DAY 8 (NM)- THE RUBBER DUCKY LIKES THE SAND
Yup.
INSIDE THE SECOND FLOOR OF THE SHIP!
Olimar woke up because Louie was snoring hella loud today. Even louder than the other days. It was still 6 AM. He didn't know what to do. He tried going back to sleep but Louie's snoring was just too much.
Olimar: That snoring breaks the sound barrier!
He decided to make some breakfast, so he opened a door. Louie's snoring was now even louder. Wind was blowing in and out of his mouth. To avid being sucked in Louie's mouth, Olimar had to hold on to the doorknob. He got out of his room and finally into the living room/kitchen. He walked over to the kitchen and stood by the refrigerator.
Olimar: Now, time for a good breakfast!
He looked through the fridge. There was nothing except for empty milk cartons, empty beer bottles, and used cups. Sign that Louie was there. On top of the fridge was the freezer. Olimar opened it and looked in it. There was nothing except for ice. He closed the freezer. Louie again.
Olimar: The fridge and the freezer were full of stuff yesterday! Louie's diet starts today all right... Louie is not eating anything this morning. Wait until that fag wakes up and I'll...
Olimar went through cupboards. Nothing. He found a half-eaten cookie, though. It couldn't keep on going like this. Olimar woke the Pod up by pressing a switch next to the lights switch.
Pod- MORNING, R!
Olimar: Morning... Hey, I wanna go to that desert place today. Start going there but make as less noise as possible. And tell the red and the blue Onions to follow us.
Pod- 'EYY! SURE THING BABY!
Olimar: ...
He sat down and got some playing cards. He started counting them to check if there were all of them.
Olimar: 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26?
The 26th card was half bitten. The 27th card was also half bitten. There were no more. Louie.
Olimar: Louie eats cards? That's new...
He decided to watch some TV so he stood back up and walked over to the sofas. He looked for the remote but couldn't find it. He looked under the chairs, tables, and the sofa he was sitting on himself. He finally found it in between the pillows.
Olimar: At least he didn't eat the remote...
Olimar pressed the ON switch but the TV wouldn't work. He tried again but it was still off. He tried pressing all the other switches. Same thing. He turned the remote over and opened it. There were no batteries. The whole interior was full of saliva. LOUIE.
Olimar: Batteries, too? Wow.
So he stood up and manually turned the TV on. At least that worked. He walked back to the sofa and sat down. The channel was set on the Food Network. Olimar was bored of the stupid chef picking his nose and then putting olive oil on ice cream (actually, he was more disgusted than bored) so he changed channel. He forgot that the remote didn't work so he had to stand up and walk over to the TV and manually change channel. Finally he found something interesting and sat back down. On TV was a thriller. It was about to be the climax of the story. Then, the words 'POD IS SPEAKING' appeared on the screen.
Pod- We arrived at the sand place, homie! YAO!
Olimar: DAMN IT! It was getting to the good part!
When the screen went back to the movie, the words 'THE END' were stamped across it.
Olimar: Great, Pod fucker. The movie's over.
Pod- 'EYY! R'S GETTING RACIST HUH? YAO!
Suddenly the loud snoring sound ended. Next thing they heard was a loud 'BAM' and the whole ship shook.
Olimar: Louie got out of bed.
Louie's room's door slowly opened and through came Louie wearing his size XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXLLL boxers on and a white shirt almost 10 times the size of Olimar.
Louie: Hey, what's for breakfast? I'm starving... Oh, and I forgot to tell you that I took a small midnight snack.
Olimar: You call wiping out the fridge, freezer, a dozen of playing cards, 29 cupboards, and 2 batteries a SMALL snack?
Louie: Don't forget the legs of the chairs.
Olimar: Your diet starts NOW! Screw 'Don't have to move a finger'! Follow me!
Olimar started walking and opened a door. Louie actually made it through the door. WOW. Now they were in a gym. Olimar walked up to a machine that strengthened the ABS.
Louie: I never knew there was a torture room in the ship...
Olimar: It's a gym! Now sit down on that thing and start pulling the handles towards you while with your feet you pedal!
Louie sat down and started pedaling. He grabbed two handles that were hanging from above and pulled them towards his chest. He got tired in two minutes...
Louie: Dude, this thing's supposed to strengthen your ASS? It's hella hard! Can I get a Big Gulp™ 2 liter soda break?
