It was ten o'clock the next morning when the doorbell rang. Caitlin and I had fallen asleep in front of the computer, having spent about two hours trying to figure out why it had stopped working. We jolted awake and ran to the door, only to find Jess standing outside.

"What the fuck took you so long?" she shouted, obviously agitated.

"We were asleep in front of the computer," I said.

"Why?" she asked.

"It's a LOOOOONG story," Caitlin said.

She peered around us and looked inside the house. "And where are Abby and Rebecca?"

We heard Abby's voice shout from the computer room. "SNOGGING!" We turned around and looked into the hallway. There was silence. "Not with each other!" she added hastily.

Caitlin and I grabbed Jess and dragged her into the room to find that the computer had turned on again. "What the hell...?" I said.

"WILL SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!" Jess yelled.

Abby and Rebecca had no trouble readjusting to life in Hogwarts. In fact, they never wanted to leave! They really didn't have to worry about it at the moment, anyway, because Alex and Caitlin had no idea how to get them back out. Besides, it was the first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and Abby and Rebecca wanted to see what the outcome would be.

"ABBY!" Rebecca shouted. "WE'RE GONNA BE LATE IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP!"

"SORRY!" Abby responded, running down the steps from the boys' dormitory, arm-in-arm with Ron. "We were snogging."

"Ron, aren't you on the team?" Rebecca asked.

"Oh...right," Ron said, obviously disappointed. "Bye, Abby." He pulled Abby close and they started making out again. Rebecca slapped him.

"GO PLAY QUIDDITCH!"

"Mmmmm...snog," Caitlin said dreamily.

"What the fuck, Caitlin?" Jess stared at Caitlin, bewildered.

Abby and Rebecca sat side-by-side in the stands of the Quidditch stadium.

"Wow...Harry has a really long broomstick," Rebecca said.

"So does Ron. Believe me," Abby replied devilishly.

"And look at how well he handles those balls!" Rebecca exclaimed. "Wait, where's Draco?"

"He died on the Hogwarts Express, remember?"

"Oh, right! YES!"

"Okay, so all this happened last night?" Jess asked.

"I know it sounds crazy, but all of it's true," I said.

"Oh, no, I believe it, I'm just PISSED I wasn't here!"

The three of us sat there in silence for a moment or two.

"Is there any way to get them out?" Jess asked.

"Not that we've figured out yet," Caitlin said.

"What are their parents gonna say?" Jess inquired.

"Oh, shit," I said. "We hadn't thought of that."

"Apparently you haven't thought much," Jess retorted.

"Well, they're not coming until four this afternoon. We have time," Caitlin said. She stopped and thought for a moment. "Why am I not in the story yet?" She jumped at the computer screen and disappeared.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jess and I yelled simultaneously. Jess jumped at the screen, too, apparently trying to bring Caitlin back. She cracked into it and bounced off, landing in a heap on the floor.

"Well, that was brilliant," I grumbled sarcastically.

Abby and Rebecca were enjoying the Quidditch match when they saw Caitlin fall out of the sky.

"Oh my God, she landed on Ron's broomstick!" Rebecca exclaimed.

"Is- is she okay?" Abby asked concernedly.

"Who cares? She landed on Ron's BROOMSTICK!" She started laughing and Abby joined in after a few seconds.

"Haha...it's funny 'cause broomstick could actually mean penis," Abby chuckled.

They didn't notice when Caitlin lurched, unconcious, off the broomstick and fell twenty feet to the ground.

All the Quidditch players landed on the pitch as Dumbledore staggered out of the crowd of people and approached Caitlin. Abby and Rebecca ran after him.

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be dead?" Abby asked.

"Nah...just WASTED!" Dumbledore shouted. He belched and toppled over.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Rebecca questioned.

"I guess we take her to the hospital wing," Abby said. She looked disdainfully at Dumbledore. "And him, too."

"I hope Caitlin's okay," I said to Jess.

"I wonder where she landed," Jess pondered.

It was already eleven o'clock, and we had no clue what to do.

"I'm gonna go get me some cookies," Jess said as she got up and went to the kitchen. I sat there for a few seconds, then shrugged and jumped in the computer. Jess came back in after five minutes to find the room empty.

"Hey Alex, where are- DAMN YOU, YOU WHORE!" she shouted, realizing I had gone in without her. She stared at the computer screen, dumbfounded, then paused and knocked over a chair for effect. When she realized I wasn't coming back, she lunged at the computer.

"Blue skidoo, we can too!" she sang cheerily as she disappeared.