Influenza

Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: The show and the characters are just something that I am borrowing for the time being. I do not make a profit from my works, unless reviews count! Then I'd be rich!

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"I'll see you later, daddy," Kathleen promised, kissing her father on the cheek. "You stay in bed and do whatever Olivia tells you to, alright? I want to be able to see you next weekend, and I can't do that if you're still sick." She grinned at him and turned to Olivia, "It was nice to see you again, Olivia."

Olivia nodded, "You can drop by any time."

Kathleen smiled in response and nodded, "Thanks." With another look at her father she turned and headed for the door, pulling out her keys as she did so. Within minutes she was gone. Sam turned to the TV and sighed, the original movie they had been watching was long since over and an old 007 movie was on, Sean Connery playing Bond. It was certainly more interesting than whatever had been on before, but she still could not manage to pay close enough attention to get involved in the movie.

"Do you think you'll be up to working tomorrow?" she questioned, taking her gaze away from the television set to look at him.

He shrugged, "I don't know... I feel a lot better, but with the flu you can never be too sure."

Damn. She had been hoping that he would be better and that they could return to work the next day better than ever and forget that the whole weekend had even happened. Yeah, that was a laugh. There was no way she would ever forget what had gone on in the past few days. Oh, she would ignore it and pretend like she had forgotten the best she could, but it would never really go away. She wasn't even sure she wanted it to, not completely. The moments she had spent with him over the last three days would probably be the only things keeping her warm at night during the harshness of the winter.

"I think I'm going to ask her for a divorce," he said out of the blue. Olivia looked over at him, surprised at the confession.

"Why?"

"Why?" he repeated. "Well, for one, she obviously doesn't want to be with me any longer, so why bother holding on to something that I've already lost? Second, my feelings for you would kind of get in the way, even if she did want me back... so, that's not going to work." Elliot shrugged his shoulders, "We're both different people now- and there isn't a thing that either one of us can do about it. Even if one of us wanted to."

Her breath caught in her chest and she had to make herself look away from his entrapping eyes. God, the things that man could do to her with just one look! If he only knew... "I'm not going to be the reason you leave your wife, Elliot."

"You can't be," he told her, nonchalant. "She already left me, so there's no way I can leave her."

"That doesn't change anything, Elliot... you're still married and I still won't be the other woman. No matter how much I'd like to be or how strong your feelings are. I'm sorry," she said, "I just can't."

"I would never ask you to be the other woman, Olivia. I don't want to burden you with that." He climbed off of the bed and made his way over to the couch where she was sitting, "I just want to know something."

"What?" she questioned, holding her breath when he sat down next to her, leaving no space between them.

"Will you wait for me? Until after the divorce?" His eyes were dark and hopeful, "Can I count on you to still be there?"

Against her better judgement she reached out and caressed his cheek, her own eyes dark with emotion. "Of course you can, of course I will," she whispered, cursing herself at the way her voice broke. "I can wait."

He reached out his own hand and brought it to the nape of her neck, pulling her to him. Their lips crushed together in one last moment of moment of disregard for the rules and the promises made, and in that moment she let the rational side of her mind shut down, giving in to her emotions completely. She clung to him desperately, needing this final contact for her sanity. He held her just as tightly, gripping the fabric of her shirt in his hands, also needing the final embrace in order to keep control. Which, was strange because most would say that by doing what he had he was losing his control.

They had enough sense to pull away when things got to be too much. He had promised her that she wouldn't be the other woman and he had promised his wife he would stay faithful and he had promised himself that he would wait until he was divorced until they started anything up. Elliot knew that, when they did becoming involved, there would be no way he could turn back, and no way he could hide it. He would wait. He had to.

"I should go," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair.

"You're sick," she replied breathlessly, her eyes still closed. "You can't take care of yourself while you've got the flu."

Elliot smiled lightly, "I'll be fine. I swear."

Her eyes opened and she noticed uncertainty dancing in his. He didn't want to leave any more than she wanted him to, but he knew he had to, if they were going to stick to their decisions. Staying would only lead them further into temptation. Which might feel right and like the right thing to do, but what they both knew was exactly the opposite. She nodded, moving her arms from around his neck and sheepishly looking away.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow?"

"Maybe," he replied, taking his own arms from around her torso. "Probably."

He got off of the couch and she looked over at the space he had once occupied, telling herself that him leaving was the best thing. Fighting the urge to stop him from walking out her door she grasped onto the sofa, the fabric burning in her hands. He looked back at her when he made it as far as the front door, briefly, and then left.

She still held onto the couch, her hands shaking with the force she was using, the whites of her knuckles making themselves known. With a deep, ragged breath she finally let go, then stretched out her sore fingers. Her knuckles cracked in retaliation and she winced at the sharp pop the action produced.

What was she going to do?

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He slumped forward in the front seat of his car, resting his head against the steering wheel, in hopes of gathering some equilibrium. His legs had been shaky as he left her apartment and he had nearly collapsed on his way down the stairs, thankfully there had been a railing for him to grasp onto, so he hadn't. However, he was sure that it wasn't just his sickness that had caused such an effect on him. It was her.

It was amazing how much he had changed in the last three days. Before, he was calm and together, Elliot the super cop, ready to take on anything the scum of the city had to throw at him. Now, he was nervous and confused and it was all because of his feelings for his partner. How on earth would he ever return to normal after all of that?