Olimar: ABS...
Louie: It's hella hard! Can I get a Big Gulp™ 2 liter soda break?
Olimar: You're gonna get a water break once you lose 10 pounds!
Louie: SAY WHAT? 10 pounds in a day? Are you crazy?
Olimar: SHUT UP AND KEEP PEDALING AND PULLING THE SHIT TOWARDS YOU! Actually, I'll show you that I'm not trying to torture you. Look, there's the same machine you're on right next to you. I'll get on it and do the same thing you're doing. Watch.
Olimar went to the machine that was next to Louie and started pulling the handles towards him and pedaled. Olimar was going about 10 times quicker than Louie and could endure.
Olimar: See? I can do it, you can too!
Pod- NO HE CAN'T! HOME G-DAWG BOY-A! LISTEN TO DA POD HERE! Yo blue shit!
Louie listened to the Pod.
Pod- Do what I say and you'll lose pounds in no time! Don't eat!
Olimar: -.-
Louie ignored the Pod and kept on pedaling. He was starting to sweat even though he had been working out only for 7 minutes now. He was trying to get his mind off what he was doing. So he concentrated on food.
Olimar: Partner, want to listen to my iPod? I got some cool rap and alternatives in there.
Louie: Sure...
Olimar stood up and walked over to the door and grabbed his iPod, which was hanging on to a doorknob using the Lanyard. The iPod was in a purple sock.
Olimar: It's the U2 edition. I got earphones.
Louie: BUT I HATE EARPHONES...!
Olimar: No headphones will fit your big, empty head.
Olimar put the earphones on Louie's big ears and turned the iPod on.
Louie: Nananana... Lalala... Nana... Nice song, what is it?
Olimar: 'Get XXX'd', by J-Kwon, featuring Petey Pablo and Ebony Eyes.
Louie: What...?
Olimar: 'GET XXX'D', BY J-KWON, FEATURING PETEY PABLO AND EBONY EYES!
Louie: OK...
Louie was -trying- to sing along to the song but wasn't doing any good. He was bad. He sucked. He sucked so bad at singing. He was worse than me. He sucked hella bad. He was the worst singer in the whole entire universe.
Louie: 'Cause it can GET PRETTY extreeeeeeme in theee GHETttooooooo...
Olimar: Louie, SHUT UP, YOU SUCK!
An alarm clock started to beep but Olimar didn't care. That was the alarm to tell themselves that it was time to go outside and start the day. Olimar thought that it was more important for Louie to work out and get that fat piece of shitty fat out of his chest.
Pod- Time to go outside and start da day!
Olimar: Louie must first lose 10 pounds.
Louie: ...
Pod- DUDE, remember? You get to keep any money you make!
Olimar ignored the Pod and changed the song on the iPod.
Louie: Nannana, nananaNA! What is this? I know this guy!
Olimar: It's "Pimpin' All Over The World", by Ludacris, featuring Bobby V..
Louie: The world, the world... The world...
Olimar: Pretty cool song, huh? I love it. It's very funny.
Olimar checked the small screen on the machine Louie was working out on. He had been doing that for 15 minutes, has lost 687.2 calories, ran for 10.1 miles and was currently pedaling at a speed of 23 kilometers per hour. Olimar decided to go outside and start the day once Louie will have burned about 1000 calories minimum. Louie was sweating hella bad now.
Louie: Help!
Olimar: Shut up, you piece of obese trash.
Louie shut up and resumed pedaling and pulling the handles towards him. Olimar was just bored. There were no windows in the room and he wanted to see outside and look at the desert. So he stood up from the chair he was sitting on and walked towards the door. There were a couple of switches on the wall and he pressed a couple. Then he turned around and looked at Louie.
Olimar: I programmed the Pod so that if you try to get out of the machine or stop for even 1 second it will electrocute you. So you better not stop.
Louie: Waah.
Olimar opened the door and the moment he closed it behind him Louie screamed. Olimar sighted. Then he climbed some stairs and went in his SECRET room upstairs. He looked out the window. The desert was endless. Olimar wondered how in hell there could be a rubber ducky here. He got bored of the desert and decided to go back downstairs and check on Louie. So that's what he did. He opened the door and saw Louie. That is, the remains of Louie. His hair was burned up and all black. Sparks were flying everywhere around him while he was pedaling. His eyes were twitching and he was listening to his worst favorite dong, 'Boulevard Of Broken Dreams', by Pink Week.
