Disclaimer – We do not own Kingdom Hearts, nor have anything to do with its characters. This is a story for our own little amusement, not a reason to get sued.

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Author's Note (Takoda) – Bloop, look. We're still writing in this story. Isn't that amazing. Meep, I've been preoccupied lately, with Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories, so x3 And… I got FFX. Yes. I did o.o; Now, in this chapter, Sora is going to spaz :D! Hee. I like making Sora all spazzy-like. Anyway.

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Letters of the Faded Heart
Chapter Three

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Riku—

Could I ask you something? Just a little tiny thing that I need an answer to. You said you read my letter, right? My love letter, if you will, praying that Kairi was alive, and that she'd stay alive, and maybe, just maybe, that she remembered me. Well, if you're certain that your eyes met the paper that I wrote upon – what the hell are you saying? That I don't care about Kairi anymore? That the letter was just something thrown together in one night – something that I wanted to be burned, or… eaten? It's hard to believe that you, Riku, my best friend would be able to think that.

And God, Riku, you're lucky you have one person to keep you company. You're lucky that you can talk to her; you're lucky that you can see her. When was the last time I've seen another person (with a heart)? When was the last time I got to talk to someone who was really there? When was the last time I got to touch the sand of our island, take in the scent of paopu… You don't know how much I miss that little block of sand, Riku. And you never will know.

What happened to you? Don't you know that my life revolves around Kairi? Don't you know that my eyes crave to meet hers? Or is it just because your heart is still thriving with darkness? God, Riku… if you weren't my best friend, if I could give you the blame that you deserve…

And just for the record, my 'oh-so-perfect' eyes are gone, now. No, not literally – they're just dead. Gray; a Heartless gray. I don't want to turn into a Heartless, yet… I really don't… but I can't look in a mirror, or a shard of glass (or my Keyblade, for God's sake!) without shuddering. It's scary, you know… everything's changing. I haven't seen light in years. I don't think my heart even beats the way it used to. Does yours, Riku? Do you still have the same view on life? Don't you think it's hard to know that there's a world being ripped apart right now, and you can't do anything about it? Well, guess what? That's my job, and I'm failing in it. I can't get off this god-forsaking planet! Everyone is counting on me! But you know what? I'm just a joke! I shouldn't even be a Keyblade Wielder! And now, everyone is going to realize what a mistake they made by putting trust in me. They let their guards down for just a second, thinking, "Oh, don't worry, Sora is going to come running back here, and protect us, and get rid of the darkness…"

But they're wrong.

Everyone's wrong, Riku. Everyone thinks that I'm going to, suddenly, walk out of the darkness, save their worlds, seal the keyholes, get back the lost, and they're all going to live normal, happy lives. It kind of makes me wonder – what do they think I am? Some mindless drone, who can only think one thing: Kill the Heartless? I really don't like killing them, you know… even if they're dead in the first place. Just knowing that I've slaughtered so many of the lost, it… it really hurts. Maybe it has something to do with when I turned into a Heartless… Oh Jesus, I miss her so much…

But why did you tell her I'm coming back? I hate to disappoint you, but I'm never going to get off of this world. And if I do, it's going to be too late. It kills me to know that it's the only thing keeping her alive. What happened, anyway? Oh, nevermind, I know – the damned Heartless attacked, and I didn't send the letter fast enough, and… and now that's ALL MY FAULT, too. The island is going to be destroyed, and Kairi lost her heart, and she's going to DIE. And while that is happening, the dear Keyblade Wielder will be sitting on the middle of nowhere, staring and smiling at walls. Walls, Riku! Walls!

And I doubt that that little vision of yours is going to come true, unless you decide to pop out of nowhere, and chop my head off. I have nothing left to live for. All of my friends – they're dead. And most of the worlds I… we… visited are probably gone. And Kairi… dear, dear Kairi… I'll never see her again, will I?

And… and that kiss, you wanted to give her? Or rather, you say that I should give her? Well, I would. God, if I was home, I would. Remember when I first started that little crush on her – how old was I, ten, eleven? Or was it even younger? Well, let's just say, I've wanted to kiss her since then. And now, I regret never… telling her. Telling her how much I loved her, and that I never wanted to lose her, and that… she was a damned Angel.

I mean, how many times does someone fall from the sky during a meteor shower? It really makes you believe it Heaven and all of that stuff – doesn't it? I can't think of a better explanation, about how she… just, appeared. I'm surprised that we didn't see some feathered wings sprouting out of her back.

Do something for me. When she starts yelling my name again, go over to her, and kiss her. Please. Kiss her for me, for all of the times that I've dreamt about her… for all of the times that we've fought over her. Oh, remember those little wooden swords? I always refused to believe that it was to prove something to Kairi… But please, Riku. Kiss her. And then you'll know what true love feels like. Because… after that, she'll probably realize it's you, you know? And it's not like you're 'taking her away' from me. She wasn't even… mine. I can't help her; I'll never see her again – so why hold back? Tell her how you feel. Show her how you feel.

What's going on here… Oh, what could possibly be going on here? Everything is just fine and dandy. That's why I pleaded to Kairi to keep safe, and that's why Donald and Goofy are dead, and that's why I'm never going to get off of this world. Want me to spell everything out for you?

Yes, the Heartless are fighting back. No, wait – they're just fighting. I'm the one who's not fighting back. These days, it's useless to try. I just wait until they're done. The funny thing is, they never try to take my heart. Whoever is controlling them… probably doesn't want them to. I'm going through enough torture… they probably love it.

Yes, they're opening doors, keyholes, whatever you want to call them. I'm sure they'll find this one at any moment, and I'll vanish with the world. If I don't, then… don't get your hopes up. There's always a chance I'll land in… Traverse Town, or something. But remember, I have nothing left to live for.

Yea, it's pretty safe to say they're filling my heart with darkness. One of the many reasons I'm never coming back to the islands. I'd love to do something about it, and stop it, just like before. Only thing is, Kairi is my only light now. And she's light-years away, dying. I always thought that I'd die first, you know? Seeing how I… put up with all of this. Sometimes, when I actually thought I could keep my promise, I'd fear that I'd die before I saw her again. Well… I guess I was right. Oh… and all of those promises I made. God, I said I'd take care of her, for you! And look at her! God, I've broken so many promises… killed so many people, so many Heartless… I've killed so much… I've destroyed so much… everything is gone, and it's never coming back…

Even Tidus is gone? Wakka, and Selphie, too? Our homes? Our parents? Everything…?

Why is it so hard to be a Keyblade Wielder, huh? Why is everything that happens around here my fault? And… and even if it's not, why can't I get it out of my head? Why can't I stop, and think, "Oh, maybe it's that idiot over there who let out the Heartless." Why do I always have to blame everything on myself? It's really hurting me, you know. Sometimes, I swear I feel my heart shatter… crumble.

But why me?

-- Sora.

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Reviews
(Note – the person who wrote the chapter you reviewed will respond n.n)

The Evil Leprechaun – Thank you very muchly x3 Yes, we did xD Hope you like it.

Minamotogirl – Heh, thanks, and sorry it took so long to update xD I'm very slow, on these things xx Montana would agree xP Hope you like!

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Author's Note – Oh, it only took me… how many months? Well, yea. You all know how slow dear Takoda is, especially with Build Me a Castle xP Yea, I don't think I really did well with the angst-y stuff, this chapter, but you know. I can never make things angst-y D: And it's a bit short. HOWEVER, I did make Sora spaz, so, kudos x3! (And yes, Sora talks to walls, now. Yay!)

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