(Cue Toei Company intro)

"In the time before humanity, when the great lizards walked the earth, a storm brew across the sky of the old world; and down from the heavenly bodies emerged...a dragon, the Eternal Dragon. The Eternal Dragon's form twirled and curled about the stormy sky like a bright, golden vine of pure light..."

"You mean like a really shiny giant noodle?" peeped the question of a small child's voice.

"...er, sure, Gokou, like a great big shiny noodle..." the old man coped with the interruption."...but this noodle was a thousand miles long and as bright as the sun; the sky, the ground, and all life were under its control. But the Eternal Dragon found for itself meaningless in its infinite power, so to give it's life meaning, it decided that it would only use its power at another's request. But then that would make the dragon a slave to all who would speak to it, so the Eternal Dragon hid itself within the spirit realm, where all the equally powerful gods would not find the need to bother it...but not before leaving behind-"

"His balls!"

"...his orbs, get your spiky head out of the gutter..." the older voice rebuked."The dragon left behind seven orbs, each with its own number of tiny stars inside, across our mortal world. Whoever can gather all seven of these 'Dragon Balls' in one place will be able to call forth the Eternal Dragon into our world, and have the privilege of asking for whatever their heart desires..."

"Like a muffin?" the little Japanese toddler wished, staring at the old parchment held by the old man.

The elder chuckled."Now, you wouldn't waste the Eternal Dragon's time with that, would you?"

The happy pair sat on the floor of the child's dimly lit room, with the faded script near the fading lantern.

"We're talkin' about ultimate power here, Gokou, and you want to waste it on a muffin?" the old man inquired, pointing up to the spherical jewel that was crowned atop his hat.

"What about a magic oven that makes muffins forever?" Goku offered."That we'd never go hungry."

"We'd also get sick of muffins," the old man countered.

"Sick of muffins!? Dat's impossible!" Goku rapidly shook his head.

The old man laughed aloud at the boy."Never say 'impossible', Gokou-kun! You must be open to alllll possibilities; then you will find the best answer to life's problems is the least stupid."

Goku huffed, and turned over to face the window, or where the window used to be, before his grandfather had sealed it shut with wooden planks so that not even a single ray of moonlight could penetrate it."I wish the dragon would tell you to let see the moon."

"Why would you want to see the moon?" the elder asked; he playfully scowled. "so you can summon the evil Oozaru to kill me, so you can steal my Dragon Ball!? You are without honor!" he jested, as he tickled the laughing child all over.

But the boy suddenly yelped in pain."Grandpa! You're sitting on my tail!"

"Ha-oh sorry..." the elder stopped laughing and shifted his knees off of the mat Goku was resting in. "Anyway, the lesson the Eternal Dragon teaches us is that, when you have attained great power, don't waste it, find a purpose for it, to better yourself, and to better the lives of others."

The little Goku stared up at the ceiling in legitimate thought."...so if I do have an oven that makes forever muffins...I should give some of the muffins to other people?"

"Your wisdom transcends your youth, Son Gokou-Sama," the grandfather complemented as he pulled the cover over the little child's body and kissing his forehead. The man reached for the lantern, then rose to his feet."Such power would not only be a gift to you, but for everyone you meet. Never is one more powerful, as when they have others at their side..." he paced to the door and creaked it open (used to be a translucent shoji there instead, until the man replaced that as well). "...Goodnight, Son Gokou." he finished as closed the door.

"...g'night, Granpa Gohan..." Goku muttered as he trailed off into slumber.

Five Years Later

The mountains rocked with a thunderous mammalian roar.

Goku was on his knees, as a torrent of rain drenched his half naked body, his tears indistinguishable from the rest of the rain drops that peppered the mud between the weak arms that held up his small body. The thunderclouds obscured the full moon, leaving the weeping child all alone in a dark, cold, cruel abyss to match his grief; only not physically alone...

