Author Notes
WARNING
This chapter contains conversational inferences of torture and sexual assault. There are no explicit details, but the content of the conversation is obvious.
Hermione Granger was hugging Professor Severus Snape. When the realisation of the situation made it through the Professor's muddled brain, he immediately released his responding hold on her.
'What is she doing? Why am I allowing it,' he thought, as he gave himself a mental shake.
"Miss Granger, remove yourself from my person," he said scathingly.
"Yes, Professor Snape," Hermione replied. Unhurriedly she disentangled herself from his body, she picked up her book, and resumed her reading.
"Miss Granger," Severus said, he voice now held a warning tone.
"Yes, Professor Snape?"
"You are still touching me."
"I know." She smiled at him, and returned to her book yet again. She was sitting up against his side.
'Get away from me Miss Granger! NOW!' Severus Snape's conscious mind raged. 'Why aren't I saying it to her?' he wondered to himself. He completely ignored the part of his mind that was vying for his attention with it's insistent urging, 'Don't move Hermione. Stay.' No he would not, could not, even acknowledge the existence of those thoughts in his subconscious.
'He's letting me touch him! Does that mean he's accepting my... is it caring? Yes, it is. I really do care about what happens to him. Is it friendship? He and I actually do things I like together, unlike my other friends. And half the time he doesn't even snark at me. Does that make us friends? How does one consider Professor Snape a friend? I've never heard of him having even one friend. Ever. Maybe he doesn't want friends. Well, we're going to be friends whether he likes it or not! It's different though. Harry and Ron are friends, and touching them doesn't feel like touching him. He still hasn't pulled away, and oh my, it feels so good to touch him.' She shivered delicately in response to the physical contact.
"Are you cold?" a deep baritone voice questioned softly from beside her.
'No sarcasm, no derision, no snideness, no snark... and my father hasn't even been giving him alcohol. He's looking at me. Oh no! Brain freeze! What do I do? What do I say? He cares if I'm cold? How could I be cold when we are touching? Don't say that Hermione!' she warned herself. 'What am I reading? Dark arts? Okay...'
"No, no. It was just something I read."
Severus nodded in response and went back to his own book.
'He asked if I was cold. He pressed closer to me thinking I was cold. I think I'm going to pass out. I need... I need... I need to breathe. Okay, in. Out. Slowly. Don't hyperventilate. Don't let him notice. That's better, I'm not going to pass out if I breathe. What is wrong with me?'
A little later the candles lit with a whispered incantation and a wave of Severus' hand. They had enough light to continue reading. Which they did, late into the night, sitting close enough so that they were touching the entire time.
Severus Snape woke feeling uneasy. Something was wrong. He snapped his eyelids open and only his years as a spy kept him from exclaiming or flinching in surprise. Not six inches from his face, was Hermione Granger's face. She was obviously kneeling on her cot which was positioned against the side of his bed. It was the only space large enough for it in the room. However, the startling part was that she rested her chin on her hands, with her elbows splayed one on each side of his pillow, as she leaned near him and stared. No, she wasn't staring, she was scrutinizing him.
'What the in the name of Merlin...?' his sleep addled brain exclaimed.
Aloud he managed to hiss, "What do you think you are doing?"
She did yelp in surprise. She hadn't realised he had awakened.
"Well you certainly don't believe in waking by degrees do you?" she asked, somewhat breathlessly.
"Miss Granger, I am rapidly losing my patience," was his dour response.
"I was waiting for you to wake up obviously," she huffed.
"Why would you be doing that?" he asked sardonically.
"I've been thinking."
Severus Snape closed his eyes and allowed himself a pained groan, "Miss Granger, what could you possibly be thinking about at dawn?"
"Actually I've been thinking about it for most of the night."
"Of course," he said with a satisfying amount of derision. His derision was unfortunately completely ignored.
She climbed up on his bed and lay down beside him.
Professor Severus Snape was utterly shocked. "Miss Granger - " he snarled.
