A Heavy Heart 15/20
Chapter Fifteen:
Don stands outside of Charlie's room, grasping Terry's hand for strength. He knows he needs to go back in. He knows he needs to convince Charlie to fight for his life. His first impulse is to go in there and say his goodbyes, to say everything he thinks he should say before Charlie leaves him, all the things he said to his mother before she passed on.
But Terry tells him not to. If he acts like Charlie's leaving him, Charlie won't fight. Don needs Charlie to fight, for both their sakes.
Alan leaves the room so Don can have a turn with Charlie. Terry gives Don's hand one last squeeze before she leaves him to look after Alan.
Don takes a deep breath and holds it. When he finally lets it out, he's ready.
He braces himself and walks into the room.
If anything Charlie looks even worse the second time he sees him but Don's ready this time. He's found the strength to draw on in his love for his brother and he hangs on to that as if Charlie's life depends on it, because this time it really does.
He sits beside his brother and takes his hand. "Charlie, listen to me," Don says into Charlie's ear. "It's time for you to wake up now. I know it might be nice wherever you are, but Charlie, you can't stay there. Dad's here and he needs you. You can't leave us like this. Come back... Come back, buddy."
Don keeps on talking to Charlie, not caring much what he says as long as he keeps talking. He needs Charlie to hear his voice to ground him, to give him a reason to come back.
Don's amazed when it actually works. After only a few moments, Charlie stirs.
He's so weak he can barely move. It frightens Don but he tries hard not to show it. Charlie can't speak at first but Don encourages him until he manages a few words with great difficulty.
"Donnie... Sorry..." His voice is more breath than whisper it's so soft.
"No need to be sorry, buddy. You're sick, we understand, but the doctors are going to fix you right up." Don hopes his light tone will fool Charlie into thinking this isn't major but it doesn't work.
Charlie shakes his head, an almost imperceptible movement. "Heart..." he murmurs. "This is bad..."
Don tries to convince him otherwise but he's not a good liar when it comes to Charlie. "No, buddy, the doctors say you'll be fine."
Charlie shakes his head again. "Tell Dad sorry... Love you..."
Charlie's eyes start to flutter closed and Don yells at him, "Damn it, Charlie, no!"
This startles him enough to buy Don some time.
"Charlie, stop acting like you're going to die, do you hear me? You don't have to die. You have so much to live for and all you have to do to get your life back is try! Don't surrender, don't give up. Fight! You're the only one who can do it, Charlie. I can't fight this fight for you. You have to want it. Don't you want to live?"
Charlie looks up at his brother and Don sees it: fear, real fear. Charlie's terrified of dying but he feels like Don did earlier, that it's inevitable and that he just should make peace with it. Don knows that kind of thinking won't save him.
"Goodbye," Charlie whispers, closing his eyes.