Hi readers! Thanks for the reviews. I got more than forty hits, but not as much as forty reviews. Oh well. Well here's chapter two for you all! Also, if you read this then I ask you to please leave a review.

Day 6

Location: One League From Renvall

Weather: Not bad

We're not that far from Renvall now. Everyone is still complaining though that they're feet hurt and that they need more pornography. Not me. I always sneak on board of the supply manager cart.

I wish we were at Renvall already. It's getting boring just watching everyone complain. There isn't really anything to write about. Nothing except complaining, complaining, and more complaining. Especially from Artur. All he complains about is the safety of others.

First he says we might trip on the rocks on the ground and get injured. Then he says that we should stay in the shade because the rays of the sun are so hot that they might make us catch fire. And then he says if the healers over-heal one of us we might get so healed that we'll explode into a beam of healing rays. I mean, this guy is like Smoky the Bear saying protective stuff like "And only you can prevent forest fires." Man I can't believe my best friend is so nuts. Well that's Artur for you. A protective guy in some odd crazy sort of way.

There really isn't anything to write about. I'm stopping here even though its half a page.

Prodigy, Lute

Day 7

Location: Half a League from Renvall

Weather: It's night again.

Apparently tomorrow we're going to try and pull of a siege on Renvall. Either our team is full of dumb asses, or they're trying to commit suicide in the process.

We sent Colm somewhere to spy on the enemy. Well, we would've sent someone else more reliable for this job, but it appears that Colm can send messages to us by doing monkey calls. He said he was a "chimp scout" when he was a kid and learned nature survival crap. I remember when I was a child a monkey scout went up to my door selling cookies with bananas. After I tried the free sample I told him they tasted like they were baked from an easy bake oven.

Also, Ross is a chimp scout in training. I guess he knows how to translate monkey languages while yelling idiotically back.

After listening to Ross and Colm practice their little language, I was able to find out how to decipher it. The syllables are translated into a random word, but you have to listen carefully when they emphasize the syllables. I think about a quarter of people that go through my diary will try speaking this monkey language.

Ross and Colm are at it again. Seth is trying to get them to stop so everyone can do whatever they're doing in peace. I was trying to read a book across them.

Seth, "Okay! I had enough already! Just stop talking go we can all get some sleep!" Seth leaves the tent to leave Colm and Ross to do whatever and me to read my book

Colm, "………."

Ross, "………."

Colm, "Oo Oo Ooo Oo Oo Oo Ooo?" Which translates to "Don't you think he's annoying?"

Ross, "Oo Oo."

Colm, "Ooo... Oo Oo Oo Oo OoOo OoOo Ooo?" That translates to "So… Do you want to Annoy people now?"

Ross, "OoOoOo! Oo Oo!" I think that was "Hahaha! Hell Yeah!"

Ross and Colm run around the camp making monkey noises and throw bananas into random rooms.

Artur, "Dum de dum de dum….." Artur walks by innocently and trips on a banana. He then slides into a stack of barrels full of bananas. It spills unleashing bananas which people continue to slip on and slide into each other.

Joshua, "Hey a bananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Joshua slides on a banana.

Natasha, "Ooo Bananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" Natasha also slides on a banana, but collides with Joshua. Ending up with Natasha on top of Joshua.

Joshua, "Natasha! Fancy meeting you here! Want a banana?"

Natasha, "Uh how about later when I'm off you and you're about 10 feet away from me?" Natasha gets up and scurries off."

Joshua, "Aw…."

Garcia comes by and also trips.

"Doo dee doo dee doooooooo!" Garcia slides and then hits the ground.

Moulder slides next to Garcia.

Moulder, "Ow…"

Garcia, "Ugh… I think I broke something!"

Moulder, "Me too…"

Both put their hands on their back and then bring them back up to reveal broken squished bananas in their hands.

Moulder, "Ugh…"

Vanessa flies over the camp and watches us all except me as we slide into things.

Vanessa, "Wow. I can't believe they can't just try and get out of this and try to clean this up. Luckily I hate bananas and I don't eat them. Hahahaha!"

Vanessa's Pegasus looks down lustfully.

Pegasus thinks, "Oh my god! I love bananas! They're sweeter then carrots! And they're shiny! Must eat shiny stuff!"

Vanessa's Pegasus dives down to grab a banana with its mouth.

Vanessa, "Hahaha- Hey girl! What the flux- Ahh!" Vanessa's Pegasus slides on the bananas trying to nab one in its mouth.

