Author's Note: Actually, everyone here belongs to me for a change. The story was inspired by Susan Kay as well as Tennyson.
The Patron of the Opera - Chapter Fourteen
Two hours later, the entire audience of the Opera Garnier rose in a standing ovation to the performers onstage. The opera was an immediate success and once the lights rose in the house, dozens of patrons rushed to the back of the theater in hopes of meeting the cast of the magnificent opera. Instead of meeting Rose O'Connor, they were abruptly turned away and sent to the salon which had been prepared by Baron Harrington to include a vast wine and liquor bar. With these distractions, none noticed two stagehands escorting a lame, disfigured man to the last door in the dimly lit artists' corridor.
Extremely uncomfortable and hopelessly humiliated, Enoch did his best to maintain his composure as the two stagehands gently helped him along the dark and cramped passages. They moved in silence but were quite careful to ensure his comfort on his second trip backstage; they supported his weight on the steps and even held doors for him so that he would not have to struggle with his hands. All too soon and finding himself nervous to the point of nausea, he again stood outside the wooden door of Rose's dressing room. The stagehands knocked and waited briefly before pushing him inside.
The only light in the room came from an oil lamp which was turned down to the dimmest possible level. Rose was not in the room and Enoch forced himself to remain standing until she would enter, the dull pain in his damaged leg was a welcome distraction from the aching of his heart. He took brief notice of the contents of the room and apparently, her tastes had not changed although her social status had; many of the furnishings were of similar taste to those that had been in her small apartment in New York. He slowly limped over to her desk which was now scattered with notes from the opera as well as a pile of expensive wedding invitations. It was with another wave of pain that Enoch realized that Rose and William were planning to be married in little more than a month.
Holding the crisp stationary in his hand, Enoch felt his stomach twist as he read the announcement in Rose's fine, copperplate hand. From the number of invitations, it seemed as though the wedding would be a quiet affair despite William's aristocratic station but Enoch noticed with some discomfort that the majority of the guests were William's family and friends; he only recognized two of the names which belonged to Rose's friends. He gently laid the fine paper back on the pile and stepped away, trying desperately to ignore the pain that seemed to be tearing his heart apart.
The rest of the room was in shambles; it was obvious to Enoch that someone had ransacked Rose's trunk in search of the other Czarina costumes as Carlotta's garments were far too large for the smaller woman. He walked slowly over to the opened container and looked into it, his breath catching in his throat when he saw a sea of white satin swimming within its cedar confines. With difficulty, he knelt and sadly fingered the beautiful material as tears flooded his dark eyes. He remembered the very day that he had commissioned this dress; his unattractive yet normal face had burned with embarrassment as he struggled to give the seamstress Rose's intimate measurements. He had imagined how Rose would look dressed in the fine satins and laces and dreamed of how her face would light up at the sight of this creation. But now, as he knelt painfully upon the floor of her dressing room, the gown only mocked him. No longer did the fine fabric hold promises of the future, it had become merely the cloth upon his altar of shattered dreams.
Hesitantly, he let his mangled fingers fall into the trunk and brushed them across the soft material. Unable to resist, he raised the gown from its slumber and carefully lifted it from the trunk and into his arms, barely taking note of the small lavender sprigs that had been carefully folded into the fabric. He carried the gown over to her chaise where he laid it out carefully upon the cushions. Kneeling again upon the floor, he lowered his unmasked face and reverently kissed the soft cloth before breaking into incontrollable tears. He was so distracted and distraught that he did not hear the door open behind him.
Rose took in the sight before her with a twinge of guilt; she had not expected to find Enoch crying into her wedding gown as she had done so many times before in recent years. Slowly, she walked over to his bent form and gently laid a firm hand on his shoulder. He immediately stiffened and released the gown's skirts from his desperate grasp. She realized that he would never willingly face her in these circumstances and so she decided to speak first.
"I'll have you know that I went through a great deal of trouble to fold that dress properly and now look at the mess you've made of my hard work…" she said in a voice that she desperately tried to keep free from tears.
Enoch turned about immediately, amazed that she could still find it within herself to tease him under such circumstances. She was still dressed in her costume from the last scene of the opera and when he lifted his eyes to see her face, he was horribly ashamed for being responsible for the pain in her intense gaze. He moved to turn away from her, but her gentle grip on his shoulder tightened and forced him to look in her direction.
In a flat, deadened voice, Rose stated "I do not want any lies. I want no more deception, no more running from the truth. I don't want to know how this happened, nor who was involved nor when it happened. All I want to know is why. Why would you do this, Enoch? Why would you lie to me?" Her voice broke off at the last question as tears closed up her throat.
Enoch could no longer look her in the face and lowered his head. He swallowed painfully and willed his voice not to betray him. "I…I couldn't face you like this, Rose…I'm no longer the man I once was…"
"Why couldn't you face me? Did you think me so shallow as to reject you for your injuries?"
A gasp tore from Enoch's throat and he grasped the hem of her beaded skirts in supplication. "No! I never thought that of you…"
She remained unmoved by the desperate note in his voice. In the same deadened tone, Rose asked "Then what was it? Why did you refuse to come home to me? Why did you allow me to believe that you were dead?"
