A Heavy Heart 10/20
Chapter Ten:
Alan rushes through the door of Charlie's room in the ICU only to be held back by one of the nurses. "I want to hold my son!" Alan wails.
"Please sir, you need to calm down first. You can sit with him and hold his hand but he can't be agitated in any way. We don't want to trigger another arrhythmia."
As desperate as he is to be near his son, Alan can't bear the idea of causing him more harm, so he holds himself back, nodding his understanding. The nurse lets him pass and she places a chair next to Charlie's bed for him. She watches him carefully until he sits quietly and takes his son's hand in both of his own.
"Charlie, please..." Alan begs. "It's not your time. You need to fight this, you need to come back to us."
Alan wrings his hand so tightly it would surely hurt if Charlie were conscious.
"Charlie, I'm afraid," Alan's voice chokes at the thought of what he's about to say. "I'm afraid that wherever you are you're seeing your mother and that's going to keep you from wanting to come back to us. I know how much you loved her and that she was the only one who truly understood you. As much as I love you son, I could never be what she was to you. But Charlie, that's not a reason to throw your life away, the life your mother and I fought so hard to give you. Please don't throw it all away now. Please come back. Please..."
Alan gazes at his son and prays for some sign that he's still in there, that this body is not just an empty shell that Charlie has already vacated. His only proof is the soft beeping of the machine monitoring his heart.
Alan gently lowers his head to his son's chest to listen for himself. He doesn't trust the machines. He needs to hear the real thing.
As he listens to Charlie's heartbeat, his tears fall to his son's chest and Alan is powerless to stop them.
As powerless as he is to keep the heart from faltering again.