Louie: This is the good life...
Olimar quickly turned off the electrocuting system and walked over to Louie. Luckily his suit was made of rubber and the electrocuting lasted just a little while. Olimar accidentally set it to 220 volts.
Olimar: Hehe...
He checked the screen on the machine and it said... 10,000 calories? While Louie was being shocked, his feet moved about 10 times quicker than before and must have pedaled and pulled a lot.
Olimar: OK Louie, you can stop now.
Louie slowly stopped and got out of the machine even slower. You could notice a big change in him. He was even trembling.
Olimar: Pod, scan him and tell us his stats. NOW.
Pod- 'EYY, NO NEED TO BE ANGREY! Scanning... His stats are:
Dimensions of the upper muscular system in body phase #1- 10
Dimensions of the lower absurd son of ABS #1- 12.611
Maximum and minimum upper and lower mustache's non-muscular perimeter (intercepting) refrigerator's added and combined anchored cookie mixed with a fragrance of the internal tissue bone system hyper boosted up by the electrocuting system (221.18 volts) 's circulatory external exoskeleton's stainless gaze's endless rightly wrist-pain's intoxicant ectomorph metamorphosis' lucid oxidized flavor inhaled with the help of boorish and harpy miasma's nucleotide infrastructure- 102.999
Louie: You make me feel dumb...
Olimar: English, please!
Pod- ... He's 3 inches tall and weights 201.11 pounds.
Olimar: Woah, we're making some progress here, huh? Yesterday you weighted about 400 pounds, and in one day you became 200! But remember what your goal was?
Louie: Um... 500 pounds?
Olimar: No, you still overweight empty-headed freak. 15 pounds! HEAR ME? 15 POUNDS IS THE AVERAGE WEIGHT FOR A 3 INCH DUDE! OK? UNDERSTAND? ARE WE CLEAR?
Louie: Yes... OOH I'm gonna tell the president on you for screaming at me! OOH! OOH! OOH!
Olimar: The president screams at you all the time, I'm sure he won't mind.
Louie: You're just scared that I'm gonna tell the president! You're just hiding your fear behind that crappy imitation of seriousness and self-esteem! OOH! YOU'RE DEAD NOW!
Louie stood up.
Louie: Pod dude!
Pod- Yay, home dog!
Louie: Hook me up with that fat president of mine!
Pod- Yeah, man! We cool dawgs! Dialing!
Olimar: I'm surrounded by idiots...
Pod- He's there!
President- Hello? Who the heck is it?
Louie: MR. PRESIDENT!
President- Aah, it's my least favorite worker, Louie! Hope it's going bad for you!
Louie: Thank you for the warm welcome. Well, I called you because-
President- MAKE IT QUICK! ALL RIGHT? OK? ARE WE CLEAR? DO YOU UNDERSTAND? HUH? ANSWER ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! ANSWER ME I SAID! ARGHH!
Louie: I was saying-
President- DON'T YOU DARE TALK BACK TO ME! OH NO, YOU DON'T HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THIS! I TALKED TO YOU! ANSWER ME! NOW, I SAID! NOW! GHAA!
Louie: I called you because Captain Olimar here screamed in front of my beaten up face.
President- OOH... Poor guy... Your face go burn burn ow ow?
Louie: Yes...
President- It's OK, let me talk to Olimar in private. Louie, I'll promise I'll do something about it and he'll never da any bad things to you. Now if you please, get the fuck out of this room and let me talk to the Captain! GHAAA! MWUAHAHAHA!
Louie left, with his eyes wide open in horror and fear. Olimar closed the door.
President- Two things, Olimar, two things.
Olimar: What, sir?
President- First of all, it's getting pretty late. Why are you still on the ship? You know I desperately need that rubber ducky! I NEED my wife and my children back! Not because I miss them, because they got all of my money and it's tax season now, how the heck am I ever gonna get enough money to pay the damned taxes? So after this speech I want you out there looking for my rubber ducky.
Olimar: Yes sir! What was the other thing?
President- Second, good job for screaming at Louie. You are gonna get paid 120 Pokos a year instead of 100. Good job again. President OUT!
