Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki.

--

The kiss, it was warm, Sanzo's lips were soft which amazed me because he isn't really a soft guy. I smelt alcohol, he must have been drinking trying to forget earlier today. I broke the kiss and looked at him, "Sanzo...you've been drinking."

"It was only a few beers, I'm not drunk. Trust me..." His eyes showed the truth but I couldn't believe it.

"Sanzo do you love me?" I wanted to know badly, for all I know he would be lying about not being drunk.

"If I didn't I wouldn't feel so bad about calling you names...I was worried! And upset that you were raped." He hugged me, I had to believe but Sanzo isn't like this. He's completely different, why?

"Sanzo...why are you acting like this?" I pushed away and looked up at him he frowned.

"Goku...I love you. And I'm sorry If I'm all weird...its just I feel bad. I know I can't fix what happened but let me help. If loving me means you'll be the same monkey I knew then so be it."

"Gojyo said to make a sweet memory tonight...he said it would undo what happened." I saw him roll his eyes.

"Tch stupid perverted kappa...but..." Sanzo sat down on the bed. "If you want to believe him then do so."

I walked over to him, "Sanzo...will you help me forget by making me remember something good."

Sanzo sighs, "You want to have sex right?"

I blushed, then looked down, "Y-yes...I love you and I want to love you without remember that man who raped me. Please Sanzo?"

He put me on the bed and kissed me, he broke it after a few moments and looked at me, "It wont be fair if you think of him if you're with me."

He kissed me again and as he did he starts to removes my clothes. His hands were cold against my skin, after removed my clothes he removed his. I watched him, I knew I was blushing like crazy. Sanzo has a beautiful body, everything was perfect and I loved it. He lightly pushes me onto my back, there he was on top of me looking at me.

All it made me think about was the nightmare I had, and considering my rapist was huge Sanzo was big compare to me. I started to cry, Sanzo looked confused and put his hand on my cheek, "Goku what's wrong?"

I sniffed, "I'm sorry Sanzo...but I didn't tell you I had a nightmare about me being raped."

He stroked my hair, "That's why Ill make it better..."

I shook my head, "No instead of the guy who raped me it was you Sanzo, and you were my rapist in my dream."

He got off of me, he looked shocked, "I see...but now that you know we were going to do it...you still cry?"

I wiped my eyes, "But I want this to happen..."

He nodded and sat me up, "I think I get it, your size makes you like a child. And when being raped you were useless, and you may still think your a helpless kid. You get what I'm saying."

I nodded knowing where he was going with it, "But Sanzo...I..."

"You be on top..." He looked me resurring everything would be ok. "You may think you are helpless form your size, so maybe if you were on top it would help you enjoy this."

I nodded, he laid down and pulled me on top of him. He was right, maybe it was because I could hardly see anything since a bigger man is blocking your view. He pulled me in and our lips met, he rubbed my back with his cold hands. I felt his erection against my skin, he sat up with me in his lap and kissed my neck. I felt myself getting hard, his soft lips against my skin and those cold hands rubbing my back. I grabbed his erection and stroked it, he moaned softly in my ear. I laid him down and put his legs on my shoulders and I thrust into him. He moaned my name softly, that got me more excited and I thrust harder now rocking the bed a little.

I went harder and faster into him, my body started to burn and I leaned in and kissed Sanzo. He put one hand on my cheek it was warm now, I guess his body was burning also. I knew I had to finish so I thrust harder and faster. By now I think Hakkai and Gojyo were awake from the banging of the headboard against the wall. Not like I cared I was enjoy this moment, I positioned Sanzo on all fours as I got behind and thrust into him again. He held onto the headboard moaning my name loudly.

Sweat covered his back, I too were sweating from this fun. Finally I we both were at our climax and we released, me filling Sanzo and him making a mess on the bed. I removed myself and fell to my back panting, Sanzo laid down next to me also panting, "Was...that something to remember?"

I smiled and hugged him, "I love you Sanzo..."

He hugged me back, "I love you too..."

--

After that Gojyo joked about the banging of the headboard and the moans from that night. But I haven't forgotten about being rasped but it was like it never happened. My love life is with Sanzo and only Sanzo.

I'm so happy to be with the one I love now...

--

Thanks for reading! Please Review! First Time making a graphic story...eheheh

DarthRhi