Saturday afternoon

Paul went looking for Laney, finally finding her in the downstairs den watching TV.

"You've been awful quiet today." He observed, sitting down next to her.

There was no response from the lounging figure.

"I know John told you his big news." Paul prompted.

Other than a tightening of her lips the girl showed no signs of life.

"Want to tell my why you're so mad?" He tried again.

The volume on the TV rose in response. Frowning Paul grabbed the remote and turned off the machine.

"Are you going to talk to me or am I going to have to get mean?"

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" She snapped.

"Okay, mean it is." He shrugged. Reaching out he flipped her on her back and pulled her hands over her head. Raising his eyebrows he waited.

Turning her face away she remained stubbornly silent.

Placing both slender wrists in one large hand he lowered his other arm until his fingers brushed her ribcage. Again he waited.

"I'm not going to tell you anything." She taunted, biting her lip to keep from laughing.

Shaking his head he unleashed his attack. Soon she was pleading for him to stop as tears came to her eyes.

"Are you going to talk to me?" He asked again.

"Yes, yes. I'll do anything." She promised.

Helping her to sit up he waited until she had caught her breath before asking again.

"Why are you so mad?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. At his look she rushed to clarify. "I really don't know. Ever since John told me he has a daughter I fell like everything's changed. Nothing is going to be the same anymore."

"Thing's aren't going to change that much. We're all still going to be here. There will just be one more." Paul consoled.

"Yea one more that everyone is going to be paying attention to." She grumbled, hugging a pillow to her chest.

"Doesn't mean that we are going to ignore you, or forget about you. What are you going to do when the baby gets here? Same deal, one more person getting attention."

"That's different. With the baby I will be able to baby sit and take care of him and stuff." She informed him.

"Well just think of all the things you are going to get to do as a big sister to another girl." Paul told her.

"Like what?" She asked skeptically.

"Take her shopping; show her how to put on makeup. You know she's going to be envious of you because you're so much older." He speculated.

"That's true." She said thoughtfully.

"So are we all done here or do I need to bring back the tickle monster?" He said, flexing his fingers.

"Go away." She said laughing. "I want to finish my movie."

New Jersey house show

"Hey Jericho, what's up?" Journey asked, walking past the blond rock star.

"Nothing much. What are you doing wandering around?" He asked looking up.

"I need to talk to Dave and I'm kind of avoiding him." Journey confessed.

"Unhuh, are you in trouble? Cause you know if the yelling is going to get very loud I need to find my earplugs." He teased.

Ha, you're half deaf anyway from all that rock music. And no, he isn't going to yell. At least I don't think so." She replied frowning.

Narrowing her eyes she looked down at the paper on the table in front of him. "So what are you working on?" She asked curious.

"Just trying to do Fozzy's finances. God I hate numbers." Chris groaned, rubbing his eyes."

"Yea, well I happen to love them." Reaching over she pulled the paper toward her. Making some quick calculations in her head she wrote down a number and pushed the papers back to the stunned man.

"How'd you do that?" He asked.

"I'm good with numbers." She replied shrugging.

"Why aren't you an account or something?" He asked in delight as he realized she had cut out at least two hours of work.

"Give me a couple of years and I might be." She said smiling as he took off down the hall.

Knowing that Dave's locker room was at the end of the hall she slowed her pace and began looking for someone else to talk to. Anything to avoid facing Dave.

"Glen" she yelled seeing the big red machine walking towards her.

"What do you want?" He asked suspiciously, coming to a halt beside her.

"I just haven't been around lately and I missed everybody. That's all." She said brightly.

"Dave's in the meeting room going over his script for the night." The big man informed her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That obvious huh?" She asked sighing as she plopped down on a pile of crates.

"Whatever it is you have to tell him, it must be pretty big. I haven't seen you this nervous in a long time." Glen said, kneeling down so that he was eye level with her.

She shrugged, keeping her eyes angled away from him.

"Want a sounding board to practice on?" He asked gently.

"Not really, but I guess it would be a good idea." She said.

He waited patiently while she seemed to gather her thoughts.

"I'm leaving. I'm going away and starting college. I want to do something with numbers or math." She finally spoke up.

"That doesn't seem too bad. Why would he get mad about that?" Glen asked confused.

"Well see I feel like I have to do this by myself. I can't depend on people supporting me for the rest of my life." Journey told him, getting worked up over her cause.

"What do you mean by yourself?" The big man asked suspiciously.

"Meaning I don't even want anyone to know where I am until I get on my feel, get settled." The girl muttered, ducking her head.

"What is the point in that?" Glen asked in a quiet voice.

"If I let everyone know where I am going then they will insist on helping me. Stopping by or bringing me things I might need. Essentially I would still be relaying on everybody to support me." Journey tried to explain.

"But you are planning on taking the courses yourself, doing the work yourself, while working to support yourself right?"

"Yea" She answered sullenly.

"Then why do you have to cut yourself off from everybody? Why do you have to worry the people who care the most about you?" He demanded.

"It just seems the best way." She muttered.

"Yea, for you. But it isn't going to affect just you." He pointed out.

Journey looked to the ground, ashamed of what he was making her feel.

Glen cupped her chin in his big hand and lifter her head to meet his eyes.

"This whole thing is about growing up and becoming someone. So don't run away. Everybody needs some support in their life." He said giving her a meaningful look.

Releasing her chin he stepped back, sighing in disappointment when she dropped her head back down and pulled her knees to her chest. Rubbing a hand down her hair he offered assurances before striding down the hall.

Journey waited until she could no longer hear his footsteps before raising her head.