Hermione cut him off, "What? I can talk to you better here. I'm always in Harry's bed and he doesn't have a problem with it." She laughed. "Harry and I often talk in bed." She paused thoughtfully, and a triumphant grin spread across her face. "Wait a minute, we read in your bed most of the day yesterday."
"That was not, in bed, Miss Granger. That was on the bed. We did so merely because there is no other passingly comfortable place - "
"Are you going to get over this so we can talk?"
"Why you impertinent-"
"Yes, I am. I can be now that you're not my teacher. There is nothing you can do about it," she declared.
He lifted himself up on one elbow, looked directly into her eyes, and raised a challenging eyebrow, "Oh really?"
"Er, well, what I mean is you can't deduct points or give me detention or - "
Severus lay back down resignedly. "What did you want to ask me?"
"Why did you tell me what they do to you at Death Eater meetings? I mean if you aren't allowed to tell the others in The Order?"
"I am allowed to tell The Order anything I wish."
"But you haven't, have you?"
"No."
"Oh?"
"Albus knows of course, but I do not have to 'tell' him."
"Madam Pomfrey must know."
"She is unaware of any details."
"Then who takes care of you when you get back from a meeting?"
"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself Miss Granger."
A thoughtful silence ensued. Severus was just beginning to relax when Hermione spoke again.
"Will you tell me more?" she asked gently.
"What do you want to know?" he said with a reluctant sigh.
"Tell me about the last time you went before... What do you call him, The Dark Lord?"
"Yes, I refer to him as The Dark Lord. To his face I am required to call him Master, or My Lord, if he is feeling magnanimous."
"You are impossible, do you know that?" she asked him as she playfully swatted him on the arm.
He glared at her. 'Is she being... What is she being? Friendly? No. She can't be. No one is friendly with me.' His thoughts were interrupted by Hermione's rephrased question. "Tell me about the last time you had to go to the Dark Lord."
"Why?"
'So that I can understand what you go through. So I can understand you better,' She responded in her head. What she said aloud was, "So that I will have a better understanding of what goes on. Of what they do to you. You did say you are allowed to speak of it."
"Yes I am," he responded. What he thought was, 'However, no one has ever asked me. No one has ever wanted to know what I have to endure.'
They were side by side, a few inches apart, and each was staring at the ceiling. Neither one spoke for a few minutes.
Eventually Severus Snape's low resonant voice broke the silence, "We met on a deserted moor, at midnight."
"That sounds like the beginning of a cheap Muggle novel," Hermione teased him, in an attempt to put him at ease.
"Indeed. That is the Dark Lord's style. He is nothing if not... cliché."
"I'm sorry I interrupted, please go on."
"Very well. It was a dark and stormy night..." he drawled, sarcasm dripping from each syllable.
Hermione giggled.
He smirked.
'Is he teasing me back? Oh, wow!' Hermione thought, her heart racing.
After a time, he said very quietly, "Nothing I can tell you will reassure you. The things they do are beyond human decency. Speaking of human decency the Ministry recently - "
"I know. Tell me."
"You will not be distracted will you? Why would you want to know?" he asked suspiciously.
"Now that I am member of The Order, I need to know everything I can." She paused trying to keep her response impersonal. She did not want to jeopardise his willingness to talk. "To be prepared."
"It is not fit to tell," he growled.
"Tell me," she urged gently.
'I am actually going to tell her. What has come over me?' he thought.
"The last time I was called before the Dark Lord, I was late answering the summons. The Dark Lord cast the Cruciatus on me for my tardiness. Two, perhaps three times, it is unclear. It seemed like forever, but it was not long enough to do permanent damage. My services are still too valuable for that," he scoffed. When he continued his voice was completely devoid of emotion, "He had a family captive." He paused in thought. "You do not need to know this," he said vehemently. His mind forming a silent plea to be spared the telling of it.
"No I don't need to hear, but I think it would be beneficial for both of us if you can tell me," she responded quietly.
