaguely hear the sound of talking in the background. Her consciousness seemed to fade in and out. When her eyes slowly and weakly opened, everything was a blur. Everything went in and out of focus. She could see a swirl of gray, blue, yellow, and white. She did not have the strength to move even her eyes very much. Once her eyes had maintained their still blurry focus for a moment, she could see herself floating nude in a watery tube. She was too dazed to tell whether it was a mirror or just her imagination, but she could see Zelda in a similar state nearby. As everything became clearer, she could see that everyone's eyes, including her own apparently, were closed. It seemed she was having an out-of-body experience, but the strain of focusing was too much for her and she sank back into unconsciousness.

Peach awakened groggily to the light of flames. It seemed there were candles throughout the small, well-knit room. As she awakened further, she could see the walls were white and much of the modest furniture and decorations were pink. The chair was pink. The white table had a pink cloth covering it. Even the bed on the other side of the room was pink. Peach then realized that she was standing up. She looked upon herself and saw that she was wearing a white version of her usual royal wardrobe. She also noticed that several of Bowser's female minions were grooming and dressing her. All of them had expressionless faces, showing neither happiness nor sadness. Each also seemed to be dressed in white formal wear. The golden brown Goomba, wearing a small white bow and red jewel on her forehead, adjusted Peach's white shoes and sewed on miniature bows. The marine blue Koopa, wearing a purple shell, white dress, white bow, and a blue jewel on her forehead, tightened Peach's corset. The pale green Boo, wearing a white bow and a green jewel on her forehead, brushed and combed Peach's hair.

Peach slowly came to her senses and inquired, "What are you doing?"

"Hold still," the Boo said blankly, placing a veil over Peach's face.

"There will be trouble if you resist," the Koopa said, placing a bouquet in her hands.

"Your groom is waiting," the Goomba said, pushing the door open. As the Boo and Koopa took hold of the tail of her dress, she followed the Goomba out the door. There were two Koopatrol standing guard just outside the door. They were the elites of the non-mutant Koopas. They had black, spiked shells as well as spiked helmets and iron gauntlets. Outside the room, there was a large stone hallway that matched Bowser's usual décor: grey stonewalls and fiery torches hanging along the walls. The Koopatrol followed the group as they proceeded down the hallway, bypassing several doors and stairways. Organ music grew louder as they neared the red, massive double-doors at the end of the hallway. The Koopatrol stopped at the door and turned around. Then, Peach heard the familiar "Here Comes the Bride" music being played. She hesitated to continue forward.

"Please, Princess," one of the Koopatrol said somewhat sadly. "None of us want to hurt you." The Koopa and Boo pushed her through the doors and the Goomba began to follow from behind. The next room was humongous. The benches were full of witnesses and the room was a slightly more pleasant red and white pattern. There were stained glass windows depicting various pictures of Bowser and his children. At the end of the path, behind the podium, there was the stained glass window of Peach that had once been the main attraction of her castle. Bowser, dressed in a black tuxedo, stood at the end of the path, waiting impatiently for her. Bolt was similarly dressed next to him. A Magikoopa stood behind the podium. A Dry Bones skeleton played the organ. Off to the side, Zelda was kneeling in a bridesmaid's dress, being held by a group of mutant Koopas. They restrained her with chains connected to bonds on her wrists, ankles, and neck. When she tried to say something, one of the mutant Koopas smacked the back of her head, forcing her to stay down.

Peach looked away and saw the stares she was getting from the crowd of various creatures. There were Goombas, Koopas, Bob-ombs, Boos, Cheep-Cheeps, Piranha Plants, Lakitus with cameras, and various other creatures. In front, she saw all eight of Bowser's children. Wendy and Roy, arguably the toughest of the children, seemed to be giving her particularly bad looks. She finally reached the end of the path and her bridesmaids took their places to the side.

The Magikoopa began, "We are gathered here to witness the joining of two great kingdoms: the Mushroom Kingdom and the Koopa Kingdom. At the same time, a princess shall become Queen. Do you, King Bowser Koopa, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"Yeah," Bowser said, somewhat impatiently.

"That's not all to the vow!" Zelda yelled as she was struck once again.

"Ahem," the Magikoopa coughed. "Do you, Princess Peach Toadstool, take this Koopa to be your be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to care for in sickness or in health, to love until death do you apart?"

"Don't do it!" Zelda yelled. One mutant stomped on her and held her head to the floor with its boot. "Peach…don't do it!"

