A/N: This is set after the current events of the manga (Chap. 353 as of writing). However, I will do my best not to spoil anything dramatic, and any references to the canon events will be vague. I think this fanfic will probably have 4 or 5 chapters by the end; I'll post them every few days! :)

Also, I'd love to hear any critique/advice you can give! I always strive to make my writing better. :)

I need your advice.

Aizawa hated conversations. He hated starting conversations most of all, especially when there was a good chance they'd turn annoying. But he'd swallowed his pride and irritation and sent the text. Maybe she wouldn't read it for a while…

His phone pinged with an answer.

"Bout time you asked! If you're looking for great date places, I'm an experience kind of gal. I'd be down for throwing axes or an escape room."

Aizawa groaned. He did not understand Emi's—Ms. Joke's—mind.

You're not funny.

"I think my quirk and shining personality beg to differ, but we all know you only play hard to get so I won't figure out how madly in love you are with me."

Aizawa rubbed the bridge of his nose. He could already feel a tension headache there.

From her spot on the couch, Eri rolled over in her sleep and whimpered.

Oh, yeah. That's why he had to put up with Emi.

Could you stop your infuriating flirting for one moment?

"Haha…I suppose you could call it…in-flirt-iating?"

Aizawa groaned and put down his phone. Never mind. He'd sooner call Izuku or Mirio to help him. At least they didn't make awful puns. Well, Mirio sometimes did, but at least he didn't hit on Aizawa with said heinous puns.

Emi must have known she'd pushed too far. "Sorry, sorry. I'll stop. What's up? You hanging in there? Long time no talk, stranger."

I'm fine. It's Eri I'm worried about.

"The little girl from the Chisaki incident? Didn't you take her in?"

Eri squawked in her sleep. "D…Daddy…"

Aizawa took his phone as he crossed the living room to be by her side. With his free hand, he took hers. Her breathing evened out; her forehead relaxed.

Yeah. I've adopted her.

Still so strange to have a kid call him dad. He'd never really wanted a "family man" role. But first, he'd been roped into teaching the UA students, and then he'd had to monitor Eri's quirk… and somehow, he found himself both caring and looking out for all of them.

But his feelings for Eri were unique. She was his daughter, after all.

"That's cute. Ready-made family when we elope, then, huh? :-)" Aizawa had barely read that message before the next came in. "Sorry—I forgot we're being SERIOUS. I've put on my serious glasses. What do you think?"

A picture came through of Eri with the eyepiece of a pair of black glasses clutched in her teeth.

"Sophisticated, huh? I just ooze intelligence and grace.

Or an old lady who needs reading glasses."

Emi, I need you to help me with Eri. She's been having nightmares.

The best trick to defuse a situation with Emi was to ignore her until she settled down. Kind of like you'd do with an overeager puppy. Redirect them enough times and they'd eventually get the hint.

"Nightmares? What do you need from me? I can't exactly make her laugh in her sleep."

No, but you can at least give her a break in her waking hours. All the recent events have been tough on her. She hasn't had an easy life in general, anyway. She needs some help loosening up.

"Loosening up? Ah, I see. You've called the right girl then, but you're treading on thin ice, my friend-who-is-in-no-way-my-boyfriend (yet). You may end up with a mini-me on your hands. What would you do then?"

Aizawa stared at his phone. Was it too late to block Emi and reconsider this whole ordeal? But he'd already opened the door. She'd probably show up at UA tomorrow whether or not he finished the conversation.

Please preserve my family's peace and my sanity. Do not teach her your awful puns, jokes, or gags.

He wouldn't beg, though. That would only encourage Emi to irritate him more.

"Sure, okay. When do you want me to pick her up?"

Whenever your schedule is free. She doesn't take classes right now.

"Saturday sound good?"

Yeah. Perfect. Aizawa hesitated before he sent another message: Thanks.

Of course, that was a mistake. "Ohhhh, you wanna know how you could REALLY thank me? ;-)"

Aizawa groaned. No.