Franz crouches and picks up a banana.

Franz, "Hm… Maybe I can cook something with a banana! Or maybe I don't have to cook it… Maybe I can just put it with something! I know! I got an idea! I'll put this banana in a bowl with vanilla ice cream! I'll put it in a bowl cut the bananas and call it… A banana split! W007! I'm a genius that has L33T cook!ng skillz! Ph34r the pow3r of my L33T B4n4n4 spli7! Hahahaha-Ahh!" Franz is pushed by Colm and Ross into the field of bananas.

Colm, "OoOoOo!" Translates into "Hahaha!"

Ross, "Oooo… Oo'Oo OoOoOo Oo Oo Oooo!" That turns to "Heey… Franz's banana split is goood!"

I pass by and watch as everyone trips and crashes into each other.

"Bananas are a good source of potassium…" I take a bite out of the banana I find.

Artur goes next to me covered in bananas. "Huff… Huff… Vision blurring… everything going yellowy!"

"Your vision isn't the only thing going yellow. I think your brain is turning into a banana."

"Lute! If I turn into a banana I want you to know I was the one who got your fire book slimy… I was trying to kill a bug with it!"

"… So you're the one who got that bug crap all over my fire tome?"

"Uh… Yes?"

"Whatever. If you turn into a banana I'm not saving you from whatever Monkey army that tries to eat you." I walk away.

"No Lute! Don't leave me out here! I'm scared!"

So yeah. Artur thinks he's dead. Later on he'll probably wake up and think that the monkeys spared his life and cured him of his illness. I'm going to go to bed now and try to get over this smell of banana that's reeking over the camp.

Prodigy, Lute

Day 8

Location: A Camp by Renvall

Weather: Not too bad I guess

Everyone at camp is getting pretty pissed off at hearing Ross making monkey calls while listening to Colm's monkey calls from God knows where. I mean, they're really getting annoying now. They've been doing this for at least half an hour now.

Why can't we just charge the enemy instead of waiting for Monkey Man and Monkey boy to finish being idiots? Ross is trying to tell Eirika and Seth what Colm is saying, but then Ross thinks its wrong then calls Colm in monkey language to repeat what he said. If this goes on the Grado forces are going to come to us and surrender. Oh yeah like that's going to happen.

We're probably going to camp out tonight and wait for Colm to get back here. They want to make sure that Ross didn't forget to say anything.

Okay I'm back from lunch. Ross didn't eat though. He's still yelling like an idiot. I swear I'm going to go over to him and set him on fire. Then I'll throw a flammable beverage at him. That should shut him up. As you can see I really don't like Ross a lot. Here's one of our conversations we had after he was finished

Ross tries to catch up to me while shouting.

Ross, "Hey! Lute! Wait up!"

"Oh god I hope Monkey boy isn't talking to me. I'll just pretend I can't hear him. Lalalala."

"Mage woman! I'm trying to talk to you!"

"First of all my name isn't mage woman. It's Lute."

"Yeah… I kind of know that already. And you know my name! Son of Garcia Ross!"

"So "Son-of-Garcia-Ross what can I do for you."

"I said my name's Ross. Anyway… You use magic right?"

"Yes Ross. You've seen me use magic before. And I don't just use magic. I know all types of magic. Don't make that mistake again."

"Okay… Your kind of weird… Do you think I can learn magic?" asked Ross.

"Nope."

"What do you mean nope?"

"I don't think your monkey brain has the mental capacity to handle the complexity of magic."

"Hey at least I can think before I answer a question!"

"Okay. Bye." I turn to leave.

"No wait!"

"Sigh. What now?"

"I just wanted to say, a mage once told me that if you use a tiny pinch of magic and believe in magic, all your dreams will come true!"

"You know what, honestly, I don't even want to know what you are dreaming for." I turn to leave before he can answer.

I'm stopping here so I can rest and think… You know what I just though why didn't we just have Colm come back here and give us a report on the enemy instead of annoying the crap out of us? Oh my god never mind I'm going to rest now.

Prodigy, Lute

Day 9

Location: Siege on Renvall

Weather: It's sunny and yellow like bananas

Today I'm sitting out on the battle. Paul told me I have too much "levels" and "experience points" already. Either he's comparing us to a game or he's just nuts.

I hope someone gets hit by those one of those ballistae. They have really bad accuracy though. If those archers in the ballistae think they're going to hit us without aiming as they take their nap, then they must be really, really, dumb.

