Chapter Five: What a feeling in my soul
Chapter Note: Like practically all the chapters prior to this one, the chapter title was inspired by a song, which so happened to be "Brighter Than Sunshine" by Aqualung.
Many days had passed since the overwhelming "just friends" hangout session between Lucas and Peyton. Neither of them brought up the incident with anyone else, they both seemed to quietly agree that no one should know about it since their friends and classmates would suspect a budding relationship to arise no matter what she and Lucas' intentions were. Plus, it was nobody's business but theirs.
"Confusion" by the Zutons sifted throughout her room and it seemed to complement her sketches perfectly. After all, she had to admit that she was a confused person in so many aspects, moreover with love and companionship. Not too many people would understand that, but really those few could look at her and see the emotionally tattered her, not just the guarded Peyton which actually made her feel normal rather than suffocated for some reason.
During school, Peyton and Lucas would cross paths every now and then. Sometimes they would find each other in the most unlikeliest of spots that would bring back their memories of their not-so-secret love affair. Like at the Library in that one aisle where Lucas told her that he needed her, which was the most exhilarating moment in her life and it also made her weak in the knees (whether she'd like to admit it or not). When they came across each other there, she was looking up Anthem by Ayn Rand and he was just walking by. It wasn't awkward, but you could feel the tension since the memory wasn't buried in either of their minds, or hearts for that matter. It ended quicker than it began because he said he had to go since Coach Whitey told him to return a book for him and then he was gone.
That scene was portrayed perfectly, in Peyton's eyes, as her newest and freshest sketch. There she was again sitting in front of her computer drawing away totally oblivious to anyone entering her house let alone her room either.
"P. Sawyer!" Brooke squealed as she jumped in her room.
Peyton jumped up in fright, "For crying out loud, Brooke!" She said as she put her hand over her heart and then became aware of the drawing on her lap which depicted her very secretive feelings of her best friend's boyfriend.
Brooke giggled as she plopped herself on to Peyton's bed and then rolled over onto her side and looked at Peyton. "Sorry Peyt, I just wanted to see the look on your face if I did it."
"Are you a jackass or something?" Peyton asked still a little shaken as she slowly slid the sketch face down into her drawer.
"That depends," Brooke said smiling, "do you think I am?"
"I don't think you want me to answer that." Peyton said laughing softly as she got up from her comfy computer chair and plopped herself down next to Brooke.
In response to Peyton's reply Brooke laughed some more. "I love you Peyt!"
"So," Peyton began after Brooke calmed down, "what's up?"
Brooke seemed to get even more giddy after Peyton reminded her of why she was over here. "Well since we're both dating, how about we double date?"
Once she heard the words "double date" Peyton's content mood lowered significantly. She hadn't told Brooke that she and Jake broke it off, Lucas was the only person who knew but she wasn't about to tell that to Brooke.
Nervously Peyton began to wring her hands. "Ah, Jake and I-"
"No way!" Brooke said sitting up and turning to face Peyton fully. "You cannot tell me that you and Jake are through because you both were perfect for each other, seriously."
"Well, ugh," Peyton smiled uncomfortably, "that may have seemed so from the outside."
"Then, why?" Brooke looked beyond shocked and confused.
This time Peyton couldn't find her voice to answer her question right away. "I just didn't feel the same about him than when the relationship began and he didn't deserve that so…"
Brooke didn't say anything, she just stared at Peyton as if she had a third eyeball. Finally she snapped out if it and she seemed to be even more confused.
"So wait, you didn't love Jake anymore- is that it?" Brooke asked with her brows furrowed in thought.
Peyton nodded, she wasn't up for talking about the painful memory. Yes, she didn't love Jake anymore, but she didn't want their relationship to have ended in the heat of a fight. It hurt her more that way than her guilty conscious of loving her best friend's boyfriend for the second time.
"Oh Peyton," Brooke said softly, Peyton guessed Brooke could see the pain on her face.
Peyton got up off the bed and walked over to her computer chair and sat down in it. The whole fact of "reliving" the break-up was a little too overwhelming for Peyton.
"Well, since we can't double date, you wanna come along with Luke and I to the movies?" Brooke offered as she looked over at Peyton, which she could feel her best friend's eye bore onto her.
Peyton looked over at Brooke and smiled softly, "I don't want to intrude and besides I don't want to keep you guys from having any fun." In all honesty, Peyton didn't want to see Brooke and Lucas make-out right in front of her; that would be more painful than anything. And then she would want to bail and Brooke would suspect something and even worse, Lucas would too.
"Nah, you won't. Besides, Lucas has been acting really weird lately. He doesn't want to screw around or even make-out! Do you think I'm losing my sex appeal?" Brooke asked. She was totally oblivious to how superficial she was sounding. Peyton was actually more intrigued with how Lucas was acting rather than Brooke's mojo.