"I couldn't come home to you like this…" Enoch whispered, his voice barely audible.
"Why?" was the only question that Rose cared to voice.
Enoch, extremely uncomfortable by the proceedings, grasped for some way to tell her, for some way so that she would understand. He never could've borne her pity; it would've been impossible for him to marry her when he was incapable of providing her with the life she deserved. How could he tell her that he had loved her so much that he thought it best to give her to another?
"I was...am...unable to be the husband that you deserved. I no longer have anything to offer you."
Rose took a deep breath and paused before voicing her next question. Her grip on his shoulder tightened with anxiety as she asked "Was it because you no longer loved me? Did you no longer wish to marry me, Enoch? Is that why you left?"
Enoch lifted his head instantly andwas horrified thatshe had jumped to this conclusion. Forthe first time, he found the courage to meet Rose's eyes. "Never" he declared passionately. "I've never stopped loving you. I have loved you and will love you until my dying day." He had hoped that this admission, this honest reply would erase the pain that he saw in her pale face. Despite all of his actions, it had always been his greatest effort to cause her the least amount of pain.
However, this passionate statement only caused Rose's face to harden into the stone-like expression that she adopted to conceal her emotions. Her grip on his shoulder became vice-like and her nails bit through the thin material of his shirt and into the tender flesh beneath. She lowered her head until it was mere inches from his scarred face and when she spoke, her voice was little more than a hiss issuing from between her two perfect, rose-bud lips.
"If you truly loved me, then why did you leave? Why did you lie to me, only to appear when I was finally ready to accept love from another? Did you ever think of how much I loved you, of how much I wanted and needed you? Did you ever consider the consequences of your actions? How could you be so selfish?"
She wrenched her skirts from his desperate grasp and stormed across the room to her bureau. Grabbing one of the wedding invitations from the pile, she returned and shoved the document into Enoch's nerveless hand.
"One month, Enoch. Only one month away from my wedding and you decide to appear. You've been masquerading as Simmons for the last four years – why did you come to me now? Regardless of your face, I would've welcomed you home. I would've nursed you, I would've cared for you. I loved you, Enoch, didn't you know that? I loved you!"
Tears fell freely from her green eyes but she made no move to wipe them away. Instead, she towered over Enoch's hunched form while he cowered at her feet. In an inarticulate voice, he whispered "I'm sorry…I didn't want to hurt you…"
Rose actually screamed with rage as she threw the Czarina's headdress across the room where it shattered the small mirror above her dresser. Reaching down, she grabbed Enoch by his collar and forced him to look at her. He could not help but flinch as he saw the fire burning in her eyes and when she opened her mouth to yell at him.
"You didn't want to hurt me! I cried for you! I mourned for you for four years! I hurt William time and time again just because I could not stop loving you! Despite how much he loved me, despite all of his understanding and compassion, I would've given anything for you to return – I would've sold my soul to the Devil himself for just one more hour in your presence. You thought that your death wouldn't have hurt me? It hurt everyone, even poor William. Exactly how stupid and foolish are you, you damned bastard, to think that this wouldn't have hurt me?"
With her free hand, she slapped Enoch soundly across his face. Her other hand, still grasping his collar, shook violently and after his head reeled from the blow, Enoch lifted his mangled hands and placed them gently about hers. "I'm sorry…"
She shook him roughly and continued to rave at him. His pleas went unheard and his voice became inarticulate in his desperation to explain himself. He yelled something incomprehensible to her ears and suddenly, she stopped her raving and looked at him questioningly. "What did you just say?" she whispered.
He didn't bother to take the time to speak clearly. "If I had returned, I would've been a burden to you…"
The anger faded almost instantly as Rose took the time to examine the man before her. Tears ran in rivulets down his scarred face and the remnant of his nose ran freely. His mouth trembled with his sobs and twisted grotesquely to form his words. For the first time, she realized the severity of his injuries; his head was simply a mass of scar tissue and his hair, once black but now grey, only grew in scattered patches across his scalp. She actually felt faint when she took notice of the two hands grasping her own; his fingers had been severed at the knuckle, leaving only thick scar tissue where bone had once been. The worst part of this was when she actually acknowledged to herself that this poor man was Enoch and not some random, faceless soldier.
His mouth contorted as he tried to speak to her, but she could not understand his words. The utter horror of this realization made her ill and she could taste the bile rise up in the back of her throat; he had always been articulate and well-spoken in the past and now he could barely vocalize a simple sentence. Her hands shook uncontrollably with terror and pain as she let go of his collar and stepped away from him. He reached out to her pleadingly and again spoke, but his mouth refused to move and so his appeal to her was terribly distorted. Upon seeing this, she bit back a sob as tears flooded her eyes; her heart broke again at the mere sight of the creature that once was her lover.
Turning her back on him and rushing over to her chest of drawers, she rooted inside them desperately until she found the pair of silver flasks which she kept well hidden among her intimate items. With violently shaking hands, she randomly opened one of them and gulped down its contents without even checking the liquid's identity. She was fortunate as the flask did not contain laudanum; instead, the strong brandy inside helped to calm her and enabled her to approach Enoch for a second time.
