Diana: Chapter Four.
Kitty: I saw A Series of Unfortunate Events!
Yugi: How unfortunate!
Kitty: Isn't it?
Lina: Wasn't it good?
Kitty: The only good part was the part about the Littlest Elf.
(Yugi and Kitty exchange a disgusted look)
Yugi: Everything else was way too unfortunate...
Lina: (slaps her forehead) Stupid Unfortunate Events talking code...
Bakura: (sweatdrop) R&R!
Chapter Four:
Lockhart the GIT!
Even though Mrs. Weasley had yelled her head off at Fred and George about the Ford Anglia, she was easily calmed down when she realized that it was to bring guests over. Although Ron, Fred, Diana and George all knew Mrs. Weasley was quite fierce at times, she was highly favorable to Yugi, Marik, Seto, Ryou, Hermione and Harry, and so was Mr. Weasley.
Mr. Weasley was obsessed with Muggles and their lives, so he kept talking to Seto as he had the most experience with the things Mr. Weasley wanted to know about.
"I see," Mr. Weasley said after Seto had explained to him about how a fax machine worked, "Quite ingenious…it is amazing the types of things Muggles have been able to accomplish without magic…"
The next day, everyone decided to go and get their school supplies at Diagon Alley, and the Japanese boys and Harry were greeted with a new, peculiar way of wizard travel: the Floo Network.
"I never…and I repeat never…want to do that again," Bakura choked on some ash when they arrived in the Leaky Cauldron's fireplace.
Diana helped the Tomb Robber up and brushed some of the ash off of his robes. "Oh, c'mon, it's not that bad…"
"Not that bad?" Yugi said incredulously, sneezing twice before continuing, "You're talking to people who have been through the Shadow Realm more times than we can count!"
"Alright," Mrs. Weasley said breathlessly, "Is that everyone? Fred, George, Ginny, Percy…Ron, Diana…Yugi, Ryou, Seto…Marik, Hermione…hang on, where's Harry?"
"I thought he was right behind me!" said Seto.
"Do you think he got out of the wrong grate?" Diana asked, her eyes wide with concern.
"But where could he have gotten out?" Hermione asked.
When the students and the Weasleys had almost given up hope, Hagrid came up, and struggling to keep up behind him was…
"Harry-kun!"
Harry, covered in soot and his glasses broken, went over to his friends.
"Are you alright, Harry?" Ron asked, "You look bloody awful."
"Gee, thanks," Harry said dryly.
"Where'd you come out?" Diana asked, wiping some of the soot off of Harry's robes.
"Knockturn Alley," Hagrid said grimly.
"AWESOME!" the Weasley twins said together.
"Mum would never let us go in," moaned Ron.
"For good reason," Diana snapped, "Ever I don't want to poke my nose down there, and think about how curious I am."
Ron pouted. "Well, you don't count, Dare…with your mum and all…."
Diana rolled her eyes as Mr. Weasley took Harry's glasses and repaired them with a tap of his wand.
"I have to agree with Dare on this, Ron," Harry said as he put his glasses back on, "That place was right old creepy…and sorry, I don't particularly want Malfoy to catch me down there when I'm lost and holding broken glasses up to my face anytime this century…"
"Malfoy?" Yugi asked.
"He and his father were down there, in a shop called Borgin and Burkes," Harry explained, "Lucius Malfoy gave the store owner a list of stuff he was trying to sell-"
"Sell?" Diana repeated, her mouth twisting into an evil grin, "Well, well, well…the Malfoys are worried…looks like your Muggle Protection Act might finally get 'em, Mr. Weasley!"
Mr. Weasley tried to sound stern when he said, "Now, now, Diana…" but he was having difficulty keeping his face straight.
They later went into Flourish and Blotts, only to find a bright purple sign on the door.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
will be signing his autobiography
MAGICAL ME
today 12:30 PM to 4:30 PM
"Can you believe it?" Hermione squealed, "We can actually meet him!"
"Gilderoy Lockhart…?" Bakura read the name again, "Hang on, isn't that the bloke who wrote almost the whole booklist?"