"...why...w-why d-didn't...you js' tell me...?" Goku whimpered fruitlessly out loud."Why...didn't you just...run away...?" he cried to the lifeless form, as though he could still hear Goku's voice.

Something long and furry involuntarily curled itself beneath Goku's person. Goku's frantic eyes whipped down at the appendage: it was his defining trait, the thing that made him unique from any other child, what he now understood was what prompted his grandpa from moving them up to a lone house in the mountains, what he now knew was proof that he was nothing like any other child...and never more then just then did he want to rip it off.

Just then, what sounded like the fading echoes of a passing supersonic jet resonated around the area. Goku's fingers clawed through the mud and into trembling fist, and the ground trembled with it. One more tear that fell from Goku's eye stopped in midair, along with the surrounding raindrops. Suddenly, Goku's hair started to defy gravity by floating upwards and waving to and fro like the black flames of his despair. Pure light could be seen awaken beneath his very skin as his heart flared with anger.

Goku's entire upper body vaulted upwards as he released an earth shattering scream of such agonizing rage that no child should be able to possess, his bestial fangs glistening beneath the thunderbolts and his pupils red as a pair of blood moons.

(Cue Title intro)

(Opening credits play through the following scene)

The sun rises over the mountains, their edges masked underneath the sun's beams. The cycle of nature moves as undeterred as always, the sky full of avian song, the forest bed bustling with all manner of tiny critters.

A squirrel hurridly scampers up a tree trunk, pausing briefly to look over some long furry tail and sniff it before zipping up out of view. One would assume such a tail would belong to a large monkey of sorts; but this particular tail trail up into the hole of a baggy pair of blue sweats worn by a humanoid being, who was lying asleep on a branch large enough to support his weight, his head propped up by his left hand as his elbow rested on the branch. The squirrel from before stopped on a slightly higher branch and peered curiously down at the young man's snoring face. The face immediately snorted loudly, making the squirrel bolt back into the dense leaves. The young man's eyelids cracked open, blinking quickly. Realizing he was in fact awake, Goku let out a wide yawn from his stretched mouth, his whole body swiveling counter-clockwise so that he was now sitting on said branch, stretching his arms and shaking his head, his wild main whipping back and forth. The very next thing that came from his mouth fallowing the yawn was the word"...ffffooooood...", the vocalization of his first conscious impulse, but perhaps that too was involuntary.

Goku let his bum slip off the branch as he plummeted down the ten meter drop with no sense of fear whatsoever, his feet slamming violently onto the ground, his knees arched from the otherwise painless shock. His midsection flopped himself upright as he once again yawned, stumbling toward the stream to his usual fishing spot. He lazily paced along the old wooden walkway and stopped over the edge and staring at his reflection."... Good Morning, Goku-san..." he politely greeted.

At this point, one would think that Goku had forgotten a certain tool for catching fish; but Goku never used a fishing rod to begin with, nor was he about to dive into the river to grab fish with his bare hands - sometimes he would do the latter, but it was a colder season, and he didn't want to catch a cold, so he went with his secret technique: turning around and crouching as though here about to relieve his bowls (not that he'd do so over his fishing spot) and teentalively lowering the tip of his long monkey tail into the surface of the lake. He twerked his butt up and down, causing his tail to wriggle like a worm; and not long after came what was, functionally speaking, his natural alarm clock: Goku's entire body cringed in silent pain, jolting his mind to full consciousness as something took the bait, prompting him to yank his tail from the river, carrying a prize fish with it that dangled from the tip, said tip curling within the fish's maw to hook it in his grasp. Goku bore no resentment against the aquatic creature was raised to eye-level - he would soon have his revenge as he always does...

Goku gripped the pike that skewered the large roasted fish from both ends and dug his fangs into the charred flash, stripping it down to the bone faster than any grizzly. He then downed a large bowl of rice and noodles respectively (because mixing the two is icky) into his throat soon after, all at rates that'd asphyxiate a normal human. Seconds after his was done, he belched like a crocodile, frightening any animal within earshot; he smiled widely in calm satisfaction.

