Authors note: Thanks again to all those who already reviewed.
Another chapter a bit sooner than planned. happy Easter everyone!
Chapter 6
The usual navigational chatter of flight continued as they descended. Those who only knew O'Neill as the base joker would have been surprised by the accuracy and precision of his directions.
Carter kept to the flight path exactly with only the instruments to fly by. The view was brown, a thick brown fog that seemed to swallow them as they entered the atmosphere. They'd seen nothing for minutes, it was disorientating and a little spooky. At least in space they had stars; here there was nothing. The fog parted around the craft but did so whatever direction they took.
They were approaching in a low arc, as they finally dropped out the bottom of the mist and saw the planet's rocky surface.
"Nice," O'Neill muttered taking in the smooth rock that formed an undulating surface below them.
"Must be smooth from the lack of weathering or maybe some geological process," Carter speculated.
"Wonder why it isn't flat then?" O'Neill joined the speculation. He wasn't adverse to science just to long explanations. Guessing at stuff nobody knew, well that could almost be fun. Except the two 'geeks' on the team tended to come up with long logical guesses.
"Maybe it's volcanic or possibly it wasn't always like this." Although geology wasn't really her field, Carter's mind scanned the possible explanations but none really fit.
"I'm going to try the radio."
"Sure Sir, I'll start flying a basic search pattern, shouldn't need your assistance."
O'Neill touched the Asgard communicator.
"Asgard, Hello, any one reading this?"
"Identify yourselves and state your purpose." The reply wasn't an Asgard voice but they recognised it as the voice of the simulated Norse god.
"Friendly," O'Neill muttered to Carter, before replying, "O'Neill here, Carter and I have come to rescue you."
"You are mistaken, we do not require assistance." the voice still boomed as if spoken by a giant not a little grey alien.
"Yes you do, see the replicators are coming and Thor sent us down to get you. But if you don't want our help?"
This time the voice was recognisably Asgard and sounded almost upset. "But our research is incomplete. We were assured there would be time."
"Afraid you've got to leave now, OK? We have a plan but you're going to have to help."
"What is it that you propose?"
O'Neill explained the plan with only one or two hitches caused by a cultural language barrier. Everyone seemed to understand before Carter informed him that it was time to head up.
"Ready when you are Major"
She adjusted their course and they rose leisurely through the swirling mists towards space.
Once they exited the atmosphere, they formed an orbit in view of the sun. The ship appeared as only a tiny dot against the brown planet and was dwarfed even by the Asgard ship that remained close by.
Once they had nothing to do but wait, O'Neill asked, "So are you going to tell me or do I have to guess?"
"Sir?" She would have looked incredulously at him but couldn't as they were both forced to face forward by the craft.
"Why do you give up flying to other pilots?"
"I'm happy in tactical." She suddenly felt very trapped in the craft, no handy distractions from this conversation.
"Carter, I've see you fly and you love it."
"There are plenty of great pilots out there."
"That's maybe true, but your skills rank up there with the best, now stop avoiding the question."
"You're not going to believe I'm just a very nice person, are you?"
She checked the controls to see how long they had left and discovered it was too long in her opinion. She had to say something. She made up her mind that, if pushed, it might as well be the truth.
"Nope, Daniel does but I think there is a little more too it."
She took a deep breath and tried to explain, "It's because I'm a women, Sir."
"What?" He stammered before she could go on. Carter was like an advertisement for equality, he could not have heard her correctly. He wondered suddenly if it was an effect of the radiation.
"Sorry, let me explain. I guess you know what I did during the gulf?" He nodded, then realised she could see him,
"Yes, I read your file," he replied not saying when. Still feeling a little guilty about that, he did though remember exactly how many hours she'd spent in enemy air space.
"Well not everyone was pleased I was there. Most people got over it but 'General's Daughter' and 'Only women on base' isn't a bag anyone wants, but I took the jokes and mostly held my own." O'Neill imagined she done more than hold her own. He'd seen her calmly take on the verbal abuse of a room full of marines without backing down. "There was this one guy, Harrison, who wouldn't leave it. He said I'd get my team killed. He was a good speaker, full of stuff about the weaker sex, and some idiots believed him."
"There is no chance in hell that made you let men fly." Unless Carter had had a brain transplant since then he just couldn't see it happening.
"No, well not directly. I knew I was a good pilot, I thought I could show him, prove my point. But our first mission was a long way from a success. He'd requested not to fly with me but was refused. We were the two support planes for the retrieval helicopter that was going in to pull a ground team out."
"When we got there the situation was hot, we knew it might be, the team was on the run as we came in." Carter took a deep breath remembering the adrenalin and the fight, she continued telling a story she hadn't told since her debrief.