He nodded curtly. "They held captive a Muggle-born witch and wizard, as well as their young child, who was perhaps two years old. The first thing they did was dispose of the bright little boy. He served no purpose for them, and he represented all that they hate. It was Lucius Malfoy who killed the child, he was quick. It was unlike him to show such mercy in front of The Dark Lord. Perhaps the beautiful blonde child reminded him of Draco. The parents were insane with grief." He paused, to compose himself. He wouldn't allow the pain to show in his face. "I was ordered to brew a Confusing and Befuddlement Draught to end the woman's suffering before it began. It would seem that my slight of hand was observed. I was beaten by the inner circle, it was worse then usual. I thought this time I might be granted death... but, no. The Dark Lord believed my attempt to spare her torture was because I am squeamish, not disloyal. My life was spared so that I could continue to spy on Dumbledore and Potter for him. I was put under the Imperious. The Dark Lord cast the curse on me himself. I could not throw off the Dark Lord's Imperious Curse. He cast it himself because he knew that I would be able to resist if any one of the others had cast it on me. I was forced to brew the concoction correctly. I was then forced to administer it personally. This is unusual, I have never been forced to participate in any way. I act only as a spy and a Potions Brewer for the Dark Lord. However, this time as an antidote to my supposed squeamishness, I was forced under the Imperious to watch, up close. I was forced to personally hold her down while they... while they - " He paused and closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again he spoke in a flat tone, "You do not need the details, nor will I cause her to suffer posthumous indignity by retelling her tortures in detail. Suffice it to say that when they were all finally done with her, they moved away to physically torture the wizard. The Dark Lord was done with me, and he lifted his Imperious from me. They moved on, and forgot about me. By this time the Confusing and Befuddlement Draught had worn off. The terrified witch was completely aware again. I cast some spells to ease her physical pain. I am sure they were only marginally helpful. I soothed her as best I could, I covered her exposed and battered body. I held her off the cold wet ground, but there was nothing I could do for her emotional pain. She died like that, listening to her husband's screams." He fell silent for a moment. "I had brewed the potion. I had done my part. The Dark Lord allowed me to leave, to attend to my spying duties; after a few parting bouts of Cruciatus for my disobedience of course."
"Surely you couldn't care for yourself when you returned in that condition?" Hermione asked quietly.
"No, I made it back to my chambers. That is where Albus found me unconscious. The beating left me with serious internal injuries, and I had some nasty knife wounds as well. Albus brought in an outside healer. I do not know who he was. I recovered."
"That isn't the only time it's been that bad for you is it?"
"On other occasions, the school Matron has tended my serious wounds."
"But you never told her what you told me." It wasn't a question.
"No, you are the only - "
Hermione reached over and took Severus' hand. He immediately snatched it away and hissed viciously, "I thought you wanted information Miss Granger. Well now you have it." He was shaking with the force of the emotions he was struggling to control.
Hermione was startled by the change in his affect. "I did. I do, but - "
"It would seem that your insolence knows no bounds," he spat.
"I, I care. I want - "
His face contorted with rage, as he exploded, "No! Get out! Get out and stay out!"
Hermione ran out of Severus' room, slamming the door behind her. She didn't stop running until she was downstairs and outside.
Severus paced in his room. He was unable to process his feelings. He had confronted his demons before, but never had they affected him so. 'What does she do to me? I had to answer her. I had to answer her honestly. What is wrong with me? That is it! I can not allow this to continue. It has gone on far too long already. For the first time I am saying 'no' to Albus. I am going to resign from this task, it is unseemly. Someone else is going to have to take over her 'orientation'. Someone else can play Albus' little game with her. I will not do this. I can not care what happens to her. I do not care for her, I - ' Severus Snape's thought's were interrupted when he heard sounds of a scuffle coming from just outside. "Perfect," he muttered, "it would seem Albus' scheme is commencing." He threw on his cloak and swooped out of the room heading down the stairs. From the stairwell Severus could hear a man's voice, bellowing madly.
"You filthy Mudblood whore. I offered you marriage. I offered you my name. And what do you do? You refuse me. Me! You turn me away. And now you are spreading yourself beneath that Death Eater."
