DAY 7 (NM)- PRETTY BLUE FLOWER, THE HELLA RANDOM STAR WARS STORY, THE TRAITOR, FORREST IS RUNNING, THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, TIPSY LAND, LONELY LAND, WOAH MANY SWEAR WORDS, THE SINGERS, AND CAN ANYONE THINK OF A LONGER TITLE FOR A STUPID CHAPTER?

INSIDE THE WHITE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

The whites were building their machine, unaware that the purples were listening to every single word they were saying. They were almost done with their translator, and only a few more items were needed to complete it.

"Good job guys! We only need some more items to start up the machine. We somehow need the enough power to generate the machine into forcing it to breaking its unlocking mechanism thereby conducting power waves that are forced out of the red panel here, and that are sucked in by our mouths, and then act as a translator of the leader's voices, and since the voices are send out of their mouths and through the suit which blocks oxygen, we will be able to communicate with them because we breathe oxygen with poison!"

"OK GENIUS AND WHERE THE HECK DO WE GET THE POWER DUDE"

"Well, I don't know that..."

"OH WOW IM SURPRISED NOW"

"Anybody here got any ideas?"

Silence.

"I gotta go pee."

"You are dismissed."

Leonard started running to the bathroom.

"Just how can we-"

"Let's just force the bitches out there to talk like us. I mean, we have a sniper rifle, remember? And a knife, too! And a banana!"

"OK THATS JUST UNNECESSARY"

"David..."

"Wut?"

"He meant don't say that because it's not that nice."

"You psycho homie!"

"I mean, back to the subject, bathrooms-"

"How can bathrooms be in the subject, John?"

"We got two bathroom maniacs in here."

Leonard came back into the room.

"Anyone call me?"

"AS I WAS SAYING, bathrooms use a special mechanism to flush-"

"Oh my god, I think I know where this is going..."

"They flush by using this mechanical force that makes a tube filled with water break in two by simply pressing a switch-"

"You know, that really isn't helpful. We need something very complex and easy to manipulate at the same time. Something very good, something very, very..."

"You don't know."

"No."

"Kate, you haven't said anything this whole time. I'm worried."

"Indeed, Billy. Indeed-"

"Cut it homie."

"Indeed. I have an idea. What about solar power?"

Silence.

"GENIUS! Solar power! We just have to make some solar panels!"

"And how do we do that!"

"We use this prism to reflect it to a piece of paper with the preserved blood on it! The blood will change the light into power and ultraviolet. It will automatically eliminate the ultraviolet and deflect the power into the trophy which will strengthen the power and thereby power up the machine!"

"Yes!"

"Great idea."

"YOU KNOW GUYS SOMETIMES I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE I BELONG MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM NOT A NERD WHO-"

Silence again.

"OH WOW NOW IM JUST IN TROUBLE RIGHT"

All 21 whites heard Red Leader's whistle. Olimar was calling for 20 whites. NOW.

"All right, everyone go except for... Steven."

"Yeah!"

"Cool with me."

Everyone left, leaving Steven behind.

"OH SO THATS HOW IT IS HUH WELL I DONT CARE IM GONNA BEAT YOU ALL UP YOU SMALL MIDGETS COME BACK HERE AND LETS GO CMON LETS TAKE THIS INSIDE THE ONION"

"Boo."

"ARGGGGHHH"

OUTSIDE!

Olimar: OK Louie, we got 5 zombies, 20 whites, 15 purples, 25 blacks, and 40 reds. That should be enough.

Louie: 5+20 25 right?

Olimar: Good, you learn pretty quickly.

Louie: So it's 25+15 40 and 40+25 65 and 65+40 105? Captain, I thought that only 100 Pikmin are allowed to be out of their onion at once, according to this strange booklet I found on my desk...

Louie took the 'Pikmin 2 Instruction Booklet' out of his pockets.

Louie: Hey, it even says that I can get 12 FREE issues of Nintendo Power™ by subscribing to Nintendo Power™ and a choice of this Pikmin 2 hat or this Pikmin 2 Walkthrough! Let's call...

"And there I was, listening to this overweight dumbass talk in a language that us Pikmin find very prehistoric, and as I was standing there, I wondered, Could this fatty get any stupider than this?"

"Dude, Adam, shut up."

"And I asked myself, Why couldn't they greet me in a better way?"

"Whatever."