Goku hoisted a wheel barrel full of water, and poured it into his mouth. Then he twisted his head to the right, and with his cheek muscles alone, sprayed the water from his lips, along with an obnoxiously loud pooting noise, showering his rice and radish crops with an even dose of moisture. He would sometimes ponder using the money he aquired from selling the produce he did not eat to purchase a tractor, like every other farmer he's seen; but he always shook away the idea, since he never saw a tractor plow a square mile of soil and spray water over it,so was content with pulling the ox plow he already owned.

As Goku prepared his bath, he repeatedly struck a pair rocks together over a set of branches to generate a fire. When no sparks were made, he grinded them together in blur akin to the beating wings of a hummingbird, until the stone outright exploded, his hands and forearms covered in fire. He stared dispassionately as his blazing limbs, shrugged, and placed them onto the branches to light them. Then he hopped into the metal drum filled with now warm water with his clothes still on, and wiggled and grunted in comfort.

The leaves of every disturbed tree whipped away and flocks of birds dispersed for the air as Goku bounded from tree to tree, up to the summit of the mountain, his mountain, Mt. Poazu, the mountain he has lived on his entire life, and had no reason to leave. He sailed through the air and touched down on the very top on his palms and soles. He took a lone look at the rising sun, as beautiful as ever, and it was here that he sought to routinely practice the most important aspect of his daily life on this mountain.

Goku, as always, took in a gently deep breath. He slowly parted his legs, and bent his knees ever so slightly. With his eyes closed, he gragually raising his limp hands, his palms facing the ground, level with his chin and slowly spread his hands out, trailing them down to make an invisible circle with his outstretched fingertips, his knees crouching slighty, in sync with his downward hands, then he raised his limp hands and repeated. In his mind, he was repetitiously forming the circular rim of a turtle shell: This was a style of Qi Gong, specifically the Turtle Style, the one he'd watch his Grandpa Gohan perform on this same spot every morning. He knew there was more motions to the ones he was constantly making, but he forgot the rest of them which his grandpa performed, so he settle with performing the first motions.

At some point in his trance, he'd change the pattern of his arm movement: instead of spreading them out symmetrically like a turtle's winged claws, he'd twist his arms in the opposite direction, counter-clockwise until they were almost vertical, and then brought them together, the palms flexed outward. Goku wasn't sure when he started this trend or why for that matter, but it merely felt natural to him. Perhaps it was also how grandfather did it.

Even so, end the end of every exercise, his hands re-met and clasped together as Goku closed his session with a relaxing exhale."Ka...me...ha..." he breathed, uttering the phrase his grandfather did as he completed the exercise. Of course, as with the rest of the movement, Goku did not remember the entire word, which was kind of a mouthful, so he said the easiest part of it. He hoped Grandpa would be flattered by the effort.

Goku hopped down onto a flat dirt surface, carrying his dried laundry within a barrel as he continued his daily routine, which he wouldn't trade for the world...

...and was instantly run over by a car.

As it happened, and as per usual, Goku was oblivious to the fact that this dirt surface he walked along once a week was in fact a dirt road that trailed up the lesser-known Mt. Poazu, so it would follow that Goku would be oblivious to any vehicles that would possibly drive along this road, let alone a vehicle that ran on electricity and so was much quieter than the usual automobile, a rather large vehicle, a sprinter van essentially, moving at an alarming rate of speed even for its size, operated by a driver that had no idea that someone actually lived on Mt. Poazu, a driver that had naturally cried "OHMYGOD!" a fraction of a second before colliding with the aforementioned resident head-on, making her slam the brakes and screech to a halt after the fact.

The young, purple-haired woman heaved her breaths in and out, her eyes stuck in their widened shocked expression as her hands refused to release the steering wheel, as though the latter would make a difference. She thrust her head out the window to look behind the van, only to see previously clean clothing fluttering upon the skid marks she had created, then receded into her seat: Yep, she definitely hit/killed whoever that was that was walking along the road; she could just picture the blood, guts, and brain of that poor pedestrian sprayed across her now impacted fender, giving her every good reason not to get out of the car to inspect the remains, but to hit the gas and keep on along the road like it never happened, just like Mother taught her...she would soon wish she has gotten out of the car...

