A/N: OMG IT'S AN UPDATE! I got a little bit caught up with writing more of this(right now I'm writing the climax - so as you see, it's hard for me to put down the pen), so I forgot to update. So here's a somewhat long chapter for ya!

Chapter 7: A Fantasy Christmas Wedding

Dear Ted,

Please don't mind if I write this esp. sloppy and w/ a lot of abb. b/c if anyone catches me writing you…NOT GOOD.

Surprisingly, Mum was there 2 pick Cissa & me up at Platform 9¾ . Usually, some slave's there saying, "Mrs. Stentley's 2 busy, blah blah blah…"

But Mum was full of hols cheer or something b/c she squeezed us both & gave us both a reason why she was v. v. proud 2 be our mum:

"Andromeda! Horace hasn't told me about any misbehavior! Thank you 4 finally settling down." (That's hols cheer w/ Capella Stentley.)

"And Narcissa! Desdemona Malfoy says tht. you and Lucius are regularly corresponding! Oh, & the Ms are so rich!" (like we're not).

"Come w/ me, girls, I have a surprise 4 you both at P.C."

So Cissa grabbed my arm (seeing as if she grabs Mum's arm, it'll snap off), and Mum & I Disapparated to P.C.

When we entered P.C., it had all sorts of decorations up, which is never the case. Usually, 25 Dec. rolls around, and Cissa & I have to remind Mum it's X-mas.

"Doesn't it remind you of a winter wonderland?" Mum alm. squealed.

never

Cissa squealed right back, "Oh, yes, Mum!"

Then, out of nowhere, my cousins Siri & Reggie showed up. "Siri!" I yelled. "What're you 2 doing here?"

"Is Aunt D here?" Cissa asked eagerly. Cissa idolizes our Aunt D(enebola) for some strange reason.

"Yeah, both her and Dad are around here somewhere," Siri said nonchalantly (how would you abb. nonchalantly?)

yes

Then I saw Lucius come over and give Cissa a polite kiss (on the mouth!). Abraxas and Desdemona, his 'rents, followed close behind.

Slowly I realized just about every p.b. fam. was there…

& then Mum came back & made it 10x worse by saying, "Oh, yes, girls, Bellatrix is having a Christmas wedding!"

After this, Bella stormed out of the kitchen sobbing.

Personally, I feel sorriest for Rod L. - imagine, a girl crying b/c she had to marry you. Ouch

So now Cissa, Bella, Diana Casanova, Kaida Malfoy, Renee Akers, Magnolia Parkinson, Angela Singleton, two of the Nott girls, and I are all in Bella's giant room. This is hell. W/ paper snowflakes.

Hopefully, I'll survive this so I can be w/ you, Jos, & Fabe. I love you

Love, Andy

I grabbed someone's owl (Cissa's?) and quietly shoved it out Bella's window. This was awful, having to correspond with Ted, my boyfriend (!), like this. But he reassured me several times over that he understood why and that he understood my life - sort of.

Right after the owl was out the window, someone knocked on Bella's door. "Yes?"

"It's Bella," came Bella's husky voice.

"Come in."

Bella entered. Even though she was being taken over by Lord Voldemort, she still was bloody gorgeous. "Thanks, I needed to get away from Mum," she said distantly. Why'd she sound so far away?

"Oh, I'd imagine."

"We were discussing my wedding party. Apparently, Cissa, Kaida, Renee, and Margaret are my bridesmaids, and you're my maid of honour."

"Me?" I gulped. Didn't the maid of honour have to give a speech at the reception? I didn't like having to give speeches period, let alone in front of scores of pureblood snobs. And what was I supposed to say about Bella, Dark Lady of the Underworld? "Do I have to give a speech at the reception and all?"

"Knowing Mum, she'll probably be masochistic and say you'll have to." Bella snorted. "I'm having a bloody fantasy winter wonderland wedding. The last thing Mum cares about is what we think."

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One day, I was lying on Bella's bed, trying to avoid everyone, like usual, when a young, good-looking head popped in the doorway.

"Dearest cousin!" Sirius called. "Come, let's take a walk around, see if we can discover a couple of cupboards."