"Hey Bugg, why you got that name?"

"It's. Because. I. Am-"

"Yeah, good night here. You're hella slow homie. You just slow minded."

"Joe, shut up. He meant, are you just physically slow or are you slow-minded?"

"Leo nerd..."

"Don't call me a-"

"HEY EVERYONE, LOOK! I AM LEO AND I'M A NERD!"

"Shut up you-"

"Well. It's. Both. You. Wanna. Know. Why-"

"I can sleep here, this guy won't be done with a sentence yet. Friggin idiot. RETARD."

Author's note: Sorry, Adam and Bugg, but you know, it's hard to be a Pikmin. Try to understand. OK I killed it.

Olimar: Um... Louie? I don't care about the 12 FREE (!) issues of NP, but-

Louie: What's Anpee?

Olimar: ... What?

Louie: You just said Anpee. Who is Anpee?

Olimar: I said NP, short for Nintendo Power™... You idiot... Well, why 105 Pikmin, you ask? It's because zombie Pikmin break the rules, remember? And since there are only 5 zombies, there are 105 Pikmin out. Happy?

Louie: $100 and I will.

Olimar: Smell that, Louie... It's the smell of-

Louie: That is really classic. You're gonna say, 'Smell that, Louie? It's the smell of YOUR ROTTEN BRAIN, you bastard!' I heard that about 100 times before in my life. Wasn't that what you were gonna say, Captain?

Olimar: No.

Louie: Well, I was close, wasn't I?

Olimar: No.

Louie: Yes.

Olimar: I was gonna say, 'Smell that, Louie... It's the smell of spring, here at the Perplexing Pool...'.

Louie: No.

Olimar decided to just ignore the fatty and divided all the Pikmin in 2 groups. Olimar called to his side 3 zombies, 10 whites, 8 purples, 13 blacks, and 20 reds. Louie grabbed the remaining 2 zombies, 10 whites, 7 purples, 12 blacks, and 20 reds.

Olimar: Let's split up and look for that rubber ducky of hell. If you find anything interesting tell the Pod to communicate me what you found. And by interesting I did not mean tele-tubbies.

Pod- 'EYYYY! MEMBER ME HOMIES? TELE-TUBBIES! TIPSY! WINKY-

Olimar: No.

Louie: Aw... EVERYBODY IN THIS BITCH GETTIN TIPSY!

Olimar: What was that all about?

Louie: Nuthin.

Olimar: Well, whatever. You go right and I go left. Don't get stupid or anything like that. Be careful. Don't do drugs. Smoking causes cancer. Avoid talking drugs.

Louie: I can smoke all I want, I'm gonna get cancer anyways.

Olimar: For all of you reading this, just ignore this overweight fag. Please. Don't smoke. It's bad for you. And Coca-Cola, too. It's full of cocaine. And anyways, I don't think fat-belly-cancer exists yet. YET.

Olimar did not wait for Louie to respond and decided to split up instantly. He walked to his left. First thing he saw was a large footprint on the ground. He wondered what that was, but didn't care.

"Hey, that's the footprint that ol' homie Blue Leader g-dawg left yesterday after killin' that fat flying blob-like air-suspended overweight homosexual bug-like freak!"

"Wow. That's all I can say and it is all I'm gonna say it again. WOW."

"Hey, you know, looking at that hella big footprint reminds me of how fat Blue Leader really is. You know, that guy almost makes me feel less fat... It makes me think that I'm skinny..."

"Yeah, that'll be the day, Tony."

Olimar walked on and swarmed all the Pikmin against the wall on his right, as there was water on the left. In front of them now were three Dwarf Bulbears. Olimar knew that these guys would notice them while they were still far away from them and that they would not stop following their prey, no matter where they go. He grabbed two purples and threw them on the ground nearby the enemies. The three Dwarves were stunned and Olimar quickly swarmed the army against the three. They quickly died and he ordered 9 blacks to carry back the carcasses to their onion.

"Ice cream... Need... Ice cream..."

"Halo... Need... Halo..."

"SILENCE! I need silence! What is with Pikmin who are obsessed with stuff? You crazy idiots! Like being obsessed with bathrooms wasn't enough! Now Halo, Metroid, ice cream, food, Mario, Luigi, too! IDIOTS!"

"OK, that was like, the totally worst like, speech like, ever. I am like, soo popular..."

"You wish, Maria."

