See part one for disclaimer.
When Ron came down to breakfast several days later, he was almost bent double for laughing. He managed to stagger up to the Gryffindor table, and collapsed on the seat opposite Harry.
"What's made you so happy?" asked Harry suspiciously. "I mean, I know you're really happy about the cheerleaders and all, but –"
"It's not the cheerleaders," Ron gasped, clutching his side. "Well, actually, it kind of is, look, this was sticking out of Hermione's bag and I just couldn't help myself…" He held out a piece of parchment to Harry,
Harry was reluctant to take it. "Dunno mate, no offense but I don't want to be associated with you after you've just nicked something from Hermione."
"Just read it!" said Ron, wiping his streaming eyes.
Feeling as though life had recently taken many odd turns, Harry scanned the paper in his hand.
This is a transcript of the official interview with Seamus Finnigan of Gryffindor, conducted by Hermione Granger of Gryffindor, editor of Hogwart's newspaper, The Four Corners.
Hermione H: First of all, we of The Four Corners would like to thank you, Seamus, for allowing us to conduct this interview. Do you mind if I call you Seamus?
Seamus: Um, duh, Hermione, that's my name.
H: Pretend I'm not Hermione.
S: Who should I pretend you are, then?
H: No one, nevermind. Forget it.
S: No, go on. It might make it easier. I can practice my acting skills!
H: Seamus, you don't act.
S: Ouch, Hermione. You're killing my dreams here.
H: Don't refer to me as Hermione! I'm trying to make this official!
S: Listen, if I can't call you Hermione, you can't call me Seamus!
H: What should I call you then?
S: His royal highness and excellency, Seamus the Great.
H: This is ridiculous.
S: Do you want to interview me about the Quidditch cheerleaders or not?
H: I didn't really want to, no. But my co-editors seemed to want your opinion.
S: I 'spect they like me, then. Who are they?
H: If you don't know already, I'm not telling you.
S: If you want me to tell you who likes YOU then I think you should be a little nicer to me.
H: That's blackmail.
S: Nah, it's just really smart.
H: What does this have to do with Quidditch?
S: Absolutely nothing.
H: Do you MIND if I ask you a question pertaining to the subject at hand?
S: Pshh, don't act like I'm the one getting off-subject.
H: Seamus, you ARE the one getting off subject!
S: Ahem. I believe that would be his royal highness and excellency, Seamus the Great.
H: Oh, shut up. Seamus, how do you feel about the new institution of Quidditch cheerleaders?
S: I think it's bloody fantastic.
H: God. Thank you. That's all I wanted to know.
S: You're quite welcome.
H: Do you have anthing else you'd like to say?
S: Sure. Ladies, I am currently single and looking. And I may be from the land of the Leprechauns, but trust me: I'm not small!
H: You are hopeless.
/End Transcript.
This has been an official interview with Seamus Finnigan of Gryffindor, conducted by Hermione Granger of Gryffindor, editor of Hogwart's newspaper, The Four Corners.
"She can't honestly be thinking of publishing this?" said Harry in disbelief.
"Nah, I'm sure she's not going to…"Ron paused and smiled vindictively. "But I am."