"Why don't you ever bother Cissa?" I asked as I stood up.

"She's not as fun as you," said Sirius, looking deathly solemn.

By now, I was right beside him. I rubbed his head and said, "C'mon, then."

Stealthily, we crept along (great goodness, what was with me and second-years lately?). We came upon some of the house-elves looking terrifically depressed. Sirius loves tormenting house-elves - God knows he does it enough with Kreacher - so we walked up to them.

"Ah, Mistress Andromeda and Master Sirius," said Tinky, one of the house-elves half-heartedly.

"What's wrong, Tinky?" I asked concernedly.

Tinky sighed. "Well, it's just…Mistress Capella has ordered wizard caterers, leaving Tinky and the rest with nothing to do."

Sirius seized an opportunity. "Nothing to do? You must be joking!"

"Tinky doesn't joke," responded Tinky. "Mistress Capella has no use for Tinky."

"Ah, but I do," Sirius told them.

Simultaneously, all of the house-elves' long, pointed ears perked up.

Sirius whispered the plan into Tinky's ears, who, in turn, whispered it to all the others.

"I don't know if Tinky can do such a thing to Mistress Capella; after all, Mistress Capella has always been so kind to Tinky."

"Mistress Capella won't mind a bit." Sirius waved it off.

"Well…if Master Sirius commands," Tinky said, and he led the rest of the house-elves away to work on Sirius's plan.

--------------------------------

On Christmas Eve, the night before Bella's wedding, I tried to be social. I tried conversing with those horrid Nott girls (but they just stared at me). I tried interceding on Lily's behalf with Felicity Singleton and Vesta Casanova (but they just insisted that she was a Mudblood). I even tried asking Lucius how his conditioner was working (but he just gave me an obscene hand gesture).

But there was a more pressing matter on my mind…

The speech.

I had asked Mum if I really had to give a speech as Bella's maid of honor, and she just blew it off. Like it was no big deal!

"Well, of course, Andromeda. You and Rabastan both will be giving speeches. It's part of your duties in the office of maid of honor, and I don't want any silliness."

"But Mum -"

"Mother," Mum harshly corrected.

"Mother, I hate speeches."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Andromeda, you're a simply engaging orator!"

"But Mother, I hate it. Can't Stan -"

"Rabastan." Merlin, why was she so bloody proper? What was the matter with calling him Stan? I knew for a fact that Bella and Rod called him that.

"Can't Rabastan give a speech? I mean, I'm sure one speech will be enough."

"Oh, Andromeda, our guests would love to hear some charming childhood anecdotes of Bellatrix's, and I hardly believe Rabastan was there for those."

"But -"

"So the issue is decided upon. You're giving a speech at Bellatrix's wedding reception, and that is that." Evil skeleton strikes again.

After Lucius flipped me the bird, I pretty much gave up on socializing and went up to Bella's bedroom. Qucikly, I found my sleeping bag, conveniently placed on top of Cissa's and squeezed by the wall. I needed to sleep it off. Maybe some inspiration might come to me in a dream…

Andromeda Black could hear a woman's lowered, husky voice. Yep, that was her sister, Bellatrix in the Gray Room.

Andromeda entered and sat in one of the many chairs set up. Once inside, she could see Bellatrix talking with Rodolphus Lestrange, her fiance, and his brother Rabastan; Antonin Dolohov; Augustus Rookwoord; Walden Macnair; Mulciber; Nott; Evan Rosier; and Igor Karkaroff. In fact, Andromeda could only think of one person missing…

"Honestly, she gets on my nerves so much!" exclaimed Lucius Malfoy, who had just barged in. Can't we just take care of her tonight?"

"No!" Bellatrix snapped. Andromeda jumped in her seat. She hadn't realized how deep into darkness Bellatrix had gotten. But now it was clear that any hopes of redemption were gone. "We must do it as the Dark Lord wishes. He said this summer."

"But she made a joke about my conditioner or some bollocks!"

As the rest of the Death Eaters made jokes about what a cheap shot that was (a lot like beating Rod at dueling, Bella even said), Andromeda felt her stomach hit the floor. And she thought she was going to have cardiac arrest telling Ted Tonks how she felt.

