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Chapter Two: Cause you can't jump the track
Chapter Note: Title inspired by Anna Nalick's "Breathe."
Everyone's eyes bore onto her everywhere she went hearing a few 'congrats' and 'best wishes' every now and then. Why the hell did she let Brooke talk her into a six month anniversary bash anyway? It's not like she and Jake were engaged or getting married, they were merely having a long term relationship and nothing more. Jake Jagielski, her boyfriend and supposed savior. That's at least the crap that milled around Tree Hill High, that if it wasn't for him, she would be a crack whore living on the streets somewhere begging for money. But that wasn't the case at all. Yes, he had come back to Tree Hill and he did make her happy, but there was still something missing something that she couldn't put her finger on for a while. Then an unexpected revelation occurred, Lucas Scott, the one who had broken her heart, was what was missing. The funny thing is he's dating her best friend, Brooke, and she's now dating Jake. Even if they weren't with other people, nothing could ever happen between them because of what happened between them in the past. Case closed, no questions asked.
She needed air; Peyton couldn't handle her hypocrisy and the lie that she had been feeding herself for more than six months. It was suffocating her slowly and silently. She did love Jake, but not the way he thought she did or deserved to be. Of course she said the usual 'I love you' everyday and at first she meant it. Now though, it just became a little saying that didn't cause any passion to flare inside her heart, not even a flicker.
Peyton made her way through the crowd as inconspicuous as she could, trying to avoid her peers' glances. She finally reached the back entrance where no one would bother her for at least a couple of minutes. As soon as she opened the door, the cool night's air danced around her.
"Sanctuary," she whispered slowly to herself as she closed the door quietly behind her.
She walked over to the wooden bench that was hidden by the shadow of the entrance next to it. It would make a perfect hiding place for her to be alone for once and not have to worry about the constant conflict taking place inside her.
Peyton looked up at the inky black sky which contained many stars. Too bad wishing upon a star couldn't come true for her once; she always was deceived with what she was wishing for. Life isn't fair and she was the prime example of that. Nothing ever went her way no matter how much she wanted it to…
Silently a tear rolled down from her hazel eye and down her cheek. Tears started to blur her vision, but she quickly regained control of her emotions which were running wild. Why did she have to be so weak? Peyton wiped the fallen tears away carefully, trying not to mess up her mascara, with a napkin that she had been clenching tightly to ever since she had arrived at the party.
Suddenly the entrance door opened abruptly and somebody strode out to the railing. They were overlooking the parking lot and street while breathing very heavily. Almost immediately, Peyton could tell who the guy was by how he carried himself. It was none other than the very person who caused most of the conflict within her, Lucas.
Peyton cleared her throat softly and wiped away some more of the wetness that still lingered on her face, "Hey there."
Seeing as he jumped slightly, Peyton could tell that he must have thought he was alone. Maybe he wanted the same comfort she was seeking as soon as she got to the party. He slowly turned towards her with his hand over his heart subconsciously. Lucas' face was a shocked and frightened and that caused Peyton to laugh.
"I didn't know you were such a girl," Peyton teased while she tried to cover her laughter.
His face softened a little, "Ha. Ha."
This caused Peyton to laugh even harder, but she controlled herself a minute later. "Sorry, I didn't know you weren't expecting someone to be around."
Lucas roughly ran his hand through his jagged blonde hair. "Yeah, I didn't expect anyone to come out of the darkness and scare the living daylight out of me, if that's what you mean."
Peyton smiled broadly, but didn't say anything. Soon an uncomfortable silence fell between them causing both of them to squirm with awkwardness.
"So, ugh, what brings you out here?" Lucas asked leaning against the railing of the balcony. "After all, this is your party," he looked down at his feet, "well yours and Jake's party."
Peyton looked down at the napkin in her lap and bitterly said, "Yeah, well, let's just say I think everyone here is wasting a perfectly good night."
Lucas must have sensed her unpleasantness because he slowly moved towards her and kneeled down in front of her. Her breath was caught in the back of her throat and nervousness began take over. Electric chills were sent all over her body and it was hard for her to concentrate. Lucas didn't say anything for a minute, he only kneeled there as if studying her.
"What's wrong, Peyt?" He asked in a tone which was very alluring to her. She looked down into his soft blue eyes which slowly started to mesmerize her.
Peyton had to breathe deeply to be able to keep herself aware of her surroundings. "Nothing Luke."
Lucas laughed not wavered by her remark, "Peyton, I can tell that something's bothering you."
"Nothing's bothering me, Lucas, so drop it." She said more forcefully; Peyton didn't want him in, he couldn't break down her walls this time. She wouldn't let him like last time.
Even though he didn't pursue the situation any longer, his gaze still pierced through her to the point where it was painful for Peyton to have him only a few inches away from her…her lips. She got up abruptly and walked over to the railing where he was holding on to when he came out.
"You know what?" Peyton asked changing the subject and trying to get rid of the feelings that were burning at her heart. "It's nights like this that I could draw and draw for hours without becoming tired or overwhelmed with my anxieties, but just be content for once."