Before the compulsion to push the ignition came to her, her ride creaked and groaned from beneath; soon her world seemed to tilt to the left, as her center of gravity in accordance shifted to her right, her hair covering her eye, her and luggage banging against the windows. Now, she wasn't dumb, she was fully aware that her van was tipping over like a cow, and now more than ever, she was happy that she still had her seat belt strapped, just like Father taught her. The glass-shattering shock whipped her head downward, her delicate body dangling at the mercy of the now suffocating seat belt, but she wasn't about to fall and have a concussion over a little (more) discomfort. She took a deep breath with what little a breathing cavity she had left: at least she didn't veer off the road...

"Yo! What's your problem, lady!?" demanded an irritated voice just outside of her disabled van.

With the I'll live sentiment established, she now took the opportunity to scan her warped field of vision, specifically through the overturned/cracked windshield, where she saw a young Asian man in blue baggy clothing, staring back up at her with a very annoyed expression. Before anything else, she endeavored to escape the uncomfortable position she was trapped in.

From the side of the van now facing upward, Goku watched the front door click open, and a thin, feeble hand shove it wide; the girl climbed and grunted her upper half into view, her gloved hands clenching whatever they could to keep her person from sinking back inside the vehicle. Goku noted her struggle. "You want some help?" Goku lazily asked, his arms crossed expectantly.

"No no, I'm fine! I can...do it..." she grunted her foot out of the car and crawl out, finally rising to her feet: it was a teenage girl with a long braided purple ponytail with a red bow on top; she wore a pink dress shirt with a belt tied around her waist, a purple ascot around her neck, one horse riding glove on her right hand, blue sneakers with purple socks, and...no pants, Goku noted as well. It was kind of like how the little girls he saw at the farmer's market dressed, but he was unaccustomed to an older girl with no pants, her bare legs almost gleaming in the sunlight - he was pretty sure his grandpa would have bopped him on the noggin for staring so long.

She dusted said bare legs off and took a deep pair of breaths, confidently resting her fists on her hips as she scanned the area (the suns rays peering between her thighs). She pulled out what looked like a compass and eyes it carefully."...at least I'm close..." she muttered. "Hey, dirty guy, did you see what flipped my car?"

Goku blinked at her in confusion, and a bit of offense."Are you serious?" he glared.

"I'm as serious as Sam," she replied, carefully navigating off of the totaled vehicle."A bear? Elephant? T-Rex? Gotta sue something for this crap..." she gestured an open palm at her van.

"Sue?" Goku repeated, unfamiliar with the phrase.

"No, not Sue, my name is Bulma, nice to meet you," she halfheartedly greeted, shaking Goku's hand with her gloved hand as though she were the President of the United States. "Not that I'm trying to blow you off or anything, but I'm actually in a rush, so if you could just watch my van while I continue from here, there's a sizable deposit as pretty as myself with your name on it, whatever the hell your name is - stand aside please..." she most certainly blew Goku off as she gently but abruptly pushed him aside with one hand, reaching into her fanny back and pulling out another small do-dad. She pressed the button on top before exclaiming, quite out of nowhere,"HOI-POI!" and tossed the small object like a live grenade. Seconds after rolling on the ground, and much like a grenade would have, Goku's eardrums were shocked with a frightening explosion of thick purple gas that scattered every flock of birds in the visible treeline.

Where Goku expected a smoking crater was, even further out of nowhere, a sleek modern motorcycle, which the young lady promptly swung her exposed leg over and started with an unusual motorized growl (as it was clearly an electric motor). She then zoomed off further up the road, leaving a trail of dust and a quite speechless Goku. The sheer bewilderment was enough to cause a single drop of sweat to slide down his temple. He quickly shook his head back into sense. Maybe that girl didn't know, but that road led up to only one destination, and that would be Goku's house. Instead of futilely running along the road after the superfast bike, Goku pounced back up into the woods to intercept her.