"I stand by my decision," Peach said, turning away from Bowser. "I'd rather die than marry an idiotic bully like you. I should spit on you for pulling something like this." The crowd gasped.

"Burn her!" Wendy yelled.

"Squash 'er!" Roy shouted.

"Shut up!" Bowser roared. "Now, Peachy, I know how your sweet little mind works, so I thought up a way to force your hand." He snapped his finger and the mutant Koopas began to relentlessly beat and stomp Zelda.

"What are you doing!" Peach exclaimed. Bowser grabbed her throat before she could run to help her.

"Being the bad guy I always was," he laughed. "I don't have to kill the Hylian to make her suffer. And knowing you, her suffering is your suffering. Bwa ha ha ha!"

"You monster!" Peach screamed. "Stop this!" Bowser snapped his finger and the Magikoopa summoned a sword into each Koopa's hands. They pinned Zelda down with the blades.

"Like I said," Bowser said, tightening his grip on Peach's throat, "no one has to die to get my point across. I can shish kabob her over and over again. As long as we keep her alive, we can torture her until you decide wise up."

"My healing magic is quite good," the Magikoopa cackled.

"Don't give in," Zelda said, standing up. "We'll figure a way out of this. I know we caAAH!" One of the Koopas stabbed her side. "I'm not important here! Just run awaAAAAH!" Another Koopa snapped her arm. The Magikoopa healed all her wounds and the Koopas kicked her. She ignored them and got to her knees. "Peach, please!"

"Stop it!" Peach cried. "Just stop it!"

"Let's raise the stakes a bit," Bowser chuckled. He slammed Peach to the ground and held his foot on her throat. "One more word outta' you, long ears, and she's history." Zelda was horrified, but held her tongue.

"Peach," she said through telepathy. "Don't…" Bowser's foot pressed further onto Peach's throat.

"Don't even think about it," Bowser growled.

"What are you going to do with Zelda?" Peach choked. Zelda's eyes widened.

"In a little while, we'll send her back to her world," he said. "She's no good to us here. Someone else is interested though." Zelda shook her head frantically, visually begging Peach not to accept.

"You win, Bowser," Peach said bitterly. "I do." Zelda's heart sank and her body felt numb.

The Magikoopa beamed, "Is there anyone who objects to their union?" Several cannons opened up around the room, pointing directly into the crowd. Bowser maintained his foothold on Peach and glared at Zelda. "Then, I now declare you King and Queen Koopa."

Zelda banged the floor, crying angrily. "No! It wasn't supposed to be like this! Why!"

"I'm sorry, Zelda," Peach said, crawling to her.

"You may now kiss the bride!" the Magikoopa added.

Bowser grabbed her leg and pulled Peach back. He held her upside-down and stared at her. She looked at him sadly, trying to keep her dress from falling over her face. Without warning, he tossed her over his shoulder with a shrug. She was sent flying behind the altar.

"You foul demon!" Zelda cried in tears. "How could you do this to your own…Uaagh!" One of the Koopas had sent one mighty stomp into her stomach, knocking the air out of her. It was then a simple case of dragging the whimpering Hylian out, while Peach could only watch.

"Don't worry, my Queen," Bowser chuckled. "I know how to make you happy."

"You know nothing of the way I feel," she said tearfully, looking away from him. "You have my hand and nothing more, you ugly sack of filth!"

"Oh, yeah! Well, let me reveal one of your dirty little secrets to the crowd here." He snapped his fingers and the Magikoopa summoned a microphone into Bowser's hand. "Haven't you ever noticed how often this damsel is in distress? Now, everyone knows how we fought side-by-side a few years ago and no one here, not even me, can doubt her healing magic."

The crowd agreed, since many of them had encountered Mario's party of warriors during the Smithy incident.

Bowser walked up to the podium and leaned an elbow on it, glaring at Peach. "Then, why is it that she doesn't put up a fight at all? Ever thoughta' that? She never runs away. She never so much as slaps her captors. She barely even squirms when you sling her over your shoulder. All she does is scream for help. Know why? I'll tell ya why! Because getting kidnapped gets her rocks off, that's why!"

The crowd gasped and Peach became stiff with shock. Her face was red from embarrassment and anger. "How dare you! You don't know anything about…!"