A good ten minutes after he had forced himself into his car he forced his key into the ignition and started it up. After revving the engine up a bit, in order to warm it from the chilly November wind, he took off for his own empty house. He opted to leave the radio off, in order to give him some extra time to think during the fairly long ride back to Queens.

So, he was really going to ask Kathy for a divorce? It was an odd feeling, knowing his marriage was over. Strange was it was, he didn't really feel that bad about it. He and Kathy had truly been over for awhile, and as cliché as it sounds, they had really only stayed together for their kids. The twins were nearing thirteen, so they would understand now, and Kathleen was getting closer and closer to seventeen everyday. Maureen was twenty and off at college, and had known for quite some time that her parents relationship was falling apart. She had never mentioned it to him, but he could tell she had known. He had raised a very bright woman, as it were. So there was no reason to keep up with the façade of a happy marriage any longer. Kathy couldn't take pretending any more, and honestly he was getting to the end of his ropes, as well.

The realization of a failed marriage had torn at his insides only a months prior, but now it only felt like a huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders. Or his heart, more accurately. No matter how cheesy that may come off as sounding. He had kept his feelings for his partner locked inside of him for a long time, because he was married to another woman he wouldn't acknowledge his growing emotions for her, and instead of them going away and disappearing when he denied their existence they had only grown and become more profound. And, though he hadn't meant for things to happen that way, now he was glad that they had.

Stopping at a red-light he let his thoughts wonder from the events of the past few days, to the events of the days to come. It would be hard, he admitted, seeing her everyday knowing she felt the same way for him as he did for her. Things wouldn't be as easy as hiding his emotions behind his professional façade. They would have to pretend as if the last three days had never occurred and they hadn't really broken down the walls that they had built to shut each other out and to keep their feelings hidden. He would have to go to work and face her, finally knowing what it was like to hold her in his arms, to kiss her, and to feel her body beneath his. It was going to be hard, but if he was ever going to be able to be with her, then pretending like it hadn't happened was something he would just have to do.

His cell phone rang as he pulled into his driveway and he glanced down at the screen before answering it. 555-2578; it was Kathy. Why on earth would she be calling? Unless, Kathleen had made it home and her and her mother had discussed the same topic that he and his daughter had. He picked up the phone on the third ring, "Stabler."

"Hey," she greeted. "It's me."

Elliot nodded, although nobody was around to see him do so. "Yeah- listen, we need to talk..."

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Olivia was almost late getting into work that morning. Not because she had slept through her alarm or taken a bit longer in the shower than she had intended to, but because she had been standing on the front steps of the station for nearly fifteen minutes trying to work up the nerve to go inside and face him. After that time she had no choice, if she stayed out any longer she would be late, and she prided herself on never doing so. So, she had pushed her nervousness aside (as best she could), taken a deep breath, and dived into the chaos.

He was sitting at his desk when she entered, leaning over a pile of paperwork, writing something down. When she sat in her seat he leaned back in his, stuck the end of his pen in his mouth, and picked up the file to read it further. Try as she might, she couldn't pull her eyes away from his mouth, he was chewing on the pen, lost in thought.

Get a hold of yourself, Olivia, she chided herself. You've never let your feelings for him get in the way of work before.

That was true, but she had never known he felt the same was before- either. God, she felt like she was trapped in some b-rated Spanish soap opera. Finally doing what her conscious had told her to, she tore her eyes away from the pen he was chewing on with such force, and directed her gaze to her own stack of paperwork. With a sigh she picked up the first file, scanned it over, then began her writing.

Somewhere during the course of the morning he had given up with his paperwork and started to joke around with Munch and Fin, which she understood. One could only do so much writing before their mind started to black out, her's was beginning to shut down, as well. If she didn't take a break soon, she would go nuts. Setting down her pen she rubbed her face with the palms of her hands, before running her fingers through her hair anxiously. She needed some fresh air, or some more coffee... probably both. While the three men went back and forth with their friendly banter she pushed back her chair and got up with a sigh, ignoring the sharp stab of protest her still sore legs gave her from the motion. Sitting for a long time while healing from the flu wasn't the smartest thing to do, anyway.

After pouring herself a fresh cup of coffee she left the bull pen, headed outside to stand where she had been hours prior. The steps provided many places to rest and she sat down on one of the ones nearest the door, taking a sip of her coffee and a deep breath of cold, clean air (at least, as clean as the city air could be). She watched the people pass by the station, walking briskly against the nippy winds of November. It was relaxing, in a way. When she was busy thinking about other peoples lives, where they're headed and who they're meeting up with, she could forget about hers.

After a minute or so he was sitting next to her, not that she was surprised. She had been waiting for him to show up. He didn't say anything for a moment, instead he peopled-watched with her, but after a few seconds he broke the silence.

"Kathy called last night..."

"Oh yeah?" she asked. "What did she say?"

"Well," he replied, "it's really more what I said that's the point here."

"Then what did you say?"

He sighed, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, "I asked her for a divorce."

"And...?"

"She agreed with me."

Olivia's insides jumped at the thought, but she ignored it and continued to watch the pedestrians pass. "I don't really know what to say, Elliot. Congratulations isn't exactly something you tell a person who is getting a divorce, and I guess an 'I'm sorry' wouldn't be the truth... As long as it's what you want then... well? As long as you're happy."

He took hold of her hand and slid his fingers into hers, intertwining them for a brief moment. "I am."

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A/N: Not done yet, guys. Keep reviewing, keep reading, there's more to come!