"He just doesn't understand that's all" She tried to convince herself as she wiped away a couple of stray tears. Unsure of what to do next she remained curled on the stack of crates, lost in thought.

"Journey, when did you get here?" Shelton asked walking up to the forlorn figure.

Giving the athletic man a watery smile she shrugged. "Not too long ago." She answered.

"Are you okay?" He asked concerned.

"No, but that's nothing new." She said, giving a small laugh.

"Anything you want to talk about?" He asked pulling her up to said beside him.

Shaking her head she leaned into his brotherly hug.

"Then you might want to get out of sight. Randy wasn't too far behind me." Shelton informed her.

Giving him a smile of thanks Journey began walking down the hallway.

Unable to get Glen's words out of her mind and knowing that Dave would say the same things, only in a louder voice the young woman stopped outside his locker room door.

"If I talk to him, see the disappointment on his face, I won't be able to stay firm. I'll give in to them and then I'll be right back where I started." She muttered, coming to a decision. Taking out a pen and paper she scribbled a note. Taking a deep breath she placed the piece of paper where he was sure to find it and ran from the room.

"Randy" Journey squealed as he stopped her from rushing past by grabbing her arm. "You scared me."

"Why are you so jumpy?" He asked as he observed her glancing nervously up and down the hall. "Are you hiding?"

"What? No, who would I be hiding from?" She asked, giving him a fake laugh.

"Hmm, I have a couple ideas. So how come you're not home with John? What happened to all that stand by you man stuff?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"I just felt that the best way to support him was to give him time alone with Ari." She defended herself.

"So why didn't you at least call him and let him know how supporting you're being." He countered.

"What business is it of yours?" She snapped placing her hands on her hips.

"I'm worried. You are not acting at all like the girl I grew up with. You took off at a time you should have been celebrating with the man you love, you're being secretive and now you're being just plain mean. Who are you and what did you do with my friend?"

"Listen I'm sorry, I just have a lot on my mind." She offered, reaching out to squeeze his hand. "And I'm running late. I'll catch up with you later and explain everything okay?" She said before taking off down the hallway.

"Somehow I doubt that." He muttered as he watched her run away. He couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was taking place.

Dave, I thought I had this all planned out. I was going to see you tonight, get the money from you and leave, disappearing from your life for the next two to three months. I know how much you would have worried. And yet despite that I felt it was what I needed to do. Now I just don't know.

Over the last couple of months I have begun to feel restless, unsettled. I feel like I have been floating through life the last couple of years letting you and everyone else live my life for me. There was no sense of purpose or direction. Recently it was pointed out to me that my life is meaningless and I am worthless. While I know this was said out of spite it verbalized what I have been feeling.

Initially when I made my decisions, which I admit where very spur of the moment and not well thought out, I felt like I had to do this on my own. That if I accepted support from anybody that it would mean I failed. That it would show me that I could not exist with out anybody.

However, someone very smart showed me that nobody could exist without any body. That emotional support does not mean that you are going to be taking my exams for me. Most likely I would succeed that much more with you standing behind me.

And yet there is still that part of me that replays all the situations where I have had to be rescued because I had screwed up my life once again. I need to prove to myself that I can do this. And I need to do it without the safety net, meaning you. And the only way I know to do that is to leave and not let you know where I am going.

Please don't worry. I am gong to be safe. I will be among friendly faces. And if at anytime I get in over my head or get into trouble I will call for help. I know that you will be there no matter how much I screw up.

I am so sorry.

Your daughter

Journey

After reading the note a second time Dave balled up the paper and threw it across the room. Jerking the door off its hinges he slammed into the hallway. Striding angrily up one corridor and down another he yelled questions to everybody he saw.

Spotting Randy up ahead he increased his speed. The young man pointed to an outside door before his friend could start yelling.

"She's got a two minute head start."

Boston

John waited until his daughter had gone to bed, relishing the feeling of being able to tuck her in. Once the bedtime ritual was finished he tracked down his sister, finding her in her bedroom.

"What did she say to Journey?" He demanded.

Nikki shook her head and pulled out an envelope. "I'm sorry John." She said pushing him out and closing the door.

John looked at the letter in trepidation. Deciding he wanted to be alone when he read it he headed for his childhood tree house.

Once safely up the ladder he broke the seal and pulled out a page of pale pink writing paper. Turing on his flashlight he spotted Journey's very small, very neat writing and smiled sadly.

Dear John,

How I hate not being there for you today. Not being able to celebrate, not being able to share the relief of you being free. You must be hurt that I wasn't there and very confused right now.

Someone would have told you that your mother said some very unkind things to me. And while I felt the blow of them I realize she would have said them to just about any body dating one of her sons. She doesn't scare me.

I have loved being with you. You make me very happy and I hope that I did the same to you. But the happier you make me the more I realized how unhappy I was with myself. And I truly believe that eventually I would have made us both unhappy.

Since my parents died I have been going through the motions, letting other people direct the course of my life. I have been like a leech, attaching myself to a group of strong people who have taken care of me.

I know that I am taking the coward's way out by writing you this letter but I am not strong enough to tell you to your face that I am leaving. I won't be coming back until I have made something of myself. Until I am worthy of having someone look up to me.

In no way am I saying Ari is the cause of my decisions. However without her I would not have been forced to look at myself so critically. And eventually I would have come to hate myself.

I know this is hard to understand. Please just know that this is something I have to do for myself. I don't know when I will be back and I don't want you to put your life on hold. I will always love you. But if you find some one that makes you happy then I want you to embrace her with all you got. I want you to be happy.

"I am happy." John whispered in the dark, wiping at the tear that slid down his face.