"Oh, come on Peachy," he said, leering at her. "You know it, I know it…Heck, even that blasted plumber knew it. Nothing gets you worked up more than being kidnapped or being put in danger. Getting saved is the part when you…"

"Shut up!" Peach cried, covering her ears. "Just shut up! I don't want to hear anymore of these horrible lies! You've ruined my life enough already!"

"Oh, trust me, my pretty little wife," he grinned a toothy smile. "It gets much worse."

Though Peach was now a queen, she certainly was not being treated as one. She had immediately been put to work that a personal servant would carry out. She worked in the kitchen, helping to prepare food. She had to clean each bedroom of the royal Koopa family. When that was done, she had to wait on the Koopalings themselves, who were apparently gathered at the fortress as a small vacation for Peach's capture. Roy and Wendy were being particularly obnoxious as they lay under their sunning lamps.

"Hey, hag!" Wendy called out. "Where's my lotion?"

"Coming, Wendy!" Peach replied, hurriedly carrying the item. She was dressed in a maid's black and white uniform.

"Yo, P," Roy called, adjusting his pink-rimmed, black sunglasses. "I could use a drink over here."

"Right away, Roy," Peach said, handing Wendy the lotion. She ran out of the room and into the kitchen, where the stout, grey-shelled, brown-skinned Morton Jr. Koopa was waiting for her.

"What's a guy gotta do to get some food around here!" he whined. "King Dad is gonna torch you people."

"There's a cake being baked right now," Peach said, pouring a glass of punch. "It'll be ready in 10 minutes. You can share it your siblings."

"Forget that!" Morton yelled. "I want two cakes to myself." Peach ran outside with the punch, passing by other busy servants and slipped on a banana peel. She spilled the punch all over herself and heard laughing coming from the end of the hallway. There she spotted the Koopaling with spiky blue hair, Larry, snickering at his prank. Peach swallowed what little pride she had left and ran back to the kitchen as Roy could be heard yelling for his drink.

"Uh, Ms. Peach," a voice said shyly. She turned and saw Iggy, the Koopaling with thick, black-rimmed glasses and spiky rainbow hair. He was holding a tray with a pitcher of punch. "I got this for you."

"Thank you, Iggy," she said, taking the tray and running off to give Roy his drink.

It was rather late and Peach had not gone to bed. In fact, she outright refused to go to bed if it meant spending the night with Bowser. Instead, she stayed in the room of Lemmy and Iggy, who were also known as Hip and Hop. Lemmy was the smallest, though not the youngest, of the Koopalings and was always balancing on a colorful ball. Their room was not the neatest one Peach had seen, so her excuse for not going to bed was to clean up their room.

"Ms. Peach," Iggy said shyly as always, "You look tired."

"Yeah," Lemmy agreed, bouncing on his ball. "Your eyes are all red and stuff."

"Were you crying?" Iggy asked.

"No, I didn't have time to," Peach smiled bittersweetly. "My eyes are red from reading bedtime stories to Bowser Jr. for a few hours. He's an angel when he's asleep, but when he's awake he can be a brat."

"And a bully," Iggy said, rubbing his shoulder nervously. "Say, why don't you let us do the work? We don't mind."

"That way, you can get some sleep," Lemmy added. "You can take either of our beds. We don't mind sleeping on the floor."

"That's sweet of you two," Peach said graciously. "You've been so nice to me all day. I really do appreciate it."

"You're welcome," they said.

"I'm just going to go look at the stars on the balcony first though," she said, walking out.

"What do you think she's going out there for?" Lemmy asked.

"She's finally got some time to herself," Iggy frowned. "So she's probably going to cry."

Hip and Hop snuck down into the dungeon, easily bypassing the guards. It looked very much like the rest of the castle, except with poorer lighting. There were several cages with raptors in them, most of them sleeping. They came to a steel door guarded by two mutant Koopas. After dismissing the guards, the Koopalings cautiously entered. There was a single cell inside. To their surprise, the cage appeared empty.

"Did Dad give her to that Ganon guy?" Hip asked, rolling his ball back and forth to see inside.

"There wouldn't be any guards here if he did," Hop said, unlocking the cell. "She's probably hiding with some invisibility spell or something." When they entered and saw no one, they were disappointed. Suddenly something dropped behind them and closed the cell door on them. They turned around and saw Sheik walking toward the door.

"Hey, wait!" Hip called out. "Where's Zelda? We came here to get her out."