She heard Lucas get up, but he didn't move towards her. "I understand how you feel. It's like that for me when I'm shooting hoops in the middle of the night down at the River Court. I can just shoot and shoot and never get tired." He paused and began to move towards her and when he stood right next to her, he finished, "It's like everything else at that moment's just petty and worthless except for making that shot and hearing it fall through the net."
Peyton's breath was taken away. He knew exactly how she felt and no one else, not even Jake, knew what she was talking about. But Lucas did. She looked away from his hypnotizing gaze and back down at the parking lot. Then Peyton looked back up at him, "Luke, d'you--"
The back entrance door was flung open revealing Brooke. "There you are Peyton, everyone's been wondering where you were." She grabbed her best friend's wrist and started to pull her back into the club, "Jake's been looking everywhere for you, too. He said that he wants to give you something."
"What, a drink?" Peyton said sarcastically, but Brooke didn't seem to notice.
"No, silly, think expensive and romantic." Brooke excitedly squealed.
Peyton looked over her shoulder at the jagged blonde left standing on the balcony and smiled softly at him.
He just looked at her with an expression she couldn't decipher, but her attention was immediately grabbed when loud music again reached her ears. Brooke led her over to the opposite side of Tric where Jake was talking with Nathan near the bar. He turned around when Nathan must've told him that she was coming.
Jake's face illuminated and his soft brown eyes sparkled incessantly. "Hi, beautiful. I was wondering where you were hiding."
Peyton put on a fake smile, "I just needed some air because I was getting a little claustrophobic."
Concern started to enter his eyes, "Are you all right now? You do look a little flushed."
Peyton smiled and nodded, "Oh yeah, I'm great," she lied.
Jake nodded, "Okay." He looked down and reached into his pocket, "Well, I, ugh… I wanted to--"
"Whoa, hold up everyone!" Brooke shouted into a microphone, "Jake's got something to say to Peyton." She pointed to the corner they were standing in and it seemed like everyone's eyes were now boring onto the two.
Immediately the club was silenced and the music was turned off. The silence was broken only by a door closing near the back of the club.
Jake began to blush profusely, "Ugh, I wasn't expecting this much pressure to be added to the situation," he paused as he pulled the box out of his pocket. Peyton's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock. Jake seemed to like the reaction he was getting, "Well, you know, I love you and since it is our sixth month anniversary I wanted to give you something to show my affection." He opened the box and revealed an elegant pearl necklace.
Peyton covered her mouth in amazement and then looked up at Jake. "You know that you don't need to give me anything like this! This, this is way too much!"
Jake's smile seemed to falter slightly, but he recovered. "I know it may seem like a little bit over the top, but since you mean so much to me I wanted this to reflect that."
Peyton was speechless, so many thoughts were running through her mind at once and it was making it hard for her to function properly.
"Well say something," Jake said bemusedly.
"Ah, th-thank you so much," Peyton stammered.
Jake kissed her happily and the crowd that had been watching with excitement started to shout when they saw this. 'Way to go, Jake' and the usual 'Ow-Ow' calls were being screamed by various students and the music started to blare again. Everybody witnessing the scene soon broke up into small groups and started to speak amongst themselves.
Peyton finally broke from the kiss and smiled at Jake, "Really, thanks Jake."
"No problem, honey." He said soothingly as he held her hands.
Out of the corner of Peyton's eye, she saw the blue-eyed blonde that held her heart without knowing it. As rapidly as happiness consumed her it was gone and guilt and heartache soon invaded.
Lucas was standing next to Brooke, he had a pained expression on his face, but that was soon covered when Brooke whispered something in his ear. Jealousy veered its ugly head now and Peyton definitely couldn't handle the scene. She turned her gaze back onto Jake and smiled, "You wanna get out of here soon?"
Jake looked at her with worry, "Is everything all right, Peyton?"
"Yeah," she said with a smile, "I just wanna have some alone time with you tonight. We've been preparing this thing the whole day so we really never got to spend much time together."
Jake nodded, "I understand, but we've only been here an hour and a half so we're going to have to wait a little while longer since this party is for us."
Peyton smiled and nodded trying to cover up her disappointment, "Okay."
"All right, well I promised Nathan and the team that I would finish telling him that blonde joke before you came over here." Jake said as he brushed a stray curl off of her face, "So are you cool with making the rounds alone?"
"Yeah," Peyton said softly. In truth she wanted nothing more than to escape again, but that wouldn't be able to happen since Brooke knew where to find her now if she did disappear.
Jake kissed her once more and then left her near the bar. Peyton looked around for something to do, but nothing seemed to be worthwhile or interesting for that matter. She sometimes caught herself staring at Brooke and Lucas laughing, hugging, and kissing. But what really made her curious was why did Luke look so hurt and heartbroken? He was happy with Brooke, no doubt, but why was he in pain? Nothing occurred to Peyton because she seemed to think that he was probably having a bad night and nothing more.
