Wednesday:
My stupid son Kalibak who is always trying to find ways to gain my approval, has returned from my newly conquered world of Almerac. He say's that everything is fine there, and asks if he can go to earth and kill Superman for me?
I tell him not just now thanks.
He asks if he can kill Superman tomorrow?
I tell him maybe and that we'll see.
He then asks if I want him to bring back fries and nuggets on the way back from killing Superman? I tell him to just go and get me some food now and not to worry about the Superman thing. I just haven't got the time or energy to deal with super heroes at the moment.
He then asks me if I think Wonder Woman likes him?
I tell Kalibak that this is unlikely.
Kalibak insists that she always looks at him.
I tell Kalibak that this is because he always drools and dribbles in her presence.
I shrug my shoulders and tell my son that Wonder Woman is way out of his league, and that I will find him a wife on the next planet I invade. In the meantime I tell him to try and study and become more intelligent, (completely futile I know but you have to try.)
Kalibak tells me he's been doing maths again. I know this is a lie because the last home tutor I employed for him quit. In fact every home tutor I have ever employed for Kalibak has quit ! Or died…
"Okay son," I challenge him, "What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
"That's easy!" Kalibak repliers, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"