A/N: I'm amazed. I actually got positive reviews! Anonymous, that was the first flame I've ever gotten. It'll be saved with the gunk under my fridge for all eternity. Everyone else, thanks for the praise, I had a little trouble trying to get my new ego through the door, but I managed, seeing as I'm sitting here typing out a new chapter… Must…resist…urge…to…prattle…on…

Paul

"RAAAA! I'M STRONG!" shouted Paul as he broke a brick wall with the face of an alien drawn on it, in a cheap imitation of his Tekken one ending, I might add.

"I'M STRONG! I'M STUPID! I'M CHEAP AS HECK! I CAN BULLCRAP MY WAY OUT OF ANYTHING! I DIDN'T SETTLE MY RIVALRY WITH KAZUYA, BECAUSE NAMCO SEEMS TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THAT, BUT I BEAT HIS GRANDFATHER WHO WAS CHEAPER THAN ME! BRING IT ON YA FREAKIN ALIENS! BOOYAKA!" he shouted, his voice being transmitted to a satellite in orbit, which forwarded the message on too the freakin aliens.

The aliens, hearing the immensely stupid human, replied, "Ok," and blew up the planet. Small price to pay to see Paul die.

Paul woke up, and found that his hair had shielded him from the blast. Now he was stranded in space. The aliens picked him up, and tried to dissect his hair, but they couldn't cut into it. Then he just rammed them with his hair, followed by repeated burning fists and hammers of the gods. The aliens begged him to stop being such a cheap, but he didn't. He's probably floating out there to this day.

Law

"Uhhh, broke again…" said Law, walking out of some building that looks like it's in the slums.

"You're telling me," said Steve and Nina, who just happened to be walking by.

"Stupid Namco. We don't like being broke, dangit!" said Steve.

"Well, Bryan does," Nina replied. I really need to get more synonyms.

"That's true. Why Namco, why!"

"…You people are crazy," Law said, coming out of his shock at their random appearance.

"Yeah, but we're top tier baby, so don't mess with us!" said Nina.

"I'll break your face!" said Steve.

"RAAAAGH! THAT'S MY LINE YOU LITTLE BOXER! I'M GONNA BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA YA!" said Marduk, falling out of the sky. Randomly. And stuff.

"Riiiiight," Steve said, laying Marduk out with a single punch, "Jeez, I didn't even hit 'im that hard. Weakling." Steve and Nina walked off without another remark, while Bryan stormed around in the background killing random people with his broken self.

"I sure hope I don't have to go back to scrubbing dishes again…" Marshall said.

"DID SOMEONE SAY SCRUB!" Jinpachi asked, running up, "TEH LORD AND MASTER OF ALL SCRUBS AND N00BS IS IN THE HOUSE!"

"Shut up," said Law, who KO'd Jinpachi with a swift Dragon Uppercut.

Suddenly, Paul rode up on a rusty old bike, which promptly fell apart, leaving Paul to fall on his hair. Stupid hair. It shielded him from harm. He showed Marshall a bill from the bike shop of over thirty thousand dollars, with Marshall's name written in the little "bill to" line thing.

"C'mon man pay the bill already…" Paul said pathetically. Whiner.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Marshall screamed, before going into a fight screen, complete with health meters and Forrest's Tekken 3 music. Doing a dragon uppercut to KO Paul with, Marshall ran away until blackness enclosed everything but a little circle around his face, and soon even that was black.

Heihachi

Jinpachi awoke, and realized that he was changed to something big. Something big and very definitely white. Time out for you to have your dirty thoughts. I'm trying to keep the rating down dangit! Anyway, he noticed Kazuya and Jin, who for some reason or another he recognized even though I'm pretty sure he never met Jin. Anyway, they were chained to the big white thing also. As they put up a valiant struggle for freedom, the thing—now revealed to be a rocket—started to lift off. Heihachi watched through binoculars as his family went to the moon, and laughed.

"Can't wait to see them try an electric wind godfist there…"

Lee

"Hello, welcome to poolside bar and grill, may I take your order… Why the heck am I in a thong!" Heihachi exclaimed, "And why are you here, Lee!"

"I whupped Grampa remember?" Lee said, "And you're in a thong cause I want you in a thong. Now spank me like in Tekken Tag!"

"…Eww. You pervert, I'm your father!"

"Adopted father. So what, everyone knew I was gay when I did that little "Violet" thing in the King of Iron Fist 4, and now everyone knows that I like fugly old men,"

"…What'd you do with Jinpachi?" Heihachi said with more than a little trepidation.

(SCENE MISSING, BECAUSE IT IS WAY TOO FRIGHTENING FOR A HUMOR FANFICTION)

"…anyway," Lee said, adopting a Chinese accent suddenly, "Two fingers,"

"I GOT YOUR TWO FINGERS RIGHT HERE YOU LITTLE censored!" Heihachi said, using one on each hand. Lee promptly made his adopted father's bow tie spin like Roger Rabbit, upon which Heihachi blew up. Before blowing up, Heihachi had a flashback.