Her sister's cult was planning to kill her.

Andromeda just tried to breathe. One breath at a time…

"She defied the Dark Lord once, but I will personally make sure that she doesn't again," said Bella, a horrific look overcoming her eyes…

No!

My eyes tore open. Holy hell, holy hell, holy hell. I had a strange feeling that this dream, like the Bellatrix dream, was real, even without the weird Cissa specter.

It tried to breathe as I realized more and more that if Bella had her way, I'd be dead in six months.

------------------------------------------------

After drinking a pint of coffee, I started to relax…somewhat. I still had no idea what I was going to say in my speech…or how I was going to evade the Death Eaters come June, for that matter. Still, I had to just take everything day by day.

And somehow think of something to say about Bella that didn't involve how she was going to kill me in six months before the reception tonight

Oh, bugger it.

-------------------------------------------------

The bridesmaids, Bella, and I were all stuffed in Bella's room just before the wedding started. We were all sitting on Bella's bed, while some of the slaves applied Bella's panstick, did her hair, etc. I had a nice conversation with Cissa and Kaida Malfoy. Kaida's very nice; she doesn't seem at all like the rest of her family.

Which probably means she's next.

Oh, hell, I have got to stop thinking like that.

A knock was heard, which sent all the girls into spasms. "Maybe it's Rod!" Cissa said in between giggles.

"It's - it's Stan," came Stan's voice. "The organ's just started to play…er…are you ready to come downstairs?"

"Andromeda," called Bella, almost playfully. "Do I look ready to come downstairs?"

I looked over at Bella. Her dark, long hair was up in some fancy, twisty deal; her dress was snow white, strapless with a fitted bodice and a billowing skirt; her fierce, dark eyes were lined with kohl, and her lips looked redder than ever. "You look gorgeous, Bella."

"Well, if my maid of honor says so…we're coming, Stan." Bella looked around at her bridesmaids, who looked like they were going to die of the thrill.

I walked beside Stan in the hallway towards the flight of stairs that Bella would walk down to get married in the foyer. Stan was being extra-nice to me, since I was walking down the stairs on his arm. Apparently, somebody (Bella) told him that I got pissy and stroppy when I didn't like someone. Honestly. Which, as anyone who knows me well can, is not true. I haven't killed Lucius Malfoy yet, for example.

"So, Andromeda…you look lovely," Stan said nervously. I was wearing the bridesmaids' uniform of a light pink dress, similar to Bella's in style (but with straps, due to Cissa's being fourteen). I hadn't had a go at the makeup slaves, so I was wearing my usual of panstick, lipstick, and minimal mascara. I wasn't hideous, but definitely not lovely. "I got you a corsage, as sort of a friendly gesture, since were sister- and brother-in-law now…and…well, here." He took the box out of his pocket and slid it on my wrist. My goodness, what was this? The prom?

"Thanks." I grinned at Stan's adorable shyness. He couldn't give Ted a run for his money, of course. That, and the fact that he was part of the death conspiracy. Must not think of impending doom, must not think of impending doom…

The first bridesmaid-groomsman couple descended down the stairs. My breath was taken away by the amount of people inside the foyer. Oh, merde…

Soon, Kaida and Orpheus Singleton, the last bridesmaid-groomsman couple, stepped down the stairs. Stan and I counted to twenty aloud, as instructed at the rehearsal. After twenty, we laughed at ourselves, counting aloud like in primary school.

Stan grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Well, Andromeda…here we go!"

-------------------------------------------

Dear Ted,

Thankfully, everyone's left, and the other people in my family are preoccupied so I can write like an intelligent human being, thank God.

Well, the wedding is over and done with. Bella looked drop-dead gorgeous, which is usually the case, as any male will tell you (yes, even you). Rod looked rather dashing, but so did Lucius (gag me, please), so it must have been the tuxes.

The wedding was proceeding like a usual wedding (i.e. BORING). I almost took a little zizz, but Kaida Malfoy pinched my forearm and kept me awake. Honestly, Kaida is a goddess. She's not at all like her prat brother. A common misconception, Kaida told me.