"Bah. I hate you all."

"Ashley, god. What is it with you?"

"Run Forrest run."

"OK..."

"LET'S GET TIPSY! AOHAAAALAOAOHOAHAOHAOGHAAAAHAAAAOALOAAAAAAAAAGHABNJSNLCN! AAAAAAA TIPSEEYYYYY!"

"omg dud dat lik ws hla rndm dnt do dat eva agn lik wat dj0 drnk"

"OK, he said, 'Oh my god, dude, that like was hella random. Don't do that ever again. Like, what did you drink?' Seriously, Dominic, that really was random. God."

"lol yup"

"I think you guys know what that meant..."

"I DRANK THE COKE AGAIN!"

"OK..."

"Dude, shut up."

"What is it with us Pikmin? Am I the only one that thought that we shouldn't fight, that we-"

"SHUT UP MAN!"

Olimar moved on and saw two large square blocks in front of him. He tossed a Pikmin on one of the two blocks and the other one rose. Olimar understood everything (and in case you don't, go play Pikmin 2 again) and tossed every Pikmin on the ground above except for one. Then he went on a block himself, and threw the lone Pikmin on the other block. He'll have to remember to get it back at the end of the day. He went on the ground above and whistled all Pikmin (except for the one on the block) and moved on. The lonely Pikmin sang to himself.

"Lonely, I am so lonely, I got nobody, all of my ownnnnn OOOOOOOOWN. Too bad I can't rap or else I would right now... Damn... Being lonely is THIS sad... Why did Red Leader pick ME to stay here? I mean, every other Pikmin loves me, couldn't he pick someone who everyone hates, like Justin? Or someone with no brains, like Joe? Why me? Oh well. I'll just tell a story to myself. A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..."

meanwhile...

Louie went to his right after arguing to himself for about an hour. He saw a group of Male Sheargrubs and decided to just go away without killing them to let them live. The Pod was really happy that he was not as racist as Olimar. He kept walking and on his right was a small lake.

Louie: And on your right, you can admire the beautiful lake as it is slowly tortured and killed by the poisonous crazy monsters that inhabit it on the deepest and darkest spots... Please enjoy. And remember, don't feed them. Keep the WILD in WILDLIFE. I'm not saying this for your safety, it's for the wildlife's and the nature's sanity and safety. We don't care if they might bite your hand off and you would be hurt, we care about the animal, now it can't get food on its own.

"God, WHY CAN'T WE UNDERSTAND HIM?"

"Who'd want to understand that piece of garbage? I bet he's saying stuff like, 'And on your right, you can admire the beautiful lake as it is slowly tortured and killed by the poisonous crazy monsters that inhabit it on the deepest and darkest spots... Please enjoy. And remember, don't feed them. Keep the WILD in WILDLIFE. I'm not saying this for your safety, it's for the wildlife's and the nature's sanity and safety. We don't care if they might bite your hand off and you would be hurt, we care about the animal, now it can't get food on its own.'. But what are the odds that he's actually saying what I just hypothesized? I mean, come on, the odds are like, 1 to 100.

"Indeed."

Louie kept on walking and saw a small puddle of water that separated the land he was on from the land on the other side. On the other side, he could see an unmade bridge. He somehow had to make the bridge from the other side, but if he threw the Pikmin on the other side, they might fall on the water and die, and Louie had enough of Olimar always bugging him and being soo desperate just because a PIkmin died. Then he had an idea. He dismissed all of the Pikmin in a safe area.

"What the-"

"Why is he dismissing us?"

"Is he crazy?"

"Now what is he doing?"

"I dunno."

"AAH! These Sheargrubs! They are eating us away!"

Louie didn't notice, but three Male Sheargrubs were eating Pikmin quickly. Five were gone. Finally Louie noticed and killed them with a nice body-slam. The whole entire planet shook.

Louie: Wow. 5 deaths.

Louie walked on the water and crossed the puddle. Now he was on the other side of the land. Far away he could see a large fat piece of trash with its butt on fire. Luckily it was asleep.

Louie: When that thing's gonna wake up, it's gonna have a bad surprise. I mean, if I would wake up and find my butt burning I'd be very surprised. Hehe... I'm funny...

The thing was still kinda far away so Louie had enough space to do what he wanted to do. He faced the unmade bridge and backed up slowly. The Pikmin on the other side were looking.