Without a word, she moved over to him and helped him to rise from the floor, guiding him to the chaise. He sat down awkwardly, avoiding sitting on the tearstained wedding gown, and again pleaded with her for forgiveness. She looked at him sharply and silently took her hand and placed it over his thin lips. "Enoch, I…I cannot understand what you are saying…" she stated in a low voice.
Ashamed of his incompetence, Enoch silenced himself immediately. His scarred cheeks burned with embarrassment and he turned to hide his face from her, desperate not to let her see the pitiable creature that he had become. However, Rose took her hand and firmly turned his face back to face hers. She held up the flask of brandy and offered it to him, muttering under her breath "Despite all propriety and in true unladylike fashion, I think we both are desperately in need of a good, strong drink…"
He tried to grasp the small flask with his hands, but he was too uncoordinated to do so. When he would've turned away in his shame, she firmly kept her hand pressed to his cheek and brought the mouth of the flask up to his lips. She slowly poured the amber liquid into his mouth but he found himself incapable of swallowing it all; he had never been able to eat or drink properly ever since his injuries cost him part of his jaw. He prayed that she would not notice the dribble of fluid from the corner of his mouth, but she did notice and gently wiped the offending liquid away before finishing off the remainder of the brandy in the flask.
She knelt down in front of him, her elegant Czarina robes pouring around her, and put her other hand up on his face. Enoch's eyes closed in his humiliation and the tears continued to stream down his cheeks and over Rose's fingertips. She gently wiped them away, but suddenly found herself unable to gaze any longer at the ruin of his face. Her hands slipped from his cheeks as she bowed her head until it brushed against his knees, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably with sobs.
When Enoch felt her head settle in his lap, his eyes flew open and he looked at the blonde hair spread out in his lap. Slowly, he allowed himself to succumb to temptation and touched her for the first time in five years; his hands moved and gently lifted the wig from her head. He let his head fall as his scarred hands smoothed the tousled red strands of her hair as he had done many times so many years before.
In this sorrowful embrace, they cried together; her tears falling onto his feet as his dropped into her hair. They cried together, mourning the life that had been lost as well as the future that never would be.
A/N: Sorry for the incredibly long lapse in updates; I sincerely did not expect this summer semester to be as intense as it has been. My finals are in the next two weeks but I hope to have the rest of the chapter revisions as well as the next updates posted relatively soon. My thanks to the reviewers and to the 'lurkers'; judging from the number of reviews, I was pleasantly surprised to see the number of hits this story has received. Your support will always be appreciated.
Olethros, I always offer my thanks for your reviews and praise. It was nice to know that you enjoyed the direction that I took with this story and I'm glad that you liked the 'nonchalant' manner; I'm not that great when it comes to writing emotions and so it seemed best at the time to just 'tell it as it is', despite how painful it would've been for the characters involved. As always, many, many thanks for your continued support.
Neshomeh, I daresay that I wasn't too thrilled myself with how the last chapter turned out especially given that it was such a major point in the plot...needless to say, I greatly appreciated your criticisms and have taken several of your suggestions to heart. The rewrite will be up shortly and will hopefully make the story flow a bit better. After letting the chapter sit for a bit and rereading your review with it about a month later, I was really shocked by how it turned out (it seemed a bit better when I posted :-D ) and that chapter, more than any other, was almost completely overhauled in the revision. Thanks so much for your support and for your help; all comments are always appreciated!
Lil Shady, I confess that I was very flattered to find myself on your fave authors list (thanks!) and I'm glad that you liked the latest installment of Patron as well as my most recent piece. Speaking of which, I would be very interested to see your take on a plot similar to mine; I always like to see another's point of view. I definitely wouldn't accuse you of plagiarizing (already had one author email me about an issue with my 'How Hungry' story...ugh...) and would very much like to read your work. I confess that you probably thought up that idea before I did as that piece barely made it from my head to the computer before posting; I had an idea during a free moment, wrote the story, and posted it the same day. The Ayesha comment was merely an afterthought on my part as I confess that I wanted to end it with a bit of a chuckle as it seemed to be a rather grim ending...but I do think that we'll be seeing a continuation of that story if you're interested. The Benefactor series, while still unupdated and the least liked of my work, is definitely a continuation of 'Fathers and Sons' once you get into the upcoming chapters.
Angeldemusique405, thanks for the email. As always, your input is greatly appreciated and I hope that you find this work to your liking!
Kokobunny, I confess that I was surprised to hear from you! It seemed that this storyonly attracted the same readers and it was nice tolearn that there weremore out in cyberspace. Thanks for the reviews and for making yourself known; I hope you enjoy this short continuation.
Captain Oblivious, je voudrais vous remercier de votrerevue de mon histoire. Mon Français n'est pas bon, mais je pourrais comprendre tous ce que vous avez écrits. J'étais très heureux de trouver une revue complètement en français (il m'a permis de pratiquer mes capacités linguistiques). Merci de votre revue et le soutenez!