AN: hey guys, this idea to make a parody series was from reading way too many YouTube comments. So yeah, bunch of silly stuff bout to go down.
For those who know me from my FE fic "Awakening: Second Chance" don't worry, I'm not dropping it anytime soon, just want to diversify stuff
Anywho, there may not be any chronological order for this series unless I decide to
Nero sat beside the driver's seat of Nico's van, somewhat eavesdropping on the conversation of the two Cambions: at first, he was surprised when he found them knocking on the van's door, then immediately giving them an earful after they explained how easy it is to get back using the Yamato.
Still, living with the two wasn't as bad as he thought: while they did bicker from time to time, often they weren't as loud or immature like children. They seem to get along well whenever they were in his peripherals.
Still, it surprises him to know now that his biological family is now in the van with him. Seeing how his father act around him and his uncle, it made him wonder: how the hell was he conceived?
Well, what better way to find that out than asking your deadbeat of a father?
He slowly made his way to the back of the van, careful as to not interrupt the conversation between brothers. As they were finished, he cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the two half demons.
"Greetings" Vergil spoke
"Hey Kid!" Dante greeted, "something you need?"
Finally time.
"Yeah, got a question for the old man" Nero replied, gesturing to Vergil, earning a laugh from the other son of Sparda. "It's about time you answer me: who the hell is my mother?"
"Sorry kid" Dante said, "tried getting that answer out myself, Verg here say it's-"
"I guess you deserve some closure" Vergil interrupted, "fine, I'll tell the story..."
"Hey, wait a minute!" Dante interjected, "you said it was too long ago for you to remember!"
"I said that just so you could keep focus on more important priorities"
"Hey! What's so unimportant about knowing the woman who managed to get in your pa-"
"That's enough" now Vergil had the Yamato's blade near his twin's neck, "let me begin now"
Vergil cleared his throat, than resumed speaking.
"It all began the day I learned the existence of other worlds..."
Many, many years ago...
Vergil kept wandering around the continent, Teyvat its inhabitants called it. He knew the Yamato had the ability to cut through anything it touches, but cutting through rifts in space-time wasn't what he had in mind.
Although entering the new world had its merits: people in the continent had spoken of powerful Archons - which are gods that oversee the world itself - dwelling within the mortal world. Vergil thought that perhaps if he could beat these "gods" themselves, then maybe his power will be enough.
Examining a map - which he obtained through the gold of bandits he had slain earlier - he set a chart for an archipelagic region.
"Inazuma..."
Unfortunately, he had no means of traversing through the waters, nor did he fully understood the Yamato's space-time affinity. So for now he had to go travel the old-fashioned way.
And hopefully, find a spare boat somewhere...
Traversing the lands weren't much of a problem, seeing as the creatures and bandits here seem to lack power as they raided his - albeit somewhat poorly-made - camp. Thankfully, some bandits are quite useful, seeing as how some drop the money he needs in order to gather supplies whenever he drops by the next village.
And whenever he did enter another village through his journey, he had taken mercenary jobs here and there. Despite how menial the tasks were, he is at least grateful for how quick they were to accomplish-
"Hold on, hold on!" Nero interrupted, "you said this was the story of how you met my mother, not some tall tale of how you were sent to a fantasy-world-type shit!"
"I was getting there, just needed to do some worldbuilding for everything to make sense" Vergil said, annoyed. "And would it not do you any better to not use such vulgar language?"
"Can't you just have... started with the place you were going to?" Dante asked "Inazuma, right?"
"Fine, just so you both will stop interrupting me" Vergil conceded, "after stealing a boat from-"
"Wait, you stole a boat?"
"Do you want me to stop?"
"Fine, continue"
"As I was saying... after stealing a boat from bandits, I made my way to the archipelagic region of Inazuma..."
Vergil stayed in the boat for what felt like days, constantly rowing towards the region within his map. He had taken off his coat due to the uncomfortable heat in tropical climates, and then he felt heavy gusts of wind pushing his boat backwards.
Wind? He thought, and then what he saw answered his question: massive storm clouds had covered the entire archipelagic region, preventing any form of traveling to the region.
"A little storm preventing entrance?" Vergil said to himself, "foolishness! Such weather will not stop me!"
He began quickening the pace as he was rowing the small boat vigorously. The closer he got to the island, the stronger the storm became. As a Son of Sparda, the storm was like mere child compared to his power.
Unfortunately, the boat was NOT a Son of Sparda, it was just "boat." The boat immediately capsized as the winds grew strong for it to handle, pushing even Vergil off its back.
The blue devil grabbed onto the overturned boat as he spat out the salty brine that entered his mouth. Quickly strapping The Yamato onto his waist tightly, he began swimming for the archipelago.
Dante couldn't hold it anymore, he began throwing a fit of laughter, interrupting Vergil once again.
"What is it this time?" Vergil asked, slowly becoming irritated at the younger twin.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Dante wheezed, "it's just that... imagining you on a dingy... aggressively rowing towards a storm, it's just.. pfft! Haha- urk!"
Dante coughed out blood as he felt a familiar streamlined blade embedded into his gut, remembering the feeling even more as Vergil plunged The Yamato even deeper into his abdomen.
"Now I can continue in peace" Vergil muttered, "as I was saying..."