"I doubt it, Brooke," Peyton answered with a smile on her face. "You're way too edgy and addicted to lose it, but Luke on the other hand was never that type so he's probably just feeling a little besieged."
Brooke nodded and then after a few seconds she smiled broadly. "Yeah, who am I kidding? I, Brooke Davis, would never lose that sort of thing."
Peyton laughed and then got up, "Are you sure about me tagging along on your date. After all, it's at the movies where it's dark and where you had your first make-out ever, won't you get a little turned on?"
Her best friend looked up in thought; Peyton could tell that that enticing little memory was tempting Brooke to tell Peyton she had reconsidered her invitation, which Peyton was hoping she would do. "P. Sawyer, why do you have to make me be tempted like that? You're way more important than making out with Lucas, anyway, that way is so cliché by now. I'm way more creative!"
Peyton laughed softly, she really didn't want to go because she knew she would see some PDA between them, but then Brooke was being really persistent and she didn't want Brooke to keep nagging her to go.
Even though she was feeling cornered in two aspects, Peyton finally said, "Okay," reluctantly.
Brooke clapped excitedly and squealed, "Yay! Now you go get ready, I want you to appear hot in ten minutes. Who knows, maybe you'll steal somebody's boyfriend there!" Brooke joked; if she only knew what Peyton was feeling at that moment, she would've never said that.
Peyton of course was shocked by that last off-handed comment Brooke made, but she covered her shock as she walked into her closet and looked for something to wear.
"No, no, no! I'm picking out the outfit, Peyton. Knowing you, you're going to wear one of your black rock tees and jeans."
"Precisely, it's only the movies. It's dark and no one is going to be looking at people's outfits when the movie is playing." Peyton replied as Brooke bustled into her closet.
Brooke stopped and looked at her, "Before and after the movie is over that is when people will be looking. C'mon Peyton!"
"Well you can pick something out, but that does not mean I will wear it, okay?" Peyton said grudgingly as she crossed her arms.
"Yes, I agree to that, but you have to try it on." Brooke said as she looked through Peyton's clothes.
Peyton rolled her eyes, "Whatever."
Five minutes and a mountain of mislaid clothes later, Brooke was done picking out the outfit she want Peyton wear.
"Done," she chirped merrily placing the outfit on Peyton's bed.
Brooke had picked out everything down to the accessories. Luckily she had incorporated her worn converse, a white rocker watch, and a red rock tee, which illustrated the band Oasis. Then she matched those with a black track jacket and a blue jean skirt.
Peyton turned towards Brooke with a smile, "You know this is what I usually wear, right?"
"Oh yeah! I knew that, I just wanted to make you get uneasy for a few minutes." Brooke said smiling.
"Gee thanks, Brooke." Peyton said sarcastically as she grabbed the outfit and started to change.
After she had changed, Brooke got out her cell phone and called Lucas.
"Hey there boyfriend!" She greeted, suddenly jealousy flared throughout Peyton's body.
The sickening infectious Brooke saved just for Lucas echoed off her bedroom walls and Peyton felt sick to her stomach.
"Well, I just wanted to tell you that it will just be Peyton who's joining us." Brooke said smiling over at Peyton when she saw that she was already done dressing. "Yeah, well Jake flaked out, so are you going to swing by and pick us up soon?"
Peyton was really coaxed to back out of the double date minus one just because of how she was feeling already, jealous, spiteful, and about ready to be sick.
"Okay, boytoy; see you in five," Brooke said beaming with happiness, "I love you!"
This was too much to bear, Peyton felt smothered and lightheaded and she didn't like it at all. She especially didn't like it because it was her feelings toward her best friend's relationship. But she knew that if she backed out now that Brooke would inquire why and she didn't feel like lying to her, not again. Peyton just had to suck it up and deal with the overbearing anxiety and jealousy for at least two hours.
Brooke hung up the phone and was too jovial to see state Peyton was in. "You ready for the night of your life?"
"Oh yeah," Peyton began, "can't wait." Sarcasm was laced throughout the whole sentence, which Brooke decided to overlook.
The next minute there was a honk outside, Lucas had arrived.
Author's Notes:
Well, I just want to say sorry for my inexcusably late update. My apologies are extended to you all and I hope this chapter made up for it! If not, just let me know and I'll make sure the next chapter is beyond great. Lol! I just want to thank everyone who's stuck around this long, I'm grateful. Please, please, please tell me all of your thoughts about the chapter, if you can that is.
The next chapter will pick up where this left off and it will be from Lucas' point of view! I love writing from his POV so I'm really elated by that fact. Besides, it's a perfect part in the story to switch views especially since we already know what Peyton is feeling, now we can know how Lucas is doing with the fact that she's joining the date.
And again, thank you to everyone who's read my story so far, you all are awesome and I'm forever grateful. Thanks.