I'm just sitting here on this little hill with the other people that have to wait. The battle looks okay so far. Wow they actually hit us with those ballistae. Who ever thought they'd hit us during nap time?

Ross is taking all the kills from everyone. Paul told us he just "upgraded" and he needs more experience. Also, Garcia is teaching Ross how to swim.

Actually, on second thought, this battle isn't going so well.

Moulder and Natasha run around the battle trying to take each others heals.

Moulder, "I have more healing experience than you!"

Natasha, "No, I have more healing experience than you!"

Moulder, "No I do!"

Natasha, "I do!"

Moulder, "I do!"

Natasha , "I do!"

Joshua slaps them both.

"Will you two stop acting like children?"

Natasha heals Moulder then herself.

"Ha! Now I have more healing experience than you!"

Moulder, "Aw…"

Garcia and Ross are by a river.

Garcia, "Okay son, swimming is easy! All you have to do is go in and move your arms like this!"

Ross, "Um, okay dad!" Ross jumps in and sinks. He emerges from the water and then splashes around.

Ross, "Help! Help! I'm drowning!"

Garcia, "Hold on son!"

Garcia throws a circular tube at Ross.

"Grab onto it son!"

Ross grabs the tube, but pulls it, causing Garcia to fall in next to Ross

Garcia, "Oh my god! Now we're both drowning! Help! Help!"

"I thought you knew how to swim!"

Garcia, "I don't know how to! I lied! But who cares! We're drowning!"

Ross, "Oh right…… Help! Help! We're drowning!"

Neimi and Colm are talking.

Neimi, "Hello Colm!"

Colm "What do you think your doing?"

"Um… I was just greeting you…"

"This is a battlefield Neimi! You don't greet people in a battlefield!"

"Sniff… I'm sorry…"

"What? Why are you crying now? This we're still on the battlefield!"

"Sorry…"

"You're the same ever since we were kids. You would always tag along me tripping and crying."

"Yeah… but you're the one who made me cry…"

"Oh my god…"

Franz rides his horse through the enemies and attacks.

Franz, "Take that!"

A Mercenary takes his hit.

"Ack!"

"Take that!"

"Ow!"

"And take this!"

"Ouchies!" The mercenary dies.

Franz, "Hahaha! Ph34r my L33T skillz!"

Seth, "What are you talking about?"

Franz, "I'm t4lking 4bou7 L33T."

Seth, "What's L33T?"

Franz, "It's this thing you know when you like… p4wnz som3on3… you know? Like th!s…" Franz does something with his hands.

Seth, "Erm… like so?"

Franz, "Hm… Not bad, but it needs a little work."

Eirika goes to the boss.

Murray, "Hahaha! You can't beat me because I'm the horse-boss-man!"

Eirika, "You stole that song from the gingerbread man!"

Murray, "Yeah, but no one said I couldn't!"

Eirika, "How dare you insult the gingerbread man! I'm going to kill you with my rapier! It does good damage against you!" Eirika charges with rapier in hand.

Paul shouts from somewhere behind her, "No! Eirika! Don't! Your rapier only has one use and won't do enough damage to kill him! Plus you only have seven health-"

Murray, "Hahahaha- Ow! Grrrr……" Murray takes his lance and hits Eirika.

Eirika, "Ow…" Eirika collapses.

Paul, "Never mind… retreat!"

Vanessa takes Eirika and we run.

Franz, "Hey guys check it out!"

Seth rides into the middle of the group wearing a beanie and armor that has reads Ph34r m4 L33T skillz printed in the middle.

Seth, "I'm L33T n0w! H4h4h4! Now k33p m4rch!ng!

Everyone groans because now Seth is bossy and annoying.

Ross, "Hey wait! We're still drowning! Help!"

Garcia, "I don't wanna die! I'm too old to die!"

Well that was a stupid battle. I can't believe Eirika was that stupid to charge him because of Murray, or whatever that idiot's name was, copying some stupid song about a cookie. Who makes a song about cookies that walk and run, then die in a lake? Whatever. Tomorrow I get to go to battle. Hooray. Not. I'm probably just going to kill off two, three people then go back to camp. It gets annoying when your in a battle with idiots yelling their heads off at each other.

Prodigy, Lute

Day 10

Location: You know where we are. If not, your really retarded

Weather: It's cloudy. The color of something not yellow

I'm just going to skip an introduction paragraph and go skip on to what happened during today's battle.

Ross swims around in the water.

"Yay! I can swim now!"

A fish splashes out of the water and then back in the water in front of Ross.