"She needed some time to herself," Sheik said quietly. "I'm taking her place for the time being. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

"Wait, don't go," Hop said. "This place is too heavily guarded for you to just walk out. You need clearance."

"I've handled guards before," Sheik said.

"But they'll set off the alarms the moment something is wrong," he continued. "We really want you to save Ms. Peach, so listen."

"Why would you care about her?" Sheik asked with a hint of anger in his voice. "Your kingdom is on the brink of complete victory, your father captured and married Peach, and now you want to take all that away?"

"Yes, sir," he said.

"We don't like what they're doing to her," Hip said. "She's a nice lady. She doesn't deserve any of this. We're not as good at being bad like the others. One time, Ms. Peach let us join a class she was teaching around here. We only got kicked out because our science project was too dangerous… She even gave it a good grade."

"Listen," his brother said. "Just let us out so we can escort you to the dungeon entrance. The Giga Koopas are scary, but they'll do whatever we tell them to."

Sheik stared at them for a moment and opened the cell door. "Don't try anything."

"Here, take this," Hop said, handing him a chain with a semi-hooked blade at the end. "The videos showed you using a chain. This one should be easier to use because it can hook into things and you can extend it as long as you need it to go."

"When we get to the dungeon entrance," Hip said, "go to the highest floor and to the balcony. That's where Ms. Peach is."

Peach leaned on the balcony and stared tearfully at the stars and full moon. The clear sky was so beautiful and serene. Judging from the many smiley-faced trees on one side of the fortress and the cliff over the sea on the other side, she figured that they were just outside the Forest of Illusion. She looked back to the cliff and sensed something wrong about it. Then she remembered that there had been a Star Warp Monument in that spot that could take a person straight to Star Road. Then she also remembered that Bowser had kidnapped the Seven Star Spirits, thus shattering the Star Road. She remembered how everything had gone so very wrong from the moment she was kidnapped at least a week ago. She did not even know how much time had passed between her being defeated by Bolt and put into a wedding dress. It could have been a month, as far as she knew. She began to break down into unrestrained crying from all the tragedies that had occurred.

Suddenly, a chain wrapped around the side of the balcony and its hook dug into the railing. She looked up and saw Sheik hop onto the balcony. "Peach, are you alright?"

"Sheik?" she said in disbelief. She ran to him and hugged him, still sobbing. "Oh, Sheik! I'm so glad you're okay! How did you escape?"

"A bit of help from Hip and Hop," he said uneasily, not expecting to be embraced so affectionately.

"Bless them!" she said, now crying tears of joy. "They've helped me all day."

"That's good to hear," Sheik said. "Now, let's make our escape while our absence is still unnoticeable." He took her onto his back and began to climb down the chain. He had made it long enough to get all the way to the ground. After that, it was a simple matter of avoiding the patrols.

With no definite destination, they wandered into the Forest of Illusion. Sheik insisted on carrying Peach, since she had been through enough already. The smiling faces on the trees were somewhat unnerving, but they were harmless. Sheik had taken her advice to just avoid the wildlife, such as the Wiggler caterpillars, since they usually only attacked after being attacked. It was a quiet walk for the most part, with an occasional owl hoot. Peach had become quiet. Sheik was not sure if she was asleep or not, but being so close to her gave him a few butterflies in the stomach, which had not been the first time.

"Peach? Are you awake?"

"Hmm?" She sounded as if she was half asleep.

"I have…a question to ask you," he said, growing nervous.

"Mmhmm?"

"I've been meaning to ask you this for some time now," he said, beginning to blush. "I…Do you…eh." He became frustrated with his own bashfulness. "Never mind."

After following the rough path through the forest for a while, they came upon a large old mansion. There were small fountains with star statues, weakly sputtering water. One large statue next to the front door appeared to be that of a cloaked woman holding a star that poured water into a pool. Sheik looked at the writing and noticed that it was the same script from the so-called "mysterious" star statue at Peach's castle. Of course, the writing was not mysterious to him at all, merely the message.

"In dedication to the Wanderer," Sheik spoke, reading the Hylian text. He looked up at the statue and saw that all parts of its face above the nose were covered in complete shadow. He also noticed a trickle of water flowing out of the shadow and down the statue's right cheek, as if the statue were crying. "Wandering sorrow…Does that ring a bell, Zelda?"

"Mmph," Peach grunted, readjusting herself on his back.

"Let's find you somewhere to sleep," Sheik said, entering the mansion.