PROLOGUE
Anakin felt old. No, that wasn't it. He felt wise, like he had seen the entire galaxy and beyond. He didn't need to listen to Master Yoda's lectures—they were long and boring anyway. Besides, he already knew everything.
He looked around the training room, examining the other Padawan Learners' faces instead of paying attention to Master Yoda, secretly wondering if they had ever joined a Podrace, or had even been to one. Most of them had probably never left the Jedi Temple before. Anakin smiled inwardly and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. He pictured himself on a battlefield surrounded by hundreds of enemies, defending his wounded master. They would fall one by one under the graceful strokes of his lightsaber. And as he lifts his master from the ground and carries him back to the Temple, his master will finally admit, "I'm sorry, Anakin. I've completely underestimated you." The Jedi would give him a warm welcome home and celebrate his victory. And after a night of feasting and drinking, he would return to his beautiful—
The sound of Darra's giggling next to him interrupted his reverie. He blinked and sat up. Master Yoda was floating above his head, waving his three-fingered hand around and muttering something that sounded like a strange incantation. It took Anakin a while to realize that the little green Jedi Master was making fun of him.
"Meditating in my class, indeed this young Padawan was," announced Master Yoda to the class. "Learn from him, we should."
More giggling, this time from the entire classroom. Anakin felt his face burning with anger. A horrifying thought crossed his mind and he quickly erased it. He would suddenly have done anything to leave the place. Anything.
"To find a quiet place to meditate, do you wish?"
Anakin took the chance. He didn't even respond—he simply dashed out of the room. His muscles were aching from the morning training session, but he thought he had never run faster. When he ran, he felt free, as if his anger couldn't keep up with his pace. Before he could even realize he had no idea where he was headed, he found himself crashing directly into Obi-Wan.
About twenty datapads fell to the floor and skidded across the corridor.
Obi-Wan groaned, bending over to pick them up without even glancing at Anakin. "Oh, why do these things still happen to me?"
Anakin stood there motionlessly, watching his young master crawl around to reach the datapads. "Why don't you just use the Force?" he suggested, unsure of whether he should leave or help.
"The Force should not be used for—Anakin?" Obi-Wan finally turned, and several of the datapads he gathered dropped again. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be training with Master Yoda and the others?"
"I was excused," muttered Anakin uncomfortably. It was sort of a lie, but then again… "Master Yoda asked if I needed a break."
Obi-Wan eyed him doubtfully, but gave in. "Well, all right. Help me carry these datapads to Madame Nu."
"Why are you doing this anyway? Don't the droids take care of these things?"
"The droid broke down," explained Obi-Wan. "It's still in the other hall. I figured it would be easier to just bring these myself instead of trying to fix the droid."
"I could try," offered Anakin. He desperately needed to fix something at the moment. "The Archive is awfully far from here. Just show me where the droid is."
Obi-Wan sighed and stood up. The pile of datapads in his arms wobbled a bit, but they didn't fall over again. "Pick up those other pads first," he said, heading for the next corridor. "It's right beyond the door."
For once, Anakin was glad to obey. He gathered the remaining datapads and followed Obi-Wan through the automatic doors. The droid seemed to be in good shape, except for the fact that it wasn't moving.
"I turned it off," said Obi-Wan, putting the datapads down and motioning for Anakin to do the same. "It was going in strange circles."
"Did you check if a part of it fell off? Sometimes, missing pieces can skew the balance, even if it isn't part of the main system."
"I'm pretty sure everything is intact. I think several of your fellow Learners were tinkering with it this morning. They must've rewired something."
Anakin chewed his lip, pretending to focus on examining the droid. In truth, he was feeling slightly jealous—he was supposed to be the one tinkering with the droids. He should be the one getting scolded by Obi-Wan right now. But the other boys had gotten there before him.
Obi-Wan wasn't talking anymore, but Anakin could still feel his master's presence. The unnerving feeling soon turned into anger when he found he couldn't concentrate. For the past few months, ever since he had met Obi-Wan, Anakin was never able to impress him. It seemed as if the more he tried to be impressive, the more ridiculous he appeared. And it bothered him immensely because Anakin knew he was better than this.
A warm finger brushed his ear and he jerked around a little more violently than he intended.
"You're angry, Anakin. You don't need to do this."
Anakin tried to put on his best innocent expression. "It's okay. I'm just trying to figure this out, that's all."
Obi-Wan smiled a little, and Anakin noticed for the millionth time the way the corners of his eyes wrinkled slightly whenever he smiled. His master had beautiful eyes, and Anakin secretly promised himself to tell Obi-Wan someday.
"You can't fool me, Anakin," said Obi-Wan. "Even if you could successfully shield your emotions, your ears give you away. They turn red whenever you're frustrated."
