A/N I know, Lilly's exact quote was "A penis and a pulse" but I've heard it as "testicles and a heartbeat, the heartbeat's optional" for ages, I swear that my sister's friend coined it and thus, I will use that.

"Do you think that's all you'd be?" She asked, leaning her head on his chest. He was beginning to enjoy that, she felt comfortable against him, she just seemed to fit there.

"What?" He asked, trying to blink the sleep out of his eyes.

"Another ex boy friend. Do you think that's all you'd become?" He tried to think of something to say.

"Jordan-" This was not something he wanted to be doing right now, he did not want to be having this conversation, or rather, any conversation at the moment. Lying naked next to someone was not the best place to be having any serious conversation. Especially not when the woman that was lying next to him was the one that he had wanted for a decade.

"Do you?" He held her close, trying to think of something to say.

"I've seen you go through so many bad breakups and been the one there for you, I don't want to see you get hurt and not have anyone left to turn to." There, that was a nice, easy way out of things.

"So you think you're going to hurt me." Damn her. He was suddenly reminded of why so many men preferred airhead blondes. They didn't have the sense to twist your words.

"Not intentionally. But I can't-" She cut him off.

"Garret, I've known you for ten years, I know how you can be, I know what you're like, and why, if you've wanted this, if you've wanted me for ten years why are you avoiding this?" It was a good question. He didn't know why, but it felt as if this was wrong, as if he shouldn't do this, it felt so right, but at the same time there were alarm bells going off in his brain. "Do you think that you're just being used as the rebound man and I don't care?"

It was something that hadn't occurred to him before, until she said it. Was that what the little voice in his head was warning him of? That maybe he was just the closest warm body, that, as Lilly had put it, had testicles and heartbeat, someone to prove that she wasn't left completely broken by Woody? "Am I?" He asked her, wanting, needing to know that she wasn't just in this because he was there, and willing.

"I can't say when I came here I wanted to find someone else, but when you just-" She trailed off.

"You thought that would be me?" She shook her head.

"No, it's just that you already know me and you said it yourself that you can love me for who I am." He glared at her, she had him trapped, back against the wall.

"Jordan-"

"Just give me a straight answer, Gar, why are you avoiding this? I'm in the position to pull a Lorena Bobbit, so why not just tell me." He fought a flinch at the mention of the infamous woman. That was a very unpleasant consideration.

"I've been through a lot of shit, so have you, and I don't know if I want this to fall apart and wind up with us-"

"Falling apart." She finished for him, an d he nodded. "But you don't know that we'd fall apart." It was true, but then again, how did she know that they wouldn't? They lapsed into silence again, and finally the question that had been nagging at him since she suggested it came out.

"Alright, now it's your turn to tell me, am I just the rebound man?" She thought for a minute, and he could see the gears turning in her brain. That was not a good sign.

"If it wasn't you, I'd only want a fling. But it's you, I've known you, you've been my best friend, and it's not like we can turn back now." She had a point with that, but she still avoided the question.

"So what is it that you want to do?" He asked her and she had a mischievous gleam in her eye.

"Well I can think of a few things." She said, leaning in to kiss him. Screw the nagging in my head. He thought as she rolled on top of him.