"What the heck is that fatty trying to do?"

"I don't know. Blue Leader seems unusually stupid today."

"And fat."

"Yes, that too."

When he thought he had backed up enough (he was hitting the wall), Louie started to concentrate. Then he started running at full speed (about 4 mph) at the bridge.

"They call THAT running?"

"Tony would."

Louie was still running/walking. Finally, he reached the unmade bridge and hit it with full power. They call THAT power alright. But Louie still didn't get what he wanted, as the bridge literally exploded.

Louie: DAMN! Why does this kind of stuff always happen to me? I just wanted to make the bridge to connect both sides, not make it explode! What do I do now?

Louie decided to just not tell Olimar about it and go back to the landing site. There he saw many idle Blacks. Louie thought they they had returned with a couple of enemies that Olimar assigned them to kill and 12 blacks were now in the black Onion. And OH WOW. That's just what happened.

Louie: OH WOW I'M SMART!

meanwhile...

The lone Pikmin who remained on the blocks was still telling the same story to himself.

"And then he met Soda. The green doll-sized curious Jedi master of all time. He had two large ears to hear better, two large teeth to eat better, and two large eyes to spy on people better. Then, out of nowhere, while they were chatting through AIM (AOL Instant Messenger), a Greater-Spotted Jellyfloat appeared. Soda got trapped inside. 'Grab the Laser-Sword-Thingy and kill this bitch, faggit!', he said. Puke did as told and grabbed the sword. He pressed the switch to make the laser appear but since he was holding it backwards, the laser went right through his body. Blood was everywhere. 'NOOOO', cried Puke, but it was too late. He died. Poor Soda, who was still trapped inside, was very ashamed of himself. 'OK, Root-Beer-Float, let me down now...' The Jellyfloat gently spit him back out and then Soda got food poisoning and died a month later. The Smith beat the Rebellion and all the Jedi died under the mighty might and the terrible fist of Lord Wader! The Smith Lord was really happy and threw a party. Unluckily, during the party, he was a DJ and while he was scratching the disks, he accidentally set off the electricity and killed everyone but Wader in the room. Wader got mad and grabbed the Smith Lord and threw him in a box. He closed it and wrote 'FRAGILE' on it and threw the box away in the thrash. Now Lord Wader could rule the Empire, but he also got food poisoning and died. To be continued..."

meanwhile...

INSIDE THE WHITE'S SIDE OF THE SHIP!

"OH WOW THEYRE NOT EVEN BACK YET"

Poor and dumb Steven was still alone in the white's side of the ship. Suddenly he heard this noise on the purple's side of the ship, which was right next to them. Then, the phone rang. Steven was afraid to answer.

"WHAT IF A VOICE COMES OUT AND SAYS 7 DAYS"

Then he thought, what the hell, and he answered it. It was a purple.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT DUMBASS"

"You're Steven, right?"

"YES DUMBASS"

"And you're alone."

"YES DUMBASS"

"We heard that you said that you didn't feel like you belonged in there, with all of those nerds around you."

"YES DUMBASS"

"Right?"

"DUH DUMBASS"

"You guys are building a machine to translate what the leaders say, right?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT DUMBASS"

"We overheard your conversation"

"OH DUMBASS"

"And we thought..."

"WHAT DUMBASS"

"Us purples want to steal that machine and use it for our own. And we thought... Do you want to join us purples and steal that machine when it will be done?"

"WHY WOULD I DO THAT DUMBASS"

"You said... You didn't belong with the whites."

"YES DUMBASS"

"We're different. We are not nerds."

"PROVE THAT DUMBASS"

"If I wanted to be really stupid then I could."

"I SAID PROVE IT DUMBASS"

"HOW ABOUT THIS NOW IM A TOTAL DUMBASS"

"OK I BELIEVE YOU"

"Good. So do you want to join us?"

"HMM OK DUMBASS"

"Great. What you have to do is wait for the whites to finish the machine."

"OK DUMBASS"

"Then you will steal it and hide it somewhere safe. Then we will tell you the rest."

"OK DUMBASS"

"Great."

"WAIT WHATS IN IT FOR ME DUMBASS"

"OK, what do you want?"

"I WANT I DONT KNOW DUMBASS"

"I can give you money, games, food, weapons..."

"WHAT KINDS OF WEAPONS DUMBASS"

"We got snipers. Lots of them."

