Chapter Four: Like the first time again
Chapter Note: Chapter title was inspired by Stereophonic's "Feel."
After the rather awkward but very worthwhile "platonic" friends chat with Lucas the other day, Peyton felt an extra spring in his step, whether she'd like to admit it or not, but it was there. She didn't understand the connection she had with the jagged blonde; she sometimes just analyzed it on sleepless nights and it always seemed to intensify her hidden feelings for him. Peyton was afraid that someday that the bearings holding them back would be broken through and everything would come pouring out. She couldn't take a chance on that, but for some estrange reason she accepted his offer to just be platonic friends. Maybe it was for the fact that she clandestinely longed to just hear his soothing voice or take a glance at the beauty of his soft blue eyes.
Guilt started to come into her system overcoming the butterflies and anxiety. Why? Because the night before Lucas caught her crying in her car and brought up his idea of becoming friends was the night everything came pouring out only it was to her long boyfriend and confidante, Jake. He had come home from his parents' house in a bad mood and she was in the line of fire. Their attitudes collided and they started yelling at each other for no reason. And then, Peyton idiotically slipped the words, "Well guess what! I'm not in love with you anymore!" That's when everything came crashing down, at least her cover did. Jake, of course, took her words to heart and walked out after saying, "Then what's the point of being together?" Peyton didn't tell anyone that she and Jake were through yet and she wasn't planning on it anytime soon.
Right at this moment, she was driving the record store to meet up with him for their first "just friends" hang out and she was a wreck. Nerves were causing her heart to beat rapidly and even made her second guess this attempt.
"This is so stupid," she said to herself as she pushed her new iDon't Believe The Truth/i CD by Oasis into her CD player. The song "Let There Be Love" started to seep through the speakers.
"Perfect; just what I needed." Peyton said sarcastically running her free hand through her hair, but she didn't bother to change the song.
She mindless watched the road as just listened to the mellow, but very powerful song. Without even knowing it, she arrived at the store a minute later just as the song was ending. Peyton got out of her car and saw that Lucas' truck was parked just a few spots down from hers. Seeing that he must already be in the store, Peyton took a deep breath before she went into the store.
The record store was playing a alternative rock song on low and the lights weren't turned on bright. iThe perfect atmosphere for buying music/i, Peyton thought to herself on many occasions. This was where she bought all of her CDs, vinyl, and even some unknown band tees so basically, she was a regular and known by name.
She looked around the store and spotted Lucas near the back. Peyton took one last deep breath to cage up all of her worries and to gain courage. It helped somewhat and she headed back there.
"Hey," Peyton said as she stood right by Lucas and started looking through the CDs aimlessly.
Lucas stopped searching and looked over at her. "Hey there, Peyton."
Curiosity getting the better of her, she quickly glanced a look at Lucas. "Ugh, what were you looking for?"
His goofy smile set its place on his lips, "Oh, just looking for some of the pioneer punk."
"Which bands did you have in mind?" Peyton asked as she started looking back through the legendary bands with direction this time.
He started to thumb his way through the CDs again. "I'm not sure; have any good ones you want to hint towards?"
Peyton smiled, "You're sad, but I'll help you're music handicap. Try The Clash and the Sex Pistols are my personal favorites."
Lucas nodded slightly, "Mmh, okay."
Peyton then headed towards the alternative section of the store and started to search for The Zutons. So far, nothing was awkward or weird for her hanging out with Lucas. Maybe that was because she was comfortable in this place or because of the particular song playing or maybe because of his goofy smile, she didn't know. The only thing that was actually coming out readable was comfort.
She saw Lucas walk over towards her a couple of minutes later. He leaned back against the rack and just stared at her.
"If I didn't know better, I would think you're staring at me, Luke." Peyton said as she kept looking for The Zutons.
Her comment seemed to get Lucas to snap out his stare. "Oh, sorry."
She took the chance to take a quick peek. Lucas was blushing slightly and looking in another direction, probably too embarrassed to look over at her for the time being. When he started to look back over in her general direction, Peyton pretended to keep searching for the Who Killed The Zutons CD.
A few seconds later, she found it. "Score!" Peyton exclaimed out loud as she pulled it out of the rack.
"What? What did you find?" Lucas asked laughing.
Peyton turned towards him, her eyes glued to the CD, "I found The Zutons."
Lucas now started to just purely laugh.
"What?" Peyton asked curiously.
"If I knew you wanted the CD, I could've lent it to you." Lucas said smiling as he looked up at the ceiling.
Peyton just stared at him. "You have Who Killed The Zutons?"
Luke only nodded, his smile still in place.
"Fine, I'll get it in vinyl." She said flatly as she set the CD back down and walked past him.
"What? Are you trying to outdo me or something?" Lucas teased as he followed behind her.
Peyton smiled, "No, not exactly."
"Uh-huh!" Lucas joked suddenly coming to a halt and crossing his arms.
"Whatever, I just want it in vinyl now." She said as she finally made it to the vinyl section of the store.
She searched through the Z section and finally found the record. Peyton turned around excitedly almost running into Lucas.
"Whoa! Sorry, about that, Peyt." Lucas said finding his balance after he took a step back.
Peyton felt her cheeks start to burn with embarrassment. "Nah, it was my fault. I didn't know you were right there. I should be more aware."
Lucas bent down to pick up the CD he dropped when he avoided the collision. It was Never Mind the Bullocks Here's the Sex Pistols her favorite CD by the Sex Pistols.
