Chapter #2

He had to be joking, I couldn't start now, I didn't even believe in superstitions and now I was being threatened by one I had never heard of. I've always laughed at people who get freaked out when a black cat crosses their path and here I was debating being told by a figment of my imagination

"I thought these were going to be dreams! I'm not even asleep!"

"Well actually you hit your head on the wall when you grabbed for the railing to stop your fall. Look," he pointed up at the stairs behind us, "you're right there." Sure enough I was sprawled on the stairs, unconscious. "So here's your first role, you work for Vizzini-"

"I have to work for that slime ball!"

"Yes you are going to captain their ship."

"I don't know how. I get sea sick."

"You will know how, not only that but you will know whatever you need to know, and you will forget about parts of the movie that would cause you to interfere." He clapped his hands and suddenly I was dressed like someone out of robin hood. I wore a baggy white shirt and brown pants. I also had light gray cloak on, (without the cloak the outfit would have been worse then working for Vizzini). Then I noticed that there were knives hidden all over the outfit. One up each sleeve, one in each boot, and one huge one hanging from my belt. It almost made up for the ridicules costume.

"So how do I get there?" No sooner then the words were out of my mouth then I stood in a forest, deserted except for three men and me, and a woman on a horse. The short man in my group spoke.

"A word my lady," The girl on the horse, Princess Buttercup I remembered, brought her horse to a stop in front of us and looked down, "we are but poor lost circus performers." There wasn't a person alive, at least one who could see, who would doubt that lie. "Is there a village nearby?"

"There is nothing, not for miles." She looked confused, obviously wondering if all circus performers were unable to realize when they were in the middle of a deserted wood.

"Then," Vizzini spoke calmly while Fezzik walked boldly right up to Buttercup, "there will be nobody to hear you scream." Fezzik reached right up and grabbed her neck, causing her to loose consciousness. And for some insane reason she couldn't get away despite the fact that she was on a horse and Fezzik was on foot.

A few minutes later the four of us, plus Buttercup, were at my ship. A ship I suddenly knew how to sail even if the waves were already making me feel queasy. While we were waiting for Vizzini to be ready to set sail Indigo was giving me some pointers on fighting with a sword while I showed him how to fight with a knife. Don't ask me how I knew, must have been the same way I knew how to sail.

"What are you ripping?" Indigo was asking Vizzini about the fabric he was attaching to Buttercup's now rider less horse.

"It's fabric from the uniform of an army officer of Guilder." I couldn't for the life of me remember what Guilder was.

"Who's Guilder?" At least I wasn't the only one who didn't know.

"The country across the sea," Vizzini sounded exasperated, "the sworn enemy of Florin." Well I knew what Florin was if that meant anything. "Once the horse reaches the castle the prince will suspect that the Guilderians have abducted his love." That would be Prince Humperdink, thinking of the name made me snort aloud earning me a worried look from all three guys. "When he finds her body dead on the Guilder frontier his suspicions will be totally confirmed."

"You never said anything about killing anyone." I decided that it wouldn't look good if I commented that the world would be better without a wimp like Buttercup, especially when Fezzik was being so concerned.

"I hired you to help me start a war," Vizzini said to Fezzik "it's a prestigious line of work with a long a glorious tradition."

"I still don't think it's right," Fezzik commented, "killing an innocent girl."

"Am I going mad or did the word 'think' escape your lips?" Indigo and I exchanged a look, Fezzik may not be the brightest star in the sky but he had a kind heart. "You were not hired for your brains you hippopatanic land mass!" I stood up quickly and started to get on the ship reaching for a large decorative knife that hung conspicuously from my belt so I could make Vizzini back down with force. Indigo grabbed my arm and shook his head.

"I agree with Fezzik." He vaulted onto the ship and I followed.

"Ah the sot has spoken." He followed Indigo to the top deck to continue yelling. "What happens to her is none of your concern, I will kill her." I didn't care about Buttercup but I was getting annoyed at Vizzini. "And don't forget this, never forget this! When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't even buy brandy!" He turned on Fezzik with equal viciousness. "And you—friendless, brainless, helpless, homeless!" I began walking slowly over to him from behind pulling out my knife. "Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed, in Greenland?" He turned sharply to walk away to find me pointing the deadly looking knife straight at him. "Don't think that you don't need me either Maggie. Before you worked for me we both know you had nothing. You had no life and no purpose, nothing to live for. You don't even come from around here, you don't know how to get back to the life you knew." I didn't stab him but I simply glared straight into his eyes. For a minute we stood there and then he strode off not looking at me as he spoke. "Get this ship started and let's head out."

