PROLOGUE
Pod- Landing in progress... Please secure and fasten your seat-belts, and we'd like to remind you that this is a non-smoking flight, and please, als-
Louie: Shut up.
Olimar looked down. It has been only a week since he was here last time, in the planet inhabited by Pikmin. As he looked out the window, he saw that the ground was covered in white, fluffy-looking stuff that we call snow.
The three were on a mission to save Hocotate Freight, which ran into some financial difficulties. His job was to collect all the treasure, with the help of Louie and the Pod, and most importantly, Pikmin.
Pod- Landing successful. We will need a full day to start our quest, so go to sleep, idiots.
Olimar: There is no need to tell us, we know. Good night.
Louie: I ain't sleeping! I wanna play GameCube all day! I wanna pillow fight! I wanna eat! I wanna- zzzzz...
Olimar: He fell asleep. I'm sure I won't- zzzzz...
DAY 1- MEET THE (IDIOTIC) LEGENDS
Olimar woke up. It was day one, the first day of his mission. He slowly got up and yawned. He stretched his arms but there was not enough space. He was in a spaceship. Louie was next to him, still sleeping. There was saliva at the corners of his mouth. Olimar knew that he was dreaming about him eating bugs. Louie loved bugs. He even wrote a book containing all the recipes he came up with.
Olimar: Louie wake up. We don't want to be late on the first day.
Louie slowly stood up.
Louie: Damn. I was getting to the good part, where I put the Dweevil on the frying pan. You just HAD to wake me up, didn't ya, captain?
They both put on their space suites. They were about to go outside, on a world where there is a deadly oxygen: oxygen.
Olimar: Pod, get us out.
Pod- Bzrrt... initiating out sequence... get ready to be wildly thrown outside and crash-land on your head in 3... 2... 1...
Olimar and Louie were tossed outside and landed on their heads.
Olimar: What's that?
In front of them were four red Pikmin fighting a small bulborb. Four, one was sleeping far away from them. Olimar whistled and got their attention. The Pikmin remembered Olimar from the last journey, so they all ran and got to Olimar (yes, the sleeping one too). Olimar flung them on the Bulborb and it died. He quickly taught Louie how to command them. Louie seemed to understand. As the 5 red Pikmin came back to Olimar, they wondered what the ship was.
"Yo, homie, what the fuck is that there, dude?"
Another red spoke. "Joe, don't speak like that. Daddy is watching us from heaven right now. Oh, why did you have to die daddy, why?"
A third one joined the conversation. "How did your father die, Bob?"
"A big orange thing blew him away near a floating jellyfish that sucked him up, then it fell down and daddy got released, only to be greeted by a flying bug that grabbed him and threw him on the ground, where he lay until a big crab ate him, chocked, and spit him back out, hitting a big rock with two big arms that threw him away, landing on a beetle that carried him away, in a hole on the floor. Me and Joe watched him die, James, we watched him die!"
"Wow. Your father has been through a lot."
Joe said, "Well, dude, what is that like, colossally huge thing? It's like... colossally huge."
A forth joined. "I am hypothesizing that it is colossally huge."
"Shut up, you flippin' nerd."
"Don't call me nerd. I don't understand how you survived the battle against the Emperor Bulblax, you and your stupidity..."
"I told you, friekin' Leo, I put on my dirty sock and it just spit me out after it like, ate me, gosh. Dude, his tongue was like, totally nasty... After that thing tasted me it stayed away from me for the rest of the battle. Yeah, that was hip."
"Ooh, so that was not a bomb..."
The fifth one looked helpless. "Boys, who understands them? I, Christine, am the only girl Red Pikmin who survived the battle against the Emperor Bulblax and actually didn't die since Red Leader left off."
Well, finally the Pikmin came back behind Olimar. Of course, Olimar and Louie couldn't understand anything they said, and vice-versa. Olimar, who was smarter and wiser than Louie, decided that they should explore the place. So, he grabbed three reds and gave two to Louie.
Louie: Why do I get two and you get three? That ain't fair!
Olimar: I am far more experienced than you. Well, good luck. Let's go explore the place. Wherever you see 1 Pellets, let your Pikmin carry it back. Then follow them. We might find out where their onion is. I'll meet you there. You go left, I go right.
Louie and Olimar divided, and looked for the red onion. Louie had Joe and Leo, the idiot and the nerd. Olimar had Bob, James, and Christine.
