Influenza

Chapter Twelve

Disclaimer: Not my show, not my characters. My idea, though.

XXXX

Two weeks passed after her return to work, neither had mentioned what had happened at her apartment any and generally, they tried to stay away from non-work related topics in general. The last thing both of them needed was to get back into a relationship discussion and have things go too far, which they knew would inevitably happen if they got into such a talk. Other than work, they saw each other twice in that fourteen day period, once on coincidence, at the store (he had gone just after getting off work, which was why he was shopping in Manhattan, instead of Queens) and the other time because of Kathleen. The kids were staying over at his place the weekend after she had the flu, and his middle child was making dinner, so she decided to invite Olivia to come, as well. Not wanting to appear rude to his children she agreed to come, and had actually had a great time. Kathleen was a wonderful cook and the kids took her mind off of their father and the situation the two of them were in.

After those two weeks Elliot's divorce started going into motion, paperwork was beginning to be signed and things were being separated between the two households. One of them would be keeping the house, since it was almost fully paid off, and the other would just have to find someplace new. Who was which depended on the children and which parent they would be staying with most of the time. Of course, both wanted the kids to live with them, but there wasn't really a way that could happen. They would have shared custody, but neither parent wanted to have to keep moving the children back and forth between houses. They shouldn't have to suffer.

Even though he had detested the idea, Elliot finally settled the issue. He would buy an apartment in Manhattan, close to work, and Kathy could stay at the house. Because of his lack of a work-schedule there wasn't really a way the kids could live with him full time, especially with Dickey and Elizabeth being so young still. Kathleen would be a great help in driving them places, but the almost 17 year old had a life of her own, and would be going places by herself. Kathy, who had a stable, 9 to 5 job, could take care of the kids much better by herself than he could. They were allowed to come over whenever they wanted to, though, as long as both parents knew about it.

There was still a lot more that had to be done, but they got the basics out of the way, and since neither was fond of a messy divorce the process would run smoothly. It would take about a month for everything to be finished and the divorce final, but it was understandable, and really, when most took three times that, or longer, why would they argue?

He began hunting for an apartment almost immediately, the process was long and rough but after a few weeks he found a two bedroom place about a ten minute walk from the 1-6. Not to mention a five minute drive from a certain detective's apartment, although he chose not to mention that when he discussed the new place with his children and soon-to-be ex-wife. Not that he felt that his feelings for her were wrong, he just figured it would save him a lot of talking not to say anything about it. And, Kathy was a smart woman, she knew where Olivia lived, and it was only a matter of connecting the dots.

"Are you seeing her?" Kathy had asked one day, after a meeting to discuss the bank account that was in both of their names.

Elliot didn't even bother to as who Kathy was talking about, "No." he told her truthfully. "We're still married. I'm not going to cheat and she's not going to be the other woman."

"But you do have feelings for her?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding his head. "I do. But, I also still have feelings for you and I'm not going to treat our marriage like it was nothing by cheating. You were my first love, Kathy, and I will always acknowledge that– no matter what happens when all of this is finally over."

"Where did we go wrong?" she questioned, sitting down in a office chair. Both their lawyers had left by that point so they were alone in the room and she wasn't uncomfortable having the conversation.

He shook his head and sat down next to her, "I don't know if there's even an answer to that question, Kath. I'm not sure if there was really a point in our lives together where things abruptly ended and things changed. It was a gradual thing, me always at work, you working and then coming home to be super-mom. It's not that we didn't have time for each other, it's that we stopped finding time for each other. And I'm not saying that it's all you or it's all me, because I know that my job is no excuse and I should have been able to come home ever now and then, but I also know that if you had only asked me more often then I would have made the time. Somehow. Somewhere along the years were started to drift apart, and rather than trying to swim back to each other, we just allowed the tide to take us where it wanted."

"And the tide took me to my mothers and you to Olivia's?"

"No," he said with a sigh. "Olivia is a completely different story. I don't know when it happened or how it happened or even why it happened, but over the years that I have been working with her my respect for her and our friendship evolved into something more than just partnership and mutual respect. I didn't even realize it until it was too late and there was nothing I could do about it." He smiled slightly and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, "But even though I started to see her as more than a friend I never once stopped loving you. I will always love you, Kathy."

She nodded sadly, "But sometimes love just isn't enough."

Elliot nodded and stood up from his chair, looking down at her. "I will always be here for you, Kathy. No matter what happens, I still want to be your friend. We were so good at that."

"Yeah," she said, "we were, weren't we?"

"If you ever need me, just call, alright?"