Anakin silently cursed his flushed ears before deciding to ignore Obi-Wan's acknowledgement. But beneath his annoyance, he felt something else—something that confirmed his place in the Temple. He missed his mother, Qui-Gon, and even See-Threepio, but he was never aware of how much he missed the feeling of being home until now.
The rush of affection for Obi-Wan was perhaps not so surprising after all. Anakin's mother had always said he could find something to love in just about everyone.
"So what was it that made you so angry before you bumped into me?"
"Oh, i—it was nothing." Anakin paused, hoping he didn't sound too embarrassed. He was hardly paying the droid any attention, even as his nimble fingers worked through the central wiring. "Listening to Master Yoda drives me crazy," he added casually.
This time, Obi-Wan frowned. "Master Yoda may not sound very interesting, but you'll learn the importance of his teachings in time."
"That's what all the masters say!" cried Anakin, throwing his arms up in exasperation. By this point, he had completely forgotten the droid. "All of them, and now you. But Yoda never even says anything that we don't already know! It's always the same stuff about not having desires and being one with the Force… Do we really need to hear all of it again? It feels like brainwash!"
"Anakin—"
But Anakin was to preoccupied to have heard him. "And why all the running and exercise during training sessions?" he continued. "I want to fight, Master Obi-Wan. I want to fight something real! Whenever I'm holding a lightsaber, I feel like I'm ready to take on anything! But we aren't even allowed to take the lightsabers out of the training room!"
Obi-Wan shook his head sadly, but Anakin couldn't find any sadness in those grey eyes at all. They were empty. Empty and beautiful as ever. "You haven't learned anything. That is why Master Yoda repeats his lessons. Be patient. Someday, you'll learn to control your emotions, and you'll understand why we all tell you the same thing."
For a moment, Anakin almost pitied his master. He was just like the Padawan Learners, clueless to the world outside the Jedi Temple. Suddenly, Obi-Wan seemed very far away. Anakin wondered what might happen if Obi-Wan just disappeared and left him on his own. Perhaps he'd find an older and better master who would recognize his talent—someone more like Qui-Gon. But would it make a difference?
"I'm not forcing you to fix this droid. You can go back to class if you'd like."
Anakin shook his head stubbornly. "It's easy to fix," he said. "I'm just distracted. It's hard to work with your master watching over your shoulder." It was meant to be a joke, but Anakin wasn't sure if Obi-Wan took it that way.
"You don't like me very much, do you?"
"Well, do you like me?" asked Anakin, partly to avoid the question and partly out of curiosity.
"I do," said Obi-Wan. It was hard for Anakin to tell whether or not he was lying. "I can't describe why I like you—you're quite obnoxious most of the time."
Obnoxious. That was something Anakin had never been called before. He was surprised how much it stung. Adults had always loved him—he was smart, diligent, and willing to help. Couldn't Obi-Wan see it? Anakin found himself desperately wishing Qui-Gon were still alive. Qui-Gon would love him and train him and treat him like a son instead of simply handing him over to Master Yoda and exchanging an average of less than ten words a day.
Anakin suddenly felt very tired and depressed. He wanted nothing more than to run back to his mother. She was growing old and she would need his help later on. Why should he become a Jedi and protect the galaxy? He had only agreed to become a Jedi to be with master Qui-Gon, to make his mother proud. But Qui-Gon was dead now and his mother wasn't there to see him.
He felt Obi-Wan's warm hand on his shoulder. His first instinct was to pull away, but he didn't. The grip almost reminded him of Qui-Gon's.
"I know I'm not who you want me to be," said Obi-Wan gently, as if he could read Anakin's mind. "But we've both made a commitment to the Jedi Order. You need to trust me, Anakin. Master Qui-Gon would have wanted you to quickly learn from the past and leave it behind."
"But I can't—"
"You can. Someday you will." Obi-Wan stopped and turned away, looking toward the far end of the corridor. "And so will I."
He said those last few words so softly that Anakin wasn't even sure if he'd heard them right. But just hearing Obi-Wan's voice soothed him, as much as he didn't want to admit it. It was as if Obi-Wan could reach out and touch someone whenever he spoke.
"Go back to class now," said Obi-Wan. He released Anakin's shoulder and helped him up. "Leave the droid alone. You can build an entirely new one later if you wish. Master Yoda is waiting."
Anakin stared at the broken droid for a moment before wordlessly making his way to the door. He wasn't angry anymore, but he was feeling something else. Anxious? Afraid? The missing piece was within his grasp, and he was aching to see the completed puzzle. He spun around and faced Obi-Wan, who was busy with the datapads again.
"Master?"
Obi-Wan looked up in response.
"I like you, too."