HI!
This Chapter was mostly written in a hurry because I just found out I'll be able to post it tomorrow.
Special thanks to reviewers:
VGMaster04: Glad you like it!
Cyborgrockstar: HIT HIM WITH YOUR CANE MISTER DICKENSON! GIVE HIM THE CHAIR VOLTAIRE! Yes treasured memories indeed.
Beybladerulz1 and baby sweet: thanks for your reviews and glad you liked it!
Chapter Three: Quality time on the farm
ERERERERUUUUUUWWW!
Kai sat bolt up right in his bed, which was a bad move seeing as he hit his head on the bunk above him.
"I'M GONNA FREAKIN' KILL YOU, YOU STUPID ROOSTER!"
Ray sat up on the top bunk.
"Mornin' already," he said, yawning.
Kai gave him a long sentence full of cusses that I'm not aloud to repeat.
"I'll take that as a yes."
They had stopped the drive to where they thought the castle would be to spend the night at a farm. It had taken the better part of an hour to convince the farmer to let them stay (most of the time Kai had spent hiding in the barn, afraid that the cop might drive by).
Kai and Ray both got dressed and went outside to find the priest and Tyson sitting by the car with a map.
The priest looked grumpier than usual today.
"I hope you're happy," he said while giving them an accusing glare. "I stayed up all night listening to this idiot."
"Well Ray was still partially blind and needed a smart person to help him out," said Kai.
"I could have helped him!"
"You're old, cranky, and you only help people when you feel like it."
"Show respect to your elders."
"Elders, not walking corpses."
"Ha, Ha."
"It couldn't have been that bad," cut in Ray. "Tyson couldn't talk all night."
Now the priest turned his Death Glare on Ray.
"No but he snores louder than he talks. With my old age I need my sleep."
"I thought the living dead didn't need sleep." (Kai, obviously)
"Just for that I choose where we eat. Now if we go down the road about 5 miles we'll reach a Mc Donald's…"
"Hold on y'all," said the farmer, "y'all need to help me work for spendin' the night here."
"Wouldn't money work?" asked Kai.
"Naw I want hard manual labor from ya startin' now."
With that he gave them each a sheet with two jobs on it.
They all split up to do the jobs and get the hell out of the place.
Rays jobs were to wash the farm house windows and milk the two cows.
He got the windows done okay but the cows were a tricky thing.
One he got done but the other just wouldn't let him get near it.
Every time he tried it either tried to kick him or swished its tail into his face.
"Nice Cow."
Ray tried to get close by moving in slowly.
The Cow kicked him in the forehead.
Caution the next part is funny but some may consider it just plain stupid. If you need a laugh skip this and move on down until you see more words like this. Note that this does not really happen in the story but is just to make it longer.
"So that's how you wanna play Cow." Ray reaches behind him and pulls a light saber out of thin air. He lights it and it glows blue.
The Cow pulls out a red light saber and stands on two hoofs.
"Ahh, I see you have been trained in the ways of the Sith."
Ray and the cow start fighting in a star wars light saber duel. (Just picture THAT sight in your mind.)
The cow forces Ray to move closer to the wall.
Ray turns and run UP the wall and makes a flying somersault leap over the cow, cutting off one hoof in the process.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
They cow drops the light saber and raises it other hoof.
Ray holds his throat as the Sith Cow starts force choking him.
Suddenly Darth Vader appears.
"That's MY special move Cow! I made it and YOU CAN'T USE IT CAUSE IT'S PATENTED!"
With that he slaps the Cow.
"BAD Darth Cowyus."
Then he walks out of the barn and back to Star Wars.
Ray sits on thew ground holding his neck.
"I see I have met my equal but I shall prevail!"
He pulls off another leap over the cow and holds out his hands.
His blast of Force misses the cow and cracks the wall.
"Damit."
Then the Cow jumps up and does a flying spin kick at Ray that hits him in the forehead and sends him reeling back through the open door to the yard.
He has a U imprinted on his forehead.
All those who didn't want to read the funny part that never happened you may start reading now.
Ray sits up outside the barn and looks around wildly.
"Damit I'm blind again!"
To Be Continued…
Hope you enjoyed. Next chapter will be funny including Kai trying to kill the rooster and Tyson suffering from food depravity.
And Silverwingedangle could you pleeeeeeease update Spoiled?