Olimar went off to the right, and saw a small bulborb. He flung a single Pikmin at it, which hit it on the head. The bulborb died instantly. He threw the other two at the dead carcass and the Pikmin started carrying it back.
"Is it just me, or do I smell something?"
"It's the smell of the dead guy, Bob."
"Hm. Boys. Always talking about how things smell. First the stinky sock and now the dead bulborb. Red Leader just wants us to do all this stuff. Oh, well... which way was our onion, James?"
"This way."
Olimar followed the three Pikmin towards the onion.
meanwhile...
Louie found a small 1 pellet, and remembering what Olimar said, he flung a Pikmin at it. Then, he flung the other, and they started bringing it back. Louie listened as the Pikmin started talking a foreign language.
"Hey, dude, how 'bout we suddenly turn around and kill the Blue Leader? We could force him to cook himself so that we can eat him! I am just like, totally sick of the canned bread and fish..."
"Blue Leader may be dumb, Joe, but we shouldn't do something like that. Now, our onion is this way."
"How do ya know, punk? I say it's this way!"
"I'm the smart one here, and I say the onion is this way!"
"You're a nerd."
"Well, at least that's better than being a jerk!"
Louie looked at the 2 red Pikmin. One was trying to carry it towards a red structure, while the other was trying to pull it towards the water. Louie did not get it, and he got confused.
"It's this way! If we go where you think the onion is, we'll go in the water!"
"The onion is over the water, homie!"
"If we go in the water, we'll drown! Now, do what I do."
"Do what I do."
"OK, now come this way."
"OK, now come this way."
"Stop copying me."
"Stop copying me."
"It's not funny."
"It's very funny."
"I'm a nerd!"
"I'm... not saying that, homie! I'm a cool G-dog! Yeah! This is my hood, and I choose where to go!"
"God, were you born without a brain?"
"Gosh, think, you nerd! If I have a brain now, how can that be possible, homie?"
"What if you have no brain?"
"What if I do?"
meanwhile...
Olimar followed the three red Pikmin until they finally reached the onion. They left the carcass under the red light and the onion sucked in the bulborb. More seeds were released by the onion. Olimar plucked them out of the ground. Each new Pikmin called out his or her name when plucked for the first time.
"Mario!"
"Tim!"
"Devon!"
Christine hurried over to Devon.
"Yes! A girl! Hey, Devon, we can do all sorts of stuff now! We can color our fingernails red, and do all sort of girly stuff! And I finally won't have to sleep near BOYS anymore!"
"Uhm... Christine?"
"Yes, James?"
"Pikmin do not have fingernails. And by the way, even if we would have them, painting them red won't do any good, as nobody will notice that."
"Whatever."
Olimar looked in the distance for Louie and the other two red Pikmin. He found them. Olimar noticed that the two were carrying a red 1 pellet. He thought that Louie was doing a good job until he saw where the Pikmin were going to: a lake. Olimar quickly dismissed all six of his Pikmin and hurried over to Louie.
"Why'd he dismiss us?"
"Because he did, Tim."
"It's a Mario time!"
"I HATE THAT GAME! Mario, don't ever say that again."
"Why do you hate it, Bob?"
"Because it's well... too pink, Devon."
"What's wrong with pink?"
"Well, Christine, it's... it doesn't fit well with action and adventure. I mean, imagine a pink background with flowers while Mario is body slamming Bowser..."
"One day we will find pink Pikmin! We will!"
"Hey guys, red and Blue Leader are coming back with Joe and Leo."
"James is right. Look, everyone. Red Leader seems to be mad to Blue Leader."
Olimar: Louie! How many times have I told you not to go near bodies of water with red or yellow Pikmin? I told you that they would all just drown! I have also told you to read my diary I wrote while trapped in this planet the first time! Have you read it?
Louie: Olimar, captain, it is not my fault! I'm telling ya, the 2 mins were fighting over the pellet! See? It is all stretched out!
Olimar turned to see the pellet, but it was too late, as it was sucked in by the onion.
Olimar: Yeah, right. Let's just forget about it, but remember, learn from your mistakes!
Louie: Bah.
Louie and Olimar plucked the two new Pikmin.
"Billy!"
"Joanna!"
"Yes! Another girl! Come here, Joanna!"
"Coming, girls!"
"'Sup Billy dude! Come, I'll teach you how to snap your fingers even if you don't have 'em!"