Olimar: Good bye and good luck with the taxes, sir! Thanks again!
The president hang up.
Olimar: What a nice guy...
Louie came back into the room.
Louie: I bet he screamed at you! Didn't he? Haha, the Captain is in trouble! Haha! You can't scream at my face again! Haha! LOSERR! HAHAHA! What now? OOH, diss!
Olimar: ... Let's go outside and look for that rubber shit.
Louie: MWUAHAHAHA! Yellow thing is pretty cute little rubber ducky, nana lalala sing with me, Olimar!
Olimar: OH. MY. GOD. STOP.
The two went outside, leaving the iPod and the Pod alone. The Pod floated over to the iPod and sat next to it. The Pod got closer.
Pod- So... You single?
OUTSIDE!
Olimar got out of the ship while Louie fell and landed on the burning sand.
Olimar: Let's just get 80 reds for today.
Louie: OK.
Louie started singing. Olimar couldn't take it. He called out 80 reds and then went over to Louie and slapped him HARD. Louie was still singing.
Louie: The rubber ducky of death, Olimar can't hear me he's deaf, OOH the rubbery ducky has left, GHAA! I'm singing! GHAA! MWUAHAHAHA! LOUIE'S MY NAME, THAT IS, BEFORE OLIMAR CAME! HE CHANGED MY NAME, I THOUGHT IT WAS A GAME! OOH, BLABLABLA, nana, lalala, haha...
Olimar slapped Louie.
Louie: You know about that couch that is for sale at Hell-Mart? It's only 10 Pokos now! Ever thought about buying it? And what about that piano that plays itself? That's just deaf!
Olimar kicked him.
Louie: I read in the newspaper that a car married a carrot...
Olimar: POD! GET OVER HERE!
The Pod hovered over to them. Olimar pointed at Louie and the Pod examined him.
Louie: My mom always told me that when the sky had drunk enough water then it would pee out rain and sometimes when it's really cold the pee turns white and very cold!
Pod- Yes, he became very random.
Olimar: Yes, I know that...
Louie: One day, I went in a pool and I was like, cold and then I like, choked on the water but like, the water wasn't cold. Then I like, saw this guy swimming and I was like, 'Do you like soup?'.
Pod- It's probably because of those 220 volts of electricity that went through his body. He has brain damage. Luckily it can be fixed.
Louie: If you add cheese and ham together you get a sandwich with salami in it!
Pod- Analyzing brain...
Louie: Louie Louie Louie, that's her name, she's hot and gooey! Oh no, she's not gay, but she likes to chew hay! YAY!
Pod- His brain thinks that he's a 78 year old woman that likes boloney and who lives on Tallon Overworld...
Louie: One day I like, met like, this really hot girl, and like, I asked her name, she was like, 'Samus' and I like, wanted to take a pic of her because she was like, very ugly and like, everything went black and then I was like, in the hospital...
Pod- I must take him in the ship. He can't work today. You do everything. I even think it's better that you just go, because I mean, you can't work with this retarded idiot.
Olimar: OK.
Louie: Hey, ever heard the one about the keys and the horse's beer in a milk carton that was left on the barn's roof inside that small town near that swimming pool place thingy? It's a good one! YAYAYA! I want cocoa puffs! With rum!
The Pod hovered at a quick speed and hit Louie on the head.
Louie: I want my choo-choo...
And he fell, knocked out. The Pod somehow dragged him in the ship. Olimar just didn't understand and decided to just ignore everything that had just happened. Just just just. Olimar noticed a lone blue with his group. Louie must have accidentally taken it out. Olimar decided to let him stay with the reds and then Olimar started searching around.
Olimar: Why would there be a rubber ducky in a friggin' desert? God, stupid Louie...
And he kept on searching.
"Hey guys, somehow I don't feel like I belong in this group."
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK, you're blue and we're red."
"Oh, so now you're getting racist, huh!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"UH-UH."
"NAH-AAH."
"You two shut up, dammit."
They shut up. Olimar didn't know where to look... The whole damned place was a desert. It was the biggest desert Olimar had ever seen. And the sand was big, too. It was bigger than the ones at Hocotate. Maybe it was small for the organisms that once lived on the planet, who knows. He kept walking until he stepped on a surface that was different than the sand he was walking on. Olimar reached down and discovered a map that was buried with a small layer of sand.