"AAAAAAAH! KAZUYA!" he screamed in his flashback, before exploding on top of a mushroom cloud. Raven appeared saying, "Heihachi Mishima…is dea… Wait, never mind, there he is," Then Heihachi died.

Lee pranced around as Violet for a while, then went to testify on Michael Jackson's behalf, with the testimony of "He is no more of a pervert than I am," causing Jackson to be convicted. Actually, the fact that Michael Jackson touches little boys might have played a part in that too, but Lee certainly didn't help anything.

Feng

Feng Wei, having defeated Jinpachi, looked inside the resulting crater to find the lost Shinken scrolls, detailing the secrets of godfist, that he was searching for. Opening the first scroll, a little dragon came off the page and went into his eye.

"HOLY SHICKING FRAP! THAT HURT!" the Kenpo master screamed, "STUPID DRAGON GET OUTTA MY EYE DANGIT!"

Feng walked away from the ruins of Hon-Maru and came back with a pair of tweezers. Failing to get the dragon out with that, he picked up several other, um, mechanisms, but nothing worked, as, coincidentally, none of them was designed to get a paper dragon out of a Chinese Kenpo master's eye. Finally, he plucked his eyeball out, shook it until the stupid little dragon popped out, then carefully placed his eyeball back into the socket. After that, he pulverized the dragon trying to fly back into his eye, shattering some randomly appearing mountain in the process.

Jinpachi

"So no one could stop the cheapness of my fighting style…" Jinpachi said, "Crap. Guess I'll have to do that final transformation thing," he said. Suddenly, "HOLY SHICKING FRAP! THOSE censored WHITE CRYSTALS censored HURT WHEN THEY POP OUT OF YOUR BODY! censored OW!

Bye-bye world...

Devil Jin

"MWAHAHHAHAAA! I HAVE THE POWER!" Devil Jin said after kicking Jinpachi's fugly old butt, "THE TRANSFORMATION IS MAKING ME CRY WITH ITS BRILLIANCE! MWAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! Crap, my mascara's running,"

Bye-bye world... Again.

Eddy/Christie

"Hey, Eddy, the operating sign just went out!" Christie said in a voice that was strangely different from her Tekken 4 voice.

"Shhh. Can't you see I'm trying to remove this patients writers cramp?" he said, as a buzzing sound filled the air, "Aw crap. I'm going towards the light, Christie... I can't help myself... It's so beautiful..."

"Frickin' operating room's bright lights," Christie said.

"Oh. That's what that is,"

a few weeks later...

Eddy and Christie were practicing Capoeira, or something. So sue me, I don't know how to spell it. Anyway, Christie sent a strong kick towards Eddy's head, and connected. Hard. Eddy hit the pool deck before falling into the water.

"CUT!" said the director, who randomly appeared to direct, "Christie's grandfather, you were supposed to catch her leg! Where the heck is he!"

He's over there, passed out with a smile and... ewww. I don't think anyone here needed to see that.

The director walked over to slap Christie's grandfather awake.

"You sick pervert," he said, "That's your friggin granddaughter there you freak! I give up. I'm going back to directing Ben Affleck, these people show too many creepy emotions,"

Marduk

Marduk was crowned the newest King of the Iron Fist. But that didn't satisfy him. So they also crowned him Miss America, Miss USA, and Miss Universe. That still didn't satisfy him, though he was proud to hold such honors. He challenged fighters day and night. Hmmm, is he compensating for something perhaps? I'll leave that up to you to decide, this chapter has probably already upgraded the rating to T. Anyway, his latest, immensely stupid I might add, challenge was during the middle of a boxing match. He jumped in the ring, beat the crap out of the old referee, and told the two boxers to come at him and get some. The boxers were creeped out by this, but they wanted to get his butt out of the ring. The idiots were caught in the even-stupider Marduk's hands. After squeezing for a couple of minutes, he banged them together (get those dirty thoughts outta your head!) and proceeded to rip the ring's elastic... strap... things in half. He shouted to keep the camera on him. Now Steve Fox, the top tier broken boxer was watching. And that's all he did. He got up with an angry look on his face right around when Marduk was saying that he was the greatest, and no one could stop him, but that was just because he had just realized that the guy at the drink cart had given him a Diet Pepsi instead of a regular. He went and punched the guy at the drink cart's lights out. The end.

Author's Note Space Whatever

Hope you enjoyed these parodies. I don't plan on writing any more, because I've looked through the rest of them and realized that they're all either unmockable in their stupidity, or just to funny already to make any improvement. Oh, and if you liked this, you might want to check out my Mortal Kombat fic, it's somewhat similar. Remember to review!