Vergil had washed up on a sandy shore, his mind half awake yet asleep. He barely had the strength to fully open his eyes, yet his grip on The Yamato remained as clamp-like as ever. The soft, yet prickly feeling of sand laid on half of his face as his mind slowly began to drift away.
That was the case, until he could've sworn he heard voices.
"Who's this?" One said
"Dunno" another voice spoke, "but it doesn't look like he's from around here, a castaway perhaps?"
"Check if he has any visions, The shogun demands it"
Visions? Just what are they taking about?
"Hey, this guy's got a nifty looking sword, I'd say we take it"
The last few words drove the devil in blue on edge, his form shifting between his human and demon halves. The sudden alterations scared the mysterious figures, who slowly backed away from the strange castaway.
Vergil, however, needed answers. Dozens of phantom blades fell from the sky, trapping the figures as the blades formed a circle. Vergil - on the other hand - got up, accompanied by a withering scowl as he glared daggers at the two.
"With that out of the way" Vergil said, readjusting the collar of his shirt. "I believe the both of you have some explaining to do..."
Vergil made his way to a city named after the region itself after a couple of days, as the two told him in exchange for their lives. If it wasn't for the fact that his goal correlated to finding power, he would've thought the place beautiful.
Which lead him to the other problem...
From what else the two figures had told him, Inazuma is undergoing something called a "vision hunt" where their shogunate had decreed the confiscation of visions from vision-wielders. From what he gathered about visions, they were sacred gifts from gods that were imbued by the elements they embody. Intrigued by this, he thought that maybe he should go locate these visions himself.
He came across a building larger than the rest, finally founding what he was looking for. Though however, guards intercepted him at every turn as he got closer.
They were in his way, so he made quick work of them.
Humans weren't as difficult to deal with compared to the infernal spawns that came to his world through the wretched hell that was his father's home. With a simple motion of unsheathing the Yamato and quickly returning it to its scabbard, the dark-forged blade sliced through the guards' weapons like a hot knife through butter.
"The hell?"
"Is he a vision-wielder?"
"Quick, inform the shogun! She'll need to see this!"
Vergil kept his grip on the Yamato tight, waiting for their next move. To his confusion, the guards moved aside to reveal another person whose attire differed from the getup of the soldiers: her violet hair folded into a braid, donning a peculiar kimono unlike the ones he saw from the residents of the archipelago when he was passing through.
What was weirder was how she conjured up a sword through her... skills. Questionable abilities aside, he could sense ethereal energies emanating from that blade. No doubt, this woman must've been the shogun they're referring to-
A loud, booming thunder overshadowed Vergil's own voice as it interrupted his story. Nero noticed his father's brows furrowing, as if the sound of thunder told him something.
"Great, she's here..." Vergil muttered, "the sound of the thunderstorm is different from your usual one..."
"Uh, Verg?" Dante asked, looking at brother curiously. "That just sounds like any other storm I've heard"
"Right, your incompetence won't allow you to know the difference between a natural storm and a divine one" Vergil deadpanned, "she's here"
"Old man, the hell you're talking-" Nero was about to say, before Vergil stood from his seat and shouted:
"You will not take even a cent from me, woman!" He yelled, "it's mine! It belongs to a son of Sparda!"
After the declaration of a man refusing to pay child support, Vergil tore into the fabric of space with the Yamato's sharp edge. As he was about to enter the rift he made, he turned to Nero.
"Say hello to your siblings for me if she brought them along with her" Vergil said, before exhibiting the act of a runaway father. Nero stood in place as the portal before him closed, his face unreadable as he began to process newfound revelations of his family.
"Hoo boy! Looks like we got quite a storm comin' round!" Nico spoke, exiting out of her workshop. And upon realizing Nero's perfect expression of a statue, she asked: "what's up with Vergil Jr. over here?"
"I think... my mother's here..." Nero spoke, "she's... here..."
"And apparently, Verg didn't stop at one kid" Dante also spoke up
"Ya mean... your ma's visiting?" Nico asked, her eyes widened at the realization. "Aw yeah! Now I can know how the lady got in his pants!"
Nero looked at her with a scrunched up face. "What? Your daddy's always lookin' so cold and reserved it makes a gal like me wonderin' how you were even born" she told him.
"See? Nico here gets it" Dante said, the trio stopped what they were doing as they heard knocking on the door. Pulling all of his courage together, Nero walked forward and began to slowly open the door.
"This is by far the weirdest family reunion I've ever had..." Nero muttered, "ah, hell, here goes nothing..."
AN: I guess for some clarification, the reasoning behind the creation of this story was due to me finding moveset comparisons of Vergil and other characters outside of DMC, where most of comments basically decides to fanon "yes, these are Vergil's spawn"
Then I came across one of the videos comparing Ei to Vergil, and how similar their moves were. While the comments wishing they could fight her again, others were basically fanoning that "yes, this is his ex" while others still basically fanon her as his legacy. Although to me the former makes a bit more sense, given Ei was practically as old as Sparda given she existed during the Archon war, which dates back thousands of years ago according to GI's lore. And because of how amusing the fanon was to me, I decided to make a short two-part story about it.
I'll probably take a break for now, feeling kinda tired.