Olimar: It looks like it's a map. Maybe its the map of this place. It seems much more detailed than that half round thing that we found in the first cave. Who knows, we might need it.
Olimar grabbed the map and put it in his giant pockets. Then he resumed walking.
"Just what the heck are we doing in this damned hot place?"
"I dunno."
"SHUT UP!"
"?"
"That was kinda random."
"Well, my hypothesis indicates that we are here to actually scout around and find a yellow duck-like creature that doesn't have the ability to communicate or bring up enough metamorphosed power to move."
"Bless you."
Olimar couldn't take the heat. He felt like he could melt right now. He was losing his energy. He was about to collapse when he saw a lake. A black lake. He remembered it. It was...
"THE COKE! YAOOO! WE'RE COMING BABE!"
Don started running away from the group, disobeying the red leader. He was heading for the lake. Olimar knew that that was the Pikmin who first ever drank the black stuff. He also knew that...
Olimar: IF I DON'T RUN THERE THAT RED WILL DRAIN THE WHOLE LAKE!
Olimar started running, with his 80 other Pikmin following him. Don was already drinking from the lake. Olimar was running like crazy. His body was dehydrated but he had enough power to run. His tongue was out of his mouth and he was running like a dog. No offense to all the dogs who are reading this. Well, Olimar finally got there and started drinking like crazy. Finally the 80 others arrived. For absolutely no reason everybody started drinking, too.
"GHAA!"
The whole lake was drained. Olimar looked up and saw two small pearls on the dried-up lake. He knew what those were and he made 3 red Pikmin carry one, while a blue carried the other. EVERYBODY was drunk. Yes, even our Olimar. If you are reading this, let me tell you, don't do this at home.
Olimar: OH MY GOD!
While the Pikmin were bringing back the pearl and Olimar was following them, Olimar noticed... the rubber ducky. It was on the sand. Olimar quickly ran to it and the Pikmin followed him.
Olimar: SUCCESS! THE RUBBER DUCKY-
Then it started sinking in the sand. Olimar just watched while his eyeballs popped out of his eyes (...). The rubber ducky sank until it was not visible anymore.
Olimar: ...
It was the real thing. But it sank deep into the sand, to be seen again (...). Olimar was just shocked. His eyes were popping out as he had just seen the impossible. The reds and blue put the pearls under their Onions and a blue and 18 red seeds were ejected. Inside the red Onion, 32 No Names were made, and in the blue Onion, 49 NNs were made. Olimar plucked the blue seed first and then the 18 other red seeds.
"Elvis!"
"Jack!"
"Aufferstay!"
"Sonic!"
"Annette!"
"William II!"
"Chris II!"
"Tyler VI!"
"Jaime!"
"Sam!"
"Will!"
"Maxwell!"
"Chloe!"
"Ken!"
"Natasha!"
"Kelly!"
"Dude!"
"Boy!"
"Girl!"
It was getting late so Olimar 'retreated' into the ship after mistakingly running into the door.
INSIDE THE SHIP'S SECOND FLOOR!
Olimar was still drunk. He opened the door and saw Louie sitting on a lone chair in the middle of a dark, dark room. Louie noticed the door opened and turned and looked at Olimar.
Louie: You look like Hitler.
Pod- I gave too much of the medicine to cure him, now he's drunk. Hopefully it will last for a short time, maybe even one night, but after that he will be all right. R? R?
Olimar was walking like a drunk man while singing. He grabbed a chair and sat down next to Louie. They both started singing two different songs. The Pod was confused.
Pod- Um...
The Pod hovered over to them. Then he started singing, too, a different song. They sang all night until the iPod got tired of it and electrocuted all three of them with a 200 volts ice cream...
END OF DAY 8 (NM)- THE RUBBER DUCKY LIKES THE SAND
HELLA random chapter, hope you liked it. And yes, that was the real rubber ducky that sank into the sand, it was not a mirage. But you'll find out more in the next chapter... Sharkking, I'm 100 sure that I will not include Brown Pikmin in my FanFic. Yes, I read THE ARMY and I think it's a great story, but I will just not use browns. If you want your Pikmin to come out as a different color, I can arrange that... MWUAHAHAHA! That's all! KirbyXtreme' is here to remind you to REVIEW THIS FANFIC!