I had already gotten ready to set sail so all I needed to do was to pull up the anchor and set out. Indigo had gone over to reassure Fezzik who was looking a little distressing.

"That Vizzini he can… fuss."

"Fuss… fuss. I think he like to scream at us."

"Probably he means no… harm."

"He's really very short on… charm." Indigo grinned while I snickered quietly as I hoisted the sails.

"You have a great gift for rhyme." Fezzik's face lit up at Indigo's praise, I guessed he hardly ever heard any.

"Yes, yes," He looked over at Indigo slyly, "some of the time." I couldn't help myself, I started to chortle out loud as I steered the boat out of the harbor. But Vizzini didn't seem to find it amusing.

"Enough of that!"

"Maggie are there rocks ahead!" Indigo called out cheerfully. Fezzik got the hint and answered him.

"If there all we'll all be dead!"

"No more rhymes," Vizzini stomped his foot in frustration, "now I mean it!"

"Would anybody like a peanut?"

"Ahhhhh!"

"We'll reach the cliffs by dawn." I informed everyone as the moon reached the highest point in the sky. Vizzini nodded and Indigo responded by glancing behind us for the third time in half an hour.

"Why are you doing that?"

"Making sure no one is following us." It made perfect sense to me.

"That would be inconceivable."

"Despite what you think you will be caught," it was the first that we had heard from Buttercup since she had woken up, "and when you are the prince will see you all hanged."

"Humperdink." I muttered under my breath and cracked up. Indigo and Fezzik gave me a funny look. "It's a funny name." I explained to them in a whisper but they didn't look convinced.

"Of all the necks on this boat highness-"

"Ship!" I interjected, it wasn't a big ship but after all it was my ship.

"-ship," Vizzini said with a rolling his eyes, "the one you should be worried about is your own." Just then Indigo once again peered anxiously behind us and Vizzini gave him a sharp glare. "Stop doing that! We can all relax, it's almost over."

"You are sure nobody's following us?" I left the wheel and walked over to where Indigo was looking.

"As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally and in all other ways inconceivable!" I was sensing a word pattern with Vizzini but I couldn't look around at him because I was staring at the ship that was following us. But Vizzini kept going. "No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast." He leaned back contentedly and then sat up. "Out of curiosity, why do you ask?"

"I happened to look behind us, and something is there."

"Another ship." I added, unable to keep quiet.

"What?" Vizzini rushed over to where we were looking out at the sea. "Probably some local fisherman."

"Out for a pleasure cruise at night, through eel-infested waters?" I doubted it and thought that Vizzini shouldn't act so naïve. Suddenly there was a splash and we all turned around to see an orange figure swimming away from the ship.

"Go in! Get her!" Vizzini pointed at her yelling at Indigo, Fezzik, and I.

"I don't swim."

"I only dog-paddle." Fezzik agreed making paddling motions with his hands. Vizzini turned on me.

"I'm busy sailing the ship." I said rushing over to the wheel and veering to the left. Giving up Vizzini hurried over to the side and called over to Buttercup who, obviously, hadn't thought this plan all the way through. Suddenly horrible shrieks filled the air.

"Do you know what that sound is, highness? Those are the shrieking eels. If you don't believe me just wait. They always grow louder when they're about to feast on human flesh." I saw her eyes grow wide with terror, I could see why to those things sounded like they meant business. "If you swim back now I promise no harm will come to you. I doubt you'll get such a promise from the eels." I saw his point but really, who did he think he was kidding. As he spoke several came swimming around Buttercup, I wasn't sure if she could swim back. I concentrated at maneuvering the boat as close as I could to the struggling Buttercup.

One charged, fangs wide, but Buttercup was rescued by Fezzik. He smashed his fist down into the eel and them lugged Buttercup out of the water and back onto the boat. Vizzini was yelling but Indigo pointed back at the ship following us.

"I think he's getting closer."

"He is getting closer" I growled, "his ship is faster or he's a better sailor."

"He's no concern of ours." Now Vizzini was binding Buttercup's hands together. "Keep sailing!" He snapped at me. "I suppose you think you're brave," he asked Buttercup, "don't you?"

"Only compared to some." She answered and stared at him. There was something in her voice that made me glance over at her, she had known someone who she considered truly brave. Damn television inventor, if he had let me remember more about the movie I was sure I'd know the answer.