"Jeremy, no..." Hermione's voice pleaded.
Severus hastened his pace.
"Do not lie to me Hermione! I've been watching this house. You spend your nights with Snape! I know you finished your N.E.W.T.s. I wonder what it is that he teaching you now? Let's see what you have learned under him, shall we? I will teach you what happens to Mudblood whores. Snape may have had your virgin blood. Your virgin blood that should have been mine, but I think I can still make you bleed," Pryce ranted insanely.
At that Severus began to run full out.
Severus heard sounds of curses being cast as he neared the bottom of the stairs. When he careened into hall where Mrs Black's portrait hung, it began to scream and spew obscenities at Hermione who had just come in. "Do not bleed your filthy blood on the floor of this house! Too bad you still seem to be breathing Mudblood! Maybe not for long if we are lucky - "
Severus saw Hermione standing just inside the front door looking out, her wand clutched tightly in her hand. He didn't hear another word the foul portrait issued. He approached Hermione with his usual silent grace.
The instant Hermione realised that she was not alone in the Hall she whirled around. In the same motion her fist made contact with Severus' nose. As he wasn't expecting it, he was thrown back with the force of her punch. He landed unceremoniously on the floor.
As soon as Hermione realised who it was she had hit, she rushed to him. As she knelt by him she began apologising. "Oh no. I thought you were him. I thought you were him. I'm so stupid. How could you be him? I could see him out the door. I was so afraid, and I didn't know it was you. I would never hurt you."
At this Severus peered around Hermione and looked out the front door. Jeremy Pryce was laying on the ground outside. The obvious recipient of Hermione's wrath, and it would seem several well placed hexes as well. Severus realised Hermione was still talking, rather fast for her.
"I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to. I would never hurt you. I would never hurt you," she repeated in an agonised tone.
"You..." he began lividly. His voice trailed off when he noticed the condition she was in. Her clothes were torn, and not from a normal scuffle. They had been ripped by hand. Where her skin was exposed bruises were blooming amidst bloody gouges and welts. His voice softened, "Are you all right?"
"Of, of course, I'm fine. We need to take care of your nose."
"You are not fine. What happened?" he asked, almost gently.
Tears began to well in her eyes, but she did not cry. She just shook her head in the negative.
"Miss Granger - "
"No! If I can't be considerate of you without being thrown out of your..." she trailed off and looked at him. "You are never considerate, what are you doing?"
"First I am distancing myself from that... portrait. Are you coming?"
"Yes, she is awful isn't she?" Hermione smiled weakly at him.
"Indeed."
When they entered Severus' room Hermione grabbed the field pack she had brought from her parent's house. "I think there is something in here that might stop your nosebleed and-" She never got to finish her sentence.
Hermione slowly opened her eyes. The last thing she remembered was looking for something to help Severus' nose bleed. She had no idea where she was right now. The room was dark, but not totally. Some sunlight was filtering through a boarded up window. There were dark shapes about the room, perhaps furnishings, but she didn't take time to really notice as her eyes fell on Severus. He was lying on the floor to her left. She inched over to him. It was not easy, in the few places where she felt no sharp pains, her body ached with every movement.
"Professor? Professor Snape? Sir?"
He didn't respond. Louder she called, "Severus!"
Still he did not move. She leaned down so that her mouth was by his ear. "Severus, Severus please," she implored.
He groaned in response this time. His eyes opened, and he spoke in a hoarse voice, "Hermione?"
She could tell that he was in much worse shape then she was. "What did they do to you Severus?"
"I'm not entirely sure," was his ragged answer.
"We seem to be in a deserted building of some sort." Severus struggled to look around. "Don't try to move yet," Hermione instructed.
"Umph," was the only answer Severus could give, as he fell back down from his attempt to sit up.
"I thought they were only supposed to use harmless spells?" Hermione asked. She knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from Severus.
"Perhaps they were over eager. Then again, perhaps Albus wanted to make it even more authentic. I would not put it past him," Severus responded in a pained whisper.