"Half the team made it to the chopper; I was coming back round with another line of cover fire when I saw a tank coming into range of the chopper. I radioed that I was shooting at it but Harrison started screaming that I was crazy. The chopper crew didn't know what to do, they were taking fire and men were screaming in the radio. Nothing was clear anymore, Harrison was shouting at the chopper to leave, but the captain wanted us to come around for another line of fire."
"Then Harrison left, just turned tail and ran. He was scared; first real combat despite his bragging. Two of the team died breaking cover for the chopper. I'll always wonder if with more cover…" her voice faded. She didn't want to talk about this again, had vowed not to, but she couldn't bring herself to lie to the Colonel.
"It was a mess, Carter, those deaths weren't your fault."
"I know I did my best but I should have seen it coming. He asked to fly with someone else." Her voice was even but too controlled and O'Neill could almost feel the tension in it.
"He was a coward, Carter, he would have bailed on anyone. Despite all the tests, some people freak when it is for real."
"I know, Sir, but it changed me that's all." She tried to close the conversation but O'Neill was still curious.
"What happened to him?"
"He was transferred. I never asked for details."
"They offered you a commendation for that mission?" He asked but he knew it must be true.
"How did you find out about that?" Carter's voice had a hint of anger now.
"It's in your file."
"I turned it down. It shouldn't be there." Anger was now clear in her voice and it was so rare that it worried him a little.
"It says you refused it."
"It shouldn't be there."
"You deserved it Carter," O'Neill pushed the point but it was a push too far and Carter answered without most of her usual self control.
"No I didn't, I flew with a person I knew had no confidence in me. Two men died, good men. They'd hiked over 50 miles to meet us and they died unnecessarily. If he'd been flying with people he trusted he might have kept it together. He honestly believed I wasn't safe and I didn't believe anyone could be that ignorant. I thought it was just like all the other jokes and puts downs, people sounding off." She paused, the anger was still strong after all the years, after all the other things she'd been a part of, this was still burned into her conscience. "I thought once you got into combat everyone was equally trusted because we'd all earned our place. Before you say it, I know I was naive."
"Just trusting, nothing wrong there," O'Neill tried to sound calm.
"My education came at too high a price, so there's your answer, I fly tests, I offer to not go on missions with people who I think honestly don't want me and I always fly second seat in combat." O'Neill didn't answer for a second or two and Carter wished she could see his face, see if he understood.
"You do know back at the start I didn't want you?"
"Yes, Sir, but not irrationally. I read up on you, I knew you'd be fair if I showed you I was good enough."
"You seemed like you'd have my head if I'd said no."
"Well, I was warned not to back down and I may have gone a little too far the other way. But if you'd really pushed I would have transferred to another team. I still try to fight to make people see I'm more than the girl."
"I doubt you've been just the girl for a long time."
"Well not since SG-1 saved the world the first time, but people still judge."
"Carter we all do. I've had people nearly kill themselves and others to impress me or compete with me." He tried to sound reasonable to make her see that everyone had characteristics that caused people to judge too fast.
"Those men thought we were leaving them behind, they broke cover and died because some idiot didn't trust me. Teamwork goes both ways, I have never been irreplaceable. If my presence hinders the aim, I'll leave."
"You know that's a really weird way to look at it." O'Neill thought about the teams he'd been in and guessed it was true. He was used to telling people they didn't fit the team but had never wondered if it was the team's problem or theirs.
"Yep, well I can't see it another way, I'd rather catch the sexists and the racists on base where it's safe, not risk lives on missions forcing the issue."
"I can see that, you've thought about this a lot haven't you?"
"That mission really screwed me up for a while. I still flew but I interacted with almost no one, I was trapped between a CO and helicopter pilot that were congratulating me, a crew that blamed me for the loss of a buddy whose cowardice somehow became my fault, and my own self loathing because yet again we couldn't save everyone."
"You can't always," O'Neill knew the truth of this and hated it.
"He didn't try and I like you don't like leaving anyone behind."
"Yeah, rule number one." He thought he'd taught her that rule but guessed it was fixed somewhere inside all soldiers. No matter how much you knew that sometime you'd have to sacrifice one for the many, no one should ever not hate making that call.
"We can head back now." Carter's voice was cool and professional again but as she spun the craft back into the atmosphere O'Neill saw her reflection and the pain in her eyes. He wished he hadn't asked but realised he maybe knew her a little better now. People were in many ways a product of their pasts.
Note: Well that's it for now, I am writing more but please let me know what you thought constructive criticism is appreciated as are any comments!