The girl known as Bulma screeched to a stop just before the quaint little house."Yesyesyesyesyes...!" she giddily muttered as she hopped off her ride and trotted for the structure without hesitation. With the compass-like object in her hand, she scanned the interior of the house as though she were looking for something in soon as she entered the larger bedroom, she whipped her head to see something that made her gasp with glee: there was a dresser in the bedroom on which rested a small orange orb that almost glowed in the dim room. She dashed for it and snatched it right off of the cloth it rested on."YES!" she beamed, until she noticed that the cloth was still attached to the ball, looking closer, it was the crowning ornament of a green hat. "What the..." she stared at the hat, then tried to pull it off of the ball with no success. She huffed, and walk away with the ball regardless.

She strode out of the house energetically. "You're only 42.857143% of the way there, Bulma! Almost halfway , despite that being mathematically impossible! Here's hoping none of them were split in half in the meantime..." she cheered for herself as she stuck the ball/hat into her pouch. But then she stopped, eyeing something unique in the sky; it appeared to be a bird of somekind."Huh," she noted in intrigue,"That's a big eagle...". Of course the sky is a funny thing; there is really no reference point to gauge just how big something is when it's so far airborne; So Bulma's following expression of pure horror was purely justified as the gigantic raptor swept her off the dirt and carried her back into the air.

A few seconds later, Goku popped out of the greenery and halted, hoping he beat that girl to this location, before he heard a loud shriek above him. It kind of sounded like that huge eagle that tries to catch him on occasion, only more terrified. Goku tilted his curious head to not only see said eagle, but said eagle holding the girl from before in its talons, the girl shreiking as loud as she could." K'so..." he hissed; he could not jump high enough to reach that bird, but thanks to being the grandson of Son Gohan, he didn't have to. Goku rushed into his house, and plucked the red wooden staff and its sheath off its mantle, and ran back outside as he thrust his arms through the sheath's strap; before he perused the eagle, he glanced at the girl's bike.

Bulma screamed louder than the wind that blew through her unfurled hair. She pounded the bird's yellow feet pathetically."SCREW YOU! SCREW YOU AND YOUR FATASS DINO-SAURIAN ANCESTORS!" she cried, at this point actually crying. As she let her hand droop to accept her dreadful fate, she caught something on the ground in her peripheral vision, something familiar and moving very fast.

Goku zoomed across the grass on the motorcycle, the staffed dangling in his back. He was heading straight for a hill, yet had no intention of slowing down; as he rockets up the grassy slope, the wheel soon parted from the dirt, and Goku was practically flying into the sky, go so far as to parallel the actually flying eagle. Goku kicked off the bike as he unsheathed his bo staff, pulling it back as he prepared to swing, despite the bo's length not nearly long enough for its arch to make contact with the bird, at least not at first...

"Nyoibō,Enchō!" Goku cried as he swung the bo. As the staff sailed along its arc, it spontaneously belted out in length, instantly passing into the bird's field of vision as, the bo reaching the end of its swing, slammed right into the eagle's face, Bulma's form immediately separated from its grip. In the heat of this moment, Goku was now faced with the problem of stopping the girl from plummeting to the same death as the eagle.

"K'SOOO!" The Asian boy cursed at hindsight herself, as he retracted Nyoibo, then extended it in Bulma's general direction. The desperate girl clasped the end of the staff, and Goku retracted his end, sending him straight into Bulma. Wrapping his left arm around Bulma's waist, Goku shot the staff out again, the other end jabbing into the cliffside, gouging a smoking line in the stone. Goku retracted himself and Bulma at the cliffside and the two ground to a halt.