"I will," she promised. As Elliot started to leave the room she called out to him again, "I like her, you know? I tried not to, I wanted to hate her for the longest time."

"Olivia?" he asked, turning about around to look at his wife.

She nodded, "I started to see things, you know? You would come home from work, looking like somebody had died, which I know was probably the case mostly, but still... that's not the point. You would look so depressed and detached, then I would ask you what happened... you never would tell me. And I understand that, really, I do. I know that what you do is probably one of the most emotion-draining jobs in the world, and you never wanted me and the kids to have to go through what you went through. I'm thankful for that. But, then you would start to talk about her, something that had happened to her or some creep she had locked away, and you wouldn't look so detached anymore. Your eyes were brighter and your shoulders weren't slumped and I could feel you slipping away from me day after day. And your right, I didn't do anything to stop it. Because, truthfully, I didn't think there was anything I could do. How do you compete with somebody like Olivia? She's beautiful and strong and even though she had such a horrible childhood she can still smile and when she was around the kids I could just tell that she has a way with (children), so I could only imagine how she was with the ones you came across at work. After all she's been through she can still be gentle and kind, and that's rare."

"Kathy, Olivia is no better than you are. You are a wonderful woman, you put up with taking care of four children practically by yourself and never once complained. You've helped God knows how many people at work and no matter what you're always kind and gentle. You've got one of the best personalities out of anybody that I know and hardly ever lose your temper, and you've got a classic beauty that most women only dream of, even after being a mother for almost 21 years."

"Even so, if it had to be anybody, I'm glad that it's her."

He smiled, "You're going to find somebody, Kathy. Somebody who's going to treat you better than I ever could and will find the time to be with you no matter what. I know you will. When you do, don't let him go because of the ways that I screwed up. You deserve so much better than I was."

Kathy didn't really believe that but she nodded anyway. "I hope you're right."

XXXX

A week later:

The divorce was almost final and Elliot was finally moving in to his apartment in the city. After having to buy nearly every piece of appliance and furniture imaginable in order to do so. He decided that it wasn't going to be so bad. There was a nice view of the city from his living room and bedroom windows and the guest room was big enough to fit two full beds in it. That had been designated the girls room. For Dickey he bought a fold out couch, deciding that he would give his son the choice to either stay in his room or on the couch in the livingroom. The kitchen wasn't too big, but he wasn't much of a cook anyway, and the bathroom for the guest room had two sink heads which would prove very important when having two teenage girls over. All in all, it was perfect for what he needed.

Munch and Fin had come over to help him move all of the furniture and to celebrate their success they ordered pizza and watched TV on his newly installed cable box, while drinking beer of course. While Elliot was flipping through the many stations he had Fin made an observation.

"Olivia isn't here..."

"No shit, sherlock." Munch retorted. "Did you just figure that one out?"

"I meant why isn't she here, dipshit."

"She said she was busy with something," Elliot replied, not wanting to hear their battle of the wits. "She has a court date in the morning, so I guess she's working on her testimony.'

"Oh..."

"Any more brilliant epiphanies?" Munch questioned.

"You're an ass?" the man offered.

"Quit it you two, you'd better not talk like this around my children."

"Only the twins."

Elliot rolled his eyes and sighed, turning his attention back to the TV.

"How are things going between you and Olivia, anyway?" Fin asked. "You two seem a bit distracted at work."

"It's nothing, Fin. Don't worry."

"He never said he was worried about you," Munch supplied. "I wouldn't be either, if you and Olivia had something going on..."

"Well," Elliot spat out. "We don't."

"Ok..."

"Sure."

"You know what guys, it's late... I have to pick the kids up early tomorrow. Do you think we could call it a night?"

"Yeah," Munch sighed, deciding that they could pick up the conversation later. "I'd better start for home before I get too drunk, anyway."

"See you later, Stabler." Fin told him, getting up from the couch. "When is your final court date?"

"Next Thursday."

"Then the divorce is final?" Munch questioned.

"Yup."

"'K. We'll finish our discussion next Friday, then."

They both left without another word. Elliot sighed, clicked off to TV, and headed for his brand-new bed in the masters bedroom of his brand-new apartment. He only had 6 more days until he and Kathy were no longer married and, truthfully, he was a bit afraid about what that would mean for him and Olivia. He didn't know where the road was going to lead them or if there was even a road for them to take.

But then again, the thought of her still brought chills down his spine and whenever he saw her he was still captivated by her beauty and strength. When he dreamed it was of her and when he was awake he thought of her and when they were around each other all he could do was remember the way she felt in his arms and how soft her lips had been but how much force she had kissed him with.

And he knew that, no matter what, they would make things work.