"Cool!"
Olimar and Louie counted the Pikmin. There appeared to be 10 overall. Olimar decided to do the same as before, split up and look for more pellets and enemies.
Louie walked away from the lake with Joanna, Devon, Christine, Bob, and Joe. He soon found a big white gate blocking the way to a red 5 pellet. He tried to remember what section A67-12AB on Olimar's diary was like, and he finally remembered. 'To destroy white gates, either swarm Pikmin at it, or throw them there. The more Pikmin, the quicker the gate will fall. Also, if the Pikmin are flowers, they will work 1.5 times quicker than leaf. Bud Pikmin increase the speed by 1.25.'. He decided to throw rather than swarm, just because it seemed more fun. He threw them all onto the white gate. They started working instantly.
"Hm. Girls shouldn't be doing all of this work. Right, girls?"
"Yeah!"
"Right!"
"Girls, we are Pikmin, made to serve our masters with fun. Girls or not girls, we must work."
"Quiet, Bob."
"Hey, duda! Only I, Joe, can cuss at my brother or tell him to shut up."
"Thanks, Joe- Hey!"
"What is a duda?"
"What? You want me to call ya dude?"
"Oh."
meanwhile...
Olimar and his five red Pikmin (James, Mario, Leo, Billy, and Tim) walked towards the water. Olimar was careful and avoided contact with it. He stopped in front of a Dwarf Red Bulborb. He easily threw five on it and they all started carrying it back after killing it.
"Always working, ain't we?"
"You're right, James. We should rest sometimes."
"It's a Mario time!"
"Is that all you can say, Mario?"
"Bowser! You a goin' down!"
"OK..."
meanwhile...
Louie's Pikmin were bringing down the wall. A minute later they finally did. Louie swarmed them towards the 5 pellet, and they brought it down. Then, they started carrying it. Louie listened as the Pikmin started talking in a foreign language once again.
"'Sup fellas! Hey bro, let's kill blue guy, K?"
"Killing Blue Leader would not be a nice thing, Joe."
"Death is cool."
"Boys. Always talking about dead stuff."
"Shut up, Devon."
"Don't tell a girl to shut up, you no-brainer!"
meanwhile...
Olimar and his Pikmin finally got to the onion. The reds placed the carcass on the red light and three Pikmin were released and plucked from the ground.
"Luigi!"
"Karina!"
"Lauren!"
Olimar: Nice. Three plus ten is thirteen, and that's good.
Olimar noticed something shining. He walked towards it after dismissing his eight Pikmin. It was a DURACELL Battery. Olimar studied it and discovered that it needed twenty Pikmin to carry. Him and Louie currently had thirteen Pikmin, and as long as Louie was carrying back a red 5 pellet, everything was going to be OK and they could carry the battery back, as it was treasure and is worth money. Olimar looked back and saw Louie with his five reds carrying back a red 5 pellet. Olimar went back and ordered his Pikmin to help Louie's reds carry back the pellet. In no time the pellet was sucked in by the onion and seven Pikmin were released. Olimar and Louie quickly plucked them all out of the ground, and each said their name out loud so that everyone could hear.
"Sabrina!"
"Luis!"
"Robert!"
"Junior!"
"Lafunduh!"
"William!"
"Michael!"
Olimar: Well, what do you know. We have exactly twenty Pikmin. Good job, partner.
Louie: Yeah, captain.
Olimar: I saw a DURACELL Battery back there, and it needs twenty Pikmin to carry it back to the ship. It could be worth lots of money, who knows. Follow me!
Olimar lead Louie and the twenty red Pikmin to the battery and swarmed them around it to carry it back.
"This thing is heavy!"
"Yeah, Robert, I agree with you."
"I can't make it! We'll never get back to the large ship in time! The day is going to end..."
"So that's what the heck it is! I thought it was a washing machine or like, something. Thanks, Junior dude."
"Uhm... Joe... I still don't get the snapping without fingers..."
"I told you! Just grab a freakin' Dwarf Red Bulborb's toe and use it as your finger, gosh!"
"EWW!"
"Shut up, Karina!"
"Shut up yourself, idiot!"
"Gee, thanks."
"You seem to have taken it pretty well, Luis."
"I am used to it, Junior. Not that it makes me sad or angry, no."
"Here we are!"
The reds placed the heavy battery under the light and the pod sucked it in.