Goku exhaled with relief, noting that he was only seven meters from the ground." That was easy..." he muttered; then, his nose wrinkled at a particular scent - he realized that the shivering Bulma's shirt was soaked in her own urine.

"I WANT TO BE ON THE GROUND!" she shrieked in Goku's ear.

Goku had to count this stranger, having run over him with a car, broken into his house, and stolen his priceless heirloom, to be very lucky, as his grandpa had taught him to be nice to girls. He led her back up to his house and left her to change clothes as he prepared her some fried fish.

Apparently, as she elaborated over brunch, her name was Bulma Briefs, the daughter of a famous scientist, and she lived far west from here, in Osaka. She arrived on Goku's doorstep specifically to find "Sushinchu", or rather his four-star Dragon Ball. Goku had a look of surprise, as he held her Dragon ball in his fingers, with its two stars inside.

"That's Arushinchu," Bulma pointed at it, "My dad won it in an auction last year and left it in the attic."

"He bought a Dragon Ball," Goku thought aloud, looking quizzically at Bulma," and left it to gather dust in his attic?"

"To be fair, Dad has a lot of cool shit in the attic," Bulma nodded, inching closer giddily,"Almost got his hands on the Iron Man suit once."

"Who's Iron Man?" Goku genuinely asked.

Bulma stared at the boy without expression."Do you live here or under a rock? Anyway" she shook her head,"I also found the Five Star Dragon Ball up north two weeks ago," she said as she added said orb to the table,"Now there's only four to go."

"So you seriously believe the legend?" Goku asked,"About gathering all seven and summoning the Eternal Dragon?"

"Totally!" she beamed, then blinked."I mean, I dunno about the dragon and stuff, but all I care about is the wish."

"What are you gonna wish for?" Goku asked.

Bulma stared at the ceiling thoughtfully."I've given a lot of thought to that; and I think the best wish I could asked for is..." she paused dramatically,"...the perfect boyfriend."

At this, Goku plopped the Dragon Ball on the table."A...boyfriend?"

"Mhm!" Bulma nodded. she also shrugged."I already have money, power, beauty, and genius; all that's left is a soul mate."

"You'd waste your wish on something you could already find by yourself?"

"The hell I could!" snapped Bulma,"Do you have any idea how many dysfunctional relationships there are in the world, simply due to the slight lack of compatibility between two partners? I want to wish for someone who'll love me more than I love him; a strong, beautiful, godlike man who'll sweep me off my feet as he lays waste to my enemies!" she went on, wrapping her arms around herself as she was caught in her daydream.

Goku's eyes narrowed in confusion at the strange girl; once again, a single drop of sweat dripped down his temple.

"But enough about me! What would you wish for?" Bulma suddenly asked curiously.

Goku blinked."What would I wish for..." He wondered, his eyes wandering...

*ROOOOOOAR*

"GOKOU!"

The memory flashed by like lightning, making Goku shut his eyes and shake his head.

Bulma smirked."You thought 'o somethin' dirty, didn't you?"

"No!" Goku barked. He sighed, slouching on the table; he grabbed the Four Star Dragon Ball."Look...when I was a kid, I used to here with Granpa...but then one day..."

Bulma's brows arched different;y in understanding."Oh man, I'm sorry..."

"Yeah," Goku muttered,"Maybe, with the Dragon Balls, I could wish for him to come back?"

"That's an awesome wish," Bulma smiled. In the next beat, she slammed her hands on the table, starling Goku."Alright then!" she began, rising to her feet."Let's do it!"

Goku balked for a second."Wait, you want to me to help you?"

"Yeah, dummy!" Bulma said."You're a big he-man and I'm a cute lil' girl! I can't go on a dangerous adventure by myself, and I could use you and that magic growing wood of yours...the staff I mean."

"What else would be talking about?"

"Nevermind, what do you say?" she held out her bare hand."Would you like to see the world, Son Goku?"

Goku stared at the hand in wonder, knowing what it would mean for him. Even so, he smiled and clasped her hand."Let's gather the Dragon Balls!"