Aftershocks of Affinity
by Bren Ren
Rated PG:15 for harsh language
Summary: My fix for THAT episode!
Disclaimer: Like I could ever actually get anything for this stuff? Not Mine, Gekko & Co own them. Just playing with my cyber-Barbies again.
Author's notes: Hey, I didn't call him one dirty name! Didn't have to use his name at all, actually.
Aftershocks of Affinity
"What the HELL kind of answer was that?" Sam yelled. "That doesn't tell me anything! For God's Sake, I'm trying to find out if you even care anymore, and all I get is vague, subject-to-interpretation BULL! Damn you to HELL, Jack O'Neill!" Sam tossed back a double shot of bourbon and threw the glass across the room. The smashing glass sounds were oddly comforting. Now where's an unstable naquedah reactor when you need one?
It had been three days since she'd accepted the offer of marriage from someone who wasn't Jack. And since said person still hadn't finished his move from Denver, Sam had plenty of time to stew. And seethe. And finally boil over.
She should be ecstatic. She should be calling everyone she knows and shouting the "good news" from the rooftops. And all she really wanted to do was get smashing drunk and break every last bit of stemware she owned. Life was so unfair. Here she was, a successful Air Force Officer, one who has saved the world time after countless time, and the one thing she wanted most in life was the one thing she was completely denied. She was forced to settle. Samantha Carter hated settling.
Thank God he'd gone back to Denver, she really didn't think she was ready to keep up the happy-face for his sake. And he didn't really deserve the wrath and ire raging through her. Well, maybe he deserved it a little after what he pulled in that stakeout so many moons ago. Sam dragged her fingers through her hair, yanking hard enough to hurt. Even pain felt better than the ache that had settled into her heart since that fateful conversation with Jack.
She'd come right out and asked him. "What about you?" And all she got was another typical non-committal, evasive Jack O'Neill answer. She poured herself another double in the next glass in the line-up. " 'Care about her more than I'm supposed to' my Great Aunt Helga's rear-end!" she shouted as she threw the next drink back and gave the glass the same treatment as its predecessor. Simultaneous with the crashing of the glass, the doorbell rang. Sam ignored it, but whomever it was seemed determined to get an answer. Sam dragged her drunken ass off the couch and stumbled to the front door. Jack General O'Neill himself was on her front doorstep. This ought to be real good. Sam chuckled darkly as she opened the door.
"Yes, Sir, General, Sir? " She said with a smart salute. "How can I help you tonight?"
Jack blinked. Sam guessed he wasn't expecting to find her in such a state of inebriation. "Carter? Are you… drunk?"
"As a skunk, Sir! Rather enjoying it, if you don't mind, Sir!"
"I should leave-"
"Why did you come here, Sir?" She was awfully damned tired of pulling her punches with him, and at her blood-alcohol level, there was little holding her back tonight.
"Because… we didn't really finish that last conversation."
"Really? Cause I thought you made yourself about as clear as mud." Jack winced
"Could we maybe take this inside?"
Sam stared at him for a long moment, then turned around and walked back to the couch, leaving the door open for him to follow. Which, of course, he did. He spotted the source of Sam's intoxication and helped himself to a healthy swig. Sam snatched it out of his hands and finished the bottle off in two gulps.
"So? What brings you to my humble abode, General O'Neill?" She thought her speech sounded pretty decent, considering. Hardly a slur at all.
"If things were different." He let the words hang in the air for a tense moment. "If things were different… hell, we already saw evidence of what 'different' would be: You and I would've gotten married years ago… then the world as we know it would've come to an end."
"But things aren't 'different'. They're… whatever they are. Now. Right now, just you and me. But what the hell is that?"
It seemed to take Jack a while to decipher Sam's drunken little tangent.
"Damned complicated," he finally answered. Sam nodded in agreement. First positive emotion she'd experienced in days.
"Too damned complicated." Sam rose unsteadily from the couch and walked into the kitchen. She returned with a bottle of brandy and her last two glasses. Nearly tripping over Jack, she managed to sit down again without dropping or breaking anything. Jack finally sat down beside her on the couch.
Wordlessly, Sam poured the drinks and handed one to Jack.
"We've saved the world so damned many times. Its just not fair, dammit," Sam moaned as she made short work of her drink.
Jack caught her gaze as she set her glass down, held it with his own piercing stare. "You are, without a doubt, the best second in command I have ever had the honor of serving with." He paused and took a slow drink. "I would never want to jeopardize that relationship, especially while the Goa'uld present such an enormous threat. We have a strong, solid friendship that has grown from that working relationship, and believe me when I tell you that it is a friendship I couldn't live without." He paused again, this time because Sam's eyes had widened so much he was afraid they'd burst.
"It means just as much to me," Sam whispered. "More."
"I'm not going to do anything that could screw up what is already one the best things in my life. So I do what I have to do. I tow the line, follow the rules, play it safe. We both do what we have to do."
Well, that pretty much summed it up. So where does that leave her?
"So where does that leave me?" Damn, didn't mean to say that out loud.
"Where ever it is that you need to be in order for you to be happy."
That really didn't help much. "What about you?" Right back where they started. And if he came up with another vague answer like last time, he's getting the next glass upside his stubborn head!
"As long as you're happy, I'm happy." Sam's eyes got really big again as she lifted her glass and aimed for his head. He caught her arm just as it was about to come smashing down on the center of his head. "Hey! Easy. Easy! Sam… " At the sound of her name coming from his lips, she stilled. Helped that his lips were inches from her eyeballs now. "Sam," he said again in a softer voice.
"Please, Jack." She had no idea what she was asking for now. All she could do was watch his lips form her name one more time.
"Sam…" He finally lowered his head those last few inches until they met hers. A sigh almost escaped her lips but was swallowed up by his slow, tender caress. The hand that had stopped her near-violent actions loosened, his thumb circling her wrist. The other found its way to her hair, as Sam's arms wound around Jack's neck. After a long, long, long moment, they parted. Slightly.
"It's impossible, isn't it?" Sam whispered.
"After all we've seen and done, is anything really impossible?"
Sam considered that for a moment, then asked, "Is it worth the risks?"
"Is it?" Jack countered.
"I think… maybe it is."
"I think you're right. Maybe it is." Still wrapped around each other, they tipped their heads together. "This feels way too damn good."
"Felt better a second ago!"
Jack was the one to pull away now. Reluctantly, he pulled Sam's arms down and clasped her hands in his. "I think you've got some… business to take care of first." He held up the hand that bore her promise to another. Sam winced, then nodded. "We need to do this right. We can't afford not too. I think that's the only way we've got even the slightest chance."
Sam sighed. "I hate it when you're right." She tried once more to stand, but found herself completely unable to do so. "Okay, so standing is out. Do you think you could… just get me a pillow? I'll just crash here tonight…"
"Forget that noise, Carter. You need a good night's sleep, not a stiff neck in the morning." He lifted her off the couch and carried her back to the bedroom. And in the time it took to make that journey, Sam finally realized, beyond any doubt, where her heart truly lies. As he tucked her into bed, Sam smiled. She caught Jack's hand and tugged him down towards her. "Would you stay with me? Just till I'm asleep? Promise that won't take long."
Sam felt the mattress shift under Jack's weight as he scooted next to her. He pulled Sam close and held her tight. True to her word, she was out like a light in minutes. Jack kissed the top of her head as he slipped away. "I love you, Samantha Carter," he whispered as he left the room. He heard a satisfied sigh escape her just before he closed the door.
"Definitely worth it."
Fini
Feedback is good for the heart and soul! Of course, Godiva's works too!
Love and hot fudge,
Bren Ren