"That's him," Diana said sourly, "Aunt Gwen says that she knew him at school…not directly, by any means…"
Hermione grabbed Diana's collar. "Your aunt knew Gilderoy Lockhart?"
"Yeah," Diana replied, trying to sound politer about Lockhart than usual, "He kept asking her out on dates, she said…but I don't think Aunt Gwen could ever date anyone, let alone…"
"SHE'S MAD!" Hermione squeaked.
The boys sweatdropped as Diana tried to get away from Hermione's fan-girl squealing, before they went inside.
Tons and tons of witches around Mrs. Weasley's age were crowded around, and a harassed-looking wizard failed dismally to stop them from getting too rowdy.
Diana grabbed a copy of The Standard Book of Spells: Grade Two, and then got in line with the Grangers, Mrs. Weasley and Diana's Aunt Gwen to get their Lockhart books.
Gwen was clearly not pleased at being here; her short auburn hair curled neatly behind her ears, and under her simple black glasses, her brown eyes were quite cold and annoyed.
"Diana, there you are," she said as her niece came over with her friends.
Gwen took a brush out of her purse and immediately started combing through her hair.
"Aunt Gwen…" Diana muttered, "Knock it off…"
"You can at least learn to comb your hair properly," Gwen snapped, "Your hair's all over the place!"
"Well, playing sports and going through the Floo Network does that to people!" Diana snapped back, pulling away from her aunt's fussing comb.
Right then, Gilderoy Lockhart came slowly into view. His blond hair was wavy with a wizard hat placed jauntily on top of it. He wore light, forget-me-not blue robes, and he was surrounded by large, moving photographs of his face.
A short, irritable-looking man was dancing around, taking photographs with a black camera that emitted large puffs of smoke with every blinding flash.
"Out of the way," he snarled at Marik to get a better shot, "This is for the Daily Prophet-"
"Big fucking deal," Marik snapped back, rubbing his foot where the man had stepped on it.
Lockhart had heard him.
He looked up to look at Marik…then at Yugi…and then at Harry.
He stared, before leaping to his feet and positively shouting, "It can't be Harry Potter? And Yugi Mutou too?"
The crowd parted with excited murmurs, as Lockhart grabbed Harry's, then Yugi's, wrist and pulled them next to him.
Yugi felt himself go red as the photographer started taking photos like a madman. On the other side of Lockhart, Yugi could see Harry was pretty embarrassed too.
"Nice big smiles, you two," he said though his gleaming teeth, "Together we're worth the front page."
Finally the photographer stopped and Lockhart let go off their wrists. Yugi was going to run back to his friends, but Lockhart grabbed them again, clamping them tightly to each side of him.
"Ladies and gentlemen, what an extraordinary moment this is," he said loudly so that everyone could hear him, "The perfect moment for me to make a little announcement that I've been sitting on for some time! When these two young wizards stepped into Flourish and Blotts this morning to purchase my autobiography, Magical Me, they had no idea that they would, in fact, be getting the real magical me. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to announce that this year, I shall be Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!"
The crowd applauded again as Yugi and Harry each found themselves being presented with a complete set of Lockhart books. The two struggled to hold them all as they ran back into the crowd, toward Seto, Marik, Diana and Ginny Weasley.
Seto helped Yugi put his set on the floor, and Harry dropped his into Ginny's new cauldron.
"You have these," he muttered, "I'll buy my own…"
"Bet you loved that, didn't you?" said a sneering voice.
The students turned to look into the mocking eyes of Draco Malfoy.
"Famous Harry Potter and the King of Lame, Yugi Mutou," Malfoy sneered, "Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."
"Leave them alone, they didn't want all that!" Ginny snapped; for once, she didn't look embarrassed like she usually did around Harry.
"Careful, little Weasley," Malfoy drawled, "Don't want Mutou to cheat on his Mudblood back in China!"
Ginny went scarlet. Yugi and Diana looked ready to kill.
"Don't call Kitty a Mudblood, Malfoy!" Diana hissed.
"Or do you actually want some company for that black eye I gave you last year?" Yugi growled.