Hermione lay down. "Sorry, it hurts. We're free to move, the room must be warded so that we can't leave," she hypothesized.
"I would assume so," he concurred.
"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully.
"Hmmm indeed," he snarked.
"I wonder... Let's see if we can get our captors in here. Do you have those portkeys?"
"You have already formulated a plan?" he asked derisively.
Hermione smiled. "I think so. We are expecting two, right?"
"That is what Albus led me to believe."
"How are you? We can wait if you need some time. Actually I need some time, but I'd rather do then wait. I hate waiting."
"I am painfully aware of that aspect of your personality," he drawled, before wincing in pain.
"If I can get them in here can you take one out, if I get the other?"
"How would you suggest we do that? Have you forgotten that we have no wands?" he asked snidely.
"Really!" she huffed. "I know you can do wandless magic, I saw you in my first year. When you were keeping Harry from falling to his death from his broom. I had to use a wand for the magic I performed on you, but I can do that spell without a wand now and - "
"You? It was you who set me on fire!"
"Well obviously. I have a penchant for fire, so to speak. If I can get them in here I will set the robes of one of our captors on fire. How will you take out the other?"
Severus was looking at her with a calculating gleam in his black eyes. "A penchant for fire? That was you?"
"Yes, yes. Now - "
"You set me on fire?"
"We've established that. Honestly! We are wasting time."
"I will take care of the other," he didn't choose to elaborate.
"All right. Are you ready then?"
"How are you going to get them in here?" he asked.
Hermione grinned mischievously, "Have you ever seen any cheesy Muggle films?"
"Certainly not."
"And I'm betting our captors haven't either. If they were actually Death Eaters my plan would simply annoy them in to us. I would give them a burning desire to put me out of their misery." She smiled at the thought of annoying Death Eaters. "However, as these are Aurors I may cause them some concern instead of just annoyance," she explained, as she positioned herself behind the door.
Severus followed, and was soon grimacing in pain and covering his ears. Hermione's shrieking would scare a Banshee to death. She shrieked non stop. It was a very high pitched, blood curdling sound.
The door opened and two wizards entered the room. Hermione rushed one, and Severus took the other. Wandless curses were cast simultaneously.
"Impedimenta!"
"Incendio!"
One captor was on the floor, the other dancing around him as flames licked his robes.
Immediately Severus incanted with bold assurance, "Incarcerous." The two captors were magically bound. The flaming one joining his compatriot on the floor.
Hermione hurriedly pulled Severus' cloak off him, and put her fire out with it. She ripped strips of fabric from the hem of his cloak and gagged the bound captors.
She looked up at Severus, to find him staring at her with a raised eyebrow. "What? They might be able to do wandless magic too. I had to make sure they couldn't speak, just in case."
Severus just stared at her.
"Oh for Merlin's sake. It's not like you're naked. I have never seen anyone wearing so many clothes in the summer. A cloak, teaching robes, and all the layers of your suit." She tsked in chagrin. "Perhaps if you unbuttoned your frock coat sometimes - "
"If I unbuttoned my frock coat what?" he cut her off.
"Nothing, nothing. Do you have those portkeys?"
"They are in my cloak that you destroyed. Along with some potions."
Hermione searched the remains of the cloak and found the portkeys. She held them out to Severus. He took them with a questioning look.
"Well I'm not searching them for our wands," she said.
Severus knelt down and proceeded to do just that. "They do not have our wands on them," he told Hermione.
"I'll go look for our wands, while you send them home." She got up and left through the open door the wizards had burst through.
A few minutes later, Severus found her downstairs in the front Hall of the ramshackle building.
"No wands anywhere," she said despondently. "I did find my field pack though."
Severus came up to her and opened the pack. He put several bottles in it, they were the potions he had recovered from his cloak. "We need to leave now," he said urgently.
He opened the front door and looked out cautiously. He motioned for Hermione to follow him, and they made their way to the edge of a forest.
"I think our best chances are through this forest," he told her.
"We just have to get home now. Why the - "
"I have reason to suspect that those were not Aurors," he told her.