Pod- The artifact is worth... 280 Pokos. I decide to call it the Courage Reactor.
Louie: Cool! With 280 Pokos I can buy a house with a swimming pool, a backyard 200 yards wide, and eighteen bathrooms!
Pod- The day is about to end, and according to Captain Olimar's diary there are ferocious creatures that eat Pikmin here. You two go in the ship and sleep, after ordering your red Pikmin to go back to their onion. The onion should fly over here, so that tomorrow you can call out your Pikmin easily. Good night and GO TO SLEEP!
Olimar and Louie did as the Pod told them to do, and the Pikmin went to their onion.
INSIDE THE RED ONION!
"What's for dinner?"
"God, Lauren, shut up!"
"Shut up yourself, you Joe nimrod!"
"SHUT UP EVERYONE!"
Devon and Joanna came walking into the room, holding two giant plates with food on. They set both on the large table where all the others were waiting. The plates were neatly arranged, as both Devon and Joanna liked to make things neat.
"Today for dinner is... Two Dwarf Red Bulborbs, one spicy and with a beautifully arranged pellet, the other fried and with bread. There is also some pellet sauce if you'd like. All of you have to eat the oiled pellet, if you like it or not. You need your nutrients. EAT UP!"
Joanna and Devon sat down. All of the Pikmin reached across the table and ripped off a part of each Bulborb. The room was filled with talking and the blablablas. Everyone was chattering. Next to each others, the two brothers Joe and Bob, James, and Junior were talking about what might happen the next day.
"Hey, maybe we'll get to go in a cave! Remember, Joe, that time when we were trapped in that jellyfish's body? That was awesome!"
"Yeah, bro, I remember. Yeah..."
"Tell me about it."
"Well, Junior, me and Joe decided to get out of the onion one day. Obviously, you were not there. Joe decided to explore a cave, and I thought that would be nice, so we went in a place with lots of water. We could not swim, so we just avoided it. We got in a sublevel filled with floating jellyfishes. Joe, as crazy as he is, wandered off towards the biggest one. I hurried over to him as quickly as possible, but at that moment it sucked up both. The inside was actually great, we could see anything from up there. We were flying! And we also-"
"Yeah, dude. The place was like, jelly-fishy-like! It was full of jelly! DUD-"
"Joe, don't interrupt. Well, we got out thanks to a rock that fell from above. It hit the jellyfish and it fainted. Then we left. That was a beautiful experience."
In the meantime, DA GIRLS were chatting.
"Nice dinner, Joanna and Devon."
"Thanks, Karina."
"..."
"Lafunduh, why don't you ever speak?"
"'Cuz, Devon..."
"Well, have you girls seen the nice bracelet the six orange Pikmin were selling the other day?""Yeah, Sabrina, I remember... Once the leaders are going to be done with whatever they are doing here, maybe we can meet them again. Lauren, where did they live again?"
"Well, Christine, if I am correct, I would say it's at... Tree number 12867 in New Pik City. Yeah, they were on the tree and were selling beautiful bracelets, along with many other pendants, jewels, and rings. And the one of the guys who sold them was SOO cute!"
"I especially liked the golden bracelet with the little, although beautiful, heart in the middle!"
Devon and Joanna got up and grabbed the oiled pellet, which was on a large plate. It was untouched. Both of them got two spoons and started putting some in each plate of the twenty red Pikmin.
"Hey, Billy dude!"
"Yeah, Joe?"
"If ya eat my oiled pellet, you'll grow strong and cool! You can have it!"
"Don't trust him, Billy, I ate mine and nothing happened. It was good, though."
"OK, Robert, I won't."
"GOD! Now I hate to eat this crap?"
"EVERYBODY ATTENTION!"
Everyone looked at Michael, who just said that.
"We are soon going to be departing on a short voyage to the leader's ship! Everybody finish your dinner and clean the table! You have five minutes!"
Five minutes later, when the table was neatly folded away and everyone but Michael was sleeping, the onion started moving. Michael, the pilot, was piloting the onion, and in less than ten minutes, they reached the ship. On the way, Michael spotted a strange creature and had to make a sharp curve.
END OF DAY 1- MEET THE (IDIOTIC) LEGENDS
7/26/05- Edited the chapter... underlined, bold and capitalized headings. More detail in Christine's first speech. Louie says 'Bah' instead of 'grunt'. In the Pod's last speech it says something different. That's it...