Author's Note:

I apologize for the long delay. I was all set to write this chapter a week ago. Then tragedy struck, I lost my copy of Princess Bride. But never fear, I have borrowed a copy from my good friend. In honor of her letting me use her Princess Bride I am dedicating this chapter to her.

As always I want to thank my reviewers. My most recent reviews were from Mikol, enigmagirl2727, LOTRlover1066, and teenstar113. Your reviews were so nice thank you.

Chapter #8

"It just is not fair." Indigo said softly as I walked over next to Fezzik.

"Dead! How can he be dead? He doesn't look dead to me."

"We Montoya's have never taken defeat easily," Indigo said ignoring me, "come. Fezzik bring the body."

"The body?"

"Why bring the body," I asked repeating Fezzik's question, "if he's dead?"

"Have you any money?" Asked Indigo still ignoring us.

"I have a little." Fezzik said still looking very confused.

"I have," I looked in my pocket feeling as confused as Fezzik looked, "twenty-seven. Why do you want to know?"

"I just hope it's enough to buy a miracle," he answered, "that's all."

"That is not," I said as I followed him out, "a very good answer."

"Do I need to spell it out to you?"

"Yes," answered Fezzik carrying the body, "please." This got a giant sigh from Indigo.

"The man in black is dead, but we need him alive. The only way that will happen is if a miracle occurs. The only way a miracle will occur is if we pay a miracle man for one." He said all of this in one breath waving his arms around for emphasis. "Okay," he said after a breath, "any questions?" Both Fezzik and I quickly shook our heads. When Indigo turned his back to lead the way we exchanged raised eyebrows.

I don't know exactly what Fezzik was thinking but I was thinking that our plan to storm the castle was becoming more and more like a very funny joke. That or a suicide mission.

Indigo led us to a small thatched roof hut. He knocked on the door as we joined him.

"Go away!" A voice yelled from inside. Impatient I stepped forward and pounded on the door with all my might. A section of the door swung open to reveal the face of a little old man. "What," he demanded still yelling, "What?"

"Are you the Miracle Max," Indigo asked, "who worked for the king all those years?"

"The king's stinking son fired me," the miracle man said dryly, "and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it. We're closed." He slammed the door flap closed.

"A little bitter about the whole thing." I observed as I went back to pounding on the door.

"Beat it," the man yelled openly the little flap again, "or I'll call the brute squad."

"I'm on the brute squad." He looked over at Fezzik.

"You are the brute squad."

"I'm on the brute squad too." I said not wanting to be left out.

"I wouldn't have believed it," he said sarcastically, "until I heard the racket you made while pounding on my door. The whole hut shook!"

"We need a miracle," Indigo interrupted, "it's very important."

"I'm retired," the miracle man insisted, "and besides, why would you want someone the king's stinking son fired. I might kill whoever it is you want me to miracle."

"We'll risk it." I told him.

"He's already dead." Indigo explained.

"He is, uh," Miracle Max opened the door, "I'll have a look bring him in." We brought Wesley's body in and put him on Miracle Max's examining table. He began to look him over. Then he turned to us.

"I've seen worse." We all stared at him speechless, I mean the man was dead. The miracle man began to mumble things under his breath as he worked.

"Sir," Indigo interrupted, "we're in a terrible rush."

"Don't rush me sonny," Miracle Max answered, "You rush a miracle man you get rotten miracles. You have money?"

"Sixty-five."

"Sheesh," he said, "I've never worked for so little, except once. And that was a very noble cause."

"This is noble sir," Indigo assured him, "his wife is crippled." I did a double-take. "His children are on the brink of starvation." Oh I get it, he was making it sound noble. I had to admit this sounded more noble then, 'We want him to help us get into the castle so I can have my revenge on a six-fingered man.'

"Boy are so a rotten liar." Miracle Max told Indigo. Indigo leaned forward desperately.

"I need him to help avenge my father," he told Miracle Max, "murdered these twenty years."

"Your first story was better." The miracle man said calmly to a frantic Indigo. "Where's that bellow?" He asked looking around, "He probably owes you money? Well I'll ask him?"

"He's dead he can't talk."

"Ooh," Miracle Max taunted, "look who thinks he knows so much. Well it so happens that your friend here is just mostly dead. There's a big difference from mostly dead and all dead. Open his mouth." Indigo sighed and opened the man in black's mouth. "Now," said Miracle Max beginning to pump the bellows, "mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do."

"Do we want to know?" I muttered.

"What's that?" Indigo asked loudly over me.

"Go through his cloths," Miracle Max chuckled, "and look for loose change." I walked over and reached in the first pocket, then the second one. He had been carrying five.

"Okay," I said, "now we can pay you seventy."

"That is not our money," scolded Indigo, "why did you do that?"

"We need to bring him back to life," I said adding this five to the other money, "and we need to pay for that. I'm sure he'd want to chip in if he wasn't almost dead."

"Mostly dead," the miracle man corrected, "he's mostly dead." He put the bellows down and went back to Wesley. "Hey! Hello in there! Hey what's so important? What do you got here that's worth living for?" He pushed down on Wesley's chest and sound came from his lips.

"Tr-uu-ue Lo-oo-ve." Miracle Max jumped back from the body. Well I guess if it wasn't all dead then it wasn't a body. Or was it?

"True love, you heard him? You could not ask for a more noble cause them that?"

"Sonny," Miracle Max said, "True Love is the greatest thing in all the world. Except for a nice M.L.T. A mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich. When the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that. But that's not what he said. He distinctly said 'To blave' and as we all know to blave means to bluff."

"I didn't know that." I said but once again I was ignored. I notice that that's been happening to me a lot.

"So you were probably playing cards and he cheated-"

"Liar!" The shrill voice that interrupted him belonged to an old woman with wild hair. "Liar! Liiaarrr!"

"Get back," Miracle Max yelled, "witch!"

"I'm not a witch," she insisted, "I'm your wife. And after what you just said I'm not sure I want to be that anymore!" I rolled my eyes, what a match. One was bizarre and one was insane. I wasn't even to sure which was which.

"You never had it so good!"

"True love! He said true love Max!"

"Don't say another word Valerie."

"He's afraid," she told us ignoring her husband, "ever since Prince Humperdink fired him his confidence is shattered."

"Why'd you say that name," he asked, "you promised me you would never say that name."

"Humperdink!" She yelled.

"Ahhh!" He yelled.

And it went on like this for several minutes.

"Just start backing away slowly," I told the other two as Miracle Max started shouting 'I'm not listening', "when we get to the door run for your lives."

"This scares you?" Asked Fezzik.

"It doesn't scare you?"

"A life is expiring," Valerie cried dramatically, "and you don't have to decency to say why you won't help!"

"This is Buttercup's true love," Indigo told them, "if you heal him you will stop Humerdink's wedding." The miracle man rushed over to Indigo.

"I make him better Humperdink suffers?" He sounded thrilled at the idea.

"Humiliations galore."

"Public humiliations too," I added, "and that's the worst kind." Miracle Max started to laugh and sing. For safe measures I hid behind Fezzik.

"That," Miracle Max told us, "is a noble cause. Give me the seventy I'm on the job." He put on a ridicules hat and his wife cheered.

After we got the miracle pill and the instructions on how to use it we were all set to storm the castle. Sort of.