As they entered the trees together Hermione whispered, "Not Aurors? Then you mean they are... oh no."
"It is a possibility. If that is indeed the case then we are in more trouble then you could possibly imagine. I sent them to Albus regardless, the portkeys were set to exclude us, but they were effective for anyone else. Either way, sending them to Albus was for the best."
They were a little way into the forest and Hermione stumbled on a tree root and fell hard, hitting her head on a sharp rock.
Severus turned and let out an exasperated sigh. "Take my hand, we will be much faster if we do not have to stop and pick you up every few feet," he said irritably.
Severus and Hermione made their way deep into the forest. There was not much light filtering through the trees making the forest floor was a veritable obstacle course. Many times Severus had to steady Hermione by their clasped hands. Much to his disgust she steadied him in the same way a couple of times as well.
Several hours later they stopped in a small clearing beside a stream. Hermione sank to the ground and just lay there.
Severus knelt beside her. "Are you all right?" his tone held an unusual gentleness. He seemed almost concerned.
"No."
"Here, sit up. Let me see if I can help you."
Severus had to assist Hermione to a sitting position. She still had the injuries from her confrontation with Pryce, as well as the repercussions from the curses their captors had used. Her most evident injury, however, was the deep gash on her head from her fall. Severus opened the field pack and removed some potions. He also took out the canteen.
"I performed some charms on the items you got from you parents. Do not tell the misuse of Muggle Artifacts department." He leaned over her and smiled into her eyes.
That got her attention. She raised a tentative hand and towards his cheek, then she thought better of it and dropped it. She spoke instead, "You have a beautiful smile."
"Your head injury must be worse then I first thought," Severus diagnosed. "How hard did you hit your head when you fell?" His tone was surprisingly light, and held an almost teasing quality.
"Severus Snape has a charming bedside manner? I must be delusional," she teased back.
"I need to get some water to clean your wounds," he told her. "As I was saying, I charmed some of these Muggle artifacts. Your canteen will hold several gallons of water, and feel no heavier then it would normally. I improved some of the other items as well. Your tent for instance is now impervious to even the most violent storm, it is also quite impenetrable. You have no need to fear wild animals, or even werewolves for that matter. I made a few other minor changes, but wand work is not my specialty."
"Just those changes seem like miracles."
"Hardly."
"What can we do now, what kinds of wandless magic can you perform?"
Severus thought for a moment before he answered, "Many types: counter curses, impediments, bindings, lighting, and of course summoning. Why do you ask?"
"Can you cast a wandless Engorgio or the like?" she asked.
"Actually, no."
"Then it is our canteen, and our tent. It's a good thing I wanted extra space and got us each two person tents, now that we'll have to share. If I recall you shrank yours for ease of - "
"Yes, well, be that as it may - "
Hermione was suddenly overcome by a wave of dizziness and she sank back to the ground.
"I will get some water so that your injuries can be tended." Severus walked the few paces to the stream and filled the canteen.
When he retuned Hermione was still laying down.
He sat beside her and helped her to sit.
"You do not seem to be doing very well," he stated observed.
"I'm sorry."
"That is nothing that needs apology," he returned. He spread out a blanket and helped Hermione onto it. "Here use these while I set up your tent. You will need to rest when we are through." Severus handed Hermione three potions. "Can you clean your wounds yourself while I set up your tent?"
"Our tent. Our microlight backpacking tent. Not actually military issue, strictly top of the line pleasure camping. Until you charmed it that is. But yes, I can do this on my own. I'm feeling better, just tired. Well beyond tired actually, but I think I can handle it."
"Good." Severus turned his back and began to assemble the tent.
Hermione quickly removed her clothes and washed herself with a flannel, soap from her field pack, and water from the canteen Severus had filled. She exchanged her robes for the Muggle clothes she had packed for herself in her field pack. 'I'm glad it's his pack that got shrunk and not mine. I don't think he would have used the Muggle clothes I packed for him anyway,' she mused.