"Good choice," she said as she nodded at the CD in his hand.
He smiled, "Yeah, well I heard of some of the songs on it, I just didn't know who they were by."
"Well now you know," Peyton said shakily. For some strange reason she felt a little uneasy now. Maybe it was because their odd connection with music, art, and just general understanding for each other. Who knows, it was just starting to overcome her. "Um, do you wanna pay and get out of here and go somewhere else?"
"Um, yeah sure." Lucas said. She could tell that concern was starting to envelope his eyes.
Peyton knew he was going to ask 'what was wrong' so she didn't wait for him to ask it. "I'm fine," she said flatly as she made her way up the aisle towards the cash register.
"What?" Lucas asked taken aback, following on her heels.
"Never mind," Peyton said as she slid the record on to the counter for the worker to check.
"Hey Peyton," Zeake said as he tallied up the amount. "You're already back? I thought that your last stop a few days ago would last you at least a week."
"Yeah, well let's say that I'm here hanging out." Peyton answered as she swung her purse on to the counter and looked through it for her wallet.
Zeake smiled, "Oh, so he's you're boyfriend?" Peyton shot up and looked at Zeake, who was pointing at Lucas.
"No, I'm not her boyfriend," Lucas said; his hands deep in his pockets.
The tone he used caught Peyton's attention. She stared at him, trying to find a reason for his unusual sullen attitude right when it came to a deeper relationship or connection. The words tore at her soul and heart, but that didn't reflect on her face.
"Oh, sorry man; didn't mean to pry." Zeake said apologetically as he bagged the vinyl record. "$13.54, Peyton," he said handing the bag to her.
Peyton snatched the bag and gave Zeake $14.00. "Keep the change."
She didn't wait for Lucas to pay; she just stormed out of the store and hopped in her car. A second later, Luke emerged from the store and jogged towards her.
"Peyton!" Lucas said as he stopped right next to her as she fiddled with her keys. "Peyton, what's wrong?"
Peyton stopped trying to find her car key and just stared at her wheel. "Nothing."
"D'you really think I'm going to believe that, Peyt?" Lucas asked softly.
His tender voice tempted her to glance up at him. Luke's gentle expression was captivating. So much emotion was being pent up in his eyes alone. His eyes.
"Huh, Peyton? I'm not going to let that excuse slide by." Lucas pressed on as he knelt down to get eye level with her.
Her heart started to ache badly and her hands began to tremble. Peyton broke from his mesmerizing eyes and down at her lap. Tears started to cloud her vision, threatening to fall.
"Hey," Lucas whispered gently, soothingly. He slowly opened her car door and inched closer to her until they were only a couple inches apart from each other.
She couldn't hold them back any longer, so the tears of sadness and confusion rolled down her cheeks slowly. Lucas wrapped his arms around her and she felt close to completeness.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm here, Peyt." Lucas would whisper hoarsely every now and then as she continued to cry.
A few minutes of just crying her overwhelming emotions out, Peyton had cried as much as she could even though the pain inside still was devastating, tears couldn't express it anymore. She pulled back slowly from Lucas' secure and gentle embrace that supported her entirely and wiped the last stray tears away.
She sensed that Lucas' piercing gaze bore into her and the feeling was awe-inspiring. Peyton, out of embarrassment, couldn't bring herself to look at Lucas. She had let herself become weak, vulnerable, and exposed; Peyton didn't like the feeling. But temptation was more overbearing than humiliation so she sneaked a glance out of the corner of his eye.
His face was contorted with concern and his eyes were dimmer than she had ever seen them.
Peyton looked away and back down at her lap. She couldn't believe that she could cause so many sentiments on someone else especially Lucas.
Lucas cleared his throat, "Ugh, Peyton are you okay? If you're not, you know I'm here and I'll listen if you wanna talk about it."
She nodded solemnly, "Yeah, I know." Peyton, in vain, tried to smile. "But right now, I-I just need to be alone."
"Okay, I understand," Lucas whispered softly still not taking his eyes off her and she could still feel the piercing gaze.
Peyton fiddled through her keys again and found her car key and put it in the ignition and started her car. Lucas still didn't move away from the car so she could close her door.
"Peyton," he said louder than he intended and paused to recover his bearings. "You-you," he shook his head, "this isn't going to hurt our friendship is it?"
She looked at her wheel instead of looking at him. "Oh no, no it's not. Never," she said as she shook her head for an extra emphasis before looking at him.
He smiled happily and then stood, closed the door, and just watched her pull out of the parking space and drive down the street.
Peyton remembered the scene perfectly later that night sitting in front of her webcam as she drew the emotional and remarkable panorama carefully. When she finished she just stared at it, as if reliving the few breathtaking moments. She looked up at herself on her site and knew he was watching her because of that certain feeling in her heart when he did and it was there that moment. A small, delicate smile set on her lips and held it for a moment before shutting the webcam off, cutting Lucas off from looking at her masterpiece—their masterpiece.
Wowza, that chapter just poured out from me! Lol! It came out fluently and I didn't hit a wall once in that chapter. Hopefully I'll have better luck more often. Well, thanks so much for all of the support and compliments; I'm very grateful, really. I hope you all liked this chapter; it was more of a bonding chapter and applying the foundation before the good stuff happens (which I'm sure you all are thirsting for)! Please tell me your thoughts, opinions, ideas, whatever just tell me! I love reading, seeing, examining everything you write to me. Thanks so much for reading and I you stay around for the next chapter.