"ALREADY FOUND ONE IN HERE DUMBASS"

"Well, we got machine guns..."

"MACHINE GUNS COOL WHAT DO THEY SHOOT DUMBASS"

"They shoot potatoes."

"SERIOUSLY DUMBASS"

"No, not seriously. They shoot tranquilizers."

"OH WOW MACHINE GUNS THAT SHOOT TRANQUILIZERS COOL ILL TAKE THOSE BUT HOW DUMBASS"

"Let's talk about that when you're done."

"NO NOW DUMBASS"

"Later."

"NOW I SAID DUMBASS"

"I SAID LATER, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

"WOAH COME DOWN HOMIE NO NEED TO CUSS OK LATER DUMBASS"

"Yes."

"YES DUMBASS"

He hang up now. Steven was actually kinda happy. The traitor.

"MWUAHAHAHA cough ERHEM"

meanwhile...

OUTSIDE!

Olimar also went back to the landing site, and there he met Louie who was just standing there, doing nothing. Louie was literally becoming a round ball. He was becoming fatter and fatter every day. Olimar knew he had to do something. He thought of something but decided to tell him later.

Olimar: Louie, seen anything?

Louie: Umm... Well...

Olimar: Well?

Louie knew that he had to say something so he started to look around the place and see something that he could have told Olimar about. He saw the broken bridge, the footprint, an eyeball, a lone Pikmin, a yellow blob of fatness, a mag, an artificial food coloring box, and a blue flower. He decided to go with the flower.

Louie: I noticed that there was that blue flower over there.

He pointed to the flower.

Olimar quickly told Louie to follow him and he grabbed all the Pikmin with him. Together they went to the flower.

Olimar: A Blue Candypop Bud! Louie! GENIUS! WE CAN GET BLUES! Louie, I don't hate you after all!

Louie: Tell me something I don't know...

Pod- This is called 'Sequence Breaking', because we found a way to get blue Pikmin without even finding the onion! And since we did that, the game will be glitched up and when the blues will bring enemies back to their Onion, it will be sucked in by nothingness, and then the game will think that there is a blue Onion so it will instantly appear, and when later we will discover the actual blue Onion, it will instantly disappear and regenerate while the onion that was glitched up will still be there and it will sprout new as a blue paint thingy that eats my metal and grabs grass while stomping the air.

Louie: That was the most RANDOM thing I ever heard.

Olimar: Yes, all that could happen, unless we first find the blue Onion. And guess what, it's right in front of us.

That was true. Right in front of them was the large pool and in the middle of it was the blue Onion and five blues joyfully jumping around. I know its not the same area where you would normally get the blues in Pikmin 2, but I thought, what the heck, who cares. Olimar dismissed everyone and told Louie to follow him. Together they went up close to the five Blues and whistled. All five went next to them.

"Look, look, its Hell Leader! And a new Leader, let's call him Heaven Leader! Yes! Right, everyone? Right? Right? Ain't I right?"

"Shut up, Ken. Or I'm gonna annoy you to hell."

"Vivian, you are retarded! GAWSH!"

"Napoleon, shut up. Vote for me, Pedro!"

"Shut up, just shut up, shut up. Shut up, just shut up, shut up. Shut it up, just shut up, shut up."

"Oh wow, Mike, always with those flipping songs, GAWSH!"

"That was taken from 'Shut Up' by the Black Eyed Peas. I luv dat song."

"Vote for me!"

"Sweet..."

"I'm gonna annoy you! Am I annoying? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Ain't I annoying, mommy?"

"YOU GUYS ARE RETARDED!"

"I'm gonna cry. You guys are just so stupid."

"Time moves on, WIPE YOUR EYES, yesterday lies, tomorrow cries!"

"From 'Can't Repeat', by The Offspring. Crazy rock!"

Olimar: Louie, go back to the rest of the group and go to the landing site. Return all the blacks and the purples. I'm gonna make more blues. And make it quick, the day is about to end.

Louie: YES MA'AM!

12:00 OF DAY 7 (NM)- PRETTY BLUE FLOWER, THE HELLA RANDOM STAR WARS STORY, THE TRAITOR, FORREST IS RUNNING, THE GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, TIPSY LAND, LONELY LAND, WOAH MANY SWEAR WORDS, THE SINGERS, AND CAN ANYONE THINK OF A LONGER TITLE FOR A STUPID CHAPTER?