She cast a wandless cleaning spell on the blanket she was sitting on, and turned back to Severus. "I'm dressed. I recognise Pepperup Potion and the wound-cleaning potion of course, but what is this potion?"
Severus turned and came over to kneel beside her. "You did not use the Wound Cleaning Potion," he admonished.
"They're only scratches. Besides I can't clean my own hands well enough to apply it. I can cast wandless cleaning spells, as well as fire and summoning spells. However, the cleaning spells won't work effectively on my own hands," she explained.
"Nevertheless you do not know where Pryce has been. You need the Wound Cleaning Potion," he reasoned.
"About Jeremy, I'm sorry."
"You are not responsible for his actions," Severus said, not unkindly. "Now you need to use the Wound Cleaning Potion. However, wandless cleaning spells are not something I do, so I can't clean your hands for you. Water and soap will not be enough, if it were your wounds would be sufficiently clean now. No, you need the Potion applied in an antiseptic manner. Wash your hands with the soap and water, then clean them with the Wound Cleaning Potion. After that apply some Potion to your... scratches. I will finish with your tent, and then I will tend to your head wound."
"Our tent," she corrected.
'It seems like days ago, not just a few hours that Jeremy did this,' she thought as she applied the potion to the wounds from her altercation with Jeremy Pryce. When she was done she looked up to see that the tent was up and closed. Severus stood beside it with his back to her. He was gazing into the forest. "I'm finished," she said quietly.
Severus came back over to her and spoke, "I will need to clean your head wound. It is not bad, but in this environment infection can set in rapidly."
"I know, I think I can do it myself," she offered uncomfortably.
"You can not do it yourself. You are unable see it. I will not harm you," he said harshly.
"I never thought you would harm me," she responded. She realised his harshness was his defense mechanism.
She noticed that he was looking around speculatively. 'He's trying to decide how to do this.' Hermione thought. 'He really thought I was afraid he would harm me?'
Having reached a decision Severus strode to the bank of the stream. He lay out the other blanket, allowing it to drop over the bank, it's edge in the water. He set the soap, canteen, and Wound Cleaning Potion down on it.
He returned to Hermione. "Come." He helped her over to the blanket by the stream. He sat gracefully, and she sat across from him.
"Your head needs to be over the water. Come here." Severus positioned himself near the edge and indicated that she should sit next to him. "Sit with you back to my legs. Now lean back, put your shoulders and back across my legs. That will put your head over the water."
Hermione lay across Severus' lap with her neck supported by his thigh, her hair dangling over the stream. She looked up and watched Severus' face in wonder. His expression was soft and concerned as he lifted the canteen and poured water over her hair. He wet it thoroughly. She watched his graceful hands as he soaped them. She looked to his face again as his hands came to her head. The feel of his long deft fingers running through her hair, and massaging her scalp was the most exquisite sensation she had ever experienced. Her eyes drifted closed and her mouth opened slightly as she sighed in pleasure.
'Her first time out for The Order, and she came up with our means of escape. I have always known how intelligent she is, but she is truly remarkable,' Severus thought, as he glanced at the face of the witch laying in his lap. 'Merlin, she's beautiful: she's soft; she's sensual; she's so inviting; she's do kissable. No! Absolutely not. What is wrong with me?' he wondered.
Severus tore his eyes away from Hermione's face and returned his features to his schooled look of bored disdain. He finished washing the matted blood out of her hair, and rinsed it as quickly as possible.
"Up now," Severus commanded curtly.
Hermione tried but found herself too dizzy to comply effectively. Severus self-induced attitude softened against his will, and reached behind her shoulders to help her to sit up. To his dismay she settled herself in his lap. She leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
"Are you all right?" he asked quietly.
"Dizzy."
"He put his arm around her to steady and ground her."
"Um better, thank you."
With his free hand he reached for the Wound Cleaning Potion. He gently smoothed her hair away from the angry open gash. He noticed she smiled softly at this, so he smoothed all of her hair back before he applied the potion to her wound. When he was finished he set the potion down and looked at the witch in his arms.