"Hey, cool! There are fish in here!"

A bigger fish splashes again. Then a larger one. Then a fish larger than Ross jumps out and swallows Ross.

"Oh my god! Ahh!" Ross is swallowed.

Garcia, "Noooo! Why does this keep happening to my son!"

Gilliam, "You mean getting swallowed by fish?"

"No! I mean why does he always get injured an stuff! Por quuuuuue!"

Gilliam, "I didn't know you were Spanish…"

"Sniff… I' not!"

Gilliam, "Erm okay… I'm just going to leave now…"

Garcia, "Sniff……..Wait! Come back! My son needs help! I can't go in the water and save my son! I can't swim!"

Somewhere else Artur and I are fighting off some soldiers.

Artur, "Hey Lute, what do you think of this?"

I fend of someone, "Of what?"

Artur, "You know, this!"

"I don't know what this is Artur. You can't just expect me to know."

Artur, "Sorry. I just thought we had this friendship telepathy thing."

"……That's not the point Artur!"

"Oh yeah. So what do you think of our job?"

"Our job of what"

"Being in this army."

"It's alright I guess. There are idiots in this army, but at least I get paid."

Artur, "Do you think we get paid enough?"

"Yeah. I get paid 100 gold every five minutes in battle."

"What? I only get 10 gold every five minutes in battle!"

"Well, I guess you don't kill enough people."

Artur, "What do you mean?"

"Well, all you do is warn people to be cautious and stuff. And you put "Do not step here" signs that people just trip on. Oh. Maybe that's why your pay is so low."

Artur, "Aw man. I should stop being so cautious and all. But it's like… In my blood to warn people!"

"Well, then here's when you stop. Starting, now."

"I don't think I can handle the pressure!"

"Just don't do anything that involves annoying the crap out of me."

"Okay! I'll try!" Artur stands there and glances at a rock. We stand there for a few seconds.

Artur, "Agh! I can't help it!" Artur runs over to the rock and puts a Warning sign on it.

I watch and I say to myself, "Oh my god…"

Eirika is with Garcia, who managed to get Ross back near Murray.

Eirika, "Okay! I'm going to kill him now! This is for the ginger bread man, the snow man cookie, and the animal crackers too!" Eirika charges, but is held back by Seth.

Seth, "Um, sorry. I was ordered to hold you back, Princess Eirika."

Eirika, "Let me go! I can take him! Just let me have five minutes!"

Seth, "Sorry, Princess. I can't do that."

Eirika screams like a little kid having a tantrum.

Eirika, "No fair! You never let me do anything by myself! You don't let me go to parties, you never allow me to cross the street, I can't even put the frozen waffles in the toaster, and you never let me take a bath by myself!"

Everyone stares at Seth.

Seth, "Erm… she's lying…"

Garcia goes up to Murray.

"Hey Murray! I got a steel axe while you have a javelin equipped!"

Murray, "Oh my god! He has a steel axe while I'm only equipped with a javelin!"

Garcia does a critical hit on Murray. Murray Collapses on the ground with The steel axe embedded in his nervous system.

Eirika escapes Seth's grasp and runs over to the dead Murray.

"Hahaha! You suck Murray!" Eirika kicks Murray in the head where the axe is embedded in his nervous system. Murray's leg kicks Eirika very, very, hard in the shin.

Eirika, "Ow my shin!"

Seth, "See I told you would get injured if I let you go!"

Eirika, "Sniff… I'm sorry."

Seth, "Oh it's okay. Is the baby alright?"

Eirika, "Yes… But… I got a booboo on my leg!"

Seth, "Don't worry, we'll bring you to the healers tent! Then your booboo will be all better!"

Eirika, "Yay! Can we get ice cream too?"

Seth, "Why not?"

Eirika, "Yay!" Eirika hugs Seth.

We all stare at Seth.

Seth, "What? You've never seen an adult talk to a child before?"

We all sigh and set up a camp by the fort.

Yeah, well that was actually very funny. And embarrassing for Eirika probably seeing that she's sometimes treated like a baby.

I wonder why bad things always happen to Ross. Must be a curse or something passed down by Garcia. Well, I'm going to bed now. I hope Artur and Paul can stop using their "Gamecube" that they insist I play with them. I don't want to become too attached and become like them. Which is Artur, the protective guy and Paul, the guy that drinks a lot of lemon soda.

Prodigy, Lute

Well, that was one of my long chapters. You won't see that in a while. I hope this racks up a few reviews. Please review!