When I'd get extra bored (like when the minister gave his homily-thingy or whatever it's called), I'd focus on the beautiful wedding cake at the back of the foyer, just sitting on a platter like a foretaste of what was to come. I could practically hear it thinking: "Oh, yes…you want to eat me…I'm just so luscious…" (sorry, I was really bored).

The minister had just started the "Bellatrix, do you…?" dealie when disaster struck in the form of three house-elves.

Tinky grabbed the bouquet out of Bella's hands and shredded it with his long, pointy fingers. "This is the bouquet Tinky was supposed to make for Mistress Bellatrix!"

Another house-elf, Bedelia, tore a large portion of Bella's skirt off. "Bedelia was supposed to make Mistress Bellatrix's dress!"

It continued on much in the same manner, which ended with Patunk pushing over the lovely, beautiful cake. It fell over in slow motion; I sweat, it fell for at least five minutes before hitting the marble floor. Mum got up and yelled, "No!" except I imagined her saying "no" in slow motion, though, which made me chuckle. Kaida nudged me, but it was too late: the Evil Skeleton was staring daggers at me.

The minister, noticing Mum's growing uneasiness, quickly said, "BellatrixdoyoutakeRodolphustobeyourlawfullyweddedhubandforricherorforpoorerforbetterorforworseinsicknessandinhealthtildeathdoyoupart?" (I swear on Merlin's smalls, Ted, it sounded just like that.)

After Bella said her "I do," the minister did the same for Rod. Once Rod had said, "I do," the minister said, "Ipronounceyoumanandwifekissthebride," and ran out of the foyer ahead of Bella and Rod.

The guests, obviously, were a wee bit confused about what to do, but luckily, Mum stood at the front and said, "Obviously, this didn't go as planned. Seeing as Winky, Bedelia, and Patunk destroyed everything we'd need for a reception, we're going to cancel it. Narcissa will be handing out gift bags as you leave -" (here she glared at Cissa, making her get the gift bags) " - Thank you."

I couldn't believe it. NO SPEECH. Oh my goodness, there hadn't been such rejoicing since EVER in my mind.

As Cissa scurried to the back to hand out gift bags, Mum grabbed my wrist and took me to the Red Room. Here she went full-on Evil Skeleton.

"Were you behind that dreadful house-elf attack, Andromeda?" she asked calmly enough.

"No, Mother," I said. Which is totally honest! I didn't even hear Sirius, and if I had, I would have put the kibosh on it…

…Maybe. I am only human after all.

"Andromeda, lying is a very ugly habit. Nobody likes liars. Liars are ugly and shallow cowards who are afraid to take their punishment. Now you wouldn't want to be counted among their number, now would you?"

"But I'm not lying." Somebody wasn't an Legilimens.

"Do not lie to me, Andromeda."

"BUT I'M NOT!"

"Andromeda Stentley Black, did you just raise your voice at me?"

"But Mum - Mother, you're being ridiculous -"

"I didn't ask if I was being ridiculous, I asked if you raised your voice at me."

"I don't know, you were there," I said, sarcastically. Yes, I know you're probably yelling at me now, Ted, but she was being such a bitch, acting like I was guilty until proven innocent.

"Impudence!" Mum roared. "First, conspiracy with the house-elves; then, falsehoods; then, you raised your voice at me, and now impudence! If you think you are leaving your room for the rest of the holiday, I regret to inform you that you are mistaken!"

Honestly, Ted, be glad you have Housewife of Britain for a mum. You could have a conniving, evil skeleton.

Before he left, Sirius came upstairs and apologized for getting me in trouble. He then grinned. "It was excellent, though."

"It was brilliant, Sirius. Love you." I gave him a giant bear hug.

He looked up at me in the midst of our hug and said, "You know, you're my favourite cousin, Andromeda."

And I stared him in the eye and said, "You're my favourite, too."

Sooo now I have to wait out the rest of hols in my room, so don't be surprised if you get owls about how attractively the paint on my wall is peeling. I love you forever and for always.

Yours always, Andromeda

A/N: Please, please review. And tell your friends to review. Start a chain reaction!