'She seems so content? That can not be. No one is content in my presence, and especially not with my touch. Even colleagues shudder in aversion if they accidentally bump into me. Albus is the only person who ever touches me. I do not understand?' Severus sat there silently wondering at the situation. He seemed to forget that he was finished cleaning her head wound, and should put her down.
'I would be happy to spend the rest of my life right here, just like this.' Hermione thought as she snuggled closer in Severus' arms.
"Hermione," the way his voice said her name was a dark silken caress, "you need to eat, and sleep."
"Umm," she made no move.
"Are you still dizzy?" he asked.
"Yes," she lied. She wondered at herself, 'I'm lying to stay in his arms. What is wrong with me?'
"You need to get in the tent. You need to eat, drink, and sleep."
Severus stood with Hermione, and kept his arms around her as he guided her to the tent. When she was inside he opened the field pack and searched through it. He handed her some food from it, and the canteen. Then he left the tent abruptly.
He was sitting on a downed tree trunk, about three metres from the tent. His head was bent and he stared at the ground unseeing. He heard her approach, but did not look up.
"Severus," she spoke softly. "You need to eat, and drink, as well."
"I am fine."
"As you could see if you would look at me, I have not eaten yet. Nor will I, unless you do."
"Blackmail Hermione?" he looked up at her then.
"Indeed." She smiled at him.
He found himself smiling back.
His smile took her breath away. "Here." She held a packet of food out to him. He reached out and accepted it. "May I sit with you?"
'I'm smiling like an idiot. Could I be more foolish?' he thought. His answer was a terse, "I can not stop you."
They ate in silence and shared water from the canteen. "Go to bed, you need sleep," he told her.
"Come," she answered.
"I will remain here for the night."
"But you charmed the tent for safety. Why would you remain out here in danger. Am I that offensive to you?" Her voice was quiet and insecure.
His voice betrayed his surprise at her question. "No, you are - " He caught himself just in time, and changed tact. "Hermione, it would not be proper."
"Severus," she said with exasperation. "we have been sleeping together for over six weeks." At his look she continued, "You know what I mean, and this is not different. Well I'll just have to show some more of my latent Slytherin tendencies then. If you won't sleep in the tent, I won't sleep in the tent." She sat back down. "And I am completely done in," she added cunningly.
Severus looked at her and realised that she would not budge from her stance. He stood and offered her his hand resignedly, "Very well."
Author Notes - additional
Below you will find the Canon grounds for my belief that Voldemort and his followers torture, and sexually assault their Muggle and Muggle-born victims. You will see where I sight Voldemort as actually speaking of "Muggle torture", and promising to provide victims. I believe the showing of the woman's drawers and her frantic struggle to cover herself as toned down sexual assault. Well, to be children friendly it would have to be toned down... The victims at the Quidditch World cup were Muggles, however, Malfoy says to Hermione Granger that if she remains, she'll "be showing off her knickers".
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From The Goblet Of Fire,
by J.K. Rowling
the paperback boxed edition.
Published by: Raincoast Books, 9050 Shaughnessy Street, Vancouver, BC, V6P 6E5 ;
Page 108
High above them (masked wizards aka Death Eaters) floating along in mid-air four struggling figures were being contorted into grotesque shapes.
...Harry recognised one of them (the floating people) Mr Roberts the campsite manager the other three looked as thought they might be his wife and children. One of the marchers below flipped Mrs Roberts upside down with his wand; her nightdress fell down to reveal voluminous drawers; she struggled to cover herself as the crowd below her screeched and hooted with glee.
Page 110
"Granger, they're after Muggles," said Malfoy. "D'you want to be showing off your knickers in mid-air? Because if you do, hang around... they're moving this way,"
Page 564
"Lucius my slippery friend," he whispered halting before him. "I am told that you have not renounced the old ways though to the world you present a respectable face. You are still ready to take the lead in a spot of Muggle torture I believe."
Page 565
"Macnair... destroying dangerous beasts for the Ministry of Magic now, Wormtail tells me? You shall have better victims then that soon Macnair. Lord Voldemort will provide..."
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