This is my first fanfic and well personally I dont think I am a good writer. This is just something I flung together and it didn't take very long. If you recognise it- I don't own it. I only do this for fun.

It's funny how one little thing can change your whole life. I stared at the single bullet on my desk and the gun in my hand.

Could I do this?

I remember working all the suicide cases. I remember the disappointment in all the eyes of the people around the body. Teen suicides were the hardest to work. Especially when you need to tell the parents. Teens never tell their parents anything- many parents dont understand the torment which drives their children to ending it all.

The latest suicide case I worked on was today. I was teamed with Greg. Since he became a CSI, he has changed. This job does change you. It makes you think differently. Or maybe that is just me. I have been thinking differently. Since Grissom found out about my past- I began to understand some things. I understand how people can commit suicide. I understand how much someone must want to end their life to actually do it.

Could I do this today?

I wish Grissom never found out about my parents. It would be better that way. But I didn't tell him everything. If I told him more about my past he would know my weaknesses. If he knew my weaknesses he would know how to hurt me. That would make me vunerable.

I started to think about thier reactions if I did put the gun to my head and pull the trigger. What would Grissom, Nick, Greg, Warrick and Catherine say? Should I tell them why in a letter? Or should I let them figure it out? They would blame themselves if I didnt tell them why. And I dont want that. It isnt their fault I need to do this.

I remember when my brother took his own life. I found him hanging by a cord with his eyes open and staring down at me. I found his suicide note- adressed to me.

Sara-

I am sorry I left you alone here. This was something I had to do. Dont give up like me.

Love you loads forever.

Kurt-

For 19 years I didnt give up. And now I was going to end it all.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know. Should I continue?