Peyton left the bar and headed over to Brooke, who was now in the DJ area looking through CDs. "Hey there, Brooke."
Brooke jumped up and looked over the counter. "Hey, P. Sawyer, having fun?"
Peyton nodded her head trying to convince her best friend. "Yep, I'm having loads of fun."
"Good! See I told you, you would." Brooke said with a content smile.
"Yeah, you did," Peyton said softly. "Now what are you planning on playing next?"
Brooke shook her head and smiled mischievously, "Nope, I'm not telling. It's a surprise."
"Whatever, but don't complain to me when people tell you the music sucked." Peyton joked.
"I resent that," Brooke said playfully.
"You should," Lucas said coming up from behind Peyton, "because your taste of music bites."
Peyton turned towards him with shock written all over her face. "Here," he handed her a wrapped present, "happy anniversary." His face was emotionless and subtle, but the way he said it made Peyton curious.
"Thanks," she said covering up her discomfort and when she reached out to grab the present, their hands brushed one another. Immediately, it felt like Peyton was chilled but hot at the same time for their first physical contact in a long time. She felt light-headed and breathless all at once and it was hard to keep her composure.
She looked up into Lucas' soft, majestic blue eyes and she saw something alive in them something that hadn't been there for a long time. Why did he make her melt so easily especially when she was supposed to have those feelings for Jake and not for Lucas, not him.
Peyton slowly took the box from Lucas finally and hopefully Brooke didn't notice their lingering stare. "Thanks," she said breathlessly still gazing into the alluring blue eyes trying to break but she didn't have the will to.
"Anytime, Peyt." He whispered, a small smile crept up on his easy face. His eyes darted from her abruptly and immediately they went from their lively state to a saddened expression.
Peyton turned to see Jake coming up behind her with a jovial smile on his face. He wrapped his arm around her waste and smiled happily down at her, "Hey there."
She smiled up at him, "Hey Jake."
Jake looked down at the gift in her hands, "Who gave you this?"
Peyton looked down at it too, as though she didn't even notice it was there. "Oh! Luke," she pointed to the blonde, "gave it to us."
Jake beamed at Lucas, "Thanks man, it means a lot."
Lucas smiled at his friend and teammate, "No problem, man." As soon as he finished, he turned and disappeared into the crowd.
Everyone else around the group would've thought that Lucas had made his polite condolences and nothing more than that, but Peyton heard a tinge of somber in Lucas' tone and his eyes which were illuminated before were a dangerous dark blue.
Jake bent down slightly and whispered in Peyton's ear, "You wanna get out of here?"
"Ugh, yeah. The party seems to be dying down somewhat." Peyton said looking around at the club for Luke.
"Okay, let's tell Brooke we're out of here."
Peyton nodded her head, but didn't speak. She would rather just go out discreetly and avoid everyone's watchful eye follow them out. Really though, Peyton didn't want iLuke/i to see her out, she couldn't bear the pain it caused to see him watch on holding Brooke by his side. Even though she didn't want this, she wasn't going to stop Jake from doing it, for some strange reason, she liked torturing herself and wallowing in her emptiness.
Jake led her over to the DJ booth Brooke was still working at. "Brooke," Jake said leaning over the counter, "we're going to head out."
Brooke looked a little disappointed, "You all just got here like an hour ago!"
"Try two hours and a half ago," Peyton said looking at her watch, "and besides, I would've stayed a little bit longer if you weren't killing me with the crappy music you've been playing."
Brooke feigned wiping a tear away, which made Peyton laugh, "Whatever, but I'm going to announce y'all are leaving since everyone can give you one last cheer."
"Fine, just don't make them shout in unison again," Peyton said sarcastically.
Brooke smiled genuinely, "Okay best friend." She looked around for the microphone she had been using earlier. When she finally found it she composed herself quickly, "Okay everyone, the lovebirds are heading out so give them one last rally!"
Cheers erupted from all over the club. People were holding up their drinks, others were patting them on the backs as they passed, and some were throwing confetti up in the air as they made their way through the crowd. Peyton couldn't help but laugh because the scene was actually kind of hysterical because they were treating them like a married couple.
Jake and Peyton finally made their way through the overbearing and rowdy crowd and emerged near the front exit. "We love you guys!" Brooke said one last time as they turned around to wave at her. Peyton was in mid-wave when she saw Lucas in the booth next to Brooke but he wasn't acting like everyone else. Instead, he was just standing their solemnly with his hands in his pockets, staring at her with a piercing gaze.
Jake turned towards her and grabbed her other hand and she regained poise, breaking her gaze off of the broody basketball star, and pulled her out of Tric, away from Lucas unknowingly.
Author's Notes:
Goodness gracious, that was a long one to write! Well, I don't have much to say other than please, please, please tell me what you think. I'm a little unsure about that chapter, so convince me otherwise! Thanks so much for reading; I can't tell you how I'm grateful that you do. You all are freaking awesome and I'm so lucky to have readers like you guys.