"At least I have dignity," Malfoy sneered back, "After all, who's ever heard of a Pharaoh being in a fist-fight?"
"Destiny can be changed," Seto said coldly, "Besides, who's ever heard of a little brat like you having dignity?"
Malfoy was about to retort, when a hand gripped his shoulder.
"Now, now, Draco, play nicely…"
The man had long platinum blond hair and cold silver-blue eyes; only a man like this could be Draco Malfoy's father.
"Mr. Potter," Lucius Malfoy's eyes fell on Harry, "We meet at last…after all, your story is legend…as of course was the man who made your story a reality."
Harry's green eyes narrowed with hatred.
"Voldemort killed my parents," he whispered icily, "He's nothing more than a murderer."
Mr. Malfoy's eyes widened ever so slightly. "You must be very brave to say his name…or very foolish."
"A snake by any other name is still just as sly," Yugi said just as coldly as Harry, "But it is best to call him by his proper name if you mean to introduce him into a conversation."
Mr. Malfoy looked at the King of Games, his eyes mocking.
"You must be Yugi Mutou," he said coolly, eyeing the Millennium Puzzle, "Yes, the host of the Pharaoh…pass on some information to him for me: the Dark Side is always looking for murderers like him."
If looks could kill, Yugi's gaze would've burned Mr. Malfoy like in the old witch trials, but the elder paid no attention as his eyes went over Seto.
"Seto Kaiba, is it?" he asked, "Well, I must say, the ruthlessness in Kaiba Corporation does run in the family, doesn't it…"
Seto gave Mr. Malfoy his classic cold glare, but he didn't even flinch as he looked at Marik.
"And Marik Ishtar," he whispered, "The first Muggle Slytherin since…" he thought a moment, "The only Muggle Slytherin I can think of. I suppose you couldn't hide everything, could you?"
Marik's eyes narrowed, obviously understanding what Mr. Malfoy was referring to. Mr. Malfoy smirked, before picking up his Lockhart book, and taking out a quill.
"For a role model," he said coolly as he scribbled something no one else could see.
Marik grabbed the book back, not even noticing that it felt a little thicker, and looked at the page. His eyes widened in fury, but he only threw the book into his bag.
Right then, Gwen struggled through the crowd to get to Diana.
"Diana, come on, we better leave Molly to her-"
"Well, well, well," Mr. Malfoy sneered, "Guinevere Randall."
"Lucius," Gwen replied with a curt nod.
"Busy time at the Ministry, I hear, Guinevere," Mr. Malfoy said coolly, "I do hope they're paying you overtime for all the trouble you have to endure to keep your niece under control…"
Gwen's brown eyes shot daggers from behind her glasses.
It was quite obvious that Gwen could never do anything to help Diana around her work, so it was always the Weasleys who had to try and take care of her "condition," which usually meant having to lock her in the basement and hope for the best.
"Well, we all have our ways, don't we, Lucius?" Gwen said icily, "I have my ways with Diana, and you have your ways with your…family secrets."
Everyone except Malfoy were glad to see Mr. Malfoy's jaw clench.
"You would know a lot about secrets, wouldn't you, Guinevere?" Mr. Malfoy hissed, "Everything concerning Diana's welfare…not to mention your links to-"
"That is quite enough, Lucius," Gwen interrupted, her eyes dangerous, "Fudge would not tolerate your discussion of the situation. After all, if you want to cheat other deserving workers out of money as you usually do, you need to be on Fudge's good side…"
"And if you want to help your little friend out, you will stay out of my way," Mr. Malfoy spat.
"Keep Remus out of this!" Gwen snarled, her cheeks going red with either fury or embarrassment, Diana didn't know.
"Who's Remus?" asked Malfoy snidely, "Your boyfriend?"
Diana glared. "He isn't, otherwise I'd know!"
"Oh, would you?" Malfoy mocked, "Or are you just trying to cover up that your aunt hasn't told you?"
"Like your father would tell you anything about his personal life?" Diana hissed back, "Not like that's saying anything."
"At least my father has a life," Malfoy snapped, "Unlike your pathetic excuse for a mother!"
"She's not pathetic!" Diana shouted.
"Then why was she so stupid to get herself blown up?"
Diana jumped on top of Malfoy, knocking him backward into two bookshelves. Dozens of books went thundering down on them from both sides as Diana punched every bit of Malfoy that her fists could find.
She heard a yell of "Get him, Dare!" from Marik; she heard Gwen shouting, "No, Diana, no!"; "Children, please…please!" cried the assistant, and then louder than all of them…
"Break it up, yeh two, break it up!"
Hagrid picked up Diana with his left hand and Malfoy with his right and held them at arm's length, even though Diana was trying to pull free. She had a cut lip, and Malfoy was rubbing a livid bruise on his cheek.
Hagrid put them on the floor. Malfoy smirked.
"Hope you're more in control at school, Randall…"
And with that, he and his father left the shop.
Diana breathed hard, glaring at the doorway. "I hate them…"
"Ya should've ignored him, Dare," Hagrid advised, "Rotten to the core, the whole lot of them…but that ain't an excuse te get yerself into trouble."
But Diana saw him wink at her. Gwen, on the other hand, was absolutely beside herself.
"A fine example to show for our family!" she chastised, "Do you really want to bring down our family name even more then it already has? It's bad enough that-"
"I don't need a lecture about our family!" Diana spat, "I know I cause trouble! I know I'm the burden of your every waking moment! I know I'm worthless, and I know you hate me! But for once, don't you think you could actually think about what went through my head for what I did? Well, let me think for you: I WAS DEFENDING YOU AND MUM!"
Aunt Gwen stared at her in silence. Diana shook slightly with fury, before heading out of the shop.
Her friends followed her out, and Bakura wrapped an arm around her.
"I don't care what anyone says," the Tomb Robber whispered in Diana's ear, "But I think you did a good job with Malfoy."
Kitty: That's it!
Bakura: GO DARE-KUN! (glomps his best friend)
Diana: (grins) Thanks, Bakura.
Lina: (glares jealously at Diana and Bakura) Reviews, Kara?
Kara: Uh... (looks) Five, and the first is from ANAYAS-CREATER.
Diana: (still being glomped) You're very welcome.
Seth: (looks down at his cotton candy) Sugar? (offers some to ANAYAS)
Seto: Yep.
Seth: Then why isn't called "sugar candy?"
Seto: They were attempting to be creative?
Seth: (stares)
Seto: What?
Seth: You...were actually kind of funny just then.
Seto: .....oh, damn.
Kitty: Okay, moving onward...
Kara: Next is Meanae the Thorn.
Harry: (grins) Ah, Hogwarts again!
Kitty: Fourteen at last!! (punches the air) And I've always wanted a sister! (hugs Meanae)
Bakura: (chews on his own cookie)
Diana: (puts on her puppy dog eyes)
Bakura: This is my cookie!
Diana: (pouts)
Bakura: NO!
Diana: (eats the cookie right out of his hand)
Bakura: (sighs) Oh, okay...
Kara: And...Claire!
Kitty: I better hope that witch doesn't seperate me and Yugi-chan. (glomps her bishie from behind)
Yugi: (pecks Kitty's cheek) And Seto and Seth rock!
Seto: (rolls her eyes) WHATEVER.
Kitty: Ooh, a surprise! I can't wait!!
Kara: Next is ZeldaAlly.
Lina: (grins evilly) Nice job with that brother of yours.
Kitty:Chez islucky he's leaving for San Diego with my dad and step-mom...otherwise, I'd follow your example! (grins evilly)
Yugi: (eats some of Kitty's cookies) Yum, peanut butter...
Marik: (takes one and bites into it) PTOO!! (spits it out, seeing worms in it) EW!!! (runs to the bathroom to wash his mouth out)
Kara: And last...Rainbow Guardian Angel.
Kitty: Thank you both. (smiles)
Yugi: And my mom is evil.
Harry: Worse than Dursley evil, if you ask me! (scowls)
Kitty: And it was a pleasure having you! (winks) The Bash-a-thon was most